I was exhausted, strolling out into the early morning air in nothing but a t-shirt and sweatpants. I opened Trish's mailbox with her key. I closed it and shuffled my feet back into her house, my eyes glued to each envelope as I was flipping through it. I shut the door with the bottom of my foot when I suddenly noticed an envelope that looked fancier than the rest.
The envelope a lot shorter than the rest as well, it was painted in a beautiful beige, the shade of Dawn Chorus to be exact. (How did I know this? I love the color beige, I know pretty much all the shades of it, from lightest to darkest.) In beautiful cursive writing I saw my name printed on the front in a soft gold Miss Ally Dawson. The envelope was sealed with a big, gold sticker.
Curious, I wandered further into the house, setting the other envelopes on her table and tearing into this current one. (Okay, I lied, I didn't tear it. I carefully opened it. I believe tearing an envelope is rude.) I slipped out a piece of paper that had been folded in half. I unfolded it slowly. My mind was racing. What is this?
Miss Ally Dawson,
Congratulations!
The Grammy nominations for Favorite Female Artist Of The Year are:
KATY PERRY
BEYONCE
ALLY DAWSON
LORDE
KELLY CLARKSON
RIHANNA
I felt my heart jump into my throat and my breath catch inside my lungs. My hands started to shake as I re-read the paper over and over again, trying to make sense of any of it. Was this really happening?
Oh my God.
I just got nominated for the Grammy's.
Finally, I think the news hit rock bottom because I shouted, "Oh my God!" I ran around the house just to find that I was by myself. I stopped jumping around and stared at the paper again, re-reading another time just for extra verification. I felt tears fill my eyes as I laughed out of shock and joy. I had to be dreaming.
I grabbed my phone, calling my Mom who lived in L.A with me, I explained to her the news, blubbering loudly on the phone. She sobbed out of pure joy and excitement, declaring that she knew I could do it. I didn't hesitate to tell my Dad who was silent before he cried proud tears as well. My excitement didn't lead to tears anymore, just an incredible amount of rejoicing and jumping around.
Before I knew it, I ran into my bedroom, slipping into more appropriate and fresher clothing. Trish had left her keys on the table, so I grabbed them, still clutching the letter in my other hand, and jumped into her car. I took off towards the mall where I was sure Trish was.
. . . .
I burst into the Practice Room where I was lucky to find Trish, Dez, and Austin. Perfect! "Guys! Guys! Guys!" I could hardly breathe. They were still alarmed by my sudden entry and stared at me questioningly.
"Ally?" Trish said, arching a brow. It was like I was squealing on the inside, not making any sound but sucking in large amounts of air and shifting excitedly from one leg to another. "Ally, breathe! What's going on!"
I started shaking my hands weirdly. I must've looked ridiculous but I couldn't help myself, I was so darn excited! "Ally. What. Is. Going. On.?" Austin said slowly. Dez was afraid to talk to me, he backed away instead. I didn't care. Too much excitement was bubbling through me!
I was nearly hyperventilating. I held up the envelope and pointed at it with my index finger, smacking it more than a few times, "This! This! This!" They still didn't understand. I let out a semi-squeal, shaking my body all over, "I just got nominated for the Grammy's!" I announced.
They weren't like me; they understand what I said the second it was spoken. Trish's eyes bulged, Austin jumped up from his seat, and Dez gasped.
Trish shouted, "What!"
Austin blurted, "Oh my God!"
Dez yelled, "Holy mother of Music!"
I squealed again, nodding and shaking my body ridiculously again, "I know!"
"Ally, this is incredible!" Austin shrieked and I ran into his open arms, hugging him tightly. He continued to chant how happy he was for me. I was in too much excitement to realize our moment. Trish and Dez had joined in as well. Trish leaking happy tears.
"What's going on in here?" the sound of my boyfriend's voice rang into my ears. I grinned wide and pulled away suddenly from the group hug, turning towards Dallas.
[Austin]
Trish's mouth gapped open, "You do?!" I sighed, nodding.
"Yes, Trish. I like Ally again," I repeated.
"I told you it wasn't wishful thinking! Doubter!" Dez yelled at Trish who was ecstatic about the whole thing. I rose my eye brows.
"What?" I said.
"Never mind," Trish said, waving her hand dismissively at me. "Why do you look so upset?"
"Well, it's not like I can tell her. She's just my friend - she's not even that, not anymore. I'm just someone she's forced to work with and she has Dallas now, who she seems to really like," I sighed with defeat. Trish frowned and Dez patted my shoulder.
