A/N: Couple of disclaimers here... some restaurant details in this chapter may be wrong for what a Japanese restaurant would really be like. Likewise, I claim no extensive knowledge of Kabuki and shall just point to the fact that I said the Edo was an "experimental" establishment - i.e. not the way things might usually be done. So please ignore any small flubs that may exist in that regard, the setting really isn't that important except as a backdrop.
For anyone who is wondering, the item of jewelry and its history mentioned near the end of the chapter is a reference back to my story "Crimson Door". Also, don't worry, this story and their date is far from over, there's at least another couple chapters to go. :)
Chapter Three: "Opposites Attract"
Kaname and Zero sat quietly in the back of the car as the driver navigated the streets towards their destination. The sun had already set, although only just, and the car's tinted windows were unnecessary. The silence was companionable, if a bit awkward. Neither of them knew exactly what to say and both of them were trying to pretend they weren't at all nervous.
"So... the Edo, huh? I've never been there. Isn't it some kind of dinner theater?" Zero inquired after a few minutes.
"Yes, in a manner of speaking." Kaname looked glad to have something to talk about. "They have done different things in the past. Currently they are functioning as an experimental Kabuki dining experience."
Zero's eyebrows went up. "Kabuki?" He had been to a real, traditional Kabuki performance once when he was a kid. His parents had taken him. Ichiru hadn't gone because he had been ill. At first Zero had been sorry for him, but after a while he had decided that Ichiru was the lucky one that time. Including intermissions, the show had lasted all day and the 7-year-old had not really gotten into the discordant music and flashy, stylized performances. He had been bored out of his skull. Oh, this is going to be fun.
Kaname nodded, missing Zero's well concealed apprehension. "Of a sort. It's more of a two hour variety show than an actual performance," he said somewhat apologetically. He would have taken Zero to a real show if he could have, but there weren't any in the area and ideally you needed to plan enough in advance to try to sleep the night before, since it would require a vampire to stay up all day. He'd done it a couple of times when he was younger with Takuma. He found the style interesting and was intrigued by the way the ancient story lines and traditions had come forward through time, some parts changing under the influence of their ages, some remaining the same.
Zero hid his relief. Two hours... okay, that wasn't so bad. Not something he would have chosen to do, but for Kaname he could brave it out for a couple of hours.
"The food should be excellent," Kaname added, continuing on to name the head chef and talk about other restaurants in the man's resume history at which Kaname had dined in the past. Zero didn't recognize any of the names or places, but he liked the sound of Kaname's voice and it meant that he didn't have to try to talk, so he just listened and nodded in the right places.
Entertainment and food quality were two of the reasons Kaname had chosen the Edo. Another reason, one he left un-voiced, was that he didn't think they were likely to run into many other vampires there tonight. It was a decidedly upscale establishment, but usually a tad more crowded than upper class vampires tended to like. Kaname was more than willing to overlook that in favor of the benefits. He wanted Zero and he to be able to relax, which wasn't always possible when there were others of their kind around.
Outside of his own trusted inner circle, he could not afford to let other vampires realize just how much Zero meant to him, for fear of what harm may be directed towards the ex-human as a result. True, Kaname knew Zero could hold his own with the best of them, especially as a hunter. But as a hunter, he was also a disturbingly tempting target. It would be too easy for vampires to single him out for attack sometime on some mission and it would be hard to prove how or why it had been done. It would be too easy to try to blame whatever Level E he had been after.
Kaname was not shy about letting the world know he cared for Zero, or even acknowledging that they were lovers. Yet as much as he hated it, he had to keep up the appearance that it was in the context of Zero as his protégé and trusted subordinate. It was not uncommon for vampires to have many lovers, especially a pureblood within his inner circle. It was a sign of devotion to their leader that anyone would have offered. The relationship was often especially close between master and protégé, and although many disapproved simply because of what Zero was, they didn't suspect it was anything more than that. Vampire prejudice and the seeming impossibility of it being anything more was on their side and blinded those whom Kaname wished to stay blind. Should it be generally realized that he was far more serious about Zero than supposed, that he considered Zero his life mate... then Zero's life would become much too dangerous much too quickly. Whether it was from those who felt that purebloods were sacrosanct and should not lower themselves in that manner, or from Kaname's enemies who had suddenly found his weak spot, it didn't matter, the resulting danger would be the same.
Zero wouldn't even be safe around other hunters if that happened. It was tricky enough to get them to accept that as a vampire, Zero had to belong to a Syndeo and follow its laws and traditions in order to survive in that world, but with a lot of prodding from Yagari and a suitable amount of pressure from Kaname, they were proving reluctantly willing to at least give him a chance. As long as the Association thought that Kuran was mostly interested in Zero for his unique blend of being vampire and hunter, they were wary, but interested in the young hunter for the same reason. However, the Hunters had plenty of their own political intrigue. There were those like Yagari who would stand by Zero even if the truth did come out, but there were many others who would see the young hunter's importance to Kaname as an opportunity. They would try to use him as a weapon against the pureblood as surely as any vampire would.
If anyone ever learned that killing Zero would effectively kill Kaname or drive him insane... Zero's life wouldn't be worth jack. It would become almost impossible for Kaname to allow him to be far from his side at any time without him being in grave peril, and he couldn't do that to Zero, he knew the boy treasured his freedom and his life as a hunter too much. Kaname wouldn't see Zero become a virtual prisoner because of him and his enemies. He already suspected those enemies were the reason Yuki had been killed. He would never let that happen to Zero. So they had to pretend. But not right now... not right this moment they didn't.
