Chapter 12
Chloe couldn't really lie to herself and pretend that she hadn't been supremely nervous when she went to one of Lex's laboratory site in Lenexa, Kansas. She was nervous when she had approached a burly and menacing security guard and she was nervous when she went through the gauntlet that was the security system. It wasn't that she hadn't encountered these things before, but that her destination represented any number of things, from destruction to creation.
"It's the potential that scares you, Chloe. Specifically, your potential to destroy and hurt a lot of people."
Of all of the apparitions to appear before her, Lionel was the one that played on her insecurities the best. She nearly lost everything because of that choice in her life. His mocking voice, his smirk, his shaven head, his features that were harder made her remember all those destructive feelings that had gotten her through that time in her life; but she had put herself back together. Chloe had worked hard to see those feelings for what they were and continued to be. She was stronger now and she had to believe it.
The security guard walked in front of her and Lionel walked to her right. She heard him say words, but Chloe resolutely ignored him. She could tolerate random Errol Flynn Green Arrow and appearances by Zod and whatever else, but she wouldn't give in to Lionel.
Lionel jumped in front of her and loosed primal scream of fury into her face. Chloe stumbled through his ghostly form and into the guard, who didn't seem amused at all. In that moment, she wished that the guard could shorten their journey, but apparently, they would need more twists and turns.
"You are the best of us, Chloe, and I will not be ignored. Your fate is not your own."
The guard finally led her to a room and directed her inside. He closed the door and she was alone. There was no doubt that she was being monitored, but it wasn't like Lex could know the importance of what she was doing. Chloe saw a shard of kryptonite and touched it gently. Nothing prepared her for the searing pain and dizziness; but by some small divine favor, she was able to not react too strongly. It would look suspicious to Lex, but not overly so.
Chloe quickly let go of the kryptonite and looked around the room. She saw a mother crystal. In the light it was clear and you could perfectly see through it, but angle it just so and it refracted Earth's sun such that it became black. It was the opposite on Krypton. This crystal would accept programming and the energy source she would need to craft. On another shelf she found a series of pale green crystals and on another yellow. All told she left the room full of Krypton's relics and technology with fifteen crystals of varying size, shape, and color. They all had a purpose and she would put them to good use.
She left that Luthorcorp laboratory facility feeling gratitude. Breaking into it would've taken a toll on her and it was a step she hadn't wanted to take. It was still possible to find a way back to Lex. It wasn't probable, but sometimes, even the small, hope was enough to tilt the scales. Maybe it could be enough to offer the umbrella even if it would never fully shield him from the storm.
She was alone and Zod walked next to her. "If you could, Chloe, would you remake him?"
Chloe stopped in her tracks and looked down at the lone red crystal. "Could I remake him?"
"You know you can, Chloe, but are you willing?"
He stepped closer to her and she looked at that face she had once loved. She felt the back of his hand as he gently caressed her face. His hand trailed down her body to end on her hip. She stepped closer to him. Zod's voice lowered and it sounded deeper to her ears. His lips hovered over her ear and she heard Lex's voice. "Can you accept the consequences?"
Shaking her head, Chloe resumed walking. That was a question for another day and another time. She would answer it after everything else.
"You're right, Lex. There will be a reckoning." She smiled slightly.
Chloe drove to a small, isolated building on the outskirts of Metropolis. She had long since shaken her tails and felt it safe to go to her sanctuary. The place had been bought recently through a number of shady and back-door channels to avoid Oliver and Amanda Waller's long reach. It had been easier said than done, but the effort had been well worth it.
During the night she dreamed of Krypton.
Zor-El/Chloe stood on the observation deck of an orbiting mining ship. They were taking geological surveys. The southern tip of an eastern continent on Krypton had been experiencing larger than normal tidal waves and quakes. They couldn't do much more of their internal mining without irreparably harming their planet. Apparently, nobody believed the reports and everyone thought it was the normal part of their planet's life.
The footsteps that sounded behind him, made Zor-El turn slightly. He was tired, so tired. Zor-El wouldn't mind some rest. Just a day and he knew that he could be in balance again.
"Is the time now, Zod? Are you finally concerned?"
There was genuine uncertainty in Zod/Lex's voice. "This is the course of action that Brainiac has prescribed. He's a machine that orders events. Progress has been swift and steady."
Chloe turned and pressed Zod further. "Yes, but are you finally concerned, Zod?"
It was Zod's turn to face the view screens. "Yes, I am concerned. But this is Brainiac. He was crafted by the sons of the House of El. And he is giving us more than we could have imagined."
Zor-El realized that he could not have a conversation about Brainiac to Zod or to anyone else really. Well, the exception was Alura. He could tell her anything. The truth was that they had all benefited from Brainiac's perspective. Krypton was enriched, but there were always costs. He had already plotted a course of action. He just had to have the courage to see it to the end.
Lex walked away and lightly skimmed his hand across Chloe's shoulders.
"You know where to find me if you want my company."
And he was alone again on an observation deck watching Krypton tear itself apart.
"I can do this."
Zor-El had nothing if he didn't believe and deep down, he didn't.
A pattern of life had been established so that she could build the computer that would help her save the world. She had physical therapy, she ate with Lois, she talked with Clark, she made dates with Oliver, and she bonded with her father. This had been the normal pace of her life before the car wreck that changed everything for her. Her father continued to ping every red alert possible in her head, but there was no real course of action for her to take. Chloe got the feeling that he felt the same about her. Deep down inside, Chloe knew that she could repair things with her father. It would just take time. She would make time bend to her if she had to, but her father would never be a casualty of hers.
