It was the twitchy nervousness before calling Antonio that usually made Lovina decide against it, and it was the cheery Hola that finished the job if she hadn't hung up already. With that in mind, how could she find the courage to call him now…?

Yes, she knew it was important and unavoidable, like his wedding proposal, but she couldn't find it in herself to press "call".

Biting at her lip, she found her palms shaking and sweat had begun to form upon her forehead in cold droplets… Lovina clicked her phone to shut off the screen and released a heavy breath. She was too apprehensive to call Antonio now; she needed to get someone else's opinion first and relax a little. Turning her phone back on and clearing out Antonio's number, she typed in another one… She walked nervously over to the bow window in her bedroom and sat beside it, leaning against a cushion.

God was she too young to be a mother…

She almost considered disregarding this ever happened and going to sleep, but she forced herself to press the "call" button this time.

"Ciao! Ciao! This is Feliciana~!" the happy tone her sister always had was almost sickening in the current situation. "What's-a up, Lovi?" Lovina huffed miserably, and this seemed to grab her sister's attention. "Is something wrong?"

"N…No," Lovina mumbled at first, listening to hear Feli's reply and tapping her first finger against the back of her phone.

"Oh, okay!"

Lovi nearly threw the phone.

"Of course something's-a wrong, you idiota!" Lovina practically growled; her fingers tightened until the tips were white on her phone.

"O-Oh, no need to yell, sorella!" she stuttered, and Lovina tried to calm herself. "What's-a wrong?"

Why was this so hard? Just tell her you're pregnant, she thought to herself, angry tears bubbling in her eyes.

How could she let this happen? Antonio and she had only done it once… only once had they made love. It was the only time Lovina had let him get closer, invade her personal barrier, and she'd been slammed and shit-faced at the time. She had let him. She had wanted him.

Why did she have to get pregnant?

Lovina could barely make herself say those words.

"I'm pregnant."

Mumbles… That's all they were.

Feliciana asked for her to repeat, and Lovina hesitated.

"It's… It's nothing."

"You can tell me anything, sorella." Lovina shivered at those words, holding one of her arms with a hand as bumps scattered over her skin. It was haunting, to hear a truth that seemed so false. It was like the first time Antonio had said I love you.

It was a hot day in summer when it happened. The sun was beating down with no restraint, and Lovina had been helping Antonio pick tomatoes in his garden. Sweat was pouring off of both of them, and their fingers had been stained both red and green from the tomatoes' juice and stems. Antonio had said something flattering to Lovina, and she'd simply replied with a grimace and light cursing under her breath.

That's when everything changed. Somehow, Antonio had managed to tangle his sandal-wearing foot in a vine and tripped, head over heels, right into Lovina. They landed on the ground with a heavy thud, crushing a few of the tomato plants. Lovina had expected Antonio to be angry with the smashed plants, but when she opened her eyes to look at him, she saw his emerald eyes locked on her. His fingers tightened a little around her waist, where they had gone when he fell, and he pressed his lips to hers.

Rough, dry, and tainted with the taste of tomato and light saltiness from sweat… That's how she remembered their first, real kiss. Lovina recalled pushing her lips against his, placing her fingers in his hair. She could still see the silent surprise that came to the Spaniard's eyes when she did so and how his eyes closed seconds afterwards to embrace the kiss with his full attention.

Lovina could even still hear the cry of surprise from the Belgian girlfriend Antonio had at the time when she caught them together…

She missed it. Just Lovina and Antonio, locked mouth-to-mouth and knocked over in the middle of the tomato plants…

When was the last time they were like that…?

…Just the two of them…

"Lovi… Lovi!" Lovina snapped back to reality at the yell that erupted over the other end of the cell phone. She nearly dropped it, and she clutched her other, sweaty hand around it.

"Wh-What is it…?!"

"You still need to tell me what's-a wrong…"

Lovina felt herself sigh. There was no point in hiding it from Feliciana… It could only make things easier, right? …to have someone know the truth and not be totally alone in this? Besides, Feli would eventually find out anyways, so why not?

"Feli, you have to keep-a this a secret," she muttered bitterly. She heard Feliciana take a deep breath on the other end.

"Of course…!"

Lovina took a deep breath and confessed pathetically, her voice crackling and dying in the tears that followed, "Feliciana… I'm pregnant." What came afterwards made her heart sink.

"Lovi…" Feliciana made an audible gasp, and Lovina heard a deep German voice on the phone. It was Ludwig, grumbling something to Feliciana about being irresponsible and being disorganized.

"Lovi, I have to go…"

"Feli… Feliciana!" Lovina's tears made her voice come out in more of a croak than a call, "Sor-Sorella,please don't hang up…!"

...Dialtones…

"S-Sorella…" Lovina gasped, letting the cell phone slip from her fingers.

Pregnant.

She couldn't believe it, and she couldn't deal with this alone… She couldn't.

"Sorella… Sorella, I need you…," she mouthed breathlessly, voicelessly to herself.

She sat alone, sobbing until her body shook, as the rain traveled down the glass of the window and the storm continued uncaringly outside…