Sango: the author still doesn't own the show.
Miroku: Sango, Sesshoumaru's gone, thank kami.
Sango: any idea what our authoress plans to do with Tenseiga?
Miroku: yeah, but I don't think it's gonna work.
Chapter Twenty-four: Plans for Farewell
XoXoXo
Dawn was breaking in and Kagome wanted to take Helen, still unconscious, with her and away from Sesshoumaru. "No," Sesshoumaru said flatly. "I am taking her to Lady Shinsuke…" his voice had trailed off and Kagome didn't bother to argue with him.
"She'll be fine," Inuyasha said as they left. Kagome nodded but sighed.
When they had gone, Kagura stepped out of the shadows and approached Sesshoumaru. Helen was lying against a tree behind him; he was looking up at the rising sun and she wondered what he was thinking about. She had a million guesses about what it was that occupied his thoughts, but with Sesshoumaru, you couldn't be so sure.
She stood beside him, pretending to admire the sunrise when in truth, there was a question in her mind that she wanted to voice out, but couldn't. "Sesshoumaru," she finally said after a long silence which she decided to break. "Will…you answer my question?"
He glanced sharply at her. Kagura faltered a bit before she went on. "Helen…do you love her…?"
The youkai beside her narrowed his eyes but didn't bother to answer her question.
XoXoXo
Helen became aware that there was a bright light on her face. The warmth of what she suspected to be sunlight as well as the light itself on her eyes what was what woke her up from her state of unconsciousness. She didn't want to open her eyes just yet. Frankly, she had no idea what had happened to her after Naraku took back his heart. But she remembered-with a sinking feeling-admitting the fact, for the entire world to hear, that she was in love with Sesshoumaru.
She inwardly groaned. Why did she have to go and say it in front of everyone else-especially him? She could stomach admitting it to Inuyasha and the others, but certainly not to him. She wondered what Sesshoumaru-wherever he was-was thinking about. I bet he's disgusted with me…she thought. She didn't remember anything else that had happened before admitting that she loved him and the thought of what sort of ridiculous actions she did while under Naraku's influence, plagued her like hell.
She inwardly sighed again and slowly opened her eyes.
Bright sunlight was spilling through the leaves of the tree under which she sat. She shielded her eyes from the light with her palm. She slowly leaned against her elbows to see where she was and what had happened.
Sesshoumaru and Kagura were standing a few meters away from her. Neither one of them was aware that she awake. They were talking; she couldn't make out what they were saying-she was much too far away.
They…look happy together…Conflicted feelings rose in Helen. She loved him, but she knew perfectly well that he didn't love her…he loved Kagura. She was suddenly aware of an emotional pain within her. As she looked at Sesshoumaru and Kagura, standing and talking together, the sadness within her increased tenfold. She knew he wouldn't love her, knew that he wanted Kagura.
I…just can't interfere with them anymore…the young woman thought as she slowly stood up. She still stared at them. Their backs were turned to her so that they didn't see her stand up. They love each other…I can't…I have no right…to interfere…I…I…I have to…leave…
And that was what she did. Very quietly, and very discreetly, she left them and vanished into the forest.
XoXoXo
"You haven't answered my question yet," Kagura said softly, directing her attention to Sesshoumaru.
"You have asked a lot of questions to which I have given sufficient answers," Sesshoumaru said.
"There was one question you didn't answer," said Kagura. "Whether or not…you love Helen."
Sesshoumaru was silent. When he heard Helen admit that she loved him, for an instant, he felt a wild fleeting joy, something he had not felt in a long, long time. But he was certain that that feeling had only been an illusion. "Why must I answer it?" he asked.
Kagura flared. "Because I cannot stand it anymore!" the wind witch cried out. "I cannot stand the fact that she loves you! I have suspected it for a while now…but now that she has admitted it…I cannot stand it! Sesshoumaru, answer me!"
He turned so sharply towards her, that she was stunned into silence. "The answer I shall give you," Sesshoumaru said softly, "is this…there is no reason for you to feel jealous."
A relieved look fell on Kagura's face, but Sesshoumaru wasn't so sure of his answer. Kagura turned towards Helen and her eyes widened. "She's gone!" Sesshoumaru spun around Helen was indeed gone.
"She must have left," he said quietly.
