Kryten hummed softly while he made his way through his large pile of ironing, while he was well aware he was programmed to pay attention to detail he felt it was that little extra bit of love and devotion he gave to the chore that made it pleasant. With Cat changing his outfit at least three times a day he never found himself idle around the laundry rooms. Collar first, then the sleeves, then each frill and lapel and finally the body then the handkerchiefs. Kryten lifted a small waistcoat in the air and smiled happily at its now crease free state. Hanging it gently on the now full rail he nodded to the skutters to wheel it up to the Cat's room and turned round to find Listers laundry which consisted of two socks and some long johns. Kryten snarled, it took him months to convince Lister to wash all of his clothes and lately Kryten had taken to sneaking into the bunk and removing the clothes whilst Lister showered. Paige on the other hand had a lot of lovely new items for Kryten to learn how to iron and she never failed to send him a full basket, usually with a lovely note of thanks or some WD40 or something equally as useful to a mechanoid.
Kryten stared guiltily at the small pile of clothing just out of sight, "Mister Rimmer" Kryten said glumly, finally walking over and lifting the basket. Since Rimmer became a hard light he had insisted stubbornly as being treated as human and therefore he had demanded he be allowed to wear clothes once more. Kryten lifted his shirts and t-shirts out of the basket and stared at them, t-shirts with 'Arnie does it best' and 'Give quiche a chance' not to mention that Rimmer's favourite home made t-shirt 'The dead do it dirty', Kryten recalled that hadn't been a favourite with Paige when she had seen him wearing it proudly. He made a log in his database to remind himself to ask the new Mister Rimmer if he would like to wear clothes or if he would prefer Holly to organise his wardrobe? Poor Mister Rimmer. Kryten couldn't work out his new emotion he was having every time he thought of Rimmer he couldn't work out if he genuinely missed the Rimmer he was used to or if he was so heartbreakingly sorry for Paige who had to deal with the death of someone close while looking at him everyday. Sometimes Kryten was glad he was a machine.
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Cat sat preening himself in the landing decks or Red Dwarf, Lister was with him staring up at Starbug with longing. They had been planning another moon trip and a blow out party to formally welcome Paige as a new member of the crew, it had been Rimmer's idea actually but with recent events taken into account it had been put on hold.
"Man I really wanted to get her out there and stretch her legs" Lister sighed patting Starbug. He turned to the skutters and watched them polishing her underbelly, grabbed his cloth and continued to shine up her leg.
"Why are you polishing that iron junk anyway?" Cat hissed, "I mean it's just a machine."
"Ah you will never understand men and machines my feline friend. A big beautiful engine and a huge hulk of machine are as inviting and as beautiful to a man as…" Lister thought hard to think of a cat equivalent, "It's like when you brush your hair yeah? You do that to fix it up, you shine it, and you show it off. That's what men do with machines. I mean sure Ol' Bug is a little bigger than my old motorbike but she's still a bitch from hell when you get her out into the stars." Lister stared dreamily at the bug once more and sat beside Cat watching the skutters. "She's just so pretty" he sighed.
Cat looked at his hair then back at the machine and scowled, he wasn't even going to point out how much more useful his hair was or how much more beautiful because it would just fall on deaf ears.
"Is Paige still in the AR unit?" Cat asked looking around him then leaning back into a full body satisfied stretch.
"Yeah I showed her all of those kick boxing games and martial arts simulation discs, I think it's been really good for her – she needs to get all of her pent up energy out. She has done nothing but play them for the last few days actually, I think she is avoiding him." Lister stared at his oil ridden hands, "I guess my trying to get her and the new Rimmer together didn't exactly work out."
"Meh don't sweat it bud you tried. He's just a totally different person; personally I just avoid him it is much easier to pretend he doesn't exist than be quoted another space corp directive."
Lister half smiled at Cat and watched him curl up on a storage box and drift off to sleep. Ignoring Rimmer wasn't that easy for Lister, he shared a bunk with him and had to watch him sit over his text books or he was forced to answer hundreds of questions about the old Rimmer and Paige. Rimmer seemed to hate his alternate self with a passion which didn't make life easy for Lister who had sort of been friends with the old one. It was Lister however who heard Rimmer cry himself to sleep at night so whatever the Cat said he couldn't just turn his back upon him. The new Rimmer might be difficult at times but the old Rimmer was in there somewhere, it would just take some time before he felt comfortable enough to relax and be himself.
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Paige walked silently along the corridors; she had been sleeping in the officer's quarters again and felt haggard. Now she had been asleep for 8 hours she woke and made her way back to the AR unit she felt so tired and weak but that didn't matter once she put the helmet on, all the pain went away then. Checking around each corner she waited to ensure she wouldn't bump into anyone else and snuck quickly into the AR unit, pulling her favourite game from under her sweater she inserted it into the drive and ordered Holly to lock the door.
Holly said nothing, he did as he was bid but he knew he couldn't watch her destroy herself like this any longer, he would have to do something, he would have to be a snitch and tell Lister, Lister would fix it. He could be replied upon like that; smiling at his plan he loaded up 'Better than Life' and left her to it.
Paige opened her eyes and found herself sat outside of the ship, she stared and waited, it wouldn't be long now. Within minutes she saw his image start to appear in the distance he was walking towards her determinedly picking up his pace, she sighed seeing the light gleam on his blue suit as he came more into focus she picked out his gentle smile and started walking towards him, there was no H on his forehead but he was there and he was hers.
"Arnold" she shouted as she jumped into his arms, Rimmer squeezed her tightly to him and kissed her.
"I'm here" he whispered, "I am never going away again. I promise"
Paige blinked and found them lying together on Red Dwarf, curled up they locked legs and lay kissing each other softly. They never spoke much, he told her he loved her and that he wouldn't die, sometimes he told her he was human, other times he appeared as a hologram. Paige didn't need him to talk she just needed to feel him, even whilst in the game she stared into his eyes and wanted to cry at the injustice of it, that she had to come into a game to see him, to feel him and hold him. Her only escape was her prison, she wanted to pull him out of there with her and take him on board the ship but as with everything else in the game he existed only in her mind. Paige held him tighter and closed her eyes, "I loved you Rimmer" she wept, "I didn't even tell you but I really loved you"
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"This isn't right" Lister turned the monitor off, "I don't feel right watching it Holly" he stood and stared at the floor with his hands on his hips. How stupid had he been, of course Paige would have found 'Better than Life' and once she realised she could get her Rimmer back she would plug in every day and just waste away there.
"Dave, I can't stop her from putting it in, I need you to help her"
"Okay Holly. Damn. I just don't know what to do. How do I tell her to stay away from what she wants?"
"I've been thinking actually" Holly smiled.
"That sounds dangerous" Cat grinned walking in with Kryten, "What's the news? Why did you call us here?"
Lister motioned to the monitor which Kryten flicked on and stared at glumly, Cat watched for a few seconds as well and had to turn away. They all shared a few worried glances before they looked back at Holly, who once given the attention of the group carried on with his speech.
"Rimmer knew how fragile the hologram discs were, how do we know he didn't make a copy of himself and put it somewhere safe?"
"Wouldn't he have needed you to do that?" Cat asked.
"Well yes, or Kryten, but if he had wanted to it to be a secret then he would have made us erase our memories immediately afterwards" Holly continued, "Arnold being Arnold I am almost sure he is just cunning enough to do something like that"
"Or are we giving him far too much credit?" Lister half mocked, "I mean if he did do that, what's the point? None of us know where it is? So he will stay erased."
"If he did decide to do it" Kryten thought aloud, "It would have almost certainly be after a time when his life was in jeopardy, perhaps after that world created by his own mind or perhaps after the inquisitor visited us, he was quite shook up about that!"
"Even Rimmer then is better than the one we have now, he's miserable, Paige is half killing herself and we have had to put off our smegging party. Ok so let's assume Rimmer might have had the brains to save himself – how do we find it?"
"I'm afraid the only way to do that sir" Kryten frowned, "Would be to gain the trust of the new Rimmer. His mind works the same, only he would know where he would hide a disc"
Rimmer sat on the floor outside listening to the conversation; he leant his head against the wall and sighed. Deciding he had heard more than enough he stood up to leave, ignoring the stinging in his eyes he walked down the corridors thinking hard where he would store a disc if he needed to.
"Kryten, this is a lot more complicated than all that" Lister shook his head, "We are talking about the new Rimmer now as if he doesn't have a say in any of this, he is here too. We need to talk to him properly, none of this heartless ambush business, that isn't the way to do it"