"I'll fix this for both of us, dad. I just need time."
It took her longer than she wanted, but she finally got Watchtower 2.0 finished. As soon as Chloe could, she wired herself into the interface. It was more primitive than a true Kryptonian interface, but it was the best she could do with the time constraints. With more time, a few more resources, and her custom fabricating a few parts, this had the potential to be better than what Kryptonians had built before the collapse of their innovation.
Chloe expected any number of things to happen. What she had not expected was an overload to a body that had not been properly prepared. Her body suddenly cramped and seized. Her body tensed again and she was forced back into her seat. The pain was intense. For a moment, the pain had receded to a dull ache, but then it flared anew with a vengeance that left her breathless. She opened her mouth to scream, but found that she was unable. She couldn't breathe.
Chloe's blood felt like it was on fire. Her heart beat frantically and the burning sensation migrated to all parts of her. She gave one final convulsion and vomited on the controls in front of her. The rigor that had gripped her body finally eased enough so that Chloe barely had time to hard remove the jack before she collapsed onto the floor in her own vomit. Distantly, Chloe realized that something monumental had happened to her. Then she lost consciousness.
She didn't know how long she had been out, but Chloe regained consciousness to the soft voice of a person she hadn't heard in a long time. A voice that she would never stop hoping for and loving. The form was blurred, but there was a familiar outline. There was still strength and love there. It was salvation.
"Jor-El."
Her eyes were finally able to focus and she saw Jor-El gave him the wry smile that Zor-El had been missing. Jor-El crouched down and gently placed his large hand onto her back. This man, her younger brother, her friend's father, a brilliant man, a crazy artificial intelligence, a pale shadow, a displaced spirit, an egomaniac, was so much like Clark that it ached. In the moments when they were just brothers and rivalry and jealousy-laced love had taken a back seat, they were the best kind of people to each other. They were brothers who would, who had, who could do anything for each other in moments of strength and vulnerability. Who would always hold and abiding love for each other that could even lessen the dark memories.
"What have you done to yourself, elder brother?"
Chloe thought about moving but her body was not quite ready to cooperate. She would need to reside in her vomit for a few moments longer.
Thankfully, her voice could cooperate. "It's been so long, brother. I am so sorry."
Jor-El caressed Chloe's hair. "We are all sorry for many things, Zor-El."
Chloe finally felt confident enough to move into a sitting position, supported by the chair behind her. "Why are you here now, Jor-El?"
Jor-El pulled a short file cabinet closer to his body and draped an arm over the top of it. He was the very model of casualness and Chloe snorted at the image. This was her brother after all and this is what he did.
"Because you need me, Chloe. We have always needed each other. To fight against. To rail against. To give each other balance. You need that now, brother."
"This is the worst. Just the worst. Talking to a dead brother, a dead wife, a missing daughter, it is the worst because you aren't real! You are figments of a brain injury I sustained weeks ago because of something else I did!"
Chloe was tired, so very tired of the fear, the uncertainty, and crushing weight of a burden that should never have been real but was impacting all aspects of her life. She saw pity in her brother's eyes as he rested a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly.
"You're right, of course, Chloe. We are all dead men, but we have a purpose here. You know that purpose. You are fulfilling it and it is changing you as it changed you before, Zor-El. Understand it this time. This is the lesson, Zor-El. It has always been the lesson. You are the best of us, Chloe. The very best."
She bowed her head in defeat. Destiny was the cold press of weights on your shoulder, it was endless sun that gave you no rest, and it was enduring hope that longed to come to fruition. It was a curse.
Her voice was only a whisper. "How? How can I do this? I hurt so many people last time," Chloe's voice faltered, "I failed Krypton. I wasn't enough. I am not the best of us."
Jor-El placed his other hand on her should and the action forced her to look at him. This was the man Zor-El had always wanted Jor-El to be. A wise man. A strong man. A man who had been aged by mistakes, but rejuvenated by the process of correcting them. He was intense and the grip on her shoulders tightened painfully. This was the second time he had ever seen this look on Jor-El's face. It scared her.
"You will know the time when it shakes you, brother, and it will shake you. It will tremble the Earth as it trembled Krypton and you cannot let that happen. You must be patient this time. You must accept our better angels this time. You must trust yourself this time. You must not hesitate as you hesitated before, Zor-El. I swear it, brother, this time you can save the planet."
Jor-El moved his hand from her shoulders and enveloped her in a hug, her head now resting on his broad shoulder. "If this is not real, how can I feel him so clearly?" She remembered doing this for him many times in their youth and occasionally as adults. He was the older son and it was his burden to carry; but when Jor-El had been at his best, he had lifted the load too.
Eventually, Chloe no longer felt Jor-El. Once more she bowed her head, but this time she allowed her emotions to overwhelm her and she cried. Chloe felt the chair behind her and she knew the modifications she would need to make to the technology before she resumed her activities. There was time enough for all of that, but she needed this emotional catharsis. She needed her father. Maybe tonight she could put her brain on hold and just feel this way.
She stood up and left that office in that little office building. Chloe was going home because she needed to find balance and resolve. Chloe truly believe that she could do it, but she just needed a moment to be overwhelmed.
"I can do this."