Kyoko's hand was visibly shaking as she reached across the table to lift up her drink. Her throat was dry and quenching her thirst with the fruity beverage that was bought by a nearby table of girls, she tried to recover from her sudden jealousy.
It wasn't like she didn't know that Tsuruga-san was a playboy. The signs had been there all along. He probably couldn't help himself to begin with. How could someone as brilliant an actor and popular with the ladies not be so.
Scoffing silently to herself in self-disgust, Kyoko remembered how Shotaro had once fumed with jealousy at being ranked seventh, while Tsuruga-san was ranked first, as the most desirable man in all Japan. Why didn't she heed the warning signs?
Even Shotaro had cautioned her that she would end up like all those fangirls with nothing but a love-filled mindset. Yet Kyoko had argued vigorously against it at that time. Hadn't Shotaro even insisted that Tsuruga-san was only being kind to her out of obligation since they were both from the same agency?
There's probably no reason for a guy who's kind to a girl like you, not to be kind to other girls as well.
Shotaro's words rung painfully in her mind. She already knew that she wasn't special in Tsuruga-san's eyes. Of course she was just a kohai to him. Someone he was nice to because of a few circumstances and common courtesy.
Kyoko blinked back her tears and took another swallow of her drink as she remembered how she had defended her ability not to fall in love with Tsuruga-san to Shotaro. She had even sworn to Shotaro that she would never allow her nourishment to be turned into a poison.
That she was fully capable of learning from her senpai without falling in love with him. She felt like laughing at her own stupidity. She felt like crying at her own stupidity as well.
Yashiro watched as Kyoko took another swallow of her potent drink. Her posture was sunken and there was an obvious glaze over her eyes. A slight frown of worry etched his face. Was she over indulging in her alcoholic beverage?
As it was the waitress was headed towards their table with another drink. Yashiro's frown darkened as he followed the direction the waitress had come from, several girls were staring openly at Kyoko and it was apparent that they were buying drinks for the young star without knowing that she was actually female.
This reminded him of the many times Ren had been courted by overly eager females. A sardonic twist of a smile lifted his lips as he remembered how often he had to put a stop to their advances, in order to shield the popular actor. Would his services be needed now in order to protect his look-a-like?
As the waitress arrived, Yashiro grabbed the drink from her while she was still in the mist of depositing the drink down. Lifting the fruity liquid to his mouth, Yashiro swallowed the drink before waving happily in the direction of the table of girls.
Surprised, the waitress began to say, "Sir that drink was for -" but Yashiro cut her off with a snort, "I know who that drink was for but please inform them that should they continue to buy drinks for my friend, I would be happy to continue to drink them all on his behalf."
Yashiro's head tilted in the direction of Kyoko as he made his point. His emphasis was not missed on the waitress as he handed the empty glass back at her. Her eyes quickly scanned his stern face and smiling apprehensively, she took the empty glass back.
"Yes, please enjoy your drink then," she bowed, before she left with a longing look pinned on her face, aimed at Kyoko.
It was obvious to Yashiro that Kyoko was not overly concern with the mounting attention that was beginning to escalade around her. In fact, he could sense that she was distracted by the dancing couple on the dance floor.
Her occasional glances towards Ren and Kotonami spoke volumes to Yashiro. He was also glad that Kyoko was not immune to Ren's flirtatious behavior with her best friend.
"I think they are having a good time," Yashiro smiled as he watched Ren's hands climb up Kotonami's back in what seemed like a seductive caress.
"Yes," Kyoko breathed, as she tore her eyes away from the dancing couple.
"Kotonami seems like a good dancer," Yashiro said while he kept his eyes focused on Kyoko.
"Yes," Kyoko nodded, her eyes were down cast and her lips were tightened despondently.
"Ren seems to be having a good time too," Yashiro announced brightly at Kyoko's obvious displeasure.
"Yes, it would seem so." Kyoko eyes returned to the tall actor before they narrowed conspicuously. Her hands trembled slightly as she reached for her drink and took a long gulp to clear her thoughts.
