Sam sank to the ground as he saw the bodies all around him. He looked down at his hands, a look of confusion on his face. He didn't know what he'd done; but he knew that he'd caused this. He'd killed all those people. Sure they had been possessed by demons but they were still people. This was everything that Dean hadn't wanted, everything that his Dad hadn't wanted. He'd become some sort of killing machine. He looked at the ground as he tried to fight back the tears that were forming. He wiped them away quickly as he saw Ruby approaching him. She walked over and she looked down at him, a nervous look on her face.
"Wait, are you…crying?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No" Sam said in a dark voice, "Where's Bobby…is he okay?" Ruby shrugged
"He's over there somewhere". Sam nodded slowly. He looked around for a few seconds and he said,
"What I've done is wrong..." Ruby rolled her eyes. Here we go…she thought. Out loud she said,
"Oh you're pathetic Sam…you think this is bad….you're gonna have to a lot worse than this if you want to bring Dean back". Sam shot her look, "Go screw yourself" he said in a bitter tone and he turned his back on her and went to go and see Bobby. Ruby shook her head, a surprised look on her face. When Sam reached Bobby he froze as he saw the look on Bobby's face; he looked terrified. Their eyes met for a few seconds but neither of them said anything. Sam looked down at the ground – Dean had looked at him like that sometimes. Sam always thought that Dean had known something but he'd never asked; he'd been too scared of what Dean would say. He couldn't bear the thought of his brother thinking he was going to turn into some sort of monster. Ruby came over and she looked at Sam; there was a look of shock on her face.
Sam frowned; he wasn't really in the mood for Ruby or any of her wise cracks.
"Ruby, what?" he snapped, an annoyed look on his face. She pointed at where the bodies lay. Sam turned his head slowly; he didn't know what to expect. His eyes widened as he saw that some of the people had begun to get up. They all had confused looks on their faces; as if they didn't know where they were but that was to be expected. Sam stared at them in amazement. How had this happened; he'd thought that he'd killed them all but here they were. They were alive!
"No wonder Lilith wants you dead…" Ruby murmured as she watched more and more of the people standing up. Bobby walked stepped forward and he too stared at the scene that was unfolding in front of him. He had to get Sam out of here. He tapped Sam on the shoulder and he said,
"Come on son, let's get out of here…Ruby can deal with this".
"Right…I'll just wave my magic wand and magically make everyone okay because I'm the one with the powers" Ruby muttered angrily but she didn't argue. Sam drove the
Impala back to Bobby's house while Bobby took his car. Sam's heart sank when he saw the state that the Impala was in.; all the glass had been smashed out.
Sam knew that Bobby would have a few things to say but Sam was prepared to defend himself. He was tired of watching the people he loved get hurt, watching innocent people get hurt. How could he stand by and watch that when he knew that he could possibly save them, protect them. What was the point of having powers if he couldn't use them? It's not like they would change the way he was.
Bobby and Sam sat down opposite each other. Neither of them were looking at each other and there was an awkward silence in the room. Sam began to get impatient and finally he said,
"Bobby just say what you want to say" Bobby cleared his throat and he looked straight into Sam's eyes. This wasn't his fault; none of this was Sam's fault.
"You can't use those powers, kid…they'll be the death of you" He said simply. He didn't want to mess Sam about. Anger flared up inside Sam; this was the thanks he got for saving Bobby's life. But he didn't say that out loud, instead he said,
"I can use them for the greater good". Bobby sighed. He didn't know how to tell Sam that it wasn't that simple.
"You think Dean would want this? Or your Dad for that matter…" Bobby replied with an anxious look on his face. Sam felt more anger rising up inside him, deep down inside he knew that Bobby was right but his father and brother were gone now.
"Leave Dean and dad out of this, they both spent their lives protecting me from this and for what?" Sam said coldly, "They ended up losing their own lives…people keep on dying around me Bobby, do you know what that feels like? Do you? And now…now I finally have a chance to change that" Bobby felt tears welling up in his eyes; he hated seeing Sam like this but he had to make Sam understand the ramifications of his powers.
"You're a good kid, Sam…but you're dangerous, I don't think you're destined to be this way…and once you've fallen into the dark side…it's practically impossible to escape it." Bobby explained. Sam frowned,
"Then I'll be careful…I'm not stupid Bobby but this is the only way I can save Dean" he said.
