My Heart

Disclaimer/Warning: DGray-Man does not belong to me. It belongs to Hoshino Katsura-sensei, and it shouldn't be any other way. I don't claim to own any of the characters, places, or names stated in this fan fiction. ((I just like making the characters do crazy stuff.^_^))

Again, thanks so much to all my reviewers; Mad-micky, Dgm-yaoi-lover, Blood Soaked Redemption, xRandomosityx, Reineh ((Happy Holidays to you too!! Belated though it may be.)), Cantlogin, SeikaDragon, XxMissyRandomxX, mimicsmaze ((I think that was the longest review I have ever read.3 Thank you!!^_^ You make me so happy)), kikyoinuyasha ((Times two..^_^ Love ya!!)), Nusku, Hi, Aion Laven Walker, seasnake756, BlueEyesWhiteDragon, MsLightfairyprincess, zenbon zakura, and sugar92. You guys kick ass!!!

I would like to say that, for anyone who read the first edition of this chapter, I'm sorry. I tried to post it, and, in fact, I did, but I realized that the whole thing was completely wrong. I apologize for the confusion. This is the proper, re-written version. ((The third version, in fact....I hope the best version.)) Again, sorry for any confusion to anyone who thought a new chapter was out when there wasn't, and to anyone who thought that the other version was the chapter. Forgive me?

Chapter Three: Something Is Wrong

Allen was silently fuming, pacing in her room, ready to murder something. She couldn't believe what Kanda had said to her!! How dare he!! Barely a human?!! What the hell was wrong with him?!!

As the infuriated girl was pacing, she bumped into the chair, which set her off. She picked it up and swung it over her shoulder to throw it into the wall. It made a satisfying crunch as one of the legs snapped in half, but Allen wasn't done. She hefted it up again and swung it against the wall, snapping off another leg and splitting wood of the seat.

Allen continued beating the chair against the wall until only the back was left of it and bits and pieces of it were scattered around the room. Her face was flushed and sweating slightly, and her hands were shaking somewhat violently.

"Damn him!!" she snarled angrily, dropping the destroyed chair. She sat down abruptly, shoving her back against the wall.

"What the hell is wrong with him?!!" she demanded. Her harsh, exhausted breathing was all that could be heard, but the silence of the rest of the room was nearly deafening after the ruckus she had been making moments earlier.

Slowly, she sunk into a sullen silence, her heart sinking even further. Her eyes pricked with unshed tears as she asked again, all previous anger gone from her voice, "What the hell is wrong with him?" Allen sniffed as she drew her knees to her chest and lowered her head onto them. She swallowed back the tears, but the previous angered shaking had turned into a full bodied shaking of despair.

How could he say such things to her? When he had been so kind in the Medical Wing? What had changed?

Though her words had been harshly toned, Allen had meant well. She was concerned about just how reckless Kanda was. She didn't like it one bit. At times it scared her, almost as much as it scared her that Kanda actually cared about her. The stubborn Japanese man needed to learn how to take better care of himself.

But, if she had meant what she had said to Kanda....the same could be asked about Kanda's words. Did he really think that they were incapable of taking care of each other, as well as the child?

Allen had to wonder... Were they too young? Could they even hope to get through this? Did Kanda even want to?

Her heart clenched and she shook her head. No, no, he had to care. He was just....he was....

Allen sobbed, the dam behind her tears breaking slowly, releasing a salty cascade.

"K...Kanda...Please....Don't leave me.." she cried, holding her face in her hands. He couldn't leave her...He just couldn't. She needed him so much, loved him so much.

Not willing to reduce herself to a pile of sobbing mess, Allen pulled herself together, cursing Kanda for being so irresponsible. Allen stood up, wiping the tears from her face, and swept up all the parts of the destroyed chair. It all went into a trash bin, which she took out of the room to deposit in the nearest trash receptacle. Then, she wandered off to go find a new chair for her room.

Sweat dripped from her nose onto the only hand supporting her while her arm shook slightly as she lowered herself.

"One hundred and fifty....One hundred and fifty one..."

Strain was just beginning to show itself on that pale face, highlighting the cheeks with light red. She blew out a quick breath as she lowered herself again, arm bending at a ninety degree angle. The small body shook somewhat as she briefly lost her balance. She caught herself by twisting her body ever so slightly in the opposite direction before regaining her center of balance.

Allen Walker was doing her complicated version of push ups, trying to distract her mind from the argument she had had only an hour ago. Had Kanda really meant what he had said?

She shook her head abruptly, trying to get rid of that thought. This caused her to lose balance completely and she had to struggle to land on her feet and not on something more...painful. Such as the chair or her face, as neither would be particularly pleasant. The chair clattered to the floor on its side. Allen stared at it for a moment, sighing, before she picked it up and sat next to her bed on the floor, still staring at the chair.

As far as she could tell, she had meant what she had said to Kanda. He was too reckless. At times it scared her, almost as much as it scared her that Kanda actually cared about her. The stubborn Japanese man needed to learn how to take better care of himself.

But, if she had meant what she had said to Kanda....the same could be asked about Kanda's words. Did he really think that they were incapable of taking care of each other, as well as the child?