"Austin, you should really-"
The Practice Room door swung open with a lot of force and Ally appeared in the doorway, looking like she just peed her pants. "Guys! Guys! Guys!" She was dancing weirdly, shaking her hands and bouncing on her feet. She looked like she was trying to hold in or muffle screams of some kind. It concerned me, to be honest.
We were still all a little stunned by her sudden appearance, but finally Trish said, "Ally?" Ally wouldn't respond, it was almost like she couldn't. It dawned on me that she wasn't breathing properly. "Ally, Breathe! What's going on?" Yeah, I'm pretty that was what we were all wondering.
Her dancing and shaking started to get on my nerves, so I repeated Trish's words more slowly, wondering if she'd answer this time, "Ally. What. Is. Going. On.?"
I glanced to Dez who backed out and refused to talk to her. He looked semi-frightened. "This! This! This!" shouted Ally, holding back squeals for some reason. Mail? Why is she showing us her mail? Finally, she let out the squeal that she'd been holding back, "I just got nominated from the Grammy's!" I was off of the piano bench the second my mind registered her words.
"Oh my God!" I heard myself say along with Dez and Trish shouting out their own shock and excitement.
The only thing Ally could think to say was, "I know!" I couldn't even begin to explain the pride I felt for her. She deserved this more than anyone. She worked for this. Today, three or four years ago, Ally wouldn't have dared to even sing in front of anyone other than myself, Dez, and Trish, and now she was just nominated for the Grammy's.
I didn't notice my arms were opened until she ran into them, gripping me tightly like she didn't want to let go. I didn't want her to. I returned the strong embrace, burying my face into the crook of her neck and consistently repeating how happy I was for her and how proud. I felt Dez and Trish join our hug, but I hardly noticed them because I was focused on Ally and her huge moment. I thought I was about to kiss her - Maybe on the cheek, maybe on the forehead, maybe on the lips, but suddenly I heard the sound of a voice I was trying not to dislike: Dallas's.
"What's going on in here?" he questioned, his arms crossed, leaning against the door frame, arched eye brows. Oh, take a hike! But I didn't miss the way her face lit up and I only remembered when she used to look at me that way.
"Dallas!" she cried, tearing from our grip. She grabbed the letter and held it in both hands, showing it to him, bouncing on both feet again, "I was nominated for the Grammy's!"
His eyes grew semi larger and his eye brows raised, "You were what?" he said, laughing out of shock. "That's so awesome! Come here!" she wrapped her arms around his neck, laughing happily like she was content there.
I couldn't watch her be happy with someone else so gave my gaze permission to fall to the floor. My blood boiled. It was only three weeks ago that she was crying because of the dirtball! That stupid, ignorant, controlling, Moldy Pancake.
"We need to tell my Mom about this!" he announced. I looked up at her to see her response and I caught the way her eyes lost their sparkle but she immediately forced them to sparkle and I was thinking it was really only to please him. She shouldn't feel forced to do anything.
"Yeah!" she agreed, but I knew my Ally and she did not want to. If he knew anything about her, he'd know the way her tone changes when she wants or does not want to do something. She used the tone that stated she really did not want to but would just for him. Because he was her stupid boyfriend. But he doesn't deserve even one shade of Ally!
"Ally, I wanted to celebrate with you. Maybe the four of us could go out to dinner?" Trish said, biting her lip. She gave Ally a look that told her she strictly did not want Dallas there.
"I'll come with!" Dallas exclaimed, grinning. I tried not to glare, but it was hard.
Ally was looking at Trish, she looked back at Dallas and patted his chest once, "Um, How about we tell your Mom and do something with her. Tonight I'll celebrate with my friends, just me." Thank you, God. But Dallas clearly did not like that, but he glanced towards the three of us and forced a nod.
"Alright, whatever you want, babe." he said and I watched the way she nearly grimaced. Ally definitely did not like that. He had no idea who he was even dating. Again, if he even knew Ally, he'd know that she doesn't like those kind of nicknames, they make her uncomfortable.
I watched him pull her away, their hands laced, but Ally still glances back at me, just me, only to smile. I gave her a small grin that was barely even on my lips, perhaps it didn't even make it there.
[ Ally ]
"Ally, that is unbelievable!" said Dallas's mother, cupping her hand over her mouth in wonder. I grinned at her, nothing could take away this moment from me. "Are friends and family allowed?"
Well, except for maybe that.
"I, uh, I'm not sure," I told her.
"Well, surely, once you do know, we will be invited, won't we?" she questioned.