Kagura turned her sharp eyes towards him. "Well? Are you going to make sure that she's alright?"
Sesshoumaru turned and walked off. "Not necessary."
XoXoXo
Helen walked out of the forest and sighed heavily as she allowed her piercing blue eyes to look across the skies. She looked back into the forest, as if she could see him, as if he could hear her. "Goodbye…" she whispered softly and began walking to a destination unknown.
"Lady, it seems as if you have a penchant for coming out of forests unescorted," a silky voice said. Helen, who had been thinking so much of Sesshoumaru, felt her heart pound, thinking that he had come after her. She spun around and momentarily felt disappointment set in for the person to whom she had faced was Toshimaru.
She half bowed. "My lord," she said softly.
The young man tilted his head slightly. "Toshimaru, lady, may I ask what are you doing here?"
Helen sighed. "It's…I…Toshimaru…could you take me to my mother…?" She slightly surprised herself when she referred to lady Shinsuke as mother. Emotion spilled from the dam she had built. She ran towards Toshimaru and embraced him, crying. "Please! Take me to my mother!"
She felt the inu youkai's arms wrap themselves snugly around her shoulders. She thought, for a moment, of Sesshoumaru and a fresh wave of tears burst from her eyes. "Why are you crying…?" he asked softly. Helen only shook her head and buried herself in his arms, as if he would shield her from the pain.
"Has it…anything to do with…Sesshoumaru?"
Helen didn't answer, instead, she cried even louder. Toshimaru cupped her face in his hands and gently wiped away the tears with his thumbs. "If it is too painful to discuss…I shall not ask…Come, I shall take you to Lady Shinsuke as you wish."
XoXoXo
Helen thanked one of the many servants who escorted her to Lady Shinsuke's chamber. Helen slowly let out a breath. She wanted to leave; she would tell her mother this…and she would not come back. She slowly entered her mother's room.
Lady Shinsuke was sitting up in bed. She had heard her daughter approaching and since she was still asleep-for it was still very early for her taste-had immediately woken up. Like all good mothers, before she saw her daughter, she had had a feeling that something was not quite right.
Helen calmly approached her mother and knelt beside the demoness's bed. Her mother hadn't even changed out of the kimono she wore to bed. "What is it that troubles you?" Shinsuke asked. She watched as her daughter bowed her head, her tresses covering her face, but her mother could smell and sense the tears.
"I…want to leave…" Helen said softly, without looking up at her.
"Leave? I do not understand." Shinsuke narrowed her eyes in a quizzical manner at her child.
"Yes…" Helen said softly. "I want to leave…not just this time…I want to leave this country…I want to return to America…"
Shinsuke didn't have time to wonder where this country she wished to return to was. The mother gently tilted her child's chin upwards so that they looked at each other. Two fat tears were rolling slowly down Helen's cheek. "Does this…have anything to do with Sesshoumaru?" she asked although she already knew the answer.
Helen nodded slowly. "What has he done to you?" Shinsuke inquired.
"He…I…oh, mother," Helen cried as she flung her arms around her mother, who was taken aback at the sudden rush of affection that her daughter showed. "Mother…I…love him!"
Shinsuke held her daughter close to her. "Tell me why you wish to leave him," she murmured gently. And so, Helen told her. She told her about Naraku asking for her in exchange for Kagura and Shinsuke's eyes widened but she made no sound; she told her about Naraku giving her his heart-literally. She told her about admitting to everyone-even Sesshoumaru-that she was in love with him.
When Helen had finished, she looked up at her mother. "So you see why I want to leave…" she said softly as she gently removed the necklace she was wearing. "I wish you would understand…" She handed her mother the necklace. Shinsuke clasped it in her hand as she said, "I do not think that Lady Takeida will be pleased…but…if you truly wish to leave…I shall not stop you."
Helen smiled at her and embraced her. "Thank you…I won't forget about you, mother."
"Nor I you," Shinsuke said as she closed her eyes and embraced her child who had only stayed so briefly in her life and was now leaving again.
XoXoXo
"A summons from my mother?" Sesshoumaru asked Toshimaru to whom Lady Takeida-having been told of what had happened by Lady Shinsuke-had entrusted the task of summoning her son, whom she was thinking of throttling.
