"… yes this of course is the iPhone4s, Yes of course Lady Catherine has the latest generation, but of course she decided - unsurprisingly given her altruistic, ever condescending nature – to give me her this one when she was finished with it. Now don't get me wrong, I of course could have afforded to purchase my own iPhone, given my more than satisfactory pay check as Lady Catherine's PA. However I did feel that it would be quite an honour to use the same phone which has, I have no doubt, carried many highly important phone calls and text messages. Lady Catherine is of course, up to date with the latest technologies, that is, of course very important for a woman of her status, yes I was even on her recommendation that I purchase a MacBook Pro. While this may, to you seem rather expensive and unattainable, my position as PA to Lady Catherine, of course, grants me to be able to think little of such expenses. You may sometime, if you wish, try to use it Elizabeth"
Lizzy blanched visibly. This man, Colin, had been rambling about God knows what for at least fifteen minutes without pause. Lizzy had long stopped listened but the use of her full name caught her attention immediately.
Only one other person called her that and when that person said it, it incited weird inexplicable reactions in her body, like goose bumps. When this man used it on the other hand, dragging out the "Eeeeeeeeee" and spitting on the "th", the only reaction it evoked was her gag reflex.
"How generous" she replied, forcing her face into a false smile. She neglected to mention that her father had in fact, gifted her with a MacBook Pro just weeks ago when she graduated with straight A's. "Please, call me Lizzy. Please"
"Oh yes, it is better for me to address you on a more intimate level" he glanced at her suggestively before placing a hand on her knee.
"I'm going to get a drink!" she jumped up off the couch they were sharing and all but ran to the kitchen.
Pouring herself a glass of cold water she leaned against the countertop and placed the glass against her forehead in an attempt to cool off and forget about the vile man in her living room.
She and Jane had arrived home from Netherfield to find the promised Colin Collins. He was short, scrawny, and always sweaty and greasy. He had "of course" initially been all over poor Jane, though their mother had been quick in assuring him that Jane was about to be "snatched up" but Lizzy on the other hand was "perpetually single".
Lizzy had barely a moment to roll her eyes and appreciate her mother's correct use or "perpetually" before she was assaulted by the attentions of Colin Collins.
She shuddered at the thought. The man made her wish she was back playing hide-and-seek at Netherfield. She grinned to herself. That is how she had come to think of her last day and night with the Bingleys and Darcy. Charlie and Jane constantly seeking each other out, Darcy avoiding Caroline (and herself too she suspected), Caroline trying to follow Darcy around, and Lizzy hiding from everyone.
Yes, she though resignedly, anything was better than the horrible boy she had just walked away from.
Her thoughts were interrupted by her giggling youngest sisters; Lydia and Kitty entering the room.
"Sooooooo"Kitty began
"How are things with Colin" Lydia finished and they both erupted in laughter at Lizzy expense.
"guess." She replied, grimacing.
"Why is he even here anyway?" Lydia huffed "has he never heard of a hotel? Or better yet, why didn't he just stay in merry old England with that broad he's in love with!" more giggles.
"He came back to America specifically to visit Dad" Mary answered, having silently entered the room. "He says he owes Dad a debt of gratitude for giving him his first PA job, he feels that without Dad's recommendation he wouldn't have gotten his current job"
"That's just stupid" Lydia replied bluntly. Mary rolled her eyes.
"It's admirable" she snapped.
"He's an idiot"
"He's nice!" Mary was growing red, Lizzy was about to rescue her when Kitty inadvertently did just that.
"So who's the Lady he's harping on about?" she wondered aloud. "He's talked about her no stop but I still have no idea.
"She's his boss, clearly" Lizzy began "I gather she is extremely wealthy, as in married to a Lord wealthy, coming from a very old family and inheriting a tonne of money. She doesn't work – she's a "socialite" and one of the very few left in England who are pretentious enough to demand to be called 'Lady'" Lizzy rolled her eyes. "not that I'm judging but-"
Her rant was cut off by a squeal from Lydia.
