After a while of gazing the graves, soaked through from the dense fog and freezing from the chilly air, Mira decided to leave. She had smoked half a pack of cigarettes, and now she would have to ration them until she went into town with Narcissa again. She stood, wiped her jeans off, and looked down at the tombstones it front of her.
"Well, see you later. I'll be back before school starts. I love you." And with that she turned and headed out of the graveyard.
The return to Malfoy Manor took much less time then it had to leave it, and Mira was sorry to leave the choking silence behind when she knew that Draco and Pansy had probably fucked in every room in the mansion by now. She entered through the front door, and as much as her head was fighting her not eating, her body was telling her it needed something more to survive on today then just a bottle of vodka and some cheap cigarettes. She laid her backpack in the entrance foyer against the wall, and went down to the basement kitchen. There were only four house elves the Malfoy family currently owned, and two of them were in the kitchen.
"Miss Mira," One of them said, bowing.
"Hi." She said back. "I'm just going to grab whatever's in the fridge…." She said, walking to the fridge.
The house elf nodded, then turned back to scrubbing pots in the sink. The other house elf stood at the oven, stirring a huge cauldron of stew.
"It is for Master Malfoy and Mistress Pansy's dinner." The house elf said, noticing Mira looking at him.
"And are they still here?"
The house elf shook his head, his great bat-like ears flapping with each movement. "Master said he was going to leave for a while. Master only told Knobby to cook the stew." Mira nodded, then turned her attention towards the fridge. She pulled out a sandwich wrapped in plastic. Her stomach gnawed viciously at her. She tore off the wrap and shoved half the sandwich in her mouth, grabbing a pint of milk from the fridge door before she slammed it shut.
"Well," She said, giving a great swallow, "Night."
The two house elves bowed to her.
"Will Mira be joining the others for dinner?" Knobby asked before Mira had reached the door.
Mira gave a hollow laugh. "Unless Knobby will poison Pansy's food and I'll be able to see her choke slowly and painfully to her death, I don't think so."
The elf smiled. "Would Mira like Knobby to bring her dinner later?"
Mira nodded gratefully. "Thanks, Knobby, that'd be wonderful. I've got some reading to do, bring it to the library, will you?"
Knobby nodded and bowed, and Mira left the kitchen, scarfing down the last half of the sandwich and downing it with the milk in a single gulp.
"Ahhh." She said, patting her stomach. She was glad that food could fill her where nobody else could. Food, just like the lack of food, was a temporary high for her, setting her free from the clutches of desire she constantly felt for Draco's love.
She could never actually answer to herself why Draco's love meant more than anything to her, but the fact that something she wanted so desperately was not hers, was worse then the starving, the smoking, and especially the cutting. Speaking of which, she thought, turning her course from the third floor library to her bedroom. She quietly shut the door behind her, and took off her jacket. She folded it on her bed, and turned towards her arm. The cut on her wrist was still bleeding, the entire square of gauze was soaked through. Mira sighed, and went to the bathroom.
"Nice one." She mumbled to herself, taking off the medical tape and throwing the gauze in the garbage bin. She reached into the cabinet with one hand, the other tightly held over the bleeding wound.
Mira heard movement downstairs, drifting up towards through the open bathroom door. She quickly grabbed the gauze pads and roll of medical tape and ran, as quietly as she could, up one more flight of stairs and down a long hallway. She shut herself in Lucius's library, and locked the door behind her.
The library was a spacious, airy room, large enough to fit three bedrooms in. The shelves were of the characteristic dark wood that ran through the entire Malfoy house, filled with cloth-bound books of every subject to do with magic imaginable.
Three round tables surrounded by high-backed leather chairs were in the middle of the large room, and a matching leather couch occupied the left side of the library, near the entrance. A large chandelier lit with candles hung from the ceiling, and over every one of the tables hung a low, oil-burning lantern. Large, square windows covered the entire right wall, leading all the way to the twelve-foot ceiling, letting in the weak sunlight.
Mira sat at one of the tables, and pulled a chair closer to it. "Damn, girl, nice job." Mira said aloud, lightly touching the pulsing, tender vein in her wrist. As she went to position the gauze over her wrist, the library door burst open and Draco came rushing in, slamming the door shut behind him, pulling out his wand, and tapping the handle.
The metal deadbolt of the lock gave a loud click, and Draco turned to Mira.
"Where in the hell have you been?" He demanded, his long, muscled legs allowing him to cross the room with quick, easy strides.
Mira ignored him, and ripped some of the medical tape off the roll. She taped one of the sides of the gauze to her arm, so that it was like a flap.
