Codename: Battleship

Spoilers: AU but can consider all Season One episodes. Read Battleship: SHIELD to understand or you WILL BE LOST.

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all

Grant Ward looked at himself in the mirror, the quarters he shared with Skye had been permanently been assigned to them by Director Hill. Even if they left on the Bus for months, the quarters would remain theirs or at least Skye's as they were technically for her not them. It'd been a week and Skye had yet to wake up or respond to anyone in any way. Her abilities had simmered down to the point they were non-existent. Simmons had theorized that as soon as they were completely gone she'd begin regaining consciousness but the doctor said not to hope too much.

Pavi had just spoken to him an hour before about the miscarriage and he was unable to describe what the loss meant. Skye's condition had placed him in a dark hole already but the fact that Garrett's last act had taken their child, he only wished he could bring the bastard back to life and kill him over and over again repeatedly. It was a grief that was consuming him and the one person he could speak with about it was unresponsive.

What more was when analyzing the blood stained sheets as was required, they'd found both Skye's DNA and that of a male. It only meant that their baby had been a boy, a son who he'd never play with or tuck into bed. The image of a boy with Skye's face and his eyes kept laying behind his eyelids every time he closed his eyes. He wanted to be strong for Skye but despite all his training, despite all the compartmentalizing he was skilled in, it seemed impossible. Never had anything affected him the way the loss of his son was doing to him. Even Skye's near death experiences didn't feel like everything in his body was being twisted in agonizing ways with no end in sight.

The buzzer to the quarters sounded and he left the bathroom to open the door. He found Coulson with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. Letting the man inside, he realized that the room was still as mess because Skye tended to leave stuff everywhere. It was a little quirk that he'd learned since their recovery from HYDRA, at the compound she didn't have much to leave laying out across a room but in their bunks and the room on the Helicarrier, she was good at leaving a mess he usually cleaned up.

"Destroy the room?" Coulson looked around to see clothes on the ground along with books in various places. Skye's field bag laid open across the bed with her two laptops hooked together so data could be transferred.

Ward rubbed his neck, "no, Skye tends to leave messes and I haven't had a chance to pick up yet."

Coulson made his way over to the table and chairs, placing the glasses down. "Simmons just told me that Pavi told you about the baby."

"It was a boy…" Ward grabbed one of the glasses he filled. "They analyzed the blood stains as required and discovered both Skye's DNA and that of our son."

The lead agent sat down and cupped the glass in his hand, "my condolences…"

"I don't want condolences, I want to raise Garrett from the grave and kill him repeatedly so he suffers. His last act was the murder of our son," Ward threw back the drink and put the glass on the table. "As if he hadn't caused Skye to suffer enough, now he kills our child and gets away without answering for it."

Coulson sighed and watched the agent before him placed his head in his hands. "You're trying to sort it away but it's not working."

"I'd give anything not to think about this with every second that passes." Ward picked up his head, shaking it slightly. "I just keep seeing a combination of both of us every time I close my eyes, an innocent and perfect combination. I keep imagining what will never be, what we'll never get to do with him and the fact Skye won't get to hold him is...she would have been a good mom for him, the best mom."

"Talk to Romanoff and Barton, not many know it but they went through this about two years ago. They might be able to help you with ways to cope."

Ward's brow furrowed, "but it's common knowledge that the Red Room…"

"Hence the miscarriage, the difference is that the opportunity wasn't stolen from Skye's future like it was from Romanoff. Just keep that in mind when you talk to them and tell them that I told you, so they don't try to kill you."

Buzzing on their quarters, Ward waited and the door opened to show Natasha. She wore jeans and a SHIELD training shirt but looked to be like she'd been relaxing. She only smiled and let him in without a word. Clint sat at a table polishing weapons as well as repairing his arrows it seemed.

"What can I help you with Grant?"

Ward rubbed the back of his neck, "Coulson sent me to you, said you could help me with something. Normally I wouldn't…I need to be there for Skye and I can't do that if I don't know how to cope myself."

Natasha sat down and smiled at him, "what's going on?"

"Skye had a miscarriage due to being shot…"

He watched both agents go still before Clint looked up at him, "girl or boy, they should have analyzed the blood to find two sets of DNA."

"Boy…"

"I'll make us some coffee, vodka on the side." Natasha went over to the small kitchen that was a part of the quarters.

Clint kicked out the chair and nodded to it, Ward sat down and watched the archer put up the weapons that lay on the table. He walked over to a safe and opened it, removing something before closing it and returning to the table.

"Normally we wouldn't tell anyone or discuss it but since Coulson sent you…" Clint placed down a generated photo of a little girl. "Ours was a girl, at first it was like living in hell…"

"I've known for a few hours and…when does it go away?"

Natasha walked over, "it never goes away, the raw knowledge that your child was taken from you. You keep them in the back of your mind as a happy memory, a memory that you escape to when you're under torture or in pain you can't think of living anymore. You also know that despite not being able to hold and love them, they aren't existing in this maddening world that is full of people that could hurt them."

Clint sighed and picked up the picture, "Doc Regan was able to generate a photo from our daughter's genetics of what she'd have looked like. Nat and I, kids aren't an option so we knew she was going to be our only one. We gave her a name and every year on what would have been her birthday we go do something for her, we live a moment for her. Last year it was ice skating and the year before that we went to the zoo."

Ward took the photo and looked at it, taking in the green eyes and brown locks that framed an angelic face. "What was her name?"

"Her name is Irina," Natasha took the photo and placed it on the pile of paperwork. "You're going to be consumed by grief for a while and angry at Garrett. I've wanted to murder the Red Room repeatedly for what they did to cause us to lose our daughter but in the end I know that without them she wouldn't have existed to begin with and I wouldn't have her father. Skye did something close to a miracle, she gave back the lives of at least a dozen agents and while you lost your child…the sacrifice gave back parents and children to others. In the end, your son's death came as he helped give life back to a dozen people…to you."

He hadn't thought of his son's life being sacrificed for others, he'd been too consumed by the grief. Romanoff had made a valid point in saying that while his son had died, he'd died with a purpose and a dozen people lived because of it including his father. While part of him wished to trade for his son he knew it wasn't possible, he'd read the reports and knew that Garrett has shot Skye after Garrett had shot him. There was no way for him to change what happened, the gun had gone off after Skye unleashed herself and in her last breaths had brought back the lives of everyone that had died. The sacrifice for a dozen agents, himself included, had been an innocent soul so like his mother.

"I never thought…"

Natasha smiled, "most never do. Don't let yourself be consumed by the pain, just remember him and know that you are able to live for him now. You need to stay strong for Skye because she's going to feel it in ways you aren't able to understand."

Clint nodded at him, "don't tell her you understand because you won't be able to. Just tell her that you're there for her every step of the way. Share the loss and the pain and I promise, it'll help. It may take weeks or years but when she tries to talk about him, don't shut her out and listen instead to what she has to say. Share with her what you imagined doing with your son as well."

"Thank you." Ward stood up and looked at them both. "I didn't imagine you'd be sharing this much but you've helped."

"Give him a name, make the decision with Skye and give your son a name so he isn't just called 'the baby'. It'll help with the process much faster, it was a suggestion by the shrink onboard and it worked."

A/N: Next we will revisit Skye and also see Fitzsimmons trying to be helpful despite making things worse.