"I think we're there," Zero commented, the conversation having comfortably lapsed a minute or two before. He glanced towards Kaname to find the pureblood looking at him with a strange, fierce longing in his eyes that was almost sad. The hunter's expression turned soft and questioning and Kaname quickly shook off his dark thoughts and smiled. This wasn't Zero's problem, it was his. It was his burden to have to fight to keep the curse of his power and the darkness of his future from destroying and turning to dust anything he touched... anyone he dared love. Zero knew his mind on these things. Kaname did not hide the fears and the pain from him, but the reality was that Zero could share this particular burden with him only so far, and then Kaname just wanted to keep him safe from it. Zero seemed to understand that too, even if he didn't always agree.
Such dark musings were not appropriate for this evening, and Kaname dispelled them with a well practiced act of will. He had so much to be grateful for, so much to celebrate in his life – not the least of which was the boy sitting next to him and how happy they had become together. Tonight was about those things. Tonight was about being with Zero, and not worrying about anything beyond the two of them and this moment in time.
Kaname's smile was genuine as he gave his head a little shake, indicating that what Zero had seen was nothing, just a passing thought. "You're right, we are. Driver, let us off near the front." The car stopped as near to the front as it was allowed and let the two of them out. Kaname paused to give the driver instructions on what time to be there to pick them up again and then the pureblood and the hunter turned towards the Edo.
The restaurant / theater was housed in a grand, sprawling building that was done in lavish old style but with modern touches bringing it nicely up to date, like an entry that was made out of highly polished glass plates which were so clean they were almost invisible. Everything about the building spoke of grandeur and elegance, and Zero thought it was no surprise that Kaname had chosen such a place.
There was a man standing by the glass doors, opening them to admit guests as they arrived. The man was dressed in traditional Japanese garb to fit with the theme of the dinner dining experience. Due to its Kabuki-in-a-nutshell approach, the Edo was popular with tourists and tour groups when they were in season. There was nothing falsely showy or overly theatrical about the place, however. When tourism was out of season, as it was currently, the Edo catered pretty exclusively to a highbrow crowd. There was a certain understated elegance that underlay everything from the building itself to the uniforms of its employees.
Kaname took Zero's hand as they walked the short distance towards the entrance. Zero saw the doorman glance at them and discretely pulled his arm away. It was okay in private or in the car, but he wasn't exactly comfortable walking into the restaurant that way. It just felt... strange. The feeling was not helped by his acute vampire hearing picking up on the soft, idle chatter of the seating hostesses inside. The young women had seen their approach through the glass doors and they broke off their gossip to return to work with an amused whisper of "uh oh, look out, boyfriends at 2 o'clock". It was an innocent remark merely meant to indicate that they had more incoming guests to service, but Zero felt his ears turn pink. He still had a hard time considering Kaname a... boyfriend. Although really, what other terms were there to use? Soul mate, bondmate... perhaps more accurate, but a little dramatic and not exactly something that fit easily into conversation. Not with humans anyway, who wouldn't even understand what a bondmate was.
Kaname did not visibly react to Zero's drawing away, nor to the whispered words which he had also heard. Truth be told such words didn't bother him, not anymore. He was all right thinking of Zero as a boyfriend, he decided. Actually, it amused him a little to be referred to in such a manner. Vampires culture had far less issue with gender in relationships than many human cultures did, and that word meant something different to him when he heard it than it did to Zero.
To Zero it was embarrassing because it placed him in a role he'd never thought he'd be filling. He'd never been gay, and had no interest in men other than Kaname. Yet he realized that that was a somewhat sticky distinction to make. He knew what he and Kaname looked like and couldn't help wondering what people were thinking about when they saw them together. He knew he shouldn't care, but knowing and feeling were sometimes two different things. It made his gut curl with mortification to think that other guys might get the wrong impression and start looking him up. Oh God...
To Kaname, however, who was raised in a world where class distinction carried much more of a stigma than gender preference, the term had a nice ring of equality to it. A vampire would never have referred to them that way because most vampires would consider it an insult to elevate Zero to the status of being boyfriend to a pureblood. But the innocent young women here didn't see that. All they saw were two nice young men out on a date together. He liked it. He liked the feeling of being nobody in particular other than just Zero's boyfriend. Takuma had been right, this was a good idea.
Kaname stepped back slightly to let Zero enter first as the man held the door for them. The pureblood placed his hand lightly on the small of Zero's back in a natural gesture of ushering him in ahead, but he left his hand there once they were in, his arm loosely around the hunter's waist.
The hostesses inside were also appropriately attired for the flavor of the restaurant. One nodded to them in greeting as they entered, grinning a little at the cute picture the two young men made. Damn, why was it all the gorgeous ones were taken or gay? "Hi, can I help you?"
Zero could practically feel what she was thinking and side-stepped self-consciously, trying to shake Kaname's arm. Kaname merely moved fluidly with him, his arm tightening around the other and not letting him go. Zero was being recalcitrant and Kaname was a tiny bit peeved. He brushed the side of his head lightly and intimately against Zero's shoulder as he smiled pleasantly to the hostess, more than happy to play the role of adoring boyfriend. Of all the many roles he was forced to play in his life, this was the only one he wanted to be. To just be Zero's. "Kuran, reservation for two," he replied.
Zero felt his body flaming with embarrassed heat under his jacket as Kaname all but forcibly held him to his side and rubbed against him. He could have jerked away more adamantly and was sorely tempted to do so, but that would probably lead to making a scene that would be even more embarrassing. In any case, it was already too late. The hostess had obviously already gotten the clear message that these two men were way more than just friends out to take in a show together. Zero wanted to melt into the floor as the woman continued to smile pleasantly and somewhat knowingly at them.
"It is good to have you with us tonight," she said as she briefly checked their reservation before nodding and gesturing for them to come with her. "Please, follow me and I will show you to your table. You're seated in a great section, you'll have a wonderful view," she added cheerfully.
