My Heart

Disclaimer/Warning: D Gray-Man does not belong to me. It belongs to Hoshino Katsura-sensei, and it shouldn't be any other way. I don't claim to own any of the characters, places, or names stated in this fan fiction. ((I just like making the characters do crazy stuff.^_^))

Yullen Week!!

This Yullen week will be for Kanda's Birthday! Starting June 1st and lasting until Kanda's Birthday on June 6th! For more information check in regularly to the Yullen Pride Forums~

http://www. fanfiction. net/topic/49938/12142336/1/

Or, you can PM Blood Soaked Redemption

http://www. fanfiction. net/u/1654070/Blood_Soaked_Redemption

or Kimi-chanchan

http://www. fanfiction. net/u/1726205/kimi-chanchan

Help is welcome in both the form of helping spread the word by adding this to your profile; or by adding info at the end of your stories and chapters! Any help we are greatly thankful for! =D Now fly with this wondrous news and spread the word, people!! Yullen week needs people who for sure will help!!

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Chapter Eleven: Orders Are Orders

Blood splattered on his uniform, he flicked Mugen to rid the blade of the dark, diseased blood of the Akuma. His well-trained body easily slipped into the very familiar fighting stance that he had mastered years ago, while he was still a child. He was surrounded by Akuma, but that was okay. This was his job; to kill them before they could corrupt more humans with their foul machinery.

Several Akuma charged him at the same time, hoping to catch him off-guard. Kanda was more attuned to his surroundings though, than to let such a simple maneuver get him. He leapt to the side and swung his sword, calling out audibly to the first attack of his sword, "Kaichuu Ichigen!!"

The insect-like creatures tore through the ranks of about a dozen of the machines, and even as they exploded, another group took their place. Kanda growled harshly and released Kaichu Ichigen several more times into the masses. After each wave, Kanda would jump to the next group and slice them open with Mugen. Due to his light weight, it was easy to spring from the ground to the bloated bodies of the level one Akuma and it was made easier by his skills in acrobatics.

The battle, if one could call it that, had been going on for nearly four hours. Kanda's last reprieve had been forty minutes ago, though he could not be exactly sure. The last he had seen of anyone else was not long after he had ended his rest. Lavi and Bookman left the main group near the beginning of the battle, heading north to find the other exorcists that were supposed to be waiting. Bookman, who had previously been the leader of the group, due to seniority and experience, had left the responsibility of making decisions and orders to Kanda, who was the most experienced tactician in battle, before they left, much to Kanda's chagrin.

Giving orders was not Kanda's preferred thing, but given the situation, he had accepted wordlessly, or at the very least without complaint. Nearly an hour later, Marie had been seriously injured, which was obviously a major disadvantage to the group. Now, it was just Lenalee, Krory and Kanda fighting. Kanda had ordered a defensive parameter around Marie, to protect him in his injured state.

Lenalee and Krory would hold the outer "wall", as they had the most speed, Lenalee from her Dark Boots and Krory for the speed he gains from drinking Akuma blood. Their mobility, Kanda had figured, would allow them to cover more ground, which meant that they could hold a tight line well enough, not necessarily that they could hold more ground. Kanda did not want to risk more injuries than necessary, and so ordered that they not move too far away from the main "base".

Kanda would hold the inner "wall", since it would be easier for him to defend Marie in a small space.

However, after several waves of Akuma coming after them, their position had to be given up. Kanda had ordered Lenalee and Krory to take Marie away as fast as they could, away from the battlefield to a safe area where they would take care of his wounds, secure the position and return to the battle as soon as possible. That had been quite a while ago.

Kanda could feel his arms getting heavier and losing control, slowly but surely. He would need to rest in another twenty to twenty five minutes. A quick look around at the Akuma and Kanda could tell that the ranks were finally thinning. There maybe about fifty or sixty (he couldn't be sure) left, as oppose to the initial four or five hundred. A slight sense of relief washed thought Kanda's body, alleviating some of his fatigue. He squashed it to prevent any unnecessary over-confidence to allow him to make a mistake.

