My Heart
Disclaimer/Warning: DGray-Man does not belong to me. It belongs to Hoshino Katsura-sensei, and it shouldn't be any other way. I don't claim to own any of the characters, places, or names stated in this fan fiction. ((I just like making the characters do crazy stuff.^_^))
Thanks to all you awesome reviewers!! I love you guys!! ^_^ Seika Dragon, Nusku, mimicsmaze, kikyoinuyasha, xRandomosityx, Reineh, XxMissyRandomxX, MsLightfairyprincess, Blood Soaked Redemption, Aion Laven Walker, Kanda-is-all-I-want, sugar92, and zenbon zakura. You rock my socks a million times over~!!! ^_^
To Nusku: I must know...Is that reaction a good one or a bad one? I hope good...
Chapter Four: Suffering, But Only In The Smallest Way.
"YUUU-CHAN~!!!!"
'Oh dear God, kill me now.' Kanda thought in frustration.
"Yuu-chan!! Where is Allen-chan?!! I haven't seen her all day!!" Lavi cried, falling all over Kanda in exaggerated despair. That, of course, was not true. Lavi had seen Allen twice that day, but that did not seem to stop the hyperactive red head. He was either determined to bother Kanda (no surprise) or he actually wanted to find Allen (not really a surprise there, either).
"Why don't you go look for her, baka usagi." Kanda sniffed, trying to drink his tea in peace. Whether from outside interference or mental interference, he was failing miserably at the 'peace' part. He couldn't get the stricken look that Allen had given him before she had left his room out of his head. Though he would never admit it, it hurt him greatly to see her like that.
"Yu-" Lavi began, but Kanda interrupted him by slamming down his cup on the table and standing up. He glared icily at Lavi, who only looked partially like a guilty child, the other part still looked like he wanted to know where Allen was.
"Don't call me by my first name and I won't use this cup to peel the skin from your body!" Kanda threatened.
"Ehh...How would you do that?"
"Do you really want to know?" Kanda responded dangerously.
"Eheheh....No...? But why wouldn't you just use Mugen?" Lavi asked with true curiosity. Kanda twitched and looked away. He then mumbled something that Lavi heard perfectly.
"What did you say, Kanda-pon?" Lavi asked regardless. Kanda glared and grabbed his tea cup threateningly. ((As far as I am concerned, Kanda can grab anything threateningly.^_^)) Lavi ignored the movement and continued.
"You left Mugen in your room? Are you serious??"
There was a brief pause before:
"Holy Hell, the world is going to end!!" Lavi screamed as he ran away, dodging the thrown tea cup miraculously, even though he had not seen it coming. (He knew Kanda too well to not suspect that the sour Japanese man would throw it.)
"Bye bye, Kanda-pon!!" came one final yell before the red-head disappeared. Kanda grudgingly walked up to the counter where Jerry smiled at him happily, pink hair shining brightly (as usual).
"What do ya need, sweetie?" the eccentric chef asked kindly. Kanda eyed the suspected-gay (in his mind) chef suspiciously before replying.
"I need more green tea."
"Okay, coming right up, sweetie."
Kanda restlessly tapped his fingers against the counter top and glanced once toward the door. Surely she would be coming in soon to eat..? With the god-awful stomach of hers, she was bound to be hungry right now. And especially with their child in her stomach, she was going to need to eat more often. Given that...Where was she?
Indeed, just as Kanda thought, Allen was hungry, but hiding it well. Komui was on the phone in his office when she had arrived, so she waited patiently for him to finish. For once, he actually was on the phone, and not trying to get out of work; Allen could hear the voice of the person on the other line.
"Yes, I see. And you think it will be safe for her?" A brief pause as the person replied.
"Yes, I understand that, but it can't be helped. You know how it is." Again, another pause.
"You think that someone should-? Well, of course I can do that." Komui said, smiling in Allen's direction. After a few more seconds of talk from the other side, Komui bid them goodbye and hung up.
"Well, Allen. As Lenalee told you I have a mission for you. You are going to Greece..." Komui rattled off some details of the mission as he handed a folder to Allen. Allen nodded a little in understanding while flipping through the information. Komui paused for a few seconds, setting down his coffee cup and looking at Allen very seriously.
"Allen, as I am your superior, there are things that I must know about any of you exorcists. If anything happens to you, I want to- I must know. You realize this, right?" Komui said quietly. Allen swallowed and nodded slowly. She had a feeling that she knew where this was going.
"In that case, you probably know what I am about to say. I was just on the phone with the Head Nurse, and she told me about your...condition."
"My...Condition." Allen said flatly.
"Yes." Komui replied, his eyes twinkling happily. Allen was relieved to see something besides the serious expression. Not only was it creepy on Komui- I mean, this is Komui!- it made Allen feel like she had done something wrong. (Yeah, getting pregnant was so not wrong at her age!)
"And Kanda is the father, too. I am slightly perturbed to hear that, but we both know that his sense of duty will keep him from leaving you to deal with this on your own. Not only that, but he can't really leave the Order. So, you're good there, Allen." Komui said brightly. Allen winced, her grey eyes sorrowful.
"How reassuring." she said emotionlessly. There was a momentary silence of awkwardness as Komui analyzed what he had just said. He tried to speak, but nothing sounded right. He bit his lip in thought.
"Well, Allen, I am sure that...that isn't the only thing that would keep him by your side..." the Chinese man said uncertainly. Allen wrung her hands a little as more awkward silence ensued.
"Oh, no. You guys are fighting aren't you?" Komui stated more than asked, though it was still obviously a question.
"It doesn't matter, Komui. What is the point in bringing up my personal issues?" Allen asked with some misplaced impatience. Komui, no matter how much Allen may have tried to hide it, did not miss the slight hesitation between the words "my" and "personal", with clearer hesitation on the latter.