A wonderful view of me making an idiot out of myself by being here... Zero thought uncomfortably, trying unsuccessfully to shrug Kaname off again once the hostess' back was turned. He shot his companion a warning glare, but Kaname ignored him and refused to stay away, his hand trailing lightly up and down Zero's back as their bodies remained close.
"Stop it!" Zero hissed softly through his teeth. It wasn't that he didn't like Kaname's touch... actually he liked it a little too much. He was uncomfortable feeling the way Kaname was making him feel while in public. The fact that Kaname was pressuring him when he was making it obvious he'd rather the other vampire kept his distance was also pushing the ex-human's buttons. He loved Kaname, but the pureblood had an annoying ingrained streak of entitlement and he could be a real jerk on occasion.
Kaname knew he was making Zero edgy. That wasn't what he wanted, but he was becoming frustrated and a little hurt by Zero's behavior. It wasn't like he was trying to make out with the hunter... did Zero have to act like he found his touch humiliating? Like he didn't want anyone to realize that they were anything more than friends? What kind of a date was that? This evening was going to be no fun at all if Zero insisted on being practically on the opposite side of the room from him the whole time. He didn't think it was embarrassing to be considered boyfriends... why should Zero? Kaname didn't want to hide. Not tonight. He had to do enough hiding other times. Tonight they were surrounded by a bunch of humans who didn't know them and couldn't care less and Kaname wanted to take advantage of that. He wanted to be able to just be with Zero and not pretend.
Kaname fixed Zero with one of his smooth, unruffled, all-knowing smiles that had a tendency to drive the hunter up the wall. "Behave, darling, you're going to make a scene." he murmured, leaning over and giving Zero a light kiss on the cheek. He shouldn't be fanning the flames, but there was still a point where he and Zero could simply kick off the devil in one another.
Kaname was being intentionally infuriating now and Zero knew it. His temperature and his temper spiked and Zero's palm impacted somewhat sharply on Kaname's chest, giving him a good shove. It wasn't hard enough to separate them, not with Kaname's reflexes and balance, but it was enough to say he meant business and to cause them both to stagger just slightly. Zero stopped walking. "I am not kidding!" he hissed back, the conversation still happening too softly for their hostess or anyone else to hear. "Cut it out or I'm going home now!"
Kaname resisted a stab of hurt with difficulty. His smile remained, a faint, predatory glint flaring momentarily behind his eyes. "Zero, you're making people stare..." he nodded slightly towards some of the other patrons already seated at the tables they had stopped between. Although their conversation was happening too soft to overhear, the sound of Zero's hand striking the front of his suit had drawn a couple of curious glances and it was obvious something was happening between the two young men.
Zero thought he was going to die. He flushed all the way to the roots of his hair and wondered what on earth had ever made him think that going out on a date with this insufferable, incorrigible, impossible pureblood could possibly be a good, or even a workable idea. He loved Kaname, he did, but right now he wanted to kill him. Was a little personal space really too much to ask? He was uncomfortable, damn it! Why couldn't Kaname see that? Or didn't he care?
"The table is right over here..." Their hostess glanced back towards them to see why they had stopped moving. Her gaze silently inquired if everything was all right. Both vampires smiled innocently and quickly moved to join her. Kaname's smile a little too charming, Zero's a little too lethal and both seemed to be directed at one another rather than her.
Pretending that she didn't sense the new tension in the air and was oblivious to whatever personal issues her customers might be having, the woman led them a few more steps and gestured to an empty table with two place settings. "Any special occasion?" she added in a polite attempt at conversation and distraction.
"Just being together," Kaname replied with a charismatic smile as he intentionally leaned into Zero before finally releasing him and taking a seat.
Zero quickly took the other seat, his gaze locked on the tablecloth.
The woman made a small, appreciative sound at the notion. "That's wonderful. Well, you two enjoy. Your server will be with you shortly and the show will start in about half an hour."
As the hostess took her leave, Kaname gazed across the table at Zero and fought down a sharp twinge of guilt. His companion looked miserably embarrassed and Kaname felt both guilty andfrustrated. This wasn't what he wanted and it wasn't how he wanted this evening to start off. He wasn't trying to discomfit his lover, but Zero was such a sweet, frustratingly reticent clam sometimes, if Kaname didn't push him, they never got anywhere. Sometimes it was okay and he successfully got Zero to loosen up, and then other times it wasn't and the opposite would happen. He would push and Zero would close up and withdraw. Like now. It frustrated him that for all his skill, he couldn't seem to figure out the dividing line between the two reactions. He reached out for Zero's hand on the table in an honestly concerned and consolatory gesture, but Zero jerked back from him as if he were some kind of poisonous snake.
"Kaname, please," Zero almost begged in a fierce, desperate whisper. "You're being an ass." His stormy violet eyes darted up to meet those gazing at him from across the table. Why was Kaname doing this to him, completely ignoring his feelings like this? "Quit treating me like a possession you can trot out for your amusement!"
That hurt. That really hurt. Kaname could understand Zero's hesitancy, but the words burned like acid. "I'm not treating you like a possession, Zero. I'm treating you like someone I'm not ashamed to love. Maybe you should quit treating me like I have leprosy and you can think of nothing worse in the world than having someone think we might be together!" Kaname felt like they'd had this argument before. Why was that? What was wrong with him that Zero didn't want to acknowledge him in front of others?
You know very well what's wrong with you. You're tainted and dirty in ways you're too afraid to even tell him, you've no right to a love as pure as his and even if he doesn't know why, he can sense it... Kaname clamped down on the painful accusations in his head, shoving them back into the dark where they belonged, although unable to repress the agony they caused.