Toshimaru tilted his head slightly at his cousin. "Oh yes," he said. He was not pleased with whatever Sesshoumaru had done to make Helen so upset. "She says that it is…of the utmost importance and"-his eyes slid to Kagura who glared at him-"she requests that you do not bring her…or her stench with you."
Kagura looked as if she had been slapped; she glared at Toshimaru, hand clenched tightly around her fan. "I wouldn't even think it, lady," Toshimaru said softly, seeing where her hand was. "An accessory hardly counts as a weapon."
Sesshoumaru stepped forward and repressed the urge to kill his cousin. "Very well, I shall come with you. Kagura, watch Rin."
The wind witch watched as Sesshoumaru and Toshimaru flew off.
XoXoXo
"Do you think Helen's fine?" Kagome asked Inuyasha as they sat around inside Kaede's hut. Kohaku and Shippou, exhausted, had fallen asleep on the mat behind Sango.
Miroku looked thoughtful. "I do not think she is…emotionally anyway," the monk said.
Kagome and the others raised their eyebrows at him. "What do you mean?" Kagome inquired.
"I mean," Miroku went on. "She admitted that she's in love with Sesshoumaru"-Inuyasha rolled his eyes and pretended to gag at this-"but Sesshoumaru is-or maybe not, you can never be too sure with him-in love with Kagura…do you see what I mean? And besides…she nearly killed him."
They were all silent for some time. "If you ask me, Sesshoumaru is jinxed when it comes to love," Inuyasha muttered under his breath. "Remember Sara?" Everyone nodded as they remembered the unfortunate princess who foolishly succumbed to demons all because of her love for Sesshoumaru.
"Then that only proves that you and Sesshoumaru are related," Sango said dryly buy quickly glanced at Kagome to see if her joke affected the priestess. She was relieved to see that Kagome was smiling.
They were silent once more. "I think I should return to the present," Kagome said as she checked her backpack to see how they were holding up on supplies. "We're way low on supplies and-"
"No way in hell you're going back there!" Inuyasha snapped. "Since Helen came, you've been going back and forth for an uncountable number of times."
Kagome gave him an annoyed look. "I have to go back," she said. The truth was, she wanted to go find Helen and see how she was doing but Inuyasha, predictably, wouldn't let her. "Besides, I'll only be a while."
"Fine…But I'm coming with you," the hanyou said as Kagome sighed.
XoXoXo
Helen sighed to herself as she approached the well. She turned back to see Toshimaru regarding her intently. "He is a fool, you know," he said softly, his eyes piercing into her own.
The young woman bowed her head-she knew who Toshimaru was talking about. "I would be happy knowing that I was betrothed to you," he said softly. She gave him a small smile.
"Thank you…for bringing me here." She gave him a light kiss on the cheek and for a moment, thought of Sesshoumaru.
Toshimaru looked down at her, pleased and a bit embarrassed. "Take care of yourself Helen," he said softly as he took a step back. Helen watched as he flew off and turned her attention to the Bone Eater's Well.
The young woman approached it and placed a hand on the smooth wood of the well. It seemed just like yesterday that she fell into this very well…then she met Sesshoumaru…
She sighed to herself and sat on the edge of the well, her legs dangling into the dark depths. Go on Helen…jump in…and don't come back…she thought as she continued to stare into the darkness of the well's interior. She bit her lip, wondering if she was making the right decision-returning to America. She unexpectedly felt a tear come into her eye and she hastily wiped it away with her sleeve. Why are you so hesitant to jump in? After all…jumping in means…never seeing Sesshoumaru again…
"Helen?" a voice asked. Helen turned her head. Kagome and Inuyasha were standing a few feet behind her. She inwardly sighed with relief. At least she could say goodbye to two of her friends.
"Kagome…Inuyasha…" Helen said softly.
Kagome looked at her cousin. Her eyes were slightly puffy as if she had been crying. "You're here…" the young miko said softly. "Have you been…crying? And what happened to Sesshoumaru?"
A shadow came over Helen's eyes as Kagome said the name. "I'll explain…if you two come with me to the present so that I…" her voice trailed off.
"So you could what?" Inuyasha asked apprehensively, feeling he already knew the answer.
"So that I can say goodbye…"
Kagome gave her a puzzled look as she and Inuyasha followed her into the well.
XoXoXo
"So spill," Kagome said as she and Inuyasha seated themselves on Helen's bed. They watched as Helen took down a suitcase from the cabinet. "Why are you…?"