While Kanda was preparing to unleash Ningentou, a group of Akuma broke off and all descended on Kanda. They were level two, all six of them, and coming from different directions. The beleaguered exorcist barely unleashed his attack in time, striking all six simultaneously, but not before three of them sunk their claws into his skin, needles of pain against the dull pressure that had been building up for the past few hours.

Kanda gasped as his muscles spasmed painfully, throwing his body into a miniature seizure. The tight grip that he had had on his Mugen flexed and then relaxed, dropping the sword to the ground. The sharp claws pulled out of his body, sending a spike of that mind-numbing pain up his spine, and Kanda fell to the ground next to Mugen. He gasped for air for a few moments, feeling the poisoned Akuma blood coursing in his veins, traveling almost leisurely towards his heart. Pale perfection skin darkened threateningly before Kanda's curse kicked in, reversing the effects of the poison, but not completely stopping it in its track. It was good enough for Kanda, who grit his teeth and pulled himself up, but not without first reattaching his hand around Mugen's hilt.

Vaguely, he wondered why none of the Akuma had attacked him, however briefly he had been on the ground. All thought was stopped when he looked around him.

The battlefield was...gone?

What..?

In place of the blood-covered ground was a marble floor, ranging from grey to white to a bluish-black, that nearly sparkled from its cleanliness. Pillars of the same kind and color surrounded what was quite similar to a ball room, though Kanda had little to no experience with such things. Silver sconces lined the walls, lighting the room in a slightly dramatic manner and there was a soft light coming from several windows near the ceiling, which rose above in a vaulting arch some fifty feet up. There seemed to be a fragrant smoke flitting in the air, teasing the senses here and there, something that was quite familiar to Kanda.

He looked to the center of the room, where a crystalline statue (if it could be called that, since there seemed to be no familiar shape to it, at least, none that Kanda could see) stood somewhat regally. It ranged in many different colors, like a rainbow, but moving, almost spiraling to the center of it's mass.

This whole situation....

Kanda was not so much interested in the crystalline mass, but what it contained, what it radiated, both disturbingly familiar.

It is familiar.....

A dark figure, curled in a half-ball, as if protecting some precious object with it's body, was held carefully almost in the center.

But why?

Kanda took a few hesitant steps forward, breath caught somewhere between his lungs and lips.

I have never been here before.

Energy radiated from the crystal, familiar but distinctly different from anything Kanda had ever experienced before.

This is....What is this?

Just as quickly as the vision came, it was gone again in a bright flash. Kanda felt a moment of vehement denial, calling back the scene.

"Kanda! Kanda, can you hear me?" a voice called from somewhere, softly and calmly.

"How is he?" another asked, sounding urgent.

"I...can't tell. He lost a bit of blood, and I think that a lung was punctured, but it seems to be on the mend." The first voice said, still calm. It was an older man's voice, older than the second.

"Can he be moved? I don't think we have much time left here. The next wave may come at any moment." The younger voice asked. Kanda knew that voice. He was sure he did.

"Lavi!" Was that a female's voice? She was frantic and tired.

"What is it, Lenalee?" the younger male's voice (Lavi? Was it really Lavi? But he had left with the Bookman hours ago...) asked, moving away. Kanda felt someone touch his chest, prodding a little at a sensitive spot. Kanda felt his brow crease in discomfort and moved his hand to grab the thing touching him.

"Stop that." he muttered, displeased.

"Well, it's nice to see you awake, Kanda." The older voice said. That was Bookman, Kanda knew for sure now. He opened his eyes to see the wrinkled face of the historian.

He tried to remember his vision, that odd dream, but the more he focused on it, the more details were lost to him. He gave up finally, just as the last thing her remembered was the familiarity of the scene. The scene itself was lost, but he knew that he had dreamt of something he knew. Or would know?

"Che. What the hell happened?" Kanda asked, sitting up in spite of the pain in his side and upper chest. It was nearly dark and the sun was behind him, lighting up the concerned faces of Lenalee, Lavi, Krory and Marie.