Zero blinked, seeing the honest pain in Kaname's eyes. Oh. Is that what Kaname thought? That... that wasn't the impression he'd wanted to give at all... but he realized with a sinking feeling in his stomach that it would be easy to view his actions that way. Well, crap.
The pureblood's do it my way attitude was a part of who he was. It was part of the package that Zero loved, even if it was a frustrating part. He should know better than to mistake Kaname being stubbornly amorous for Kaname discounting his feelings intentionally. Kaname did discount them sometimes, but never intentionally. Just like Zero realized he hurt Kaname sometimes, like now, equally unintentionally. It was inevitable in any relationship perhaps, the important thing was how you dealt with it. In the past, these kind of misunderstandings had nearly destroyed them. But this was not the past. Nor would either of them let it become that way again. What they had was worth the effort of trying to understand where the other was coming from and finding middle ground on which to meet.
"I'm sorry," Zero apologized quietly, the violet gaze softening as it held Kaname's. "I didn't mean to make you feel like that. It's not true, I love being with you, but I... this is just... I'm not used to it yet, okay?" Be patient with me... his eyes pleaded. He didn't want Kaname to think he was ashamed of him in anyway, but neither was he comfortable being casually physically close in front of strangers.
Kaname saw the plea in Zero's eyes and he felt even guiltier. Of course he could be patient. Zero was worth any amount of patience. He should have been more considerate of his partner's comfort and not pushed him so hard before he was ready. The thought that he'd hurt Zero when the whole idea was that he wanted to show him how much he loved him made the pureblood miserable. "Okay," he replied softly. "I'm sorry too, Zero. I didn't mean to embarrass or push you into things you're uncomfortable with. If... if you want to just go home, we can," he murmured, feeling like an utter failure. Maybe this had been a doomed idea from the start.
Zero actually considered it for half a moment, but then quickly rejected the idea. No. They should stick this out. Maybe... maybe they needed to. He shook his head. "No, I want to be here, Kaname. With you."
Kaname's eyes flickered with warm relief and a small thread of hope. There was such a deep yearning for affection and approval in them that it made Zero swallow against the slight lump that appeared in his throat. Kaname acted surprisingly like he really didn't think he was worthy of love at times and it made Zero ache to prove him wrong. The pureblood was so powerful and charismatic... it was hard to understand the deep flicker of vulnerability in his eyes that was directed the hunter's way sometimes. Hard to imagine that someone as self-possessed and commanding as Kaname could honestly be so desperate for frequent confirmation of the hunter's affections and esteem.
Maybe that was part of their problem, Zero realized in an unexpected flash of insight. Maybe Kaname was insufferable because he was trying to get that assurance - acting confident to cover his insecurity. Zero had spent a lot of years hiding his feelings from everyone and it was a habit. He was not an emotionally demonstrative person by nature, but maybe on some level, Kaname needed him to be.
Steeling himself, Zero reached across the table and gave Kaname's hand a little squeeze. Kaname's gaze glittered softly, but he froze, as if afraid to move.
Afraid to make me pull away again... Zero realized with a soft pang. Kaname always seemed like he knew exactly what he was doing and was in complete control, but it was moments like this when Zero realized that underneath that, the pureblood was just an unsure young man who wanted very much to be loved and to not do the wrong thing. Because as unfair as it was, in Kaname's life, screwing up seemed to always be tantamount to complete disaster.
But not with me. You don't have to be perfect with me, I promise... Zero thought with a kind of aching fierceness. "I love you, Kaname," he whispered, refusing to notice the soft, prickly heat making his throat and ears feel hot. "You know that, right?"
Kaname blinked quickly, and Zero could have sworn that in the soft flicker of the light from the candle on the table, there was the glitter of tears in the pureblood's eyes for a moment. "Yes," he whispered back, now squeezing Zero's hand tightly. "I do." His voice said he'd needed to hear it though. Sometimes it seemed to Zero that it was almost like there was a scarred void inside Kaname that seemed to suck up all the light in his soul, convincing him that he was utterly unsuitable for affection. It was the only way to explain why Kaname looked at him with such aching wonder when he said those simple words, as if he didn't understand how Zero could love him. "I love you too. So much." Kaname's whisper was so soft it was like a tender, hesitant caress.
It was Zero's turn to blink back the soft sting in his eyes. He would never lose the warm thrill of joy he felt at hearing those words. Someday, perhaps, he would understand what caused that void in Kaname, but for now it was enough to simply try to fill it as best as he could. And he wanted to. He wanted to so much.
A server appeared at their table and Zero forced himself to resist the urge to pull his hand back. He wouldn't do that to Kaname, not now that he realized the pureblood was taking it all so much to heart. He wouldn't...
Kaname felt Zero's pulse jump and sensed his tension, even as the hunter made no move to disentangle their hands while the server introduced himself and asked if he could get them anything. The man was pleasant, and obviously avoiding looking at their clasped hands. Zero was visibly uncomfortable, but sticking it out for Kaname.
Kaname gave Zero's fingers a soft squeeze and released his hand under the pretext of reaching for one of the untouched menus. He didn't want Zero to have to feel awkward. The pureblood was glowing happily from his lover's soft words a moment ago and easily ignored the server's slight indications of unease. Who cared what he thought anyway?
Zero, relieved, reached for his menu as well. While Kaname inquired about different wine vintages, he scanned the list of offerings and tried to keep his boggled look to a minimum when he saw the prices. Out of habit, he immediately started looking for the lowest priced thing on the menu, which in this place didn't seem to mean much.
Kaname caught his eye over the top of the menu and gave him an amused look of warning as if knowing all too well what Zero was doing. Zero grinned wryly in return and gave a small shrug. Okay, okay, message received. Kaname seemed to find it offensive when Zero ordered by price rather than by what he actually wanted. Considering everything on the menu appeared to cost a small fortune, Zero decided what the heck and ordered one of the pricier items that sounded the most appetizing.
