A1969: it's been a while, as always! Anyway, what's new?
Kagome: oh, this and that, the earth's still round, the moon's still there, Inuyasha still thinks his brother's a creep and Naraku's still Naraku.
A1969: aw…nothing new?
Inuyasha: this chapter is new. And, yes, Kagome, I still think Sesshoumaru is a creep.
A1969: boy, you sure hate him. Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed the last chapter! Thanks a million!
Chapter Forty: Yes
XoXoXo
How could she???
Throughout the day, Sesshoumaru could think of nothing else but Helen's 'betrayal' to him. There was a tiny portion of his brain that reminded him that he shouldn't care, that Helen had every right to 'betray' him after what he did to her and that it would be better this way, but no—he was too consumed with thoughts of revenge, all centered around his dear cousin.
The bastard.
He was going to kill him.
He had been thinking about her the whole day. His head was completely devoid of everything, even Naraku, and only thoughts of her remained. Dang it. His self-control was slipping. Maybe it was best if he didn't turn her away. Maybe they would have been happy by now.
What a foolish notion.
"Is something the matter, my lord?" Jaken's voice brought him back to the present.
Sesshoumaru glared down at him.
"Gah!" Jaken squeaked. "I'm sorry for asking, my lord; I know it's none of my business!"
Sesshoumaru turned his attention to the little girl who rode on the dragon behind them. Rin had been quiet ever since she learned that it was he who sent Helen away. And now, what could Rin possibly be thinking? He inwardly growled. If Rin harbored ill feelings toward him for what he did, what might Lady Shinsuke and Lady Takeida feel when they learnt of what he did to the former's daughter? It seemed that a lot of people hated him today…
Great.
Who else hated him?
XoXoXo
"Lord Toshimaru, may I ask why you have honored me with your presence today?" Lady Shinsuke asked, smiling, as she stared at the demon lord kneeling across from her.
Toshimaru smiled in return. "I felt like seeing your cherry blossoms," he said, glancing out the open veranda, at the pink storm of cherry petals. The scent easily permeated the room, bathing them in the scent of cherry blossoms. "Beautiful."
Lady Shinsuke continued to smile at him. "Oh, it is not my blossoms you have come for," she said knowingly.
Toshimaru's expression suddenly turned grave. "No," he agreed, turning his gaze back to her. "I've come here for something else. I do not wish to be the bearer of bad news, my lady, but I fear I must."
Lady Shinsuke became more alert. "Has anything happened to Helen?" she automatically asked.
The demon lord frowned. "Yes…most unfortunately. But she is alright…physically."
The demoness raised an eyebrow at him. "Physically?" she asked. "What do you mean?"
"Lord Sesshoumaru—"
Lady Shinsuke raised a hand to stop him. "I know what you will say," she informed. "Lord Sesshoumaru has…hurt her again, hasn't he?"
Toshimaru nodded reluctantly. "The worst thing he could do," he muttered.
To his surprise, Lady Shinsuke sighed in defeat. "Lord Sesshoumaru is not someone who can willingly give his heart away, no matter how much he wishes to," she said, sighing. "I suppose it is not his fault that he was born that way. After I sent Helen away, his mother raised him to be as heartless as possible. And she was quite successful."
"You mean to say," Toshimaru began, "that you were aware of the possibilities?"
"Yes." She sighed. "I knew there would come a time when he would hurt her to the extreme. I wanted to protect Helen from it, but…she didn't want to be protected. Have I ever told of the one time she left this era and returned to her own?"
"No, I'm afraid you didn't."
Lady Shinsuke smiled at him. "She left because of him," she said softly. "She couldn't stand the hurt anymore, so she left…but she still returned and, though I wish to say that it was because of me, it was still because of him."
They were silent for a moment. "Tell me Toshimaru, how badly hurt is she?"
Toshimaru sighed. "Near lifeless, I'm afraid, this is why I've come to you with a proposal."
"Oh?"
Toshimaru smiled and told her what he wanted.
Lady Shinsuke's eyes widened. "What…are you…serious?"
"Most serious."
"But…why?"
Toshimaru shrugged. "I think it would be best."
"But…you know Helen…"
"Time heals all wounds. I'm sure Helen is smart enough to understand that."
XoXoXo
"Seriously?" Kagome asked, her eyes wide. She, Helen and Sango were sitting apart from Miroku and Inuyasha who were discussing the possible reasons for Naraku's prolonged absence.
"Not so loud!" Helen hissed. She was talking again, but there was still that lifeless look in her eyes.
"Sesshoumaru…kissed you and then…turned you away?" