Mourning
Amber had come to try reasoning with me about living with the Cullens. Now we sat on the porch looking at the stars.
"This is ridiculous though," insists Amber.
"How is it ridiculous? I love him," I say.
"So you're just gonna leave your pack because of a vampire?" asks Amber.
"I thought you of all people would understand. You're always telling me to fight for what I want and the one time I do, it's wrong," I say.
"I didn't mean give up your family and friends for a guy. If you have to turn your back on everyone then he's not worth it," says Amber.
"I didn't turn my back on them. They turned their backs on me," I say as I touch my nose.
"They bit your nose?" asks Amber incredulously.
"All of them except Jacob. He licked my nose," I say, rubbing my nose. "I've been exiled until I can get my priorities in line."
"Wow. That's never happened before. Has it?" asks Amber.
"I don't know. I never paid much attention to the legends," I say.
"Bella, you're supposed to pay attention to the legends. They're fascinating," says Amber. I sigh and look up at the sky.
"I'm not going back to them. I've chosen my path," I murmur.
"Then I guess my work here is done," says Amber, as she stands up and jumps off of the porch. "I'll see you when you decide to come back." She walks away without a backwards glance.
Tears threaten to spill again as I watch her retreating figure disappear into the woods. I felt the need to mourn for my losses because it felt as though I had just lost my entire pack. I remove my clothes-not caring if I was seen or not-and transform.
I run to the highest ground outside of the treaty line and begin to howl at the moon. I howl for a long time, mourning for each of my pack members. They would be dead to me now. I had no other choice, but to see it that way. I would howl all night until the sun came up. This was the way of the pack. When my parents had died the entire pack howled for their loss. Quil, Embry and I howled the loudest. We had lost the most.
Then I hear a chorus of different howls. Eight distinctive howls carried in the soft breeze. They mourned for my loss as well. We were dead to each other from now on. Then I realized that I could no longer hear eight other voices in my head. It was just me. When the sun began to peak over the horizon the howls cease. I howl one last time and go back to Edward's house.
When I arrive at Edward's he was standing on the porch. He seemed confused. I climb up the steps and lie down under the shade of the large cedar by the porch. Edward comes and sits next to me.
"Esme is making breakfast," says Edward. I shake my head and look away. I had no appetite for food. I was still mourning. Edward sighs heavily. "You need to eat. You didn't get dinner last night." I stand up and turn so my back's to Edward and lay back down.
That night, Carlisle comes home and looks at me still lying on the porch in the now falling rain. Edward was holding an umbrella over us, but I kept scooting away from it so I was soaked.
"What's going here?" asks Carlisle.
"Bella won't eat. She just lays here and whines," says Edward. Carlisle looks back at me and crouches down before petting my head.
"It seems to me that she just wants left alone for a while," says Carlisle. I yip my agreement and Carlisle chuckles.
"She hasn't eaten since we got back from the meadow yesterday, after the incident," says Edward.
"She's upset, Edward. She just lost her friends and family," says Carlisle. I sit up and nod before whining again.
"How can I help?" asks Edward desperately.
"Leave her alone to think things through. She'll come to you when she's ready," says Carlisle. I nod eagerly, my tail wagging slightly.
"I can't just leave her," says Edward. I groan and plop back down before whining.
"Just go inside and leave her alone, Edward. It's obviously what she wants," says Carlisle. Edward groans and stands up before following Carlisle inside, with a longing glance at me. I would repay him for the sacrifice. It probably hurt to know I didn't want his company at the moment.
Soon after they go inside, the rain picks up and thunder crashes and lightening flashes, illuminating the dark sky. Facing the woods, I notice a figure coming towards me, getting closer and closer with every flash of lightening until it was at the porch. Then I catch the scent and realize it was Amber with an umbrella.
I immediately sit up and my tail begins to wag on its own accord. Amber had come back to me! I bark happily and run down the steps to meet her. Amber pets my head.
"You're absolutely soaked Bella," chastises Amber. "Let's go inside so we can talk. Is that okay?" I nod and lead her up the steps to the front door. Amber opens the door for me and I lead her inside. Amber scrunches her nose in distaste.
The whole family was immediately there. Esme had towels. I wanted to shake off the water so badly, but I knew Esme wouldn't be too happy.
"I'll get her dried off," offers Amber. Esme hands Amber the towels.
"We'll give you two your privacy," says Esme, and suddenly the room was empty.
"Shake," says Amber. Suddenly I couldn't control the urge any longer. I shake and the water in my fur goes everywhere. Amber giggles and begins laying the towels on the floor for me to roll on. Once I was dry enough, Amber picks up the clothes that just happened to be my size that were sitting on the couch. I transform and get dressed before sitting down on the couch.
"I came to apologize," says Amber as she sits next to me.
"Why?" I ask.
"I didn't mean those things I told you yesterday. Sam hoped that if I turned my back on you too, you'd come home," says Amber.
"I already told him I was staying with Edward. I meant that," I whisper. Amber wraps her arm around my shoulder and sighs.
"Well, I agree with your decision wholeheartedly. You and Edward are a cute couple. Plus, he's pretty handsome," says Amber with a giggle. I giggle with her and blush.
"The rest of my family has abandoned me though," I whisper.
"Quil and Embry will forgive you soon enough. Once everyone has had a chance to think about your decision they'll all come to their senses," says Amber.
"Thanks for coming Amber," I whisper.
"Anytime. Now I gotta go before my parents murder me," says Amber, standing up. I stand up as well, and we hug.
"I'll see you soon," I say.
"Of course! We have all summer to hang out," says Amber, before walking towards the door. I follow her and watch as she leaves.
Suddenly I could feel eyes on me. I turn around and find the Cullens sitting around the living room like they'd been there the whole time, except they were glancing at me out of the corners of their eyes.
"I would like to talk to Edward alone if it's not too much trouble," I say, and suddenly the room was empty again except for Edward who was sitting on the couch. I w2alk over and grab his hand.
"Where are we going?' asks Edward.
"Upstairs," I whisper, blushing. Edward follows me up to his room where we sit on the couch.
"What are we going to talk about?"
"I'm sorry for pushing you away today. It's not the first time I've pushed people away when I was upset," I say.
"I just don't understand why you did it," says Edward.
"I don't like people seeing me sad," I admit.
"I want to be able to be there for you," says Edward as he takes my hand in his. I bring our hands up to my lips and kiss his hand.
"I love you, and I hope you can forgive me," I whisper.
"Of course I forgive you," says Edward as if the idea of him not forgiving me was the craziest thing he'd ever heard. I lay my head on his shoulder as a new set of tears begin to stream down my face. I quickly wipe them away.
"Amber thinks they'll be back," I whisper.
"Of course they will," says Edward.
"I love you, Edward, and if exile was the price I had to pay to love you then I'm glad I paid it. The pack isn't worth losing you," I whisper. Edward coaxes my face up and kisses me.
"I love you as well. You are my life now," whispers Edward.
End Chapter
Thank you for reading chapter nine as well as for the reviews so far! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I already have an idea for a new story turning in my head, but I have to watch Phantom of the Opera first. That's all I'm saying though! You can guess my plan if you want. Feel free to give me suggestions for this story and the one I plan on working on soon. Sayonara for now!!