After the server left with their orders, Kaname gave Zero a wry smile. "So, think we could make him any more uneasy if we tried?" he teased ruefully, nodding towards where their server had disappeared. The man had done a good job of hiding his feelings and remaining perfectly professional, but vampire senses were keen and neither of them were fooled.
Zero raised one eyebrow, giving Kaname a slightly warning look. "Let's not try," he suggested dryly. He was willing to try to meet Kaname partway, but what he had said earlier about needing time still stood and if the pureblood thought that Zero was going to let him get all friendly again while they were here, he was mistaken. Zero would not put it past Kaname to play with their waiter's foibles by being extra demonstrative in order to see his reactions, and that was not on Zero's menu for tonight.
"Look," the hunter said thoughtfully. "This is our first... um..."
"Date?" Kaname supplied the word helpfully with a soft touch of amusement when Zero paused for too long, seeming to stumble over the expression.
Zero nodded. "Yeah. Our first real one, anyway, right?"
Kaname nodded slowly in agreement, not quite sure where Zero was going with this. "Yes."
"So... let's treat it like that," Zero continued. "Like a first..."
"Date," Kaname supplied again with a small smile, even though Zero's pause had been a little shorter this time.
Zero smiled sardonically. "Yeah..." he agreed again, dryly. "Like that. I mean, you wouldn't be all over someone on your first date, would you?" He made sure not to pause enough on the "d" word this time to allow Kaname to chime in. There was a bit of a tease in Zero's tone now and the atmosphere between them had become companionable once more.
"I don't know..." the pureblood grinned with an incorrigible twinkle in his eye. "I might..."
Zero gave a soft laugh. "No, Kaname. Aido might, but not you. You'd be all gentlemanly charm and aloofness at first. Your insatiable twit side doesn't show until you know someone and are comfortable with them."
It was Kaname's turn to laugh. "Oh really? Do tell, it is fascinating to find out about myself. You know me so well, do you?" he teased. Zero was actually right on the money, which was part of what made it so amusing.
Zero nodded, enjoying the joking now and the lovely smile on Kaname's face. "Yes, I do," he said with mock authority.
"Well, all right then, I bow to your superior knowledge," Kaname returned, gaze twinkling. "First date behavior it is then... although I warn you, I would not usually consider holding hands or taking my date by the arm to be 'ungentlemanly' behavior." He quirked his eyebrows.
Zero warmed a little under Kaname's gaze, not from embarrassment this time but rather from the playful fire in the pureblood's chocolate eyes. Talking about things plainly seemed to take some of the uncomfortable edge off of Zero's mood. It helped him remember that what they were doing was perfectly normal... something that people did all the time. "Hmm, well, we'll see about that," he said with a small, playfully dismissive huff.
"And of course, I might be tempted to take it farther, even so, if my date happened to be a ravishingly handsome and stubborn hunter whom I just couldn't take my eyes off of..." Kaname continued smoothly.
Zero threw his napkin at him and Kaname caught it, laughing. Their server returned with their drinks and Zero found he truly didn't care what the man thought this time as he reclaimed his napkin from Kaname and they both fixed innocent looks on the fellow as he poured their wine for them before leaving again.
Kaname raised his glass in a silent, smiling toast to Zero, who returned it before taking a sip. The wine was excellent and Zero realized that the glasses were real crystal. No wonder the food cost so much... imagine the expense if a server dropped a tray of these. The lights in the restaurant were comfortably low, the candles on the tables creating little puddles of illumination that let each table feel like it was a private island unto itself. Sitting here comfortably with Kaname and sipping their drinks, Zero began to relax and enjoy himself. Really... once you got over the initial awkwardness, this was kind of nice.
"How are the hunter classes coming along?" Kaname inquired after a little while. Cross Academy's Headmistress had requested Zero be a guest teacher for a couple of the classes since he was staying at the Academy with Kaname for a few weeks anyway. Zero had been reluctant to accept, but Headmistress Wren was as good at getting her way as Chairman Cross had always been.
"Should I be worried that you're training up the next generation of hunters to be as skilled as you are?" he teased with a note of true appreciation and pride.
Zero made a wry face. "Hardly. Wren just asked me to demonstrate at couple of the fighting technique classes. Master Yagari is one of the best instructors of fighting form, and I'm one of his pupils, so... you know." He shrugged it off, sipping his wine. "Honestly, I doubt it's my skills as a hunter that the Headmistress is really interested in. It's good PR for the kiddies to see one of their own who is also one of them," he said quietly, omitting the word vampire, but implying it clearly.
Kaname's expression colored with concern. "Zero, I'm sure that's not it..."
Zero shook his head. "No, Kaname. It is, but... I guess I'm okay with that. I didn't choose what I am. I don't know that I'll ever be really okay with it, but I can't change it, so if it can actually do some good and help promote peace in some way then..." he shrugged a bit self-consciously. "Why not?"
Kaname gave his companion a warm smile. He was rather impressed. The Zero he had first met, the Zero he used to know, would never have been able to talk about this so calmly, nor accept the idea of peace as something desirable. Zero had changed a lot. They both had.
"Well, if there's anything I can do to help, let me know," Kaname offered and Zero nodded.
The house lights dimmed, indicating that the first part of the show was soon to begin. The evening passed pleasantly after that. The wine was good, the food was excellent and the performance was much more interesting than Zero had expected. The performing troupes that the Edo booked were as top-notch as everything else about the place. Seen through adult eyes, the scenes and story depicted made more sense than they had as a child and he was able to appreciate the artistry and the rich tradition of history woven into the performance. He'd expected to endure the evening, but instead he found himself enjoying it, a lot.