"Maybe you can't save him" Bobby said quietly. Sam froze, all his life he'd wanted to know who he was; why he was different from everyone else. The truth had been kept from him and he still didn't know why he was this way. But he'd accepted it; why couldn't Bobby? Rage built up inside him and suddenly he wanted to smother Bobby…he wanted to watch the old man suffer…hear his cries of pain. He wanted to be in control. Sam froze as he realised what he'd been thinking. No, he thought as he stood up and backed way from Bobby, No. Bobby was right, he was dangerous, he couldn't be trusted. He left Bobby's house and he jumped into the Impala and he drove like crazy until he was as far away from Bobby as possible.
Sam sat down the dark, a bottle of whiskey on the table in front of him. He felt like drowning his sorrows but what good would that do him? Nothing seemed to be able to numb the pain he was feeling. He wanted to feel the way he felt when he'd been killing those Demons. Indestructible. But he didn't want to become a monster; he didn't want to become one of the things he'd hunted.
"Who says that you're going to?" Ruby questioned as she stepped out of the shadows. Sam ran a hand threw his hair; he wished that she would just stop appearing like that.
"Hello to you to" Sam said. Ruby walked over to the table and she pulled out a chair and sat down. Sam looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"What do you want, Ruby? You wanna see what other tricks I can do" he said in a bitter voice.
"I doubt that you'll be able to show me any" Ruby shot back, "What happened out there was a one off" Sam frowned and put his hands in his head, he either hand abilities or he didn't and right know he didn't know.
"Maybe Dean was right…maybe you're not cut out for this" Ruby continued.
"What?" Sam said. Ruby carried on as if she hadn't even heard him say anything.
"Everybody has a dark side Sam, especially someone like you because you have powers and I'm scared that once you change you'll never be able to escape it" Sam stared at her blankly,
"Since when did you care about me?" he said with a bitter smile that matched his tone. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was the one who'd made him use his powers in the first place and now she was the one having doubts. He shook his head.
"Isn't that the whole point of this - I embrace my dark side…or whatever" He said.
"You really are clueless aren't you Sammy" Ruby said with a smug look on her face. Sam sighed, "It's Sam and I have powers that I know nothing about so yeah I don't know a lot. I thought that you wanted do 'help' me" he said in a wary voice.
"I do want to help you, you have extraordinary powers Sam…you can kill Lilith, you've already proved that you're stronger than her" Ruby replied. Sam smiled bitterly, a cold look in his eyes.
"Dean was right all along, you didn't care about saving him…you just wanted to turn me into your 'antichrist superstar'" Sam said as he remembered Dean's words.
"Anti-what?"
"Never mind…all you want if for me to kill Lilith, you don't care about what happens to me Ruby and you never have". Ruby didn't say anything as she looked down at the ground.
"Get out" Sam said in an indifferent tone. He had a look on his face that terrified Ruby so she decided that it was best for her to go.
"Oh I'm going…and I'm not coming back. I tried to help you but you want to do it your way? That's fine with me…I'm not going to be around forever right" She stood up and walked over to the door. As she turned the doorknob she turned around, "I guess I'll see you in hell".
As time went on Sam tried to practise using his powers but he was struggling. As much as he hated to admit it he needed help; he'd tried to summon Ruby but nothing had happened. Bobby had called a few times but Sam didn't get back to him. He'd taken on a few hunting jobs here and there but he was afraid that someone might know what had happened the night that Dean had died. He didn't want hunters like Gordon to come after him so he decided to lay low for a while. That however wasn't the main reason; the truth was Sam wasn't all that interested in hunting anymore. He didn't get a buzz out of saving lives anymore. Not when he hadn't been able to save the life of the one person who needed him to the most – Dean. Why should he continue to play the hero when deep down inside he felt like a failure. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Sam frowned; he hadn't told anyone where he was and he didn't think that any of the motel staff would bother him. He grabbed his gun and he walked over to the door. He opened quickly and he froze, the gun fell out his hand and landed of the floor. Sam backed away slowly, his face white with shock,
"No..." he whispered, his eyes widening as he stared at the person standing in the door way