I shuffled my feet, shifting from side to side before I finally gathered enough courage to press my finger against the doorbell. I waited for two long beats until the door opened. There was Dallas, looking disheveled from sleep. He ran the back of his hand across his eyes. "Ally?" he groaned, sleep tagged in his voice.
"Yeah," I murmured. I avoided looking at him too much; it hurt.
"What's up?" he mumbled, trying to stifle a yawn, "It's only..." he leaned backwards to look at the clock on his wall. His eyes grew a little bigger, "Oh, it's noon." he gave me a sheepish smile, "Sorry. Come in."
"No, it's fine. This will only take a minute," I bit on the inside of my cheek. He arched a brow.
"I can make you coffee?" he offered.
I closed my eyes for a second before reopening them. "Dallas," I started, "There's a few things you need to know about me: 1) I like to write music because it heals me, not because I want to be famous. 2)I started writing music notes when I was five, I started writing songs when I was about seven. 3) My parents divorced when I was nine. 4) I won the sixth grade talent show. 5) I don't like horror movies or deep romantic ones 6) Twilight was an awful movie," Dallas's face that was grinning slightly started to contort into a look of confusion. But I continued, "7) I don't like gross nicknames like baby or babe or even sweetheart. 8) I hated that you talked for so long on our first date, the one that I actually never agreed to. 9) I will never write a song for you, it'll always be for me and 10) I don't like coffee."
Dallas stared at me for a long moment, "You lost me." he said.
I sighed and dared to ask, "Dallas, what did you think of me in high school?"
"What?" he laughed slightly. I gave him a look. "Well, I...I don't know. You never really crossed my mind - I mean, I had a girlfriend and I was on the Football Team. You were always into math and..." he crinkled his nose, "you tutored instead of going to the movies. You were kind of a geek," he grinned at me. It was like he thought he was teasing me but I knew it was the truth.
"And what did you think of me when I came back?" I questioned.
His face brightened. "You were so different! You have awesome music, last year you won 3 Teen Choice Awards and 4 Kids Choice Awards! Oh, and you won an award for People's Choice Awards, too! You went on a tour! You were having meet and greets. You write really good songs. You had a new body," his eyes got slightly lusty but I ignored it, "I don't know, you were just different. You were like the improved, confident Ally!"
"So, you saw me because I was on the covers of magazines...because I was famous?" I quizzed him, my voice getting softer. He scrunched his nose.
"Ally, what are you talking about?" he asked.
"You know nothing about me, Dallas. We've been together for about five months and I don't think we can go on any longer," I finally said.
He looked so insulted. "What?" I nodded, swallowing down hard. "Ally, Are you...breaking up with me?" I hesitated before nodding again. "Why?"
"Dallas, you don't know anything about me or my background besides what's been written in a magazine. I can tell that you don't like my friends. You only noticed me because I got famous; if I was never famous, you still wouldn't see me or ever notice me. I crushed on you so hard in high school and I always waited for you to notice me, but you never did until I got famous. Dallas, I know about you and those girls."
He looked like he didn't know how to respond. He just stared back at me and I think I saw guilt in his gaze but I didn't hold our stare long enough to see. I stared down at my feet, which were pressed together.
"That's why I'm breaking up with you. You never liked me for me, it was just because I'm famous and I can see that now. We just..." I finally looked back at him, knowing that I needed to do this properly, "We just won't work out. I'm sorry, but it's over. We're over." I turned around to begin walking away when he suddenly started talking.
"Oh, great," he laughed bitterly. I was taken aback. "So, you going to go out and write a little song for me now?" That was new. Last I checked, he wanted me to write a song about him.
I stopped and looked over my shoulder. "I've never written a song for anyone, Dallas. They've all been for me." Excluding Austin.
"Don't you dare write a song about this!" he glowered at me. "Ally, we need to talk about this!" he finally said pleadingly. I shook my head, turning back to him again.
"There's nothing to talk about; you were sneaking around and I don't want anything to do with you." I told him as I shook my head.
"What about the Grammy's!?" he blurted. I nearly forgot.
I looked at him and noticed his regretful gaze. "I'm a little nervous." I admitted to him, "And you're invited. I invited you after I found out about you and that Lila girl." Dallas looked rather shocked. I turned around and started walking away. He didn't even call after me. He just let me go.
I left Dallas and his cheating butt behind me.
. . . . . . . .