"Mira, answer me." Draco said, coming to stand in front of her.
"Draco," Mira said, annoyed, "Can't you see I'm busy? Why don't you go find something to do? I'm sure your Parkinson flower is waiting for you to pluck her." Mira didn't look up, but she knew that Draco's stare was on her.
"I'm sorry you had to-" Draco began, but stopped abruptly. He knelt down and grabbed Mira's arm. "What the fuck is this?" He said, turning over the gauze bandage so that Mira's sliced, scabbed, still-bleeding wrist was visible. He gasped in horror, and Mira looked into his eyes like she never had before, then almost looked away just as quickly when she saw what was there.
His eyes were contorted with grief, with despair and confusion. "Mira, no…." He whispered, looking up into her eyes.
So beautiful, so alone. His thoughts said to him, as he took in Mira's vibrant eyes, her complimentary white skin and midnight hair, that fell in soft tendrils around her cheek bones, framing her face.
Mira's heart fluttered. In Draco's face lay compassion, and in his eyes, love and concern. She shook her head, as her need for Draco reached surmounting levels.
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle the quitting, just one more time
then that's it
Just a little but more to get me through this.
She tried to pull her arm back, but Draco wouldn't release his grip. "No Mira, stop trying to be so ridiculously noble and strong. We're dealing with this right now, right here." Draco, who had stuffed his wand in the back pocket of his pants after locking the library door shut, now whipped it out. He held tightly onto her wrist, and after he squeezed it painfully she desisted trying to escape.
"I can't believe you went so deep, Mira, you might have bled to death! Tell me what could've made you hurt his bad?" Draco said, as a greenish liquid shot from his wand, onto the gauze he was holding in his hand.
"Maybe seeing you make love to my mortal enemy just did me in." Mira said with a shrug, tugging once more at her wrist.
"It's no good, I'm not letting you out of here until we deal with this, all of this." Mira knew Draco was talking about more then just cleaning her cut. He dabbed the pad of disinfectant on her wrist. Mira didn't flinch, though the pain of the cleaning rushed through her like knives.
Draco now tapped her wrist with his wand, and the gauze held itself down, the medical tape jumping from the table and firmly forming a bandage.
"Pansy is needed for further affairs, love. I assure you anything you think is real between us exists only in Pansy's frightfully stupid mind." Draco now stood, Vanished the gauze and tape, and sat on a chair, pulling it close to Mira, so their knees were touching.
"Mira, we need to talk."
Mira rolled her eyes. "Okay, Dr. Phil, lay it on me." She said sarcastically, pushing herself away from him and getting out of the chair. She was so not doing this.
Draco sighed. "If that's the way you want to do it, fine." He flicked his wand at her, and Mira felt herself being pushed to the ground by an inescapable force, then dragged back to her chair. Invisible hands pushed her back into the chair, holding her there, despite her flailing attempts to get away.
"Mira, ever since your parents…" Draco began, but trailed off.
Mira sat quietly, staring at him. Not that she had a choice, the force Draco was exerting upon her seemed to have, momentarily, clenched her lips shut.
"I love you, Mira, and I refuse to sit by and let you do this to yourself anymore." The blond boy said firmly.
He obviously was waiting for a response, as Mira felt the muscles around her mouth loosen. "You haven't had a problem with it so far. Now let me go, Draco. This is a fucking joke, and you know it."
Draco shook his head. "It's not funny and you're not getting out of this. Mira, since your parents' death-"
"My parents are dead, Draco, dead! They're lying in their fucking graves right now, they're never coming back!" Mira pushed with all her might against the invisible force being exerted from Draco's wand, and she finally overcame it.
"I'm never going to see them again Draco, so stop talking about them!" Draco stood up with her, in case she decided to run for it.
"Mira, calm down, there's no need to-"
"No need to what? To flip out? To lose my mind? Let's see," Mira said, holding up her hand, " I lose you to Pansy," She held out her thumb, "Then, I lose my parents because of fucking Dumbledore," she raised her index finger, "And now, I have to live here, with you, where the mere smell of you drives me to do this!" Mira held up her bandaged wrist, angry tears streaming down her face.
"Mira, you didn't lose me to anyone, let alone her!" Draco cried, walking over to her and forcing his arms around her.
Mira's senses went into drastic, desperate, clinging overload. Finally, she was being held in his arms, his strong, warm arms. His scent spread through her body, feeding her addiction of him and coursing through her veins like acid.
"Mira, please stop cutting. I can't take it." Draco said, looking down into Mira's face.
Mira didn't look up.