Kyoko needed to take back control of her own life; she did not want to allow her personal feelings for her playboy senpai to manipulate her life. Senpai? Wasn't he more than that? Hadn't she married the man? Kyoko's features twisted in anguish. Resting her temple wearily in her hand, she bemoaned her current predicament.
An anguish groan escaped her and she bit her lips in frustration to silence the ache in her heart. Watching Tsuruga-san hold Mouko-san close to his form while they danced, Kyoko couldn't help but remember the last time Tsuruga-san had mentioned to her that kissing someone on the cheek was just another way of showing gratitude.
Why was it that he could so easily kiss or hold someone so intimately? Wasn't the man Japanese? Did he realise what he was doing with Mouko-san? Hadn't he even mentioned that he reserved such actions for non-Japanese but if they were Japanese, then he wouldn't act in such a manner with just anyone?
Had he been lying to her at that time too? In her blaze of fury, Kyoko experienced a brief image of him molding another person to his form. Jerking herself erect, a tense moment befell her.
Like a kaleidoscope of events, she started to see images of herself laying naked beneath him while he touched her willing form. Was that really her? Did that really happen or was she imaging it?
Her reality felt so uncertain to her, like a black hole that was reaching out to swallow her up, but Kyoko forced herself to remain lucid. Gasping the edges of the table tightly, she held on. Kyoko could not believe that she had just imaged such a scene.
Yet as she stared transfixed at Tsuruga-san, she could envision him completely naked, and the familiarity of the way his skin felt even made her hands tingle. Surely this couldn't have been a dream?
Snatching her gaze back to Yashiro, who was watching the dancing couple, Kyoko rasped, "When exactly did you and Tsuruga-san start to look for me?"
Her voice was high pitched and soft but Yashiro had no problem hearing the urgency of her tone over the loud blaring of the dance music. Beaming a bright smile at her, he replied, "It was close to eight when he called me."
Frowning at his answer, Kyoko stared blindly at the dance floor as she thought back to her date. She had left with Tsuruga-san from the Japanese Municipal government office around six in the evening and had woken up in the hotel room sometime before eight.
Even Yashiro confirmed that she had left a little before then. So what had happened between five and eight? Like a haze, Kyoko tried to recall the details. And like a puzzle that was slowly piecing together, she began to remember the events.
Yashiro watched as Kyoko's face first whitened to a deathly pale then flushed to a vivid red. "Kyoko, are you not feeling well?" he dropped all pretenses and he searched her face in concern. As if in answer, Kyoko gasped loudly and half stood up at the same time.
Staring at Tsuruga-san with her mouth wide open, Kyoko felt her knees begin to buckle. Dropping painfully back down to her chair, she finally realised that her husband had consummated their marriage. A cold chill ran over her as her heart raced painfully in her chest.
She had in fact been marked for tragedy, hadn't she? The signs were all around her even from the beginning of filming Tragic Marker. If only she had noticed the Shinigami then perhaps she could have prevented this.
She had felt it the moment he had caressed her head at the beginning of the filming. That scary stamp was the mark of tragedy; it had left her almost on the brink of tears. But it had also made her feel warm with happiness. His gentle pat had alerted her to the complete fool she could become should she ever fall in love with him.
Nothing could have meant as much to her at that moment then his touch, which was why Kyoko was currently struggling to accept that they had now done much more than that. Her features became gloomy, as she accepted fault for her stupidity in falling for him.
She should have known better. But perhaps Tsuruga-san was not as bad as she had imagined. Perhaps she could believe that behind his charming looks he was a man of decent character? Kyoko searched the dance floor for him, hoping to find a clue as to what his true nature could be.
Tsuruga-san was stoking Mouko-san on the head and Kyoko had to swallow back a cry of outraged when she realised what he was doing. Wasn't that completely out of character for him, while he still dressed as Cain? Was it that the emperor of the night just couldn't control himself?
So this was who he was after all? The man behind the gentleman mask was nothing more than a playboy. And so soon after he had stripped her of her virginity, he was out seducing her best friend? Was she really just nothing but a play thing to him then? Something that he could easily toy with? Had Shotaro been right all along?