"You're looking nervous," my Dad told me. I looked at him and laughed slightly. I was just putting in my earplugs when I'd seen him, so I let them hang around my neck. I fumbled the microphone in my hands, staring down at it. Today was the Grammy's and I was backstage getting ready.
I'd flown here, to L.A., with Trish, Austin, Dez, and my Dad. We'd gotten here yesterday so I was able to sneak in some resting-time. I didn't know if Dallas decided to show, but I'm sure he did and I bet he brought his little secret's with him.
"You could say that," I giggled.
"Don't be," he told me. "You're a natural talent, Ally. You were invited to perform here for a reason. By the way, Did I tell you how proud I am?"
"More than once," I chirped. He laughed and gave me a hug. I wrapped my arms around my father, dwelling in the comfort. We would have said more but one of the stage manager's came rushing towards me and spilled the details that I was to be on stage in five minutes.
My Dad dismissed himself to get back to his seat. I popped in my earplugs and played with my hair, which was styled in soft curls and was pinned to one side, it lay limp on my right shoulder. I really liked my dress. Trish bought it with me. It was a last minute buy, too. It was purple with silver sparkles that decorated the dress in a cool design by the waist, it was strapless and fit my body tightly. I wore silver high heels with it. My earrings were diamonds and -
"Ally, You're due on stage!" the stage manager told me and I nodded, letting him lead me towards the entrance. My stomach was bubbling with anxiety but I focused on my fans who were deliberately waiting out there or behind their TV screens for me to perform.
The host introduced me to the stage and there was a loud applause for me, whoop's and screams, whistles and shouts. It made me feel so alive. That's why I loved performing. I felt so alive and like I connected with my fans.
The stage was dark and I prayed that I wouldn't trip. I took my place on the stage, sitting down on the stairs where I was told my performance would look best. I glanced at the crowd who I could not see just yet, only the light's of cell phones.
Finally, the stage slowly lit up now that I had taken place and I heard the applause again, only ten times louder now that they could actually see me. The spotlight shone down on me with heat. I heard the sound of the instruments play very softly. I gripped my microphone tightly in my hand and brought it to my lips.
"Long were the nights when
My days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps
Praying the floor won't fall through, again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
You paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game
But you changed the rules everyday
Wonderin' which version of you I might get on the phone, tonight
Well I stopped pickin' up and this song is to let you know why
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone.
Don't you think I was too young
To be messed with?
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home, I should've known.
Well maybe it's me
And my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it's you and your sick need
To give love then take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back in regret how I ignored when they said,
"Run as fast as you can."
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone.
Don't you think I was too young
To be messed with?
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home
Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong
Don't you think nineteen's too young
To be played by your dark, twisted games?
When I loved you so, I should've known."
As the music grew louder and I was able to take a pause from singing. I got up from where I was sitting and carefully walked down the stairs towards the centre of the stage, earning myself a loud cheer from my very trusty friends and fans.
"You are an expert at "Sorry"
And keeping lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry have tired lifeless eyes
Cause you've burned them out
But I took your matches
Before fire could catch me
So don't look now
I'm shining like fireworks
Over your sad empty town,"
I heard the sound of the loud, colorful fireworks popping behind me. The applause and shouts were loud and full of excitement and surprise.
"Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone.
Don't you think I was too young
To be messed with?
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young
To be messed with?
The girl in the dress
Wrote you a song, you should've known.
You should've known
Don't you think I was too young?
You should've known."
I was applauded loudly, people whistling and clapping, shouting and screaming. I felt a grin curl onto my lips as I stared at the crowd. I let them cheer me on for a few long moments before I put the microphone to my lips, "Wow, thank you so much!" I grinned, "It was an honor to perform here tonight. Thank you for having me tonight and screaming for me! It means the world to me! Once again, Thank you!" I waved at the crowd and exited the stage once the lights went out.
. . . . .
I had changed my dress and was now wearing another one; it was black and had only one shoulder strap. It also fit my body tightly with ruffles and a belt that wrapped around my tiny waist.
I had joined the crowd and I was receiving a lot of 'congratulations' and 'good job's'. When I reached my seat, Austin, Dez, and Trish were ecstatic for me and wrapped their arms around me, hugging me tightly. I giggled, hugging them back. My parents were crying out of pride as they wrapped me up in their arms as well.
