Medieval Obsession

Buster sat transfixed in front of the television, his right hand hovering mid-air with popcorn falling from his loosening grip. Bitzi looked on and sighed heavily, the laundry basket in her arms suddenly becoming too heavy for her. She plopped it onto the armchair, but Buster never looked up from his seat on the floor.

"Buster, it's nine-thirty. I think you should go to bed now," Bitzi suggested. Buster snapped from his position, tossing the remaining popcorn into his mouth and looking up to her with pleading eyes. "I only so that because you look tired. I know it's a Saturday night, and I know I told you that you could stay up late."

"I zoned out because this is really interesting, not because I'm tired," Buster said, his eyes turning back to the screen. When he saw it was on a commercial, he looked back up to his mother, "This is a documentary about medieval times. They used to have feasts ten times larger than our all-you-can-eat buffets! Can you imagine a chicken stuffed inside a-?"

"Buster, I've researched medieval practices before, and I can tell you with almost one hundred percent certainty that those big meals were only for the very rich and the people those rich people found important," Bitzi said solemnly, sitting down beside her son. "It's nice to see you getting so excited about something other than aliens for once, even if you're still stuck on food."

"Not just any food, Mom. Medieval food, and lots of it!" Buster exclaimed.

"When does this show happen to go off?" Bitzi asked. The show returned and Buster shrugged, his eyes fixed on the screen. Bitzi nodded, standing again and getting back to her laundry.

An hour later, the laundry was folded and put away. In the living room, the only light came from the television. A bowl of popcorn sat turned over in Buster's lap. He'd fallen asleep watching the documentary, and Bitzi knew what he was dreaming about. She gently carried him to bed, careful not to wake him. At one point she thought she'd awakened him for sure, but he was just muttering in his sleep. She heard something about a huge chicken leg and she sighed. Goodbye aliens, hello feasts. She withheld a groan as she closed his bedroom door and went to bed herself.

"Hey, Arthur, did you watch the Public Channel Saturday night?" Buster asked eagerly, nearly bouncing with joy. Arthur gave him a perplexed look while Brain looked on with a bright smile. "Brain, what about you?"

"Of course! I will say their costume designer chose the wrong types of fabric for the era, but their portrayal of the medieval feasts was highly accurate down to the cooking methods," Brain explained.

"It was amazing, Arthur! There's this one meal where they stuff a chicken inside a-"

"Buster, it's time for class," Arthur muttered, walking sleepily up the school's steps. Buster and Brain shrugged together before following him up the stairs. He was right, but he still could've been more polite.

"Well class, today I have a special video for you to watch. I recorded it this weekend, so I hope those of you who watched the Public Channel Saturday night don't mind seeing this again," Mr. Ratburn smiled. Arthur groaned, his head falling to his desk. Buster and Brain were constantly talking about medieval food practices in their free time, and he was quite tired of hearing about it.

Buster and Brain, however, were far from done. After the video, which Mr. Ratburn edited for time, the class was assigned a five hundred word report on the medieval era, though they weren't limited to food. It wouldn't be due until that Friday, but Buster and Brain couldn't stop talking about their topics. Brain wanted to cover the fashions so he could explain the inaccuracies in the video, but Buster was stuck on the food, the delicious medieval food.

Buster's thoughts were so stuck on the delicious oddities that he nearly walked headlong into his own front door, and a little drool dribbled out of his mouth as he steadied himself. He was obsessed, and of course, being THE Buster Baxter, he wanted to try the food for himself.

"Buster, how was school today? You seem pretty excited about something," Bitzi smiled, handing Buster a plate with a slice of the pepperoni and anchovy pizza she'd brought home for dinner. Usually he'd take a huge bite before answering, but today he broke directly into his essay assignment for the week. "He watched the documentary too, huh?" Bitzi asked nervously.

"Of course he did, Mom; he practically lives on that channel," Buster replied, finally taking his first bite of pizza. "I want to do my report on the food, so I might be at the library after school tomorrow. I also want to try to food, so if I bring you a recipe from the times, could you make it for me?"

"I might consider it, but I won't make that stuffed meat dish you talked about. Nothing complicated, and nothing expensive either," Bitzi warned.

"I know, I know," Buster nodded, chewing through his pizza as he talked.

"And don't eat with your mouth open," she scolded. He nodded, closing his mouth and remaining silent for the rest of the meal.

"Bitzi, thank you do much for helping me with this. My boss wanted these printouts to look perfect, and I just didn't trust that guy downtown," Jane said, sighing heavily with relief as Bitzi handed her the box of expense reports.

"Anything for a friend," Bitzi smiled. "I actually want to talk to you about the boys and school, if you have the time that is."

"I'm always a day ahead of schedule," Jane said confidently. "I don't have to pick up the girls for another hour if you want to talk now. Coffee?"

