I looked through all the boxes I could find, soothing baby Jasper as I searched. I wanted to know what Cat meant. I stumbled across a few baby pictures of Olivia – one with me, just minutes after she was born. Then there were our wedding photos. We must have married pretty young. I looked about 19, fresh out of school. I liked my wedding dress. It was white, with black butterflies adorning the hem. I had a long flowing veil and a little tiara. My hair was in a messy bun, and my eyes were accented with silvery powder.

I flicked through the rest of the photos. Some of Olivia, and then there weren't many more. I found some official papers – guardianship papers. I scanned them and saw Cat's signature, and mine. My hands shook as I read the agreement. I put my head in my hands and felt little hands on my shoulders.

"Mommy," the little voice squeaked. "Please don't cry, mommy." I looked up and saw Olivia. I'd almost forgotten about her. What sort of a mother am I, forgetting my baby again?

"I'm not crying, see?" I forced out a smile and got up. "Are you hungry?" Olivia looked up at me, doubtful. She pursed her lips and twitched them. She pursed her lips and twitched them.

"No, not really," she said. "Jasper might be though." I nodded, agreeing. I took Olivia's hand and guided her to the kitchen where I made up a bottle and grabbed a little cloth, in case I spilled any. "Can I feed the baby?" I shook my head.

"Not today, sweetie, but maybe later. I'm just going to do it quickly then get him changed. Then we'll go to auntie Cat's, okay?"

"We just came back," Olivia said. "You had an argument."

"Yes, sweetheart I know." I brought her upstairs to the baby's room with me and sat her on the rocking chair. "Stay there; I'll only be a minute." I quickly fed Jasper and then changed him, putting him in fresh clothes. Then I took Livvy's hand and held Jasper and then took them to the car. I strapped them both in and I started the journey to Cat's.

We arrived after what seemed like an endless journey and I got the kids out of the car. Cat was waiting at the door when I reached the front of the house.

"Jade," she said quietly. Her voice sounded hoarse as if she'd been crying. She took Jasper so I could move properly and let me in. "Come in,"

She moved us through to the kitchen and we sat down. I told Livvy to go play and Cat nodded, bringing a hot cup of tea to the table for me. I thanked her and sipped it. Cat broke the silence, asking, "Where's Beck?"

I sighed and told her I didn't know. "You know," said Cat "I missed you."

"Huh?" I asked. Cat raised her eyebrow, and tucked a strand of magenta hair behind her pierced ear.

"I missed you. I missed Livvy and Jasper too." I looked down and breathed in; waiting for my chance to tell her I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Listen, Cat," I said. "I don't know if you'll believe this and I don't know why it happened, but I'm Jade, the Jade you knew a long time ago. Some fortune teller sent us."

"Are you crazy? That would've been me saying that ten years ago."

"Yes and I would not have believed you in a million years. But Cat, please believe me." Something in her eyes changed and she took my hand.

"Okay," she said "I believe you."

I sighed a huge sigh of relief and hugged her. I paused and then continued, "Cat, what happened between us?"

This time she paused. "So many things happened." She said sadly.

"Cat, what did I do?"

"It wasn't your fault," she said quickly. "You didn't know, and you were young."

"Please," I pleaded, looking at her seriously. "I need to know."

"Please don't be too hard on yourself, you weren't well," I stared at her, waiting and bracing myself. Cat hesitated, biting her lipstick covered lips and clenching her cup of tea just a little bit too tightly. "You didn't cope well with Livvy."

"So? Lots of new moms don't," I said nervously. "What makes me different?"

"You really didn't cope well. You got all sad and stuff and started…started being so different." I listened carefully, my heart racing whenever her breath hitched.

"Different?" I felt my nails dig into my sweaty palms and looked at her, studying her face.

"You stopped being you, Jade. I don't know. You weren't my Jade. You just stopped living. You barely ate or slept or did anything."

"You left me because I was sick?" I hissed. I heard Livvy running in, giggling. I turned to face her, still seething. Olivia took my hand and whispered into my ear. Her breath tickled my ear and made me smile.

"I'm a princess, mommy, don't let Jasper be the prince!" I lifted her up and kissed her cheek.

"No we won't let that happen," I said through gritted teeth. "Now go play, me and auntie Cat need to chat, princess." Livvy nodded and ran off. "Look after your brother! Don't take him out of the pram!"

I heard her squealing so I continued to talk to Cat, hushing my voice slightly. Cat locked her eyes on mine and continued talking and I could see that she was equally offended that I could say such a thing.

"Of course not, silly," Cat corrected gently "let me finish my story." I nodded. "After Beck left-"

"Beck left me?" I cried. I shook my head. "Why, why Cat?"

"He couldn't cope either, Jade…" I started to cry and Cat came and cradled me, gently closing the kitchen door to give us privacy.

"How could he leave me?"

"You weren't his Jade…you were sick," Cat tried to reason with me. I got up and started rambling, and Cat caught my arms, taking hold of my elbows. "Look," Cat hissed, turning me round to face the living room. She opened the window doors that looked into her front room, and pointed. "Look at your little girl, Jade. She needs you." I nodded.

"Just tell me what happened after."

"I took Livvy, because honestly Jade you just weren't well enough…you went to stay in hospital for a bit. They said it was bad post-natal depression, whatever that means."

"I love her so much. Honestly."

"I know you do." I felt like I would break down and cry again right then and there. Now I needed to find Beck and find out what happened…he couldn't tell me, no one could.

"You'd never leave me would you Cat?"

"Over my dead body, Jade, I promise."

A/N:

I'll update baby oh baby soon and then one step at a time too. Also, if you don't like reading what I write, it's really simple…don't read? Sorry if I sound petty but honestly, I'm only young and by no means professional, it's not going to be perfect. Thanks anyhow… :)

Oh, and by the way, "Livvy" and "Jasper" are on my page here on FanFiction if you wanna see what I think they'd look like. :)