"Night Kensi, Deeks" the two senior agents called out as they left for the evening.

"Night guys" Kensi called back.

"Yeah, night" Deeks added in, as he walked over and sat on the edge of Kensi's desk, waiting for her to finish the last bit of her report.

"Yes Deeks?" Kensi asked looking up at him.

"I'm your ride home remember" he grinned.

"Right" Kensi said bluntly. It had been a long day for her, stuck inside her head. Thinking about the events of the past few weeks. She couldn't help but think what she had done to deserve the things she had to deal with in her life. And why she had been so blind that she couldn't see that Aaron didn't love her at all, he was just abusive, and she just stood by and took it all. Where had the real Kensi gone, she would never sit back and take a beating. For a third time in her life she was lost.

"Kensi?" Deeks said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Sorry what?"

"I asked you what you wanted to do tonight"

"I don't know Deeks, I… I think I just need to be alone for a bit" she replied, unsure if it was what she really wanted. But that was what she did, when things got too hard, she would push people away. That was just… Kensi.

"Are you sure Kens?"

"I don't know, I don't know where my head is at right now. My life falling apart. I… I don't know who I am anymore Deeks. The person I see when I look in the mirror, that's not me, that's not the person I want to be" Kensi confessed unexpectedly.

"I know who you are, you're Bad Ass Blye" Deeks joked, trying to make her feel better.

"But I'm not am I, I couldn't defend myself" she told him, disappointment clear in her voice.

"I know Kens" Deeks replied as he put a hand on her shoulder, gently rubbing it with his thumb. "Let me take you home okay"

"Yeah okay" Kensi said, grabbing her coat and bag.

The drive to Kensi's was silent. Kensi felt slightly embarrassed for blurting out what she was feeling to Deeks like she did. He could see in her eyes that she was struggling with her emotions and thoughts and decided it best not to push her.

As they pulled up to Kensi's apartment, she was hesitant to leave the car, which didn't go unnoticed by Deeks. "Kensi? You okay?" Deeks whispered.

She looked across at Deeks, a strange look in her eye, a look of pain and torment. A look he had seen once before, when she was trying to find her father's killer. He could see that she was worried, and he was too.

"Deeks… I… I changed my mind, I don't want to be alone"

"Sure Kens, tell you what, we'll go to my place, feed Monty and I can grab some clothes, we'll get some take out and come back here sound good?"

"Yeah… thank you Deeks" she whispered as she looked deep into his ocean blue eyes, searching for reassurance that everything was going to be ok.

"No worries, I might even let you watch Top Model" Deeks laughed.

After a quick trip to Deeks apartment for some clothes and to feed Monty who he then left with his elderly widowed neighbour who was more than happy to have some company, they made their way to get take out. Kensi had decided on burgers, and Deeks was happy to let her have anything she wanted. All he wanted was to see her smile again, to have his Kensi back.

When they pulled up at Kensi's apartment, Deeks saw a dark SUV parked across the road. "Stay in the car Kensi, don't get out okay" Deeks told her as he climbed out of the car. He walked toward the vehicle, ready to rip this guy a new one for coming back here when he was given a clear message to stay away. As Deeks neared the car, Beaumont lowered the window. Before Deeks could react, he had a gun pointed at his chest.

"Kensi!" Deeks yelled out as he dove for cover at the front of the vehicle. Beaumont got out of the SUV, forcing Deeks up against the bonnet as he pushed the barrel of the gun hard against the side of his head. "You ready to die hero!?" Beaumont spat.

Deeks swallowed hard. This was gonna be the end, this was how he was going to die. All he could think was how he wished he had told Kensi that their thing is real, and that all he wants is to be with her. At least he would go out protecting the woman he loved.

In the seconds that followed all that could be heard was a loud gunshot, Deeks eyes were shut tight. When he realised that there was no searing pain anywhere on his body, he opened his eyes in time to see Beaumont fall to the ground, clutching his chest. Deeks looked over to the side to see Kensi, standing in the middle of the road, her gun held tight, her hand shaking.

Neighbours had now rushed out of their homes to see what was going on. Deeks yelled to someone to call an ambulance. But instead of applying pressure to Beaumont's wound, he rushed to Kensi's side, as she crumpled to a heap on the ground, tears rolling down her face. For all he cared Beaumont could lay there and bleed to death, but because Deeks was a good person, he asked someone else to put pressure on the gunshot wound.

No sooner had Deeks moved Kensi to the foot path, the ambulance and police arrived on the scene. The ambulance quickly took Beaumont away and the police stayed behind, questioning witnesses, but no one except Kensi and Deeks had actually seen what went down. Fortunately the officer questioning them was a buddy of Deeks, one of the very few at LAPD he got along with. He was understanding of the situation when he was told about the events of the past few weeks, the last two days in particular.

When Deeks took Kensi inside, she was still in shock. Sure she had shot bad guys before, but not someone she had been involved with. And the fact that he had a gun to Deeks head made the situation so much worse. If she hadn't have acted as quick as she did, she could've lost her partner in a matter of seconds and that scared the hell out of her.

Although Deeks had come so close to death, he was more worried about Kensi. He could see the tortured look in her eye, the pain she thought she was hiding. He could see right through any façade she constructed to hide what she was truly feeling. When their eyes meet, it was although he could see right into her soul, and there was no way she could stop it.

"Kensi, are you okay?" Deeks asked, almost in a whisper as he sat next to her on the couch, putting a hand on her knee.

"I… I don't know Deeks" she sighed, looking down at the floor.

"Kens, talk to me, tell me what's going on, please, I'm your partner I want to help you" Deeks pleaded.

"I feel so lost Deeks, and I almost lost you! You were nearly killed, and that was my fault" Kensi said fighting back tears.

"None of this was your fault Kensi, you hear me, none of it, don't you think that for a second"

"But… if I had have been stronger, he would have been out of my life weeks ago. I could have prevented it all"

"Kens, look at me" Deeks said as he lifted her chin to see her beautiful eyes. "You are stronger than anyone I know okay, and I'm sure you had your reasons for not leaving him"

"I… I was… He…" she stuttered. "Promise you won't think differently of me" Kensi whispered, afraid to reveal her reasons why.

"There is nothing in this world that could make me think any different of you Kensi, you are perfection in my eyes" Deeks confessed. "Please, you can tell me anything"

"Okay Deeks"…

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As always: I Do not own NCIS LA or the characters!

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