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Dear readers,
Thanks for those of you still with me! Again, sorry it took me so long last time! I can't guarantee any time frame, but I hope it'll start being sooner rather than later! Again, I didn't really give Bella a new power. I just changed it a tiny little bit. Thanks for all the reviews and adds! Y'all rock!
Sincerely,
Rusty Myers
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~Chapter Seven~
Jacob came up behind me, not speaking for a few seconds.
"Aro…he's the one who can read my mind."
"By touching you, yes."
"I'm sorry, Bella! I didn't know this would happen! I was only trying to protect you! I thought…! And now they know! Bella, I-"
"It's alright Jake," I said nonchalantly. "He doesn't know."
"What? How"
I hesitated, not sure how much was safe to reveal to Jacob. If Aro ever got him alone… Or if Edward… But this was Jacob, after all. I couldn't keep this from him-the reason the Volturi wanted me.
"You remember me telling you that certain vampires carry on certain human attributes with them when they become a vampire? Like Aro or Alice or…Edward." He nodded. "The reason the Volturi wanted me to join them all those years ago is because Caius believed I would have a great power."
"Do you?" Jacob asked incredulously.
"Yes. Even more than any of them know."
He waited anxiously for me to continue.
"When I was human, I was the only person unaffected by Edward's power. That ability also applies to Aro, Jane, and any other power involving or requiring physical contact. When I was changed, I brought that with me. If I concentrate enough, I can also protect anyone around me simply by physically touching them."
Jacob's eyes widened. "If you're immune to them, why don't you fight them?"
"It's only those abilities involving physical contact that I'm impervious to. Caius knows this. I believe there are members of the Volturi even I don't know about. Because of the circumstances concerning my induction, the Volturi do not truly trust me."
I smiled to myself before continuing. "And they have good reason. What I just told you is not the limit of my power, only as much as Caius and the Volturi know of it. With enough concentration, I can focus my power on others without touching them, creating a force field of sorts. But in using my power to protect others, I lose the ability to protect myself."
"So…back there, with Aro…you were using your power to shield me from his power?"
"Yes. I'm also training myself to see if I'm able to actually block someone's power altogether, making it a barrier against them."
Jacob frowned, guessing my intentions without help. "Let me guess. You plan on using Edward for practice."
I turned away from him, staring out across the horizon at the fading sunlight.
"Yes."
"Bella, do you realize what's going to happen if you do?" he cried. "If you keep them around, you're going to end up right back where you started!"
"The Volturi are up to something, Jake. Something big, something bad. I don't know what it is, but I intend to find out, for the good of vampires and humans. And if that means I have to sacrifice all I've gained these past years, then fine!"
"Listen to yourself! You've finally put them behind you and now you want to just invite them into your house and use them just like the Volturi used you!"
I started. I had never thought of it that way before.
"Is…is that really what I'm doing?"
Jacob grabbed my shoulder and spun me around, forcing me to look at him. "You'll let them stay, feign friendship all the while using them for some experiment, and then leave them. Bella, that's exactly what you're doing."
I pulled away from him angrily. "No! I'm helping them out of common courtesy. They're only staying as long as is necessary to return home safely. There will be no rekindling of friendships! Edward won't even know."
"So you're not going to tell him about your little test?"
"No."
"And you think that if he suddenly finds his world a whole lot quieter, he won't notice?"
I didn't reply, just glared bitterly at Jacob.
"As much as I hate to admit it, the bloodsucker's not an idiot."
"What do you want Jacob? Should I send them away and off to Victoria? Should I have told the Volturi about them? Do I let the Volturi go on with whatever they're doing? This is big, Jake! Whatever is going on, it's not just an attempt to keep the balance! Should I just stand by and wait while I'm part of this organization of extremely powerful vampires whose ranks are growing at an alarming rate?"
Jacob sighed and stepped closer to me, gripping my shoulders. "Bella, why don't you tell them."
"What?"
"Tell the Cullens about your suspicions-"
"They're not suspicions!"
"Tell them, Bella! If you use them you're not any better than the Volturi!"
"I…I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I'm afraid!" I shouted suddenly. "I don't know what's going on in my head! All of these memories…they keep coming back! There's so many of them! I can't focus on anything anymore! I wasn't able to feed because the deer got away! Away! From me! The fastest, most deadly predator on the planet!"
Jacob's arms left my shoulders and wrapped around me, pulling me closer. "Bella…"
We stood there for a long time, Jacob just holding me. The sun set and everything around us was dark. Still, Jacob just held me. If I'd been able to cry, his shirt would've been stained with tears.
Finally I looked up at him.
"We should go back."
"Are you sure you're ready to?"
I nodded, pulling away from him. "Thanks Jake."
"Sure, sure."
"Promise me you won't think about this anymore? At least not while Edward's around. He can't know." Jacob frowned down at me. "Please, Jake! Just trust me! None of them can know!"
"Alright, alright, I won't say anything. But you have to promise me something?"
"Anything, Jake," I said with a smile.
"Don't do anything reckless or stupid."
There it was again. After ten years of repressing it, that terrible hole in my chest ripped open just like it'd been there all along. Somehow it didn't startle me. Maybe I'd known it was coming all along, as soon as Alice showed up at my door. Or maybe it'd never closed to begin with.
***
"Go away, Alice!" I shouted before she'd even reached the top of the stairs.
She ignored me and continued, arriving in the doorway in seconds. "What are you talking about, Edward? I just want to chat with you!"
She plopped down beside me on the couch where, up until now, I'd been reading. I groaned.
"Because I know what you want to "chat" about."
"It's not my fault you can read my mind," she argued cheerfully. "But that doesn't mean you get to avoid unwanted conversations!"
"Alice, please," I implored. "Not now."
"You can't keep running away from your problems. Especially when you're currently living with them."
"But that doesn't mean I want to talk about them with you."
"Ouch, Edward, that hurt," she joked sarcastically, bringing a fleeting smile to my face.
"Alice, I really wish you would just drop this. If Bella knew we were even discussing this, she'd probably-"
"Bella wouldn't throw us out!" Alice interrupted. "Especially not you!"
"Stop it, Alice!" I glowered at her, but she was unmoved.
"I just don't understand it, Edward. What are you waiting for?"
"I'm not waiting for anything. This is her life now, and she's happy. I have no right to come along and mess everything up for her."
"Do you really believe that? That she's happy?"
"She has Jacob."
"You didn't answer my question."
"It doesn't matter! I have no right-"
"Stop saying that!" Alice chided. "Love isn't about rights."
"Than what is it about?" I demanded, raising my voice angrily.
"It's not about anything. It's not some equation or function that can be defined in words. You know that. Or at least…" She paused for a few human seconds. "…you used to. Look at you, Edward. You haven't been happy a day since she left. And now fate's brought you together again!"
"Fate," I scoffed. "Fate is what killed her, turned her into a monster like me. Fate's been trying to take her away from me since the first time I laid eyes on her. And now it's finally succeeded. I can't fight fate any longer."
I stood up suddenly and left the room, not wanting to drag this conversation out any longer.