"That sounds perfect," Bitzi nodded, walking with Jane to the coffee shop just up the street. Once they were seated, she immediately explained her situation with Buster and his obsession with medieval food.

"Arthur told me he was going a little off the deep end with this one," Jane chuckled. "Arthur is completely uninterested because Buster won't stop talking about it, and I'm afraid he'll procrastinate about his assignment if he keeps this up. I mentioned to David that we should maybe have a medieval dinner within the next few nights, but he's too busy for all the prep work."

"Does he have any suggestions? I'm not the greatest cook, and Buster says he's going to bring me a recipe to make for him."

"He did have a suggestion. Have you seen the commercials for Two Times Medieval? They call it 'Two Times' because you get a dinner and a few shows. They have jousting and other traditional medieval entertainment, and it's supposed to be highly accurate to the times. I looked into the tickets and they're only ten dollars for adults, five for children," Jane explained.

"Hmm, we should do that," Bitzi nodded. "Are you going to go?"

"Well David has his catering functions through the week, and I have to do some more work with that boss of mine," Jane sighed. "Would you mind taking both of them? You might get Alan and Mrs. Powers to join you if you need an extra set of eyes."

"That sounds like a lovely idea," Bitzi smiled. Moments later, the women parted ways with a plan in mind.

Arthur sat in the backseat between the very excited Buster and Brain. Mrs. Powers smiled as she eyed them all in the rearview mirror, though her eyes only focused on the happy Brain, not the scowling Arthur.

"It was nice of you to invite us along, Bitzi. I had no idea there was a Two Times Medieval right here in Elwood City," Mrs. Powers said, looking out the window to the sunset.

"Neither did I, but according to their ticket hotline, the location is only temporary. We're going to one of the hotel convention centers downtown. In fact, here we are now," Bitzi smiled, pulling into a small parking deck. Once everyone was out of the car, their trip inside seemed to take mere seconds.

Inside the auditorium, the seats had been converted to dining areas, and the entire place was decorated with medieval scenery. Brain commented on how accurate everything looked, but Buster, Arthur, and the women stood in stunned silence. They were led to their seats just as the show began on the floor below.

"Hear ye, hear ye!" a man called, his accent thick and medieval-sounding. He explained the rules of the place quickly with a medieval-sounding song, and Buster was thrilled to hear that manners were out the window. Even Arthur perked up when he heard you could throw your leftover bones on the floor as you wished. Napkins were optional and the food was ready when you willed it.

"I'm starting to see why you like this so much," Arthur whispered to Buster as costumed ladies delivered their first flagons of soda and plates piled high with food.

"Yeah," Buster giggled, picking up a huge turkey leg and snapping a bite out of it.

"Wow, that wench's clothes were very accurate," Brain commented, neatly beginning to eat his turkey leg.

"I know that's what they're called, Alan, but let's not call her that when she's around," Mrs. Powers hinted, blushing along with Bitzi as Arthur and Buster began to eat in a messy fashion. They are more like Brain, at least until they noticed there were no knives. Daintily they nibbled their food, trying not to get it onto their clothes.

"Whoa, are those horses?" Arthur gasped. He and Buster had to resist the urge to stand as two knights on horseback entered the arena. A few helpers handing them jousting poles, and trumpets flared as they took to opposite ends of the field.

"This looks dangerous!" Bitzi gasped.

"They're well trained, and they seem to be wearing safety gear under their accurate clothing," Brain explained, snapping a bite off his turkey leg as the announcer approached the bottom of the stands.

"This side will shout for the Blue Knight, and this side for the Red Knight. May the best man win!" he shouted, and the stands erupted with loud cheers, sending food bits flying into the air as people shouted with their mouths open. While Brain and the woman shuddered, Arthur and Buster cheered loudly.

"We're for the Blue Knight," Brain said, nearly biting his nails as he stared at the arena below. Drums rolled, and soon the thundering of hooves sounded. A moment later, the Red Knight's stands filled with shouts and cheers as the Blue Knight tumbled to the arena's floor having been defeated.

"Aww," Buster cried, taking another bite of food.

Two hours later, the group left smelling like medieval food, their stomachs full and their throats sore from cheering for their Blue Knight. All three boys fell asleep on the way back home, but all were eager to write reports the next day, even the skeptical Arthur.

When the following Monday arrived, all received high marks for their reports, and thankfully, Buster's taste for the medieval faded as a new documentary on the Public Channel highlighted the possibility of extraterrestrial life on Mars. He was upset when Mr. Ratburn seemed to ignore this scientific breakthrough, but all was normal for the young boy and his mother, who was very thankful not to have to cook the chicken stuffed into...well, she never let Buster finish to know what was stuffed into what, but she was glad she didn't have to cook it.

~End

Theme 041: Medieval

To complete the themes yourself, I have the list posted on my profile. The list is for any type of fan fiction (one-shot, drabble, etc.) and any fandom. Challenge yourself in other ways to make it more fun, and enjoy!