Kaname enjoyed the show as well and time passed all too quickly. As the thunderous applause for the closing sequence finally died down, everyone set about finishing up their remaining after-dinner tea and conversations while settling up their bills. Due to the nature of the dinner theater, by the time the show was ended, everyone was also ready and expected to start gradually taking their leave.
The waiter left them their check, but Kaname didn't pay right away. Like a number of the others patrons, the two vampires lingered a little while at their table, content to let the mass exodus beginning to happen around them die down a bit before they took their leave.
Kaname fingered a small velvet box hidden in his jacket pocket. His fingertips brushed across the soft burgundy nap, unconsciously tracing the contours of the jewelry box. His stomach felt suddenly tight and apprehensive as he hesitated uncertainly. Should he? Should he do it? Dinner was ending, if he was going to do it tonight, now was the moment.
Kaname's fingers closed tightly around the box but his hand remained in his pocket, the knot in his stomach tightening and making his heart speed up nervously. This level of hesitation to enact a course of action upon which he had already decided, this... indecision and second guessing was highly unusual and highly unsettling for him. Clutching the box in his pocket, he was struck by the wry, self-conscious thought that he was almost as nervous as if he was going to ask Zero to marry him or something.
Good thing he wasn't, he was fairly certain Zero really would have reacted... unpredictably... to something like that. This was slightly less certain of a disaster, yet... there was still no way to be sure how his gift would be received. Usually, that wouldn't have worried Kaname this much. Usually, Kaname waited and watched and noticed what Zero looked at or took interest in when deciding on a present and if Zero didn't end up liking the gift he could always exchange it. They were just things, tangible ways he tried to express how crazy he was about the hunter. This was different. Well... it was still meant to express the same thing, but on a much, much deeper level. What Kaname wanted to give Zero was deeply personal to the pureblood but for that very reason he feared he might be making a mistake. Might be letting what was precious to him cloud his judgment on how Zero might feel about it.
Inside the box in his pocket lay a small and unimaginably unique stone, entwined in a pendant of white-gold vines that formed the shape of the Kuran family crest. It was his mother's memory-stone necklace, the one his father had given her as a wedding gift and a sign of his undying love a long time ago. In and of itself, the piece of jewelry was probably worth a not-so-small fortune, but to Kaname, it was entirely priceless. It was the only really personal thing he had left of his past and of his parents.
Kaname remembered sitting in her lap, warm and safe in her arms as she let him play with the pendant when he was still a little boy. It had always enthralled him. The rare stone and the charm placed upon it was capable of capturing and holding memories frozen in time. Haruka had had the charm bound to Juri by one of the few master vampire jewelers who knew how to do so. When she wore it - the pendant resting against her skin over her heart - it would respond to any strong emotion of hers, triggering the charm and capturing the scene inside the stone's memory like a living photo album or a home movie, made up of a million little clips and instances sprinkled across years and years of living and loving. Considering that original jewels of this type had been crafted millennia before the advent of any kind of camera, it had truly been a unique object, and it still was.
The recordings were spontaneous, but they could be played back at will once you learned the mental guidance needed to control the stone's gift. You could also erase scenes if you didn't want to keep them, which was sometimes the case since the stone could be triggered by any strong emotion, including anger, pain or fear. It was easiest to trigger by love and happiness though, and in any case, those were the memories that Kaname remembered seeing stored within its shiny depths. Probably, he knew now, because she had always erased the others.
The memory stone was bound to Juri's blood, so as her son and one who carried her blood, Kaname had been able to work the stone to a degree. He loved seeing scenes from the past, with his mother and father dressed in clothes of bygone eras, smiling and adoring of one another. They weren't really "memories" exactly, as much as a brief recording of the scene taking place at the time the stone was triggered. Kaname remembered with soft amusement, how sometimes his mother would playfully cover his eyes and pull the necklace away, declaring that was enough for now, when he accidentally stumbled upon some of the more... intimately happy memories she obviously had of moments with his father. Of course, he'd been much too young to understand then.
The necklace had been lost the night his parents died and Kaname had only gotten it back years later from where it had languished in Asato Ichijo's possession. It had been intended to frame Kaname for the death of his parents... but had instead ended up showing the truth of what had really happened that night. It had captured Juri's last moments in its memory and held them as a silent witness all those years until finally Kaname unlocked it and gave them voice once more.
After Rido and Asato were both gone and things had quieted down after that whole mess, Kaname had tried many times to coax from the stone any of his mother's other memories that had once been stored there. But they all seemed to have disappeared with her passing leaving only the last, violent impression that had been seared on the stone in the moments leading up to her death. That scene, Kaname had no wish to replay but neither could he manage to erase it. He could activate replay of the stone, but he could not otherwise fully control it. It had not, after all, been bound to him. So he had put the necklace aside and locked it away as a part of the past that was too dear to ever lose, but much too painful to dwell upon. That was true now about so much of his past.
A few months ago, however, after he had finally told Zero that he loved him and discovered the unthinkable joy of finding those feelings returned, Kaname had had the strength to take the necklace out again. After much deliberation, he had finally taken the stone to one of the only remaining experts in its craft and had the woman erase its memory and reset the charm. It was hard to let that part of his history go. Yet... he knew that his mother would have wanted it to become a link to a beautiful future, not a reminder of a painful past. The necklace was meant for love and dedication, not to hold ashes and sorrow.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" the woman holding the pendant with reverent fingers looked at Kaname, as if sensing his momentary reluctance. She didn't look it, but she was very old. Few younger vampires would have been able to handle this task. This very well might be one of the only ancient memory stones still in existence in the world.