The night had dragged on but we gave a few laughs here and there. Finally, they were announcing Favourite Female Artist Of The Year and I was bloody-well scared. If I didn't win that was okay, a little disappointing, but I'd be fine, just the nomination was good enough to win. But then if I won, heck, I don't know what I would do. I didn't prepare a speech.
"You're nominees are: Katy Perry, Rihanna, Kelly Clarkson, Ally Dawson, Beyonce, and Lorde!" I noticed my picture go up on the big screen along with the other nominees, waiting for the reactions of the star who was to win this nomination. I was sure it was Beyonce. That woman was phenomenal and I'm a big fan.
"The Favourite Female Artist Of The Year goes to..." the host flipped the card ever so slowly. She grinned wide and leaned forward to speak into the microphone, "Ally Dawson!"
My heart wasn't beating anymore. My hand reached up to cup my mouth as I reeled from shock. Tears filled my eyes. Trish jumped in excitement, gasping loudly. She had to nudge me to get me to finally stand up and when I did, she stood with me, grasping me in a warm embrace and then telling me to get to the stage.
My hand was still on my mouth as I made my way towards the stage. I was so shocked I couldn't even respond to some of the other music artists who called for me and told me that I deserved it. I couldn't even thank them for the congratulations they were sending me.
When my hand finally dropped to my side, I realized I was shaking. I was so honored, I didn't even know what to say. I made my way up the steps of the stage and took the award, holding it in my shaky hands. I was pulled into a hug by the host who laughed and told me I did an amazing job earlier and she also congratulated me on my win.
I went to the microphone and saw all the eyes on me. I think I'm sweating. "Oh my Gosh," was the first thing out of my mouth, earning me thousands of chuckles, "Whoa. Wow. I don't know what to say," I told the crowd, speaking my mind. "I didn't even...I didn't prepare a speech," I added and I earned loud laughs for that one. "I guess...I guess I'm going to start off with a fat thank you! This means so much. It feels like yesterday I was just writing songs on my bedroom floor (and I probably was, too)," everyone laughed again, "but now I'm standing here in front of all of you and I'm holding this award in my hands that means...some of you...actually voted for me!" You could hear the breathlessness in my tone. It made a lot of people laugh. My shock was not hidden. "Thank you...just thank you so much. I'm gonna cry, gosh," I said, my eyes were full of tears, "Wow. I mean, this...this is a Grammy," I pointed at the object and everyone laughed again, "Wow...Thank you...Thank you to everyone! Thank you to my fans, my family, my three best friends," I glanced towards the Latina, blonde, and red-head sitting in the seats nearest to the front row. They smiled widely. "Thank you to Ronnie for signing me! I even want to thank my kindergarten teacher who let me write my very first song when I was seven! Actually, I want to thank the whole world! Thank you everyone, even if I don't know you, I want to thank you! Just for...just for being here and watching me accept this award. I'm so honored. Thank you so much!" I think my voice cracked near the end. I got a loud applause and hugged the host one last time before walking back to my seat, shaking people's hands who offered me their congratulations.
Austin was first up to give me a hug when I got back to my seat. I embraced him tightly. "I didn't want to say it up there, but thank you," I whispered into his ear so only he could hear, "for getting me over my stage fright. You're the whole reason I was on the stage tonight and the only reason I got my award."
I felt him grin and he kissed my head lightly. My face flush before returning to my seat, unable to stop smiling.
. . . . . .
"I'm so proud of you!" Austin bellowed as he walked into the practice room. I was sitting at the piano. I wasn't writing songs or playing notes, I was just staring at the keys in amazement. I was four when I wanted to learn and five when I was able to actually play. I never imagined this day and I was thankful that it happened.
"Thank you," I grinned at him. He hugged me tightly, nearly picking me up from the ground. "I couldn't have done it without you." I told him.
He looked at me sincerely, "Yes you could have. With or without me, you would have over-come your stage fright. I know you."
And it hit me then, stealing the breath from my lungs. There was no one who knew me more than Austin. All of this time, I've been looking for somebody who knew me like the back of their hand and the boy I was looking for was standing right here the whole time.
"Ally?" he said, laughing slightly.
"Sorry. Still in shock." I said and he laughed, hugging me again. I was frozen for a moment before I hugged him back.
I realized two things tonight:
1) Dreams can become your reality
and 2) I was in love with Austin Moon.
I didn't proof read this, so ignore any grammatical errors, thank you!