Sorry that the last chapter wasn't in italics. It was in the past - I'm just too stupid to remember to put it in italics. :)
"You're what?" Jade stammers, and Cat nods miserably. "And...it's Robbie's?"
"Yes," Cat snaps, snatching her hand away and then leaning on Jade anyway. "What do you think I am?"
"A strong, amazing girl that will be an excellent mother - when the time is right. Is that now?"
"It will have to be," Cat says, wiping her face. "I can't get rid of my baby. I can feel her already. She's like a butterfly, fluttering about in there."
"Her?" Jade smiles, rubbing Cat's cold arm reassuringly.
"Yes, her. I'm sure of it. I can feel her, I'm sure of it. And I could never give her away. I love her already, too."
"I know," Jade says. "I remember the feeling. It's strange, isn't it? So intimate, just the two of you for nine whole months."
"I'm going to be a good mom. I am," she insists. Jade knows where her thoughts are heading - to her own troubled childhood, to her father forcing pills into her mouth - her mother's eventual departure from her life, her big brother's spiral into mental illness. "I won't be like my parents. Robbie's a good boy, really. He'll be a good dad, like Beck. And I'll be like you, Jade," Cat says firmly, nodding to herself.
Jade laughs. "I sincerely hope not."
"What do you mean, Jade? You want me not to love my child unconditionally, no matter what? You want me not to do my best, muddling through whatever life throws at me? Do you not want me to stay with the boy I've loved since I was 15? Do you not want me to get a job that I love doing, after all that I've been through? Because that's what you've done. And I'm so proud of you, Jadey."
And then the two hugged it out, hoping for the best and hoping that they'd always have moments like that.
They didn't know how wrong they could be.
"Beck," Cat smiles, shyly stepping down the stairs. "I have some news I'd like to tell you,"
"Oh?" Beck smiles. He doesn't know where she's heading, but he's excited nonetheless. "What is it, little red?"
"I'm going to be a Mommy!"
"Oh, wow!" He says, hugging her tightly. If he could he would spin her around but he just kisses her head and smiles down at her. "Congratulations to the new mommy, then!"
"Thanks, Beck," she says sweetly. "I can't wait to get the nursery sorted!"
Things changed in the months that were to follow. Robbie came around, and he began to feel the excitement that many first time fathers experience - the buzz when Cat's once flat-as-a-pancake belly started to round into a definite shape at around twelve weeks, and then finally being able to tell other people, like his parents, and Tori, Andre, and various other relatives - Cat's brother, aunts, uncles.
After the initial happiness had worn off, Cat's attitude began to make a gradual shift.
She didn't buy baby clothes, she shied away from everyone, she acted nervous and paranoid.
Jade watched her carefully, but shook off her initial worries and queries, passing them off as just that - worries. Cat was fine. She had that glow that was promised when you were pregnant. The one Jade never got.
Jade didn't resent Cat. This baby would be the making of her, she thought.
Still, weeks passed and Cat didn't grow more enthusiastic. At fourteen weeks, Jade had a frank discussion with her.
"Cat, I need to talk to you."
"Huh?" Cat asked. She had been spaced out, too, another symptom that Jade had made a mental note of.
"I need to talk to you." She sighed, "You can't have this baby if she's unwanted," Jade pushed on, cringing internally. She felt as if she was preaching to the choir. Cat had said this time and time again to Jade, and it never sunk it. It was her body, and her baby. Why would she listen to Cat?
Now she understood.
She understood the worried look in Cat's eyes when she wouldn't eat, sleep, move...
She understood. Pushing her own feelings aside, she had to do what was best for Cat. Taking a deep breath, Jade began to speak, "If...if this isn't right for you, if this baby won't be loved, wanted...it isn't too late."
Cat's face crumples and she puts her head in her hands. "I can't do it, I've called myself mommy, I've seen her, I've told people about her. We've got a name list for her..."
"It's your body, Cat," Jade says, and before she can stop herself, she continues. "If you don't want this baby..I just don't know what I'll be able to do. I can't cope with my own kids, I wouldn't be able to take yours, like you did for me."
"I helped you when you weren't even here..and you're telling me to kill my baby, just so you don't have to help?"
"No, Cat, I-" Jade tries, but Cat is past the point of return and Jade is losing her fast.
"I can't believe you! After all I've done for you and you're telling me this. I should've listened to everyone else in high school! I should have! Get out! Go to your own house! I never want to see you again!"