Kaname did not hesitate. He already knew what he wanted and he simply nodded. "Yes. Release it."
A few minutes later, he was surprised to see the once crimson stone turn a milky, pearlescent white. Reading his shock easily, the jeweler was quick to reassure him. "Do not fear, this is the memory stone's natural color when it is blank and unbound. When it is paired with someone else's blood, it's color will darken back to that which you are accustomed," she promised.
"Would Kuran-sama like for the stone to be initialized for his use? I will need a drop of your blood for that, but only, of course, if you wish," she added with the natural deference always given to a pureblood's life essence.
Kaname shook his head, reaching into his pocket. "No, not to me." He handed the woman a small vial of dark red blood. "Can you bind it to this?"
Now, just as the jeweler had said, the stone was again a deep, rich garnet color. It was a different hue than before though. In certain light it almost looked more royal plum, like arterial blood seen through the filter of creamy skin... or like the depths of a certain someone's eyes when the lights were out and their normally lighter shade was darkened with passion.
Kaname forced himself to stop squeezing the box in his pocket before he accidentally squeezed too much and damaged it. He wanted Zero to have this. He wanted to pass it on like a family tradition, and a promise of how utterly special and utterly beloved Zero was. But... he hesitated to give Zero a necklace and one that had belonged to his mother. He'd had it hung on a thin, high-quality leather cord instead of a chain and although it was delicate and graceful, the pendant in and of itself wasn't necessarily overly feminine, but still... he wasn't sure.
Zero did wear jewelry, of a kind. His multiple piercings attested to that. Zero tended to wear mostly silver earrings, which complimented his coloring very nicely, but which also gave Kaname the feeling that the hunter had probably started with them more out of rebellion against what he was becoming then as a style statement. Piercing his body with silver was probably another example of Zero stabbing against his growing vampire nature. He didn't seem to react badly to the metal like some vampires did however, and now Kaname fancied the hunter had simply grown used to them. The pureblood certainly enjoyed the way they looked on him and he loved playing his tongue against them. He'd often wondered if Zero would think it presumptuous of him if he bought earrings for him, but he hadn't tried it yet.
One thing Kaname hadn't really seen though, was Zero wearing a necklace. Kaname had had the pendant re-plated in white gold to go better with his lover's coloring and his other jewelry, but he couldn't help fearing that that wasn't enough. Was it too girly of a gift to give him? Would Zero take it as a slight to his manhood or a sign that Kaname was trying to treat him like something he wasn't?
Kaname bit the inside of his lip. Damn... he thought he'd already resolved all this in his mind before he brought the box along this evening, but now... things were going so well and he was hesitant to push his luck or spring more on Zero than the other might be ready for. He'd already almost pushed Zero too much earlier, he didn't want to repeat that mistake.
It wasn't as if he thought Zero would outright spurn his gift, of course not. Zero was a very sensitive person underneath his habitual act, and if he saw that this meant a lot to Kaname, he would probably make an effort to respond appropriately... but that wasn't what the pureblood wanted. He was aware that he and Zero had very different views on many things and Kaname didn't want to hurt Zero unintentionally by doing something just because it meant something to him. He wanted this to be special to Zero too, he didn't want him to misunderstand.
"Earth to Kaname..." Zero's amused voice broke into Kaname's thoughts, almost making the pureblood start. He hadn't realized he'd become so lost in his own thoughts.
"Hm?" Kaname asked, his gaze settling quickly on his companion as he tried to recall whatever it was that Zero must have said which he didn't hear. The other tables were starting to empty in earnest now and busboys were beginning to make their rounds, cleaning up.
Zero raised his eyebrows at Kaname's somewhat cute distraction. "I said there's a little tea left, do you want it?" he offered, giving the small teapot a little lift as he did.
"No," Kaname shook his head. "I'm good. you go ahead."
"Okay. Everything all right?" Zero refilled his cup with the remaining tea from the pot. The tea had cooled enough to allow him to finish it in a few swallows.
Kaname inclined his head in an affirmative. "Yes, just thinking. Sorry. Did you enjoy the performance?"
Zero set his empty tea cup down and nodded slowly. "Yes, I did. More than I thought I would, actually," he admitted honestly with a wry quirk to his smile. "My parents took me to see Kabuki when I was a kid and I remember it, uh... dragging, a bit. This was a lot better."
Kaname smiled ruefully in response. Of course... Kabuki wasn't for everyone. Just because he enjoyed something, didn't necessarily mean Zero would. He knew that... yet he always forgot. He was just too used to leading, he didn't know how to not. "I'm sorry, Zero. I should have asked you if you would have rather gone someplace else..." he said quietly.
Zero gave a faintly exasperated look and quickly shook his head. That wasn't what he had intended to make Kaname feel. "No, Kaname... that's not what I meant. I'm glad we came here. I had a really good time and I would never have tried it without you." He reached across the table and squeezed Kaname's hand lightly. "Thanks."
Kaname squeezed Zero's hand back, relieved to hear that Zero had enjoyed himself and warmed by the softness in his lover's eyes. Kaname drew Zero's knuckles to his mouth and pressed his lips gently against them. Zero ducked his head in embarrassment and looked down at the table, but he didn't pull his hand away. Impulsively, without looking around or caring who might see, Kaname gave Zero's arm a small tug, pulling him a little more forward as he leaned across the small table to meet him, kissing Zero lightly on the lips.
Zero seemed surprised and he froze uncertainly, but he didn't fight. Kaname felt the ghost of a return kiss before the hunter quickly sat back down in his chair, gaze darting automatically around the room, his cheeks flushed pink. Zero had definitely reacted much better than earlier, attesting to his much more relaxed state now, but he was still not the kiss-in-public type. Not yet.
