"I was thinking maybe it could go like this," Ally said, letting her fingers roam piano keys. Austin nodded his head, though he was unable to take his eyes off of her. He wondered what state he was in when he'd ever let her go. For all he knows, he and Ally could've been together right now, heck, even engaged - Ok, he doesn't want to think about marriage right now, he's only nineteen.
"Yeah," he managed to strangle out passed the throbbing of his heart. Which seemed to be happening a lot. His heart palpitations only ever happened when Ally was around. He felt like he was seventeen again.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when Ally sang along to the melody, matching pitch with the piano, "If they wanna hate, let them hate / 'Cause it don't matter what they say / They don't know about us / They don't know about us / they don't know about us."
Ally's fingers stopped as did her voice, "How was that?" she turned to Austin suddenly. He quickly averted his eyes to the piano keys, pretending as if he wasn't just watching her.
"That was awesome," Austin said, cringing as he wondered if he said it too quickly. Ally didn't seem to notice, because she grinned and fixed the ring on her index finger before putting her hands back into position and finishing off the song.
They went through routine; writing, playing, adjusting, and then telling each other what how great the song they'd just written was. "We're almost done the album, aren't you excited?" Ally questioned, a light in her eyes.
"Totally excited!" No, because that means you're leaving, Austin thought to himself.
Ally frowned and cocked her head to the side, "Are you okay, Austin?" Austin's heart beat got faster to the point he started to feel dizzy. He looked at her and faked confusion as he nodded.
"Yeah, why? Are you?" he replied.
"I'm fine," she studied his face. "But you're...different. You seem, I don't know, uptight?" she guessed. He swallowed thickly and forced a grin.
"I'm not uptight," he tried to assure her, but his voice raised in pitch which was a clear indicator and that he was feeling very uptight.
"What happened?" she turned to him, guiding her full attention onto him. To be honest, this made Austin very nervous but he pulled through.
"Nothing happened, Ally," he pulled a chuckle from his vocal chords, hoping it would work and she would stop asking, but she knew him like the back of her hand. "I'm always like this when finished an album," he admitted, "I love making the music, the excitement. I'm happy that it gets done and it's successful, but it's always a shame to know that I won't be composing for a while."
"Lie." Ally deadpanned.
Austin let out a sigh, "Ally-"
"Don't Ally me! Tell me what's going on in that head of yours," she said to him, not letting her gaze slip from his once.
"It's the truth, Ally," he told her.
"Really, because you loved finishing albums before," she gave him a pointed look. He stared at her and couldn't find it in him to pass out a bitter remark about things changing because he knew that would only get him no where except into a new, uncomfortable conflict with Ally.
"It's the truth," he said again, "But it's this album that I don't want to stop writing." Austin's palms were beginning to sweat. Ally watched his face and saw the way he avoided looking at her, that was how she knew it was the truth. Austin wasn't big on talking about his feelings but when he did, he almost always avoided eye contact.
Ally had to ask: "Why is this album so hard to stop writing?"
Austin didn't reply for a moment, but then spoke up, "You know that I like writing with you...After this album is finished, you're going to go back to L.A. and get back to your own music...And this stuff will never happen again."
Ally felt her heart lurch. She worried about the exact same thing. "Well, I'll still see you. When I tour and come back to Miami or when we have to do interviews and promotions for our album. And we're friends again; we'll visit each other. Trish still visited me when I was in L.A."
"It's not the same, Ally," Austin's voice had a cold piece of thick ice in it. Ally didn't say anything.
When the silence was too much to hold onto, Ally said, "You're thinking too far ahead, Austin. We haven't even finished the album yet or recorded it. Then interviews, promotions, talk shows, photoshoots. We've still got time."
"I don't want us to have a time limit," Austin blurted before he could even think about what he'd said. There was a vast silence between the two musicians. Austin was about to apologize (he'd didn't know why though, because it was the truth) but then the Practice Room door swung open and there appeared Trish with two people, one held a camera and one held a recording device.
"Here she is," Trish said, grinning, absentminded to the tension in the room. "Ally, This is Kat. She wants to do an article on your Grammy win."
Ally didn't know why; the Grammy's had happened a month ago. She guessed it must have still been the talk of the media. Ally glanced over at Austin; their conversation wasn't over and she hated to leave an important conversation hanging, but she looked back to the interview and forced a smile. She nodded. "Yeah. Of course."
Austin was staring down at the piano keys when he felt Ally get up from the piano bench and follow the interviewer out of the Practice Room. He glanced over and saw Ally's book still sitting on the table. He studied her writing. He didn't know how she wrote so neatly.
"Oh, man," Trish suddenly said.
"Did you interrupt an important conversation? Check." Austin replied. Trish looked up from her hand and stared at the back of his blonde head.
