Chapter four
Jade's POV
I strapped Livvy and Jasper into the car and waited for Beck, taking my place at the wheel. I pressed the car horn and drummed my fingers on the wheel in impatience. In the mirror, I saw Livvy looking at me, her little brow creased and her pink lips pursed.
"Mommy, you know that you seem different," she lisped. I raised my eyebrow.
"Do I?" I replied, humouring her. "How so?" It wasn't a surprise; I was a lot younger right now.
"I don't know," she replied, sighing. Then she flipped her hair back and strained her neck to look out of the window. She made a noise of irritation. "When's daddy here?" I saw a flicker of myself in her then, and gave a small smile.
"Soon," I said. A couple of minutes later, Beck appeared, looking very untidy. He looked at me with a frown.
"I don't like my clothes, so I grabbed my old ones."
"They're your clothes," I laughed, starting the engine. He jumped in and we headed for Cat's house, which I'd found out in my address book.
Once we started driving, things calmed down and it was quiet. It didn't occur to me to check on Olivia – she was being so quiet – but soon I realized that's when you have to watch out. I looked in the mirror again, reaching up to adjust it. Olivia as trying to play with her brother, but she wasn't making him comfortable.
"Olivia!" I said. "Leave your brother alone to sleep, "
"Yes, Olivia," Beck said, backing me up. "Do as Jade tells you and be a good girl." Olivia pouted and then piped up.
"Daddy," she started, sitting up. "Why did you call mommy Jade?" Beck faced me, and I shrugged.
"That's her name," Beck replied. "Would you like Jasper to call you sister all the time?" Olivia shook her head.
"I guess not. You always call mommy, mommy though!"
"Never mind, I called her Jade today,"
"Yes I know. Don't!" Olivia cried. "I don't like it." She protested, sticking her chin up indignantly. I pursed my lips, thinking about responding and interrupting the daughter/father talk, but thought otherwise.
"Don't be silly, Olivia. I'm calling her Jade and that's that. Be a good girl." I saw Olivia twitching her mouth as she thought, chewing the inside of her cheek. It showed her dimples and made her look extremely cute. I tried to change the subject.
"So, are you excited to see Auntie Cat?" I asked, looking at her. Olivia nodded, but stayed quiet. As soon as we pulled up, she ran out and flung the door open of Cat's house. Cat seemed to live in a tiny house, though when you got inside it was rather big. It looked like it belonged to Cat. Multi-coloured and happy, with toys littered around. I wonder how many kids she has.
I walked in and saw Olivia in Cat's arms, snuffling into her chest. Cat was waiting, a crease in her forehead and her mouth in a little frown, patting Olivia's back. I walked in and raised my eyebrows. I didn't feel the need to say anything, I just went over to Cat and stood next to her, stroking Olivia's cheek softly, saying that everything would be okay. Cat eye's shot to Beck's face.
"Where's the baby?" She asked, her high pitched tone piercing the silence. I felt her disapproving eyes wander over to me, sighing when they looked over to Beck once again. I looked around quickly and shot out to the car, my heels clacking against Cat's wooden floor. I sighed in relief as I saw Jasper in there.
"Oh, baby," I said, picking him up and holding him close. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart," I saw Cat slowly walking to the door, looking at me from the doorway. She was still comforting Olivia. I walked back to her, looking into her eyes. They looked worn and tired, and slightly irritated. She rolled her eyes and stepped aside to let me in. She didn't even meet my eye. I walked inside, breathing silently.
"Why are you even here?" She said. I flinched away from her harsh tone, and when she put Olivia down and took her hand in hers, I shook my head.
"I don't know." I said. I tried to continue but the words wouldn't form. I tried to take Olivia's hand but she walked backwards and I gave up. Cat guided her to the kitchen where she gave her a glass of water and some grapes. Beck was still in the living room.
"So…how are you?" I asked awkwardly.
"Don't bother with pleasantries, just tell me why you're here and then leave, please."
"Cat?" I asked. I felt like a little girl again, confused and lost.
"Please," she said, and I saw that she was genuinely hurt. "I don't want this to happen again. Just go. If you're going to argue again, leave Olivia, but just go."
I blinked hazily, and left in a bit of a daze. I sat in the car, just cursing everything. I wanted to be alone. I needed to figure this out. I waited for Beck and we drove back home in an uncomfortable silence until he got out at an arcade and said he needed space. I kept driving and driving until I got home. I looked through our computer and my diary (just dates) and everything. I didn't think I would ever find anything. I kept looking. I can't give up. I need to know.