"Inuyasha, could you go find Aunt Higurashi please?" Helen said softly. The hanyou gave her a curious look but he did as he was told and left the room. Helen pulled open the cabinet.
"Helen…why are you packing?" Kagome asked softly.
Helen put down the dress that she had removed from a hanger. "It's because…I'm returning to America…"
Kagome's eyes widened. "But…the exchange program isn't even over yet!" the miko pointed out.
"What's the use?" Helen said softly. "I've been absent for a long time…besides…Ms. Miwato said that my grades here are high enough for me to go home now…But she said that it was a shame that I…won't finish the program." She folded the dress and put it into her open suitcase.
"But…why?" Kagome said softly as Helen took down a stack of jeans and unceremoniously dropped them into the suitcase. "Why do you want to leave?"
Helen paused and turned to Kagome. "Why…?" she said softly. "Because…I…have my reasons."
Kagome decided to push her luck. "It's…because of Sesshoumaru, isn't it?" Helen slammed her suitcase shut-she had packed in record time.
Helen turned sharply towards her cousin and there was a look of anguish on her face. "Yes," she said softly. "It's because of him…" Tears welled up in her eyes and Kagome moved over as Helen sat next to her and covered her face in her hands. Kagome placed an arm across her shoulders for comfort. "Kaggy…I…it's because I…want to leave…I don't want to see him again!"
"But you love him," Kagome whispered gently.
Helen shook her head. "But is it reason enough to got through all this pain?" she asked, face still covered. "I love him but he…he's in love with someone else! I can't stand it…it hurts too much…"
She removed her hands to uncover her tear stained face. She's…going through the same thing I went through when I found out that Inuyasha had chosen Kikyou…Kagome thought, feeling an old ache set in. "Helen," Kagome said. "I…went through the same thing once…"
Helen looked at her. "What do you mean?"
Kagome braced herself; remembering that time was still painful for her. "Well…there was a time Inuyasha and I fought," the priestess said softly. "I caught him together with Kikyou…"
"Who?"
"Inuyasha's…other love…the woman you tried to kill under Naraku's orders," Kagome said softly. Helen nodded her head, an indication that Kagome should go on. "Well…when Kikyou left, Inuyasha looked at me…I knew what he wanted to say; he wanted to say that he had…chosen Kikyou. I could see it in his eyes…and…I didn't want to hear him say it so I…ran off and returned here. When I got back…I realized that I…wanted to be with Inuyasha…always."
"So…you returned to him?" Helen asked.
Kagome nodded and gave Helen a small smile. "Yes…despite the fact that he…obviously wants to be with Kikyou rather than me…"
Helen gave her cousin a small sad smile. "I wish…I had your courage," she said softly. Kagome sighed. There was no stopping Helen when she had made up her mind. "I just…can't stand seeing him with…someone else…"
Kagome nodded in sympathy and wondered, fleetingly, if her decision to stay with Inuyasha was right.
"Kagome," Helen said, remembering something. "Did I…do anything I wasn't supposed to while I was under Naraku's influence?"
Kagome bit her lip, wondering if she should tell Helen everything…especially the kiss she gave Sesshoumaru. "Well…you attacked Kouga, one of our allies against Naraku but he'll live," Kagome said hesitantly.
Helen nodded. "Anything else? Did I harm any of you? If I did…I won't forgive myself…"
Kagome bit her lip. "Well…you…well…"
"I what?"
"You…kissed Sesshoumaru…then you stabbed him," Kagome in a barely audible voice.
Helen's eyes widened and she looked down at her hands. Kagome saw her place a finger on her lips. There was a strange look in her eyes, one Kagome could not understand.
Kissed him? Helen thought, fighting the mad urge to blush. "I see…I stabbed him…"
At that moment, Mrs. Higurashi entered the room, accompanied by Inuyasha. "What is it dear?" the woman asked.
"If it isn't that much trouble," Helen said softly. "Could you…buy me a plane ticket to America…? I want to return home."
XoXoXo
Sango: end of chapter.
A1969: you all know I want reviews.
Miroku: where have you been? Sesshoumaru was here looking for Tenseiga.
A1969: he was now, wasn't he? Well he can have it back! It's not working.
Miroku:???