"Actually I was talking about my nail - I just broke it," she said, "But I did what?!"
He shook his head, "Nothing." He felt so defeated. He wondered if the world hated him.
"No! What happened? What was the conversation? Did you tell her how you feel?" Trish bombarded his mind with questions. Austin shook his head.
"No, I didn't and I'm not telling you the conversation," he told her. Trish grabbed his earlobe and twisted it forwards. Austin gripped the piano for help as he screamed.
"Tell me," Trish growled.
"Ok, ok, ok!" he howled.
Trish smiled in satisfaction and released his ear. "Good."
He glared at Trish before twisting around on the piano bench and looking at her. "I admitted that I didn't want to finish the album because I wanted more time with her."
She rose a brow, "But you guys won't be finished for like another couple of months?"
"That's when she said!" Austin grunted before adding, "Speaking of time, I then ended up telling her that I didn't want us to have a time limit."
Trish couldn't help her grin as she laid her palm over her heart, "Aw!" she cooed.
Austin gave Trish a dead look. "No, it's not 'Aw!' because she didn't even reply! I think I freaked her out. We didn't even get to clear the air because you walked in with that stupid Kat girl."
"Sorry," Trish apologized, wanting to shrink under his stare.
Austin shook his head and sighed, "Don't worry about it. I think I just ruined our friendship."
"Maybe she felt the same way. Maybe she doesn't want you guys to have a time limit either," Trish told him comfortingly.
"Why can't things just be simple between us? For once?" Austin questioned, angrily and frustrated.
"Because life's not simple," Trish replied. Austin looked at her. Trish quickly said, "Ally told me that once."
"Figured." Austin said.
. . .
Ally was sitting in one of the beach chairs, discussing her Grammy with the interviewer. "I was very surprised at my win - I'm pretty sure my speech gave that much away," Ally said, grinning at the reporter but her smile felt fake. She couldn't get her mind off of her conversation with Austin.
"Alright, enough chit-chat about your Grammy. How is the album coming along? Are you two almost finished?" questioned Kat, the reporter.
Ally smirked, "I won't say."
Kat laughed in response but poked at it again, "Oh, come on, just a small detail. It doesn't even have to be much. Just a simple yes or no."
"I don't know, to be honest," Ally said, "We've written a lot of amazing songs that I'm quite proud of. But things happen to get in the way." Kat looked at her questioningly. Ally didn't want to mention her and Austin's conversations, or even her feelings towards Austin that are now getting in the way of them finishing the album.
"Any specifics?"
Ally was getting annoyed but forced herself not to show it, so she giggled instead. "No, I won't say any specifics. But I'm sure Austin and I should be finishing up soon. Then we'll get to the studio and get them recorded. The album will be released before you know it!"
"Thanks for talking with us, Ally!" Kat said. She shared a few more words before finally ending the interview. Ally felt like she could actually breathe again. Ally looked up at the sky and saw the clouds were getting dark. The wind caught in her hair and Ally sighed. She knew it was going to rain. She better get back to Trish's.
Ally felt something wet on her forehead. She swiped at it and realized it was rain. She looked up at the sky and saw no blue in it whatsoever. Just lumpy, dark clouds. She groaned and tried to walk faster.
It wasn't even a minute later that the rain got heavier and continued to get heavier until it was pouring. She was wearing nothing more than her typical tight-fitting dress with a small jean jacket over her shoulders. She began to shiver and tried her best to jog, but she then made the decision not to when she nearly slipped on the sidewalk. Ally's face contorted into a frown and she trudged her way through puddles as she accepted the fact that she was going to be soaked by the time she reached Trish's.
"Ally!"
Ally heard her name being called faintly. She glanced around before finally noticing a black car slow down and drive at her walk pace. She looked over and saw a window rolled down and inside the car sat a beckoning blonde boy.
"Ally!" Austin shouted, trying to keep his eyes on the road while on her as well. Ally didn't stop moving.
"Don't splash me!" she cried out to him, gesturing to her already soaked body. Austin let out a laugh and shook his head.
"I won't! Get in the car! You're going to get soaked, Ally!" he told her, straining his voice over the sound of the rain slapping the pavement.
"You're about 18 million raindrops too late!" she replied.
"Wait, do you want to walk in the rain?" he questioned, stepping down on the gas and going faster so he was leaving her behind.
"No, no, no, no!" Ally called, picking up her pace and running for his car. Austin laughed, stopping his car and popping the unlock button. Ally opened the door and tossed herself inside his car.
Ally looked down at herself and saw just how wet she was. She looked at Austin and in unison they laughed. He pressed down on the gas, lurching his vehicle into motion. They fell into a comfortable silence, only visited by the sound of the rain pattering on the roof and the swish of Austin's windshield wipers.
