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Dear readers,

Sorry it took me a few days longer than usual. Classes are picking up, so it'll probably be a few days in between posts. And sorry if it's not up to par. I wanted to get it posted for y'all, so I kinda rushed the end. Thanks for staying with me and reviewing! And again, I'm not a B/J shipper, though I do like Jacob more.

Sincerely,

Rusty Myers

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~Chapter Four~

When I finally came back downstairs, Jacob was gone. I was pretty sure he'd taken great care in making the Cullen's stay as uncomfortable as possible. His scent was particularly strong and nearly impossible to escape.

I smiled. I don't know how I'd go on without Jake. Since the day I went to him with my broken motorcycle, he's been my best friend. I'm fairly certain that he kept every piece of my heart he helped put back together in those lonely months.

He was right though. I really shouldn't be helping them. It would only make it harder to push the memories back again when they left. And it wasn't fair to Jacob after all he'd done for me.

"Is something bothering you?"

His voice didn't surprise me, though I'd been too deep in thought to notice his return. I assumed he'd either heard our conversation or fished it out of Jacob's thoughts before he took off.

"It's nothing," I replied, attempting to walk off and ignore him.

As I assumed he would, Edward followed me. He didn't say anything again until I stopped and leaned against the porch railing outside. As much as I was used to Jacob's scent by now, I simply couldn't take it's constant reminder of his presence and what I had and was still doing to him.

I sighed loudly and stared out into the dark countryside. It wasn't quite dawn, but I could smell the signs of the coming sunrise. Edward stood with his back against the railing, watching me for a while.

"Jacob doesn't want us to stay here," he said pointedly.

"He'll stay out of the way while you're here."

"Are you sure this is alright?" he questioned. I could feel his eyes on me, preparing to analyze my response. "We may be able to outrun Victoria."

"That's ridiculous," I replied emotionlessly. "You can stay here until Victoria's gone. I have plenty of room."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked bluntly.

I was expecting a lot more casual conversation before the topic of my departure was broached, but I suppose it didn't matter either way. If we were to be living together it was probably necessary that they all knew. And they'd likely figure it out anyway with my random visitors and trips to Volterra.

"Aro did it," I stated brusquely.

I hadn't ever thought it possible to surprise Edward Cullen, but that moment proved me wrong. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped a tiny bit. Aro. Carlisle's old friend and companion. Aro. The man who had always been fond of all the Cullens and even tried to convince both he and Alice to join him.

I ignored the urge to smile in self satisfaction and continued. "I'm not sure any of you realize how much he wanted you and Alice on his side. Or how much he wanted to see what would become of my ability once I became a one of you."

I thought he would interrupt me, but he simply stared at me contemplatively, his mind racing.

"After we came back," I felt my mind flinch as I dragged these long forgotten memories out. Edward's expression became concerned and he reached out to comfort me. I turned away from him and continued. "Things weren't the same anymore. You were so distant, always incredibly cautious around me.

"About two months after we returned from Italy, I received a letter from Aro. You were out hunting with Emmett and Jasper, but you'd left Alice in charge of me. I took the letter over to Jacob's, knowing it was the only place I was free to consider my response."

I heard him growl softly in disapproval.

"It was then I realized just how much Aro wanted any of us on his side. And what lengths he would go to get what he wanted. He told me the Volturi were planning to visit Forks and convince you to join their ranks. But he also told me something else." I paused, the remembrance of those human memories taking its toll on me. "He gave me a way to save you. If I would agree to join the Volturi in Italy, and in so doing become one of you, they would leave the Cullens in peace. Forever."

Edward stared at me, shocked into silence.

"I knew Alice would see my plans as soon as I left Jacob's. I convinced him to come with me. We went back to my house, grabbed my things and caught the first plane to Italy. Of course, Jake spent the entire time trying to convince me to change my mind and go back to Forks. But that just wasn't an option.

"They weren't very thrilled that I'd brought a werewolf along with me, but once I explained to them the necessity they agreed. I never actually expected Jacob to stay with me, but it seemed like the best idea."

"I'll bet he was more than thrilled at the arrangement," Edward scoffed.

I glared at him. "Jacob's done more for me than anyone else in this world! Don't you dare insult him!"

He turned away, surprised and a bit hurt. "So you just did it then? Became a vampire and forgot all about your past?"

"I had to!" I defended angrily. "Do you think Aro would let me go back and visit you? That was the deal! In exchange for your safety, I gave up my soul!"

He smirked bitterly. "Now you believe me."

"I didn't say I lost my soul, Edward. I gave it up."

We were both silent for a while. Try as I might I couldn't relinquish the ever growing fear that this might completely break all my resolve.

"I had to give you up for good," I said finally. "I couldn't see you again."

"But why?" he blurted out suddenly, uncharacteristically.

I looked at him incredulously. "Because I loved you! Because it was the only way to keep you safe from the Volturi! After all you gave me, it was the one thing I could do for you!"

"We could've fought them!"

"No! There's more to the Volturi then you know, Edward! You wouldn't have stood a chance! I've seen what they can do! I know now! They would have killed you unless you joined them!"

"So, you joined them and now you help them do those awful things? All that time, all those emotions. You just threw them away when you became a Volturi," Edward said dismally. "You're not the girl I thought you were."

"Don't judge me, Edward! You have no idea what I've been through!"

"Then let me help you! We can talk to Aro! I'm sure Carlisle can-"

"Don't be so naïve," I chided. "You know as well as I do that wouldn't work. This is my life now. I've accepted it. The past is behind me now. None of it matters now anyway. Unlike you, I chose to go on living when I lost you."

"Bella-"

"Just stop, Edward. It's been too long. We can't relive the past."

I took one last look at the horizon where the sun was just beginning to peak over the trees. As I turned to walk back into the house, I saw the dim sparkle on his pale face and left even faster to avoid anymore memories.

I passed Alice on my way upstairs. She looked as if she wanted to stop me, but the violent warning in my deep black eyes made her think twice.

Maybe now they would understand. I wasn't the same Bella they used to know. I'd witnessed a dark, violent side of this world that I never knew existed. I'd worked side by side with Jane and watched her render innocent humans and vampires unconscious. These past ten years had changed me, though for better or worse I myself wasn't even sure. Who were they to judge me when it was for their safety and protection that I did all this in the first place?

My hand was on my cell before it finished its first ring.

"Hello?"

"Aro needs to see you. Recent events have come to his attention and he requests your presence."

"I'm leaving now."

The dial tone ended the call.