Allen caught herself marveling at the fact that she kept thinking of the child. It was so odd, and even more so that she was so...accepting of it. Part of her hoped that it wasn't right...and another part was ecstatic about it. And yet another part was scared to death of the whole idea. Allen was sure that there was a tie between the second and third parts. Though, mostly she was scared about what could have been going through Kanda's head, what was going through that head of his.

Perhaps he was just as scared as she was...?

"Ha! Kanda, scared? Not likely." She sniffed, leaning back against the bed. Her head was tilted so that she could see the painting that hung over her bed. The jester that held such resemblance to her past, so many reminders.

"Mana...." she whispered, gazing at the giant cross that the jester bore on its back with a wide grin on it's face. The jester was lead forward by a chain held up by some unseen force.

"Mana.....I'll never stop moving....keep walking for you. ...I promise."

Allen crawled up onto the bed and rested her Innocence-imbued hand onto the painting, the other hand resting on her still-flat stomach. Sweat still clung to her body, so Allen grabbed the towel that was resting on her dresser and dipped it into the small bowl of water to wipe her face off. She decided that that would not be enough, and so just headed to the public showers with a bundle of clothes to change into.

After a long, relaxing shower, Allen was quietly, and somewhat mindlessly, dressing in the public shower. Her Innocence-imbued arm flexed suddenly, a spike of pain running from the glowing cross to her upper arm. Allen gasped loudly at the unexpected agony and clutched her arm. She curled her agonized arm into her stomach, bent over at the waist as she gritted her teeth to prevent herself from screaming. The pain was unbelievable!!

After a while, Allen was able to finish dressing. The first minute of the pain had caught her off guard, but she had been able to push it to the back of her head as much as possible. However, that first minute was far from being the worst of the pain. Allen suffered silently, trying to keep the pain to herself until she knew what was going on.

The British girl made her way back to her room as quickly as she could, as the pain from her arm would allow her. Several times it got so bad that she felt like falling to her knees and screaming her lungs out, and it was all she could do to prevent herself from doing just that.

When she got in her room, she locked the door and fell to the ground, gritting her teeth, feeling her stomach churning in denial of the pain. Allen tried to take her shirt off, but her movements were barely anything but sharp jerks and flinches. In her desperation, she was sure that several of the buttons on her shirt were ripped off, however, she found that she cared little in the presence of the excruciating pain tearing through her arm. When the shirt was finally off, Allen pulled her glove from her hand and examined her arm.

A close examination was unnecessary, as it was fairly obvious just what was wrong with her arm.

It was much like when she was with Tyki Mikk in the bamboo grove before her Innocence was shattered. The black, scarred skin of her Innocence-imbued arm was flaking off, revealing even more raw-looking skin beneath that, when touched, sent another spike of pain down her arm and back up again. Allen gasped and shuddered in response to the touch.

Something was definitely wrong here.

A knock sounded on the door.

"Allen? Allen, are you there?"

The white-haired girl looked up sharply at the door. What was Lenalee doing here?

"Yes, I am here, Lenalee. Hang on a second and I will let you in."

"Okay."

Allen grabbed her shirt, lacking two buttons, and pulled it on, being careful of her arm, and held it together with her left arm, wincing at the pressure, and opened the door. Lenalee stood there, holding her clipboard, looking rather apologetic.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" she asked, seeing Allen's shirt. Allen heard the underlying question, which was, "Kanda isn't here with you, is he?"

"No, no you're not, Lenalee. I was just getting ready to go to sleep." Allen said, opening her door a little wider to let the older girl in. Lenalee looked around the room, seeming to make sure that Kanda wasn't there, then she turned and smiled at Allen.

"My brother wants to see you. I think he said it was something about a mission." Lenalee said, smiling. Her smile faltered, though, when she saw Allen's face.

"Allen, are you okay?"

"Yes; I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"Your face is really pale and there is a vein sticking out in your forehead. Are...you sure you are okay?" Lenalee asked, poking at said vein on Allen's face. Allen rubbed her forehead thoughtfully and nodded.

"Yeah, I am okay. Sorry for worrying you."

There was a moment of tense silence before Lenalee spoke again.

"You should take better care of yourself, Allen. If you need anything...Your family is here for you." she said softly, touching Allen's shoulder gently.

"My family?" Allen questioned, looking confused. She had never really had a family...Let alone at the Order. Lenalee saw the confusion and smiled.

"Yes, your family here at the Order. My brother, me, Lavi, Miranda, everyone. We are your family, Allen. We always will be." The older girl said kindly, hugging Allen around the shoulders. The younger girl instinctively shrunk back from the hug, but stopped herself before hugging Lenalee in return.

"Thanks, Lenalee."

"Now, let's go to my brother's office before he does anything silly." Lenalee giggled.

Well, that is the end.^_^ Sorry it took so long to get it out, but I didn't have very much access to the computer, and when I did, it was a very short time. I will try to be faster, though.^_^ And, I know this wasn't very long and not much happened..But I will try to make the next one longer.

Oh!! What's wrong with Allen's Innocence??!! O.O You might figure it out next chapter!!! Make sure to review and such!!

-Maze Puppet