"Ohmygodohmygodohmygoooooooood" she cried "you are NOT going to belieeeeeeve this!"
"What?" all three sisters demanded,
"Shandra just text me that Ana rang her to tell her that Clara told her that there is a ROCK BAND moving to town! They're called 'The regimentals' and apparently totally cute!"
Her phoned beeped again.
"Arrrrgh!" she cried "they're playing at the mall right know! We HAVE to go! Come on! Pleeeeeeeeeeeease!" she begged.
"What is all this squealing?" the rather crooked nose of Collins appeared around the door "I must say it's rather undignified. Lady Catherine always says, and I of course agree wholeheartedly, that young ladies such as yourself should be seen not head, I really feel-"
"Colin!" Lydia cried dramatically putting her hand to his mouth "stop right there! We are taking yo to a concert!"
"Hmmmm, what sort of music?" he asked suspiciously.
"Classical" she replied solemnly "of course" barely concealing her wicked grin.
"Lizzy" he turned to her, bile began to rise in her throat are you going?"
She nodded before dashing out of the room to drag Jane along for moral support.
The party travelled to Meryton Mall in two cars, driven by Jane and Colin. Once at the Mall Mary quickly detached herself from the group while Colin practically glued himself to Lizzy's side.
Hearing no music or seeing no crowds in the main entrance where such impromptu concerts usually took place, they assumed they had missed 'The regimentals'. Lydia however, was undeterred.
"There!" she all but shouted, pointing dramatically at a small group of young girls, surrounding four tall boys, probably in their late teens.
She elbowed her way through the unsuspecting girls, followed eagerly by Kitty and warily by her older sisters.
"Hi there" she batted her eyelids "Lydia Bennet"
The tallest boy turned to her immediately and grinned.
"George Wickham" he replied smoothly "these are Denny, Michaels, and Ray" he waved at the guys in question who were otherwise occupied "and who are the rest of you?" he inquired turning to the rest of their group.
"These are my sisters" Lydia put in, trying to keep his attention "Jane, Kitty and Lizzy. This is our errr… friend Colin" she finished.
"well it's lovely to meet you all" he focused on Lizzy in particular.
"You're British." She stated, more so than asked. He laughed easily.
"Yes" he replied "the accent is pretty unmistakable."
Lydia captured his attention once again, leaving Lizzy to her thoughts. She ran her eyes over George Wickham. He was indeed "cute", blond haired, blue eyes, pretty tall and well built, not so much as Darcy, actually he's the exact opposite of Darcy – whoa, bad line of thought. Actually, what was with all the Brits Lately? She wondered. There was Colin, this great Lady Catherine, Darcy and of course –
"Charles" Jane breathed beside her. Lizzy jumped. Had she spoken out loud? Following Janes gaze she realised that the boy in question was actually there, making his way over. Darcy in tow.
They reached the group and Charles went straight to Jane's side. Lizzy grinned; that boy was head over heels already.
"Elizabeth" came a voice from behind her, one that she had come to know all too well. She turned slowly, wondering what mood this confusing boy would be in today.
"Fitzwilliam" she replied guardedly.
"How are you?" he asked almost hesitantly. He seemed sincere.
"I'm good" Lizzy smiled and he visibly relaxed.
"So what brings you here today?"
"oh" Lizzy laughed a little awkwardly "Lydia wanted to meet…" she gestured towards her younger sisters and the other boys behind her.
Darcy followed the direction of her gesture. The effects were immediate.
He straightened up, becoming taller and more intimidating than Lizzy would have thought possible. However the thing the truly caught her attention was the look of pure, unadulterated hatred etched in every crevice of his lovely face.
She followed his gaze to see Wickham shrinking away from the glare. He nodded. Darcy turned and stormed away, Bingley hurrying after him.
What the actual Fu-