"Well, I was...I was sort of thinking I would invite, um, my friends first," when I said that, she looked at me as if I'd insulted her in the worst way, so I elaborated, "It's just that Austin was my partner, he helped me overcome my stage fright, it would only be fair if he got to see me accept my award," if he even really cared, "Trish is my best friend so she has to come and Dez is her boyfriend and my friend, he'll need to be there, too. Oh and of course my Dad will want to be there with me."
"I want to be there, too," Dallas blurted.
"I'm sure I could invite you as well," I said, my voice soft.
"If Dallas goes, I am going as well," Anne invites herself. I couldn't be rude, so I just nodded. She smiles with satisfaction.
With that being said, Dallas explained to his mother that he wanted to celebrate with me. He took me to an ice cream parlor where I asked for Fruity Mint Swirl. Dallas offered to pay and I let him.
"I'm so proud of you, Ally," Dallas said, smiling down at me with the smile that made my heart trip inside my chest. I blushed and focused on my ice cream. I nodded.
"Thank you, Dallas," I told him.
"I just thought it was rather odd that you didn't want to tell me first," he mumbled. I looked at him and felt immediately guilty. That was the truth. It was odd that I didn't want to tell Dallas first, in fact, it actually never occurred to me to tell him. The only people I thought of were my parents and my friends. Not Dallas. Not his mother. Not even Nelson and he only lives down the street from Dez.
"I was in so much shock, I didn't know who to go to first. I called my parents first," I told him. He seemed to relax. I frowned. Why was he tense in the first place? "What? Why were you so uptight?"
"I just, I don't know, I'm just glad you told your parents first instead of Austin," he said, eating some of his own ice cream.
I stopped, "Why would that matter?"
"Well, you're not with Austin. You and Austin are hardly friends. It would be odd to pick Austin to tell over anyone else. But it was nothing, I worried over nothing because you didn't tell him first," he smiled.
"You were worried?" I grumbled, walking again. Dallas's arm brushed up against mine casually and for the first time, it didn't give me goose bumps.
"I guess I was," he admitted.
"You don't trust me?" I questioned, "Only boyfriends who don't trust their girlfriends get worried over stuff like that."
"Don't pick a fight with me, Ally. Let's enjoy this moment of excitement," Dallas said. There he goes again, calling all the shots. It annoyed me but I let it go.
"Okay," I responded, but all I could think was: I was not picking a fight!
"Ally, Can I do something?" he questioned. I nodded, looking up at him and my eyes widened when he got real close. I realized what he was doing and I grinned. I happily leaned up and pressed my lips to his. His lips were warm but I grimaced when they tasted of Black Licorice. Horrible ice cream, absolutely horrible.
But when his lips were on mine all I could see was Austin's face in my mind and the ocean made me hear the sound of his laugh. I wonder what Austin's lips felt like. I felt them once and I'd been dying to feel them again. Wait, what? I jumped away from Dallas, panicked as to why I was thinking of Austin suddenly. This wasn't the first time; it's been happening a lot lately.
"Is something wrong?" he asked me, confused.
I looked at him, "No," I lied, I'm just imagining kissing Austin instead of you.
"Alright, you seemed panicked for a second," he said, searching my face for something.
"Oh...Um, no, you just...you stepped on my toe," I fibbed and he chuckled.
"Sorry about that," he said, glancing down to my feet, "they look fine." I smiled slightly and nodded. He laces our hands together and for an odd reason, I pulled my hand away. When he looked at me surprised, I just pretended to fix the napkin that was wrapped around my cone and he immediately laid off.
"I love you, Ally," Dallas suddenly blurted. I turned and looked at him. He's staring down at me with intense eyes, but my lips won't move and I don't say it back.
It hits me then; I don't love Dallas.
. . . . . . .
I was sitting on my bed, staring out my window. The city lights were beautiful. I thought about today and everything that happened and I let it run through my head. I sighed, reaching over to the nightstand by my headboard and I grabbed my songbook. I started scribbling down lyrics.
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed
You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes-eyes
You're like an Indian Summer in the middle of a winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test
He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
(Taste your mouth)
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into
You're the best, and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you go
Now, now the lessons learned
I touched it, I was burned
Oh, I think you should know!
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes
Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes
Oh, won't you walk through
And bust in the door and take me away?
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay...
I put the pen down, turned out the light, and forced myself to sleep. It didn't take much, because I fell asleep right away, into a deep slumber. One where I dreamed of a blonde haired boy and the blonde haired boy only.