"Kyoko? Are you feeling sick?" Yashiro asked again, quickly he stood up and made his way around the table to kneel before her.
Shaking her head, Kyoko replied, "I…no…I…think I am fine."
"You think you are fine? You look like you are sick. Your cheeks are all flushed but you feel cold. Are you sure nothing is wrong?" Yashiro asked.
"No, it's just the drink, I think it just made me a bit ill." Kyoko hastily fabricated, while she wiped at the beads of cold sweat forming on her brow.
"Well in that case let me assist you back home." His arm reached around her to surround her waist.
"What's wrong?" Ren's voice called over to them as he returned to the table with Kanae by his side.
"Kyoko is not feeling well, she thinks it's the drink," Yashiro answered for her as he recoiled from the dark look in Ren's eyes.
Glancing down at her, Ren knelt beside Yashiro. Lifting a hand towards her, he laid it over her forehead.
Kyoko reacted as if she had been burned, pulling back suddenly, she slapped his hand away, "I'm fine now."
"You don't look fine," Ren answered her. He was aware of her overly sensitive reaction but unsure if she may still faint like she had earlier, Ren was not keen on allowing her to leave unattended.
"I'm fine," Kyoko repeated icily as she glared at the tall man in front of her. Her skin was still burning from his touch and she couldn't tolerate his nearness any longer. Glancing down and away, she frigitted with her gloves.
"You don't look fine. I think we should take you to see a doctor," Ren repeated in disbelief, as he gazed back down at her.
With a stubborn glint in her eyes, Kyoko stared Ren in the face and repeated vehemently, "I said I am fine. Besides I am not a child that I need anyone to take me to a doctor."
"I think Tsuruga-san is right, you don't look fine. So perhaps we should leave." Kanae interrupted their face off as she walked towards her friend.
Wanting to diffuse the situation, she placed a gentle hand on Kyoko's shoulder and offered, "I'll take you home."
Kyoko nodded up at Mouko-san before looking back at Tsuruga-san. She could tell that he was beginning to become angry. Was it because she had interrupted his evening plans with her best friend?
Her own anger was stirred up as she looked away from him. Thankfully, she had an excuse to leave his presence. Standing up, she backed away from the two men and grabbed her jacket, in preparation to leave.
Did he really think she would just remain there and let him try to seduce her best friend? Did he really intend to fool around, right in front of her? She understood that she might just be a wife to him because of an act but Kyoko was not going to allow herself to be taken a fool of by him either.
Ignoring the conversation that Mouko-san was having with Yashiro and Tsuruga-san, she scanned her surroundings for a distraction. Her focus was immediately drawn to the table of girls that had been sending drinks to her all evening. Nodding at no one in particular, she gave them a sweet smile for their kindness.
Several of them waved excitedly at her and Kyoko was tempted to walk over towards them when a hand froze her in motion. "Don't you dare go there," Kanae hissed as she dragged Kyoko out of the restaurant.
"Sorry, Mouko-san. I forgot," Kyoko replied.
"Well it seems like there were a few other things that you have also forgotten," Kanae mentioned through gritted teeth as they made their way to the street to hail a taxi.
"What are you talking about?" Kyoko asked, before a taxi pulled over towards them and they entered.
After telling the driver where to go, Kanae turned her whole focus to Kyoko and explained, "I had been talking to Tsuruga-san and he said that you had fainted. He also said that you had disappeared without telling him you were coming to meet me. What has come over you? It's not like you to do such things?"
Sighing heavily as she leaned back against the fabric seats of the taxi, Kyoko replied, "Before I tell you, did he happen to mention why I had fainted in the first place?"
"Come to think about it, no. So what is really going on now? Did something bad happen?" Kanae asked with a tinge of worry in her tone.
"I guess you can say that," Kyoko bit out ominously.
"Kyoko, what is it? Now I'm getting worried about you. What happened?" Kanae asked as she held Kyoko's eyes in a serious lock.
Grimacing, Kyoko replied after a long sigh, "I got married."