"The Akuma have pulled back for now. But Marie hears them coming this way. We have about ten minutes to get out of here."

"General Cloud Nyne and the other exorcists?"

"We....could not find them. The village they were supposed to be stationed at his been utterly destroyed. Burnt to the ground."

"They are getting closer." Marie urged. His left arm was badly mangled, having been caught in a pincer grip from an Akuma. The bones of the forearm were shattered and would not likely heal for a long time, if the limb wasn't permanently useless. His other injury was just the same, but without any broken bones. The Akuma that had disabled his arm was only one of the group that had caught the blind man unawares. Another of the group had spit acid at Marie, aiming for his face, but only hitting his chest.

Bookman nodded to Marie, offering his hand to Kanda to help him stand up. The Japanese man refused it and stood up on his own, albeit with some difficulty.

He surveyed the others, checking them.

Lavi's headband was missing, hair ruffled to cover up the eyepatch. His right cheek was bruised purple and bleeding profusely. The red-head reached every once in a while to rub at the red liquid, but mostly ignored it. He walked with a limp, favoring his left leg, but other than that looked okay.

Lenalee was not as lucky. Kanda himself had seen her accumulate a few of her injuries before he had lost sight of her, but apparently their escape had not gone well. A long scrape on her face had dried blood smeared around it, but seemed to be bleeding still. Her jacket had been ripped without mercy, showing more than a little of her delicate skin, which was bruised, but not bleeding much. Her legs were bruised, bleeding quite badly, and seemed like they could not hold her weight and would give out at any moment. Jumping from Akuma to Akuma, putting a great deal of force on her thin legs, and traveling at tops speeds did not do any favors for the Chinese girl. Scratches covered her legs and arms, ranging in size from a centimeter to several inches long. She was exhausted, that much was obvious.

Krory was being supported by Lavi, likely coming down off of an Akuma blood-high and paying the price. He seemed to have been thrown around a bit as well, every bit as exhausted as the rest.

"How fast can we move?" Kanda asked, looking pointedly at the wiped-out group.

"Faster than the Akuma, we hope." Marie answered, none of the pain that he surely must have been suffering evident in his voice.

"Didja enjoy yer nap?" Lavi asked Kanda, slurring his words a little and not appearing to care. The scratch on the side of his face, Kanda decided, was worse than it looked and was affecting his speech.

"Shut it, baka Usagi."

"Sure, Boss." Lavi had picked up an annoying habit of calling Kanda that in the past few months, much to Kanda's irritation. It was better than being called "Yuu-chan", though, Kanda had to admit.

"Let's get moving then. No need to waste time." Kanda said. Bookman seemed to have no complaints with Kanda's assumed role of control, preferring that he not be part of the major decision-making. He was an observer, not an active participant, of this war.

Several never-wracking hours later, the beleaguered group found themselves meeting up with the other group of exorcists, who looked as though they had only suffered a few minor scuffles in the past eight hours.

"Report, Kanda." General Cloud Nyne commanded, allowing her (rather creepy) monkey to revert to its smaller form after accepting that the bruised and beaten group wasn't an invading group and Akuma.

"En route to the main base of operations, at about 14:00, we were ambushed ten miles from the rendezvous by a group of about five hundred Akuma. An hour into the fight, Bookman and Lavi left to get help from your group. They did not return until after the Akuma had been defeated." Kanda explained all the details of the battle, at least the important ones, fairly perfectly, leaving nothing out. The female General listened quietly, waiting until the Japanese man finished before asking any questions. When she did, Kanda answered truthfully and to his best ability.

After this, Cloud Nyne sent them all to get checked by a medic, using her authority to get Kanda to go, who preferred to get a cup of tea. He obeyed, though, knowing it would be better to listen. His wounds had healed completely an hour ago, but wanted to wash the blood off of his skin; blood that belonged to himself, Noise Marie, and at least a hundred Akuma.

After ridding himself of the blood and changing into cleaner (and less torn up) clothes, Kanda headed over to check up on the others that had been under his command.

"Kanda." Lenalee said softly from a bed in the medical tent when Kanda walked in.

