Jade pulls out her phone from her back pocket and scrolls to the photos of Olivia. She presses her lips into a line, waiting for her father's seal of approval. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" Jade asks, smiling finally. Her dad nods.

"Yes, honey, she is. Lovely little lass." Jade nods and rocks on her heels.

"I love her so much." Jade states. She sighs, pained. She didn't understand how her mama could leave her. "Where's mama?" Adam frowns.

"You don't remember?" Jade shakes her head slowly. "I'll tell you. Sit down." She obeys, and sits down carefully, smoothing out the covers. "Your mama was very sad, when you were little. When you were five, mama had another baby." Jade blinks, suddenly coming over lightheaded.

"Why was she sad?" Jade asks, her voice raspy. Adam swallows noisily.

"She had a girl, and we called her Aubrey Mae. She was perfect, the spitting image of your mama - and you." Jade nods, tears brimming in her eyes already. "I stayed at home with you, and your grammy went with her, she liked it that way. It was supposed to be a lovely surprise for you, mama coming home with a little bundle, telling you all about the stalk that brought her."

"How did I not notice mama's bump? I was huge." Adam laughs dryly.

"We thought you would have, but you just told mama that she was getting fat."

"Oh!" Jade says, blushing. "Go on, daddy."

"We never got to take her home," Adam says. "Wait here." A tear spills down Jade's cheek. She wipes it and waits as she's told. Her dad gets a pile of documents from the file cupboard. He opens the file with shaking hands. Jade bites her lip as she sees tiny, tiny foot and hand prints, a curly lock of brunette hair, and a birth certificate. She also sees a weeny romper suit, much smaller than Livvy's when she was newborn.

"W-what happened to the baby, daddy?"

"She was stillborn, darling."

"My little sister...Aubrey Mae West, my little, tiny sister."

"Yes." Jade's dad chokes back tears. "It's been hard, especially your mama coming home from the hospital and having to kiss you, and look after you, and not being able to hold her newborn."

"Why didn't you tell me? Was there a funeral?"

"You were five years old! You couldn't understand Bambi's mom dying," Adam pauses. "There was no point in upsetting you."

"Sorry, daddy." He closes his eyes.

"It's fine, honey, I didn't mean to snap. It's still raw."

"And mama?" Jade asks quietly.

"She was very, very sad. Depressed."

"I understand that."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Honey, never ever, ever, leave me. You are so special. I need you."

"I won't."

"Good, honey," Adam sighs. "She couldn't cope, she went to her grave everyday, she loved her so much. I did, of course, too, but I had to focus on you, you were alive!"

"What did mama do?"

"She held on, for you, for a year or so, with breaks. She went to stay with gram, and cleared her head."

"And?"

"And then she gave up. I went to work, this was a few months after Claudia was here, so she was looking after you with mama, and when I returned from work, there was this big commotion, like someone had died..."

"Mama died?"

"Not yet," Adam takes a breath. "You were sitting in the corner, rocking in Claudia's lap. You'd found her, lying on the landing, passed out. You screamed for Claudia and then...she was taken to hospital. You visited once, because I didn't let you. I wish you had."

"The funeral?"

"You went. Clung onto your auntie Janie like a little monkey."

"Auntie Janie...This is so messed up."

"Why, honey?"

"I had no idea mama died. I thought the cat died."

"Oh, baby, no."

"Yes." Jade puts her head between her knees. "How could she leave me?"

"I don't know, Jade. Do I?"

"No, I hope not."

"I'm sorry. I should have kept a closer eye on your mother."

"What could you have done? You couldn't have stopped her topping herself, or hanging herself from the chandelier, or slitting her bony wrists." Jade shakes her head, growing angry. "How did she do it?"

"Sweetie, you don't want to know that."

"Yes, I do!"

"Really?"

"I loved her so much! And she left me!"

"She took too many sleeping pills. Maybe it wasn't on purpose."

"Was there a letter?" Jade's dad shifts awkwardly. "Was it for me?" He nods. "Can I see it?" He nods again. He fetches the letter. Jade opens it and then scans it.

To my dearest, darling Jade,

I hope you're grown now. Maybe you'll have babies of your own. Perhaps with that Beck chap, you always had a twinkle in your eye for him. The same twinkle I had for your daddy. You're only a baby yourself now, though. Five years old is nothing, though you strut around in those ballet shoes like you own the place. If only I could see that again. Maybe now, your daddy has told you about Aubrey. If not, now's my chance.

Aubrey Mae West. Such a pretty name. Pretty like yours, isn't it? Jade August West, my little superstar. She's your little sister. She's in heaven now. The angels needed her. I don't think that's a good enough excuse. We love her very much. I love you very much, my darling. More than life itself. Because you are my little ballerina, my twinkling star. I know you love me very much, sweetie. I know it from the way you grin at me, or the way you look up at me when you're laughing. Of all these things I'm not certain of, it's not your love. You're the most loving girl I know. You know mama loves you too? Of course you do. I hope you remember me. I hope you remember my handwriting. That's why this is handwritten.

I'm very sorry, my little sparrow, but I'm joining the angels. You'll understand one day. Please, don't hate me. You've always loved your daddy anyway, so enjoy him, and enjoy any future family you may gain. Don't be bitter. I know you though, and I know you will be. And that's okay. Your daddy will still love you. You're his little princess, and nothing on earth could ever replace that. Nothing will replace me, I know, but I need to make your birthday's special still. If your daddy has forgotten all about this letter, I bought you presents up until your 30th birthday. I may have gone overboard, but I want you to know that I love you so, so very much, and nothing will change that, okay? I promise.

I hope blue is still your favourite. I hope I'm your favourite mommy still.

I love you. Stay my baby. Stay my beautiful princess. Stay mine. It might hurt now, but you'll be able to say my name without wincing. Your children and your love with take away some of your pain. They will kiss it away. Blow me lots of kisses. Cuddle Razor extra tightly. Tell your loved ones that you love them everyday. Everyday, honey.

Don't join me too soon, my sweet.

All my love, your Mama.

Sorry about the wait, guys. I was going to upload yesterday but I had to rewrite this chapter as my laptop was being a total bitch and crashed on me lol. Anyhow, here it is.