"Well, if you are to be sent on a mission, I want to make sure that extra measures are taken to ensure your safety. I don't want to risk-"
"Extra measures?? My safety? Komui, that is ridiculous! I am just fine!" Allen exclaimed in disbelief.
"And risk what? I am as just a capable exorcist as any here! I have surpassed the synch rate to become a general! I can handle being on a mission by myself!" Allen took a couple of steadying breaths before Komui spoke.
"I realize why you would find this offensive, Allen. I do not doubt your capabilities as an exorcist at all. Certain precautions must be taken, however. We don't know what effects this may take on you as an exorcist, or as a fifteen-year old female. I don't want to scare you, but miscarriages happen all the time, and often, regardless of circumstance, the mother suffers as well. It may even be fatal to the mother...."
Komui trailed off briefly, judging Allen's reaction before continuing.
"I want to send just one exorcist with you. Be it Lenalee, Marie, or..anyone. Except Krory, who is on a mission of his own, and Kanda. Kanda's Mugen is being analyzed and modified right now and is in a delicate situation under my care." Komui explained. Allen shrugged, trying to pass the information off as if she couldn't care any less. The Chinese scientist shrugged as well before continuing.
"You are not leaving until tomorrow, since it is so late, I will soon decide who is going to go with you. Whether or not they know of your pregnant state is up to you, but if anything goes wrong, anything at all, they have to be prepared....Don't you agree?" Komui asked, tilting his head to the side. Allen nodded in response, sighing ever so slightly, knowing that he was right.
"Now, is there anything else that you need to tell me?" Komui asked, picking up his coffee cup again.
"No, Komui."
"Okay. You are excused. Oh, and can you tell Lenalee that I am out of coffee?" the
Chinese man asked sweetly (disturbingly), wiggling his cup a little. Allen heard the black contents sloshing around inside, causing her to narrow her eyes suspiciously.
"What? It's cold! Cold coffee is blasphemy for a hard-working man like me!" Komui exclaimed innocently, with some touches of incredulity. Allen sighed in exasperation as she walked away, mumbling "whatever" under her breath.
Kanda finally gave up on waiting in the cafeteria for the Moyashi to arrive. Maybe he didn't know the girl as much as he liked...? His heart was quite heavy as he placed his cup on the counter for used dishes and made his way out of the cafeteria. Of course, this didn't show in his demeanor (why would it? Kanda had an infallible mask of anger and indifference to cover every other emotion.) and so no one was the wiser to the Japanese man's great regret.
It wasn't as though he had been angry at the Moyashi. On the contrary, he was more concerned for her well-being. She was so young and successful pregnancies at her age were so very rare. From the moment he had realized what the Nurse was vaguely hinting towards, Kanda had been fighting to maintain his control. He was panicking, afraid of the chances that he might lose Allen, lose her just as he had finally enveloped her in his arms. Of course, there was a chance that he just might lose her due to his biting tongue.
Kanda headed to his room, feeling that he needed to just relax. Indeed, he was allowed a few minutes of relaxation before he spotted something in the corner by the door that was not his. A small pile of velvety, red ribbon adorned the ground where it had been tossed after is removal from adorning the pale neck of Allen Walker the previous night.
After it had been removed, Kanda pushed Allen up against the wall, pinning her arms above her head with one hand as he possessively held her with the other. He ravished her neck while grinding his hips against hers. The soft moan that escaped her lips made Kanda's knees go weak with desire for the small female.
"Oh good God!" Kanda groaned miserably. This obviously would not work in the category of relaxing. He stood up from his bed, walked to the door, and on a second thought leaned over and placed the ribbon on his dresser, and then left his room. His destination was the private sanctuary that he had not had the chance to visit since just before his mission to Budapest where he and-
Damn! He couldn't go there either!
Kanda stood just a few feet from his room, contemplating places that he could go in order to accomplish the "relaxation" bit. As he had just left the cafeteria, a soothing cup of hot green tea was out of the question, and he didn't feel like going to the training room, as he wasn't sure that exercising would do much. It would open his mind, but to what kind of thoughts? None that he would prefer to deal with at this point, for sure.
Finally, Kanda settled for going to the public showers to sit under the steaming water for a while. Probably a long while. With all luck, he would not encounter anyone (significant) on his way there or while in the showers.
Komui stared at the last of his cold coffee in silent thought. He had not missed the white-knuckled grip that Allen had had during their talk. Her face was ashen and somewhat strained, as though she had been in constant pain. This greatly concerned Komui, in fact, so much so that he wondered if Allen should go on this mission at all.
However, he couldn't rescind his order for two reasons: One, Allen would be insulted if he did. Two, it was a two-person mission now, since he had requested it be so after learning of Allen's pregnancy, and...well...he had lied to Allen. He already knew who was going to have to go on the mission, and no one else was available to do it.
The Chinese man sighed helplessly and downed the last of his coffee. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do.
Yay! There's the new chapter! ^_^
A little bit tense, ne? I think so....I don't know. I can't really tell the mood of this chapter. I am irritated right now as it is, so...Hehe...((Multiple factors, i.e.: my brother was being a jerk and my best friend, whom I love dearly, is complaining just a wee bit too much..))
In any case....what was the over-all mood of this chapter, you think?
Oh! We still don't know what is wrong with Allen's Innocence! (Shame on me, shame shame!! ^_^;;)) I'm not sure now when we will find out.. Too many things are going to happen in the next few chapters...and I need to straighten them out. We will find out soon, I hope..^_^
Review please! I'll love you if you do! ((You should feel obligated as it is...I'm surprised that I got this out as soon as this..^_^))
Looking forward to reviews,
-Maze Puppet