Austin glanced over to Ally and saw her shivering as she tugged down on her dress as if pulling it down would make her warmer. Though at the same time he reached for the heat, Ally had made the decision she would do it herself and their hands ended up colliding. Austin glanced at Ally while she glanced to him and they both retracted their hands. Ally swallowed hard. Austin looked at her again and carefully yet quickly turned the knob on his heat and the car got a little warmer.
Austin cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the awkward air. "How was the interview?"
"Same as most; boring," she replied. He pursed his lips and nodded. They fell into another silence. That was when Ally realized just how far Trish's house was from the beach. It would've taken her forever to walk there.
Although Ally's teeth chattering had stopped, Austin noticed she was still shivering and shaking. "Here," he mumbled, reaching behind him and pulling up a jacket. He gave it to her, "This might help."
Ally took the jacket, unbuckled her seatbelt and slipped into her jacket before buckling her belt again. It smelt of Austin's cologne which made her relax into it slightly. "Thanks," she murmured. He nodded.
"About earlier-"
"-It's fine, Austin," Ally interrupted, "You don't have to explain yourself. I know what you meant."
"Do you?" he quizzed, looking into her eyes before looking back at the road. Ally realized he was taking the long way to Trish's house. He wanted to talk. It was unusual of him to want to discuss matters such as this one, so Ally figured she'd let him get whatever he needed off his chest.
Ally chewed on her bottom lip, waiting for him to say something. "Are we going to talk about it then? Or just sit in silence?" she blurted.
He took a deep breath, letting the air reach the bottom of his lungs before releasing it. "Ally, I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" she scrunched her nose in confusion.
"Yes. I'm sorry. For everything that ever happened between us. I should have never met with that new songwriter or gotten mad at you for your comment. We shouldn't have had that huge fight. It was stupid and it wasn't worth ending our partnership or friendship - not even our relationship."
Ally's breath got stuck in her throat. Did he just mention...the thing? she thought to herself.
"I missed you a lot. I made it out like I hated you and I was mad at you - I was very mad at you, but I never hated you. Not even once. I couldn't and still can't look at you and ever say that I hate/hated you. Because I don't. You're the most important and best thing to ever happen to me." Ally hoped she didn't cry. "I wasn't the same when you left, I didn't like performing as much, I didn't care about composing music, I hardly ever ate pancakes and I stopped going in the Practice Room because it reminded me of you." he admitted.
"You stopped eating pancakes?" Ally gawked.
"I know," Austin gave her a look like he couldn't believe it either. Ally felt awful. He sacrificed pancakes because he was so upset! Austin took another breath, "I guess the only thing I was really angry at you for, was the fact that I was different when you left. I guess what I'm trying to get at is: I'll never be me without you. Ok? Never." Ally stared at him and couldn't get herself to look away. She just nodded. Austin didn't feel like she quite understood what he was saying, so he continued, "My mom told me when I was a kid that when you fall in love with someone, you become one whole together. You're two individuals that just become one. Like two halves of a heart, make a full one. You and I, Ally, we were two people in this world, and one day I walked into your Dad's music store, I had no idea that you and I would ever become one together."
Ally couldn't feel her heart beating anymore; she figured it stopped. Did he just tell her that he was in love with her?
Now that Austin had started, he couldn't stop. He shook his head, "And you can't tell me that you were the same after you went to L.A. without me. You were different, right? You didn't do the things that you used to. Or even if you did, you didn't feel like you were yourself, right?" Ally swallowed hard, staring at the dashboard. It was like he was reading her heart like it was the morning newspaper. "That's because you and I are meant to be together. I'm not talking about this friendship bull-crap, Ally. I don't believe in fate so maybe it was God who brought me to you. I don't know. But you're meant for me and I'm meant for you. And if you tell me that that's not true, then God so help me, I'll make you believe that it's true."
This boy could be an amazing writer if he just talked like this every day, Ally thought.
Austin was finished. He'd admitted his feelings to his ex-songwriter and now he had nothing left to say. He was gripping the wheel tightly, anticipating her reply but Ally kept her mouth shut. She didn't want to say. Austin's heart was beating erratically against his chest. He swore that she could hear it, too.
"You're not going to say anything?" he finally blurted when the silence was too much for him. Ally stared at her hands that were still shaking, although this time they weren't shaking because she was cold, they were shaking because she was nervous. Austin gulped. Did he just admit his feelings to someone who didn't feel the same way? Everything he was afraid to have happen, just happened. But he didn't regret it. He didn't regret one word he'd just told her. He took the risk and that was good enough for him.
"Did you know when I was fifteen and I wanted to be famous, I prayed that I would meet someone who could help me make it happen. Someone who could change my life forever. I got up the next day and I met you. That has to count for something." Austin said, his voice weakening into a sound of desperation. He was so desperate for her to say something back. Something like: "I feel the same way!"