"What?"

"C-Can you close the curtain?" she asked, biting her lip. There were about ten beds in the tent, and each had its own curtain for privacy. Kanda nodded vaguely and stepped closer to the bed as he slid the curtain around the bed.

"How are you doing?" she asked with some difficulty. Kanda knew immediately what she was asking. It was the same as she asked every once in a while.

She was talking about Allen.

"I'm fine." Kanda said stubbornly, putting more emphasis on himself. He did not want to think about this. Lenalee caught on, as she knew Kanda well.

"You know what I mean, Kanda." The Chinese girl said sternly. The tone didn't have as much effect as it would have normally, and Kanda noticed immediately. She was losing faith in the search.

Damn it.

"It is fine, Lenalee." He said, trying to be comforting, but finding it hard. He denied it vehemently, but knew that somewhere, deep in his heart, he was losing hope too.

"I-I just....I don't think we are going to win this, Kanda. It's been how long?" she said, her voice cracking. Kanda shifted uncomfortably, looking away from the moist eyes.

"Seven months..." he said softly.

"How will we ever find her...?" Lenalee asked, covering her mouth and squeezing her eyes shut. Kanda could see that she was trying hard to be strong; for him, for herself, for those listening in.

"We will." Kanda said harshly, pounding his fist against the metal frame of her bed.

"I have to...." he whispered, looking at his hand blankly. He steeled his expression and stood up straight.

"Get some sleep. It may be a while before you can rest properly." He ordered, leaving the privacy of the curtain. He looked up to see Marie facing him, frown creasing his brow.

"Don't think too hard, Marie." Kanda said derisively.

"Now tell me, how useless have you become?" the Japanese man asked, his tone biting. Marie took no offense, but explained calmly, "I cannot use my arm for a while, and so using my Innocence will be difficult, but not impossible. I cannot move well, due to the acid burn on my chest, but I can still do my job."

"Good. What about you, Lavi?"

"I can fight. There's no problem with that. Panda-jiji can fight too. Krory has been checked up and released already, but Lenalee won't be able to fight until her legs rest. She tore several muscles and tendons in both legs from the strain and can't walk. Medic said three days at least." Lavi answered dutifully. Kanda cast a look around at some of the other injured in the room, who were all finders. He sniffed in disgust, cringing a little.

"General Cloud said that Komui should be calling soon so that she can make her report and receive new orders and information. It is likely that-"

"-Akuma!! Sir Kanda! Sir Lavi, Bookman!!! Akuma are approaching! General Cloud calls you now!" a finder yelled as he ran into the medical tent. Kanda nodded and hurried out of the tent. He had expected this. There was no way that the Akuma would have just given up after Kanda's small group had rejoined with the main force. He pulled out Mugen and activated it silently.

"Kanda! Wait up!" Lavi called from behind him.

"Che." was all that Kanda replied. The situation was too urgent to wait for the baka Usagi.

"General Cloud! What are your orders?" Kanda asked when he arrived by her side.

"You, Kanda, are to take Lenalee and Marie and get the hell out of here. You are their escort and defender. Take them back to the Dark Order Headquarters. These are my orders, and these are Komui's orders! Go, now!" the General commanded, Lau Shimin standing, in its giant form, in front of her.

"What?!" Kanda demanded, his dark eyes widening.

"You heard me. Get the hell out of here. Every exorcist is needed, but you, Lenalee, and Noise Marie must go back to Europe. Disobey and you will be punished." With that, Cloud Nyne turned from Kanda and began issuing orders. Kanda stared at her in disbelief before shaking his head and turning around.

As he ran back to the medical tent, Kanda felt like he was being told that he could not perform his duty, and so was no longer of use. He felt....betrayed...angry....and underestimated.

Orders are orders, he thought in disgust as he relayed the orders to Lenalee and Marie, who were just as shocked as he was.

OMG!! I am so sorry!!

I did not mean for it to take so long!!! But, between homework, school, college crap and stupid computer rules, I could not write at all!!

Forgive me, please???

And review, pretty please?

Much love,

Maze Puppet