The hairs on Kanae's arms stood up in alarm, at the way Kyoko had said that, making her sit up erect in her seat, as she clarified, "What?"
"I fainted because I had gotten married to Tsuruga-san, while I was out on my date." Kyoko replied defensively.
A dead silence followed Kyoko's solemn words as Kanae stared wide mouth at her friend.
Unsure of what to say, Kanae asked, "Are you joking?"
Nothing would have prepared Kanae for her friend's behavior. Flipping her hands up in the air before covering her face with them, Kyoko began to laugh hysterically. Her body began to rock back and forth in her mirth.
"Am I joking?" she asked as her shoulders shook forcefully with her muffled laughter.
Surprised and confused by Kyoko's reaction, Kanae asked, "Kyoko, why are you laughing? Surely you must be joking or this must have been some kind of mistake?"
"Mistake? Yes, this is one very big mistake!" Kyoko suddenly stopped laughing and lifted watery eyes that threatened to spill, up to Kanae.
"Oh god, I made a huge mistake!" Kyoko wept miserably.
Reaching for her friend, Kanae hugged her tightly. "Tell me everything."
And in a burst of pent up emotion, Kyoko told Kanae about her date with Tsuruga-san right up to the moment they had left the Japanese Municipal government office.
"I thought this was only an act. I didn't know he was going to use his real name, if I had, I wouldn't have used mine," Kyoko cried.
"I understand but surely this is something that can be annulled. After all it may have all just been an act anyway, right?" Kanae asked as she tried to ease her friend's mind.
A loud groan of frustration escaped Kyoko as she hid her head back into her hands. "I can't annual it," Kyoko said hoarsely.
Pulling her friend up by her shoulders, Kanae held Kyoko in a tight grip as she demanded, "What happened, why can't you annual it?"
Kyoko's head hung with shame, while she answered softly, "You can guess why, can't you?"
"That bastard!" Kanae burst out, while a red flush burned at her cheeks.
"I'll show him. We can stop this, it's not too late. We live in the twenty first century, he can't play with you like that!" she continued, her hand squeezed painfully onto Kyoko's shoulder.
"No, I don't want you involved in this!" Kyoko replied adamantly with a shake of her head.
"But I'm already involved. It was my suggestion that you go out on that date with him and if it weren't for that, then none of this would have happened," Kanae pointed out painfully, with eyes filled with pity.
"No it's really not your fault, I have no one to blame except for myself for this," Kyoko whispered in despair.
"Then at least let me do what I can to help," Kanae offered in desperation.
"But there isn't anything you can do about my circumstance," Kyoko stated as a familiar gloom washed over her profile.
Kanae's chin tiled up in determination, "That's not true! There has to be a way to fix this. I know that if you want, we can get him to divorce you. There has got to be a way out."
The idea startled Kyoko. Could she do it? She could see herself sealing her fate should she continue in her marriage to him yet divorcing him seemed like an even worst idea. Even though it was only an act, the truth was she had become his wife.
Everything in her being was against the notion of remaining as his wife, but a lost emotion that had sprung up deep within her was beginning to take hold of the idea of remaining as his wife. Like a box that could no longer be locked away securely within her, this emotion was beginning to take control.
Kyoko's eyes flew up to meet Kanae's eyes before she looked down and away guiltily. Her chin trembled slightly, while she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She had inadvertently already made up her mind.
With raised eyebrows, Kanae could feel the sudden change in mood emanating from her friend. Leaning slowly back into her seat, Kanae waited a long moment before she finally said, "I understand. So you don't really want a way out, do you?"
Kyoko closed her eyes tightly, hoping to shut out the agony in her heart that was conflicting extremely with the logic in her mind. After a long hesitation, she finally lifted up a wounded look and with a sorrowful smile on her lips; she nodded slowly at her friend. "No, I don't."
Staring out the window of the taxi, Kyoko admitted in her fatigue, "I didn't want to ever feel this way about him but I do. I already know how foolish I have now become. I may as well just pack up my bags and return to Kyoto."