And Ally did. She felt the exact same way. Though, she didn't say it. What he'd just told her in the last two or three minutes penetrated her heart in ways that are not imaginable to the human eye. Her heart was bursting with love for this blonde boy. She was the writer, she needed to say something but her mouth just wouldn't move. She knew how she felt and she knew that she could tell him, but for some odd reason, she just didn't know how.
Finally she got words in her head, not just any set of words...lyrics.
I wanna stay right here, in this passenger seat
You put your eyes on me,
*Take your chance, it's now*
Capture it, remember it.
"God, Ally, Just say something," Austin groaned, his knuckles white as his grip got even tighter. Ally was wondering if he was going to break the steering wheel. She felt her heart rate speed up and her throat felt like it was closing. "Anything. Tell me you feel the same or tell me you don't. I don't care which one; just say something."
Austin started babbling rapidly, telling her to speak up due to the fact that her silence was killing him. Ally stared at her, watching him talk. She felt her mouth twitch, like a smile wanted to curl onto her lips but she was still in so much shock about what he'd told her that her smile was second guessing itself.
I love you, too. Ally thought, before nodding her head and telling herself: Good. Now just say that out loud. "Austin."
"Ally, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out. I just need you to say some-"
"I love you."
"-thing. Anything. Just tell me-" That's when the wheels spun in Austin's head that she just told him she loved him. He looked at her quickly and then back to the road, to her, then to the road again.
"You...You what?" he questioned, laughing slightly out of disbelief. He was unable to realize what she'd just said. He was so busy trying to get her to say something so now that she did, he had no idea how to react. Where does this leave them? Are they together? Are they friends? Will this affect their songwriting? So many questions, such little time.
"You heard me," Ally widened her eyes. When did she grab the courage to spit something like that out?
"You do?" Austin responded, breathlessly. Ally nodded stiffly. She didn't know what to do. The only other man she told that she loved him and meant it was her Dad. "Ok."
Ally looked at him, arching her eye brows. OK?!
"Ok?" she guessed, "You've been begging me to respond and I did and all you have to say is 'OK'?"
Austin swallowed hard. "Yeah."
Ally then stared forward, feeling so small. This was awkward for the both of them. They were okay knowing they liked each other, but they both just admitted they loved each other in a more-than-a-friend kind of way and it was a hard thing to sink in. "Ok." she replied. Austin smiled crookedly, glancing over at her then back to the road.
They didn't say anything more. They didn't even clarify what was going to happen next. They were content with knowing that they loved each other. That was all they needed to feel at the peace to end the car ride.
Austin was parked in front of Trish's house and the rain had gotten lighter. Ally opened the door and breathed in the fresh smell of rain. She slipped over the seat and saw it was soaking wet. "Sorry," she murmured. She was about to shrug off his jacket.
"Keep it," he told her. She looked up at him and saw his small smile. She gave him a small smile before nodding. She closed the door gently and slowly walked towards Trish's house. She glanced over her shoulder at Austin before looking forward again and letting herself inside.
Austin sat there for a couple moments, taking time to breathe before he pressed on the gas and drove himself home. He couldn't believe he did that. He didn't even mind that he didn't know where this lead them. He was just happy that she knew how he felt. That was all he needed to be able to sleep at night.
Ally was on the other side of the door, standing there, back pressed up against it. She could faintly hear the rain outside and she smiled slightly. She learned two things today: 1) Austin Moon is in love with her, and, 2) she now loved the rain.
Ally looked forward and saw Trish wasn't home. Ally didn't even change out of her wet clothes when she grabbed a notepad and a pen, sat down at the kitchen table and jotted down her feeling so fast that the pen had a hard time keeping up.
There's something about the way
the street looks when it's just rained
there's a glow off the pavement,
you walk me to the car
and I want to ask you to dance right there
in the middle of the parking lot
yeah
we're driving down the road
I wonder if you know
I'm trying so hard
Not to get caught up now
But you're just so cool
Run your hands through your hair
Absentmindedly making me want you
And I don't know how it gets better than this,
You take my hand and drag me head first,
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
in a storm in my best dress
Fearless
So baby drive slow
Until we run out of road
In this one-horse town
I wanna stay right here
In this passenger seat
You put your eyes on me,
*Take your chance, it's now*
Capture it, Remember it
And I don't know how it gets better than this,
You take my hand and drag me head first,
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
in a storm in my best dress
Fearless
Well, you stood there with me in my doorway
My hands shake
I'm not usually this way but
You pull me in and I'm a little more brave
It's the first kiss,
it's flawless
Really something
It's fearless
'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this,
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
in a storm in my best dress
Fearless
'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this,
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
in a storm in my best dress
Fearless