A/N: This is from Jade's POV, obviously. I don't know how Cat would do this, but she's pretty amazing :P There's only like 3 chapters left, guys! Ooh, it's been a great time, though, hasn't it? Review please..if you want. (:
"Your daddy loves you," I say softly, but firmly, kissing Olivia's brown curls in the moonlight, breathing in the strawberry kid's shampoo. She nuzzled into my chest and I sighed deeply."He's just a little confused right now, isn't he, darling? Yes, that's it. He's upset because too much is going on. It's okay," I say, for my benefit as well as hers. I shh her little whines and cries. She's tired and needs to go to bed, much like her mama, but I rest my head on hers.
Olivia babbles, and then turns to face me, a perplexed look of confusion illustrating her. "Why Dada gone?" She asks, her eyes filling, brimming at the waterline with tears.
"Don't cry, baby," I say, my voice breaking. "Please, don't cry." I close my eyes and take a deep, shaky breath, and make my face and attitude cheery, on the behalf of my baby daughter, for whom I have to be strong, I reminded myself. "Now, how about we put you in the bath, and then bed?" I suggest, forcing a smile.
"No, Mommy, no!" Olivia squeals, all thoughts of Beck out of the window. I smile at the little girl who means the whole world to me.
"Yes, Livvy, yes!" I smile, not so forced this time, and tickle her. "Bath time."
Once Olivia is in bed, fast asleep, I smooth her hair and tip-toe out of her nursery box room, and go to the spare room, where Jasper is grizzling, starting to properly whinge. If I leave him much longer he will start to scream, and wake Olivia up. Cat ambles out of her room, a magazine in one hand, a cigarette in the other. Her sleeping-in t-shirt is crumpled.
"I'm just getting the baby." I say, smiling at her. She nods, taking one final drag of the cigarette. She scrapes her hair back and tips the ash into the tray on the sideboard.
"Go get baba. Are you bathing him?" I shake my head.
"No, there isn't much point."
"Mm, I agree. The minute he's clean, he's dirty again!" Cat laughs, a little raspy because she is whispering. "You go to bed. I'll get him sorted." She stubs out her cigarette and reaches for him. I hand him over gratefully and stretch my arms, while Cat rubs his little back.
"I think I'll have a bath," I announce, yawning. I run the bath water warm and wait, sitting on the edge of the bath, for the steam to consume the fresh air circulating. I turn the water off and step in. I close my eyes and let the hot water calm me.
"Jazzy, you messy boy!" Cat squeals, kissing his tiny hands and feet. "Your mammy is tired, you know? So be a good little boy, and go to sleep, huh, baby? You'd do that for your old Aunt Kitty, wouldn't you? Yes, you would!" She coos. "And for your big sissy and your Mommy." She hugs him close to her chest and rocks him gently. I smile wanly at her and she rests the side of her head on his.
"They're lucky to have a Mama like you. I wish I did," Cat says, sighing sadly.
"Yes," I say, wistfully. "But I'm only good because your mother was terrible."
"Mm. But Dad was lovely, when I was growing up. I miss him so much now, you know."
"I'm sorry," I say, looking down. I take Jasper. She doesn't seem to know what to do with her hands so I take one of them. "We'll get through this together, like always? I'll look after you." I say, hopeful. Cat's face breaks into a smile, broad and lighting up the whole room. I love seeing her smile. She doesn't do it often enough.
"Yes. Yes, of course. Of course we will. We'll look after each other, babe." Cat says, stammering but confident, using the name she hadn't used since our early twenties. I smile shakily. I squeeze her hands and go to put the baby to bed. I lay his head down first, and then ease the rest of him into the crib. "There, there," I say, as he screws up his face. Thankfully he doesn't cry, and I watch him for awhile. Maybe I'll have a sleep. Yes, that's what I'll do. It's only seven. I'll get up in half an hour. I fall into bed and then into a deep slumber, closing my eyes gratefully.
"Jade!" Cat calls, sounding panicked. I don't bolt right up instantly like I knew I should have at the sound of her voice.
"What?" I mumble, leaning further under the covers of my bed, blinking the sleep from my eyes hazily. Was it morning?
"It's Beck...he's..." I groan at his name.
"He's what, Cat? What's he done now, for goodness sake? For badness sake!" I give a dry laugh at the end, but her face is serious and she sits me on her bed where Jasper lies in her arms. I reach out my arms, for they ache for the light weight of my newest baby. Cat's face falls, crumpling upon meeting my eyes. I know she's forgiven me, at that moment, for all I'd put her through.
"He's in hospital, babe. He's just gone and tried to commit suicide! Jade, I'm so sorry."
My head spirals and all I feel is the blackness engulfing me, sweeping me away with it, and sucking the happiness away from me.