Zero's heart pounded, stirring his blood in ways that were delicious and completely inappropriate for where they were. Yet his hand was still in Kaname's and he refused to pull it away. He'd let nothing pull him away from Kaname, not even his own hesitancy and awkwardness. "Uh... Kaname... first date, remember?" he murmured softly, but his voice was a trifle husky, unintentionally inviting a reaction opposite to that which his words might intend.
"I remember..." Kaname whispered back, equally husky. His thumb brushed the other's knuckles tenderly, his heart swollen with the expansive weight of his feelings for this boy. His eyes were deep and intense and Zero felt his stomach flip-flopping pleasantly. For a moment, the rest of the world ceased to exist for Zero. Kaname was all there was - that beautiful face and those ageless eyes holding him enraptured.
Kaname's free hand, still in his pocket, tightened around the jewelry box again. Maybe.... maybe now...
The moment seemed to spin out, long, sweet and perfect. Then a clatter of dishes and glasses being removed from the table beside them brought reality back to the couple and they seemed to shake them out of their daze.
"So, um... we should probably go and let them clean up?" Zero murmured, finally releasing Kaname's hand and rising to his feet. The dining room was almost empty now, save for a few tables here and there where people lingered, like them.
Kaname nodded, also rising. He released the box, letting it settle back into his pocket and withdrawing his hand. The moment had passed. Another time, perhaps. Maybe another time would be better, another day. There was no rush, right?
Chicken, his mind accused, and he didn't bother to refute it. Yes. Yes he was chickening out, but he didn't want to risk spoiling the evening. It had been lovely.
Zero collected his jacket from the back of his chair and shrugged back into it while Kaname dealt with the bill and the tip. The night was beautiful and clear as they exited the restaurant, heading unhurriedly towards where the chauffer waited for them.
The stars had come out overhead and the full moon hung like silver ball in the sky. The Edo was nestled in a small, scenic area adjacent to several parks and a large lake. Lights had sprung to life in the shops along the avenues and boardwalks edging the lake and small decorative bulbs twinkled in the trees, making it look like some of the stars had fallen to rest among their blossoming branches.
Zero tilted his face into to the breeze. It carried the soft scents of the nearby park and the small cafes lining the avenue. It was a beautiful night, and suddenly he really didn't want to get back into the car and just go home. Before he could talk himself into keeping quiet, he turned to his companion.
"Kaname... let's walk home," he said impulsively, feeling the tug of the cool air and the stars, unable to resist the urge to wander through both with Kaname.
Kaname was equally aware of the charm of the evening. He was surprised and pleased by Zero's suggestion. It would be a pretty long walk, but hardly an issue for the two of them and there was definitely something delightfully compelling about the idea of strolling down the cozy boulevards and enjoying the peace of the night with the hunter at his side.
"All right. I'll send the car back." Kaname spoke to the driver for a minute and then returned to Zero's side. They took a shortcut through the parking lot and crossed a small street in order to gain the appealing boardwalk. Music from somewhere in the distance hummed softly on the night breeze.
Kaname and Zero walked companionably close to one another, shoulders brushing every now and again. The evening was late, but not late enough to have completely cleared the boardwalk. Here and there people passed by or sat outside cafes sipping tea, coffee or wine in the soft glow of candlelit tables. Yet despite the light hum of civilization around them, it felt like the evening was made for just the two of them. No one paid attention to them and they paid attention to no one else. Tonight they were just another pair of friends or lovers strolling down the street under the moonlight.
Kaname in particular felt a contented relief at being able to just blend into the background and be with Zero without knowing that eyes were following him everywhere. He couldn't do that in vampire society. They always knew who and what he was and eyes drew to him automatically. But he sensed no vampires nearby, only a comfortable, oblivious flow of humanity that neither realized they should fear him, nor cared a wit about the purity of his blood. The anonymity was relaxing and having Zero by his side was intoxicating.
Zero glanced up at the sky, seeing the sprawling spread of stars, still visible around the lights of the city. He'd always thought them beautiful, but remote. On sleepless nights in the past, as darkness tugged at his growing nocturnal instincts and highlighted the dreaded struggle with what he was becoming, the stars had seemed distant and cold - holding their beauty apart and mocking his inability to control what was happening to him. Tonight though, the stars seemed friendly, as if they were shining in the heavens just for the enjoyment of the people out strolling in the dark.
The stars hadn't changed, of course. Zero knew that he was the one who had changed. Somewhere along the way, he'd lost the edge of barely contained despair that used to rule his world and had found a reason to actually look forward to the future. A handsome, compelling reason who was walking quietly beside him.
Zero felt a soft surge of longing, and before he could talk himself out of it, he shifted his arm. Bridging the couple inches of distance between them, the ex-human slipped his hand into Kaname's. He didn't have to do this, Kaname had obviously accepted taking things at his pace and wasn't pushing him anymore, but... Zero wanted to do it. He resolutely threaded their fingers together. If he wanted to walk hand in hand with someone he loved deeply on a beautiful night, then he would do it. So what if it meant people probably thought "boyfriends" instead of just "friends" when they glanced their way? He wasn't ashamed of Kaname, and the rest of the world could just think what it pleased.
Kaname's step almost faltered as Zero's warm fingers slid into his, their palms clasping lightly as their arms dangled between them. It was unlike Zero to make public gestures of any kind, and the fact that the hunter didn't seem to mind if anyone saw them like that warmed the pureblood deeply. His fingers curled around Zero's and he fixed him with a bright, quiet smile.
Zero felt his heart skip a little at the look of slight surprise and sheer adoration that Kaname fixed upon him. It made a small lump rise in his throat and he squeezed Kaname's hand tenderly. The night was beautiful and perfect as they continued to stroll down the walk, hand in hand under the stars.