Taking Kyoko's cold hands in her own, Kanae said reassuringly, "You are not foolish. Life is not over for you yet, for you to return to Kyoto!"
Kyoko shook her head wearingly and stressed, "But don't you see? I cannot become an actress any longer since I have now soiled my goals by falling in love."
"Kyoko, even though I know little of love, I don't think it should be considered the end to life." Kanae frowned as she searched her friend's face in concern.
Desperate to make Mouko-san understand, Kyoko clutched on tightly to her friend's hands. "But it should be, especially when it's an unrequired love! It is the same as inviting the Shinigami into your life."
Calmly as if talking to a small child, Kanae answered, "Then let me help you exorcise this deity and make Tsuruga-san feel the same way about you too."
"As much as I would like to believe that is possible, it could never happen. This man is a playboy who can have any woman he could ever desire, why would he ever want someone like me?" Kyoko asked despondently.
Kanae dismissed Kyoko's grim words with a snort. Her eyes fixed on Kyoko's depressed look and with a bright gleam in her eyes, while she explained, "Kyoko, have you already forgotten? You aren't just anyone. You are his wife and in Japan, that means he belongs to you."
Hope filled Kyoko's eyes. Nervously rubbing her cold hands together Kyoko asked, "But it might not really mean anything to him, how do I change that?"
"Do you plan on seeing him soon?" Kanae asked.
Shaking her head, Kyoko answered, "No, there isn't any need since I'll be filming Box-R for the next week"
"Then we'll just have to make you see him." Kanae replied as she patted Kyoko's knee reassuringly.
"How? What possible excuse can I come up with to see him?" Kyoko asked, while her shoulders drooped again.
"Kyoko, again you are forgetting! You are his wife, you need to realise that before you can make him realise it," Kanae exclaimed in weary impatience.
"I still don't understand how I'm to do that," Kyoko probed, while her face showed her puzzlement.
Leaning forward, Kanae stated, "Starting tomorrow, you will have to change tactic."
Waiting a full minute to get Kyoko's complete attention she continued, "Starting tomorrow, you will have to begin acting like his wife, and if he wonders what is going on, all you have to do is remind him that you are married in real life and should he question you, then just fall back on that gothic rocker character that you were pretending to be when you first married him."
Kyoko blinked at Kanae's words in disbelief, "You make it sound so easy. But I am not sure if I even know how to do that"
Smiling from ear to ear, Kanae answered, "I understand that it might be difficult but we need to understand that all men are the same, so they can fall in love just like we could. So from now on, you have to do things to get him to fall in love with you. Show him that you are available and interested."
"Available and interested? What do you mean by that?" Kyoko asked but her face was already contorted in dismay and she was internally cringing at the possibility of what Mouko-san was implying.
"You need to charm him like the way a woman would. My sister used to always tell me that a way to a man's heart isn't through his stomach but by aiming at something a little lower than that," Kanae announced straight-face.
"Charm him by aiming lower than his stomach? So you do mean by doing that?" Kyoko's face wrinkled up in mortification and shock. Her composure was also daunted by her friend's blunt words.
But Kanae remained indifferent, her eyebrows were raised in challenge at her friend's naivety, "Can you think of any other way?"
Looking away in embarrassment, Kyoko shook her head. She swallowed back a nervous lump. Secretly, her heart was beating in anticipation of her new goal. Was it possible? Could she make him love her?
Crumpling back into her seat, she wondered at the possibility. Could she really use sex to make him fall in love with her?
A/N: Hi everyone, hope you are enjoying my story so far. I am always glad to hear from you and am happy for all your support.
For those interested in SB ch 150, Ren's explanation of why he kissed her cheek helps leaves Kyoko with an impression that Ren is a playboy.
Shinigami is Japanese for death god, a deity that invites suicide or can be used as an expression for the fleetingness of life. I used the word in my story to link Tragic Marker to Kyoko's desire to fall from the cliff and the way Ren was considered a poison flower in SB ch 149. Kyoko also hints to this in SB ch 178.
Cain pats Setsu's head in SB ch 178 and Kyoko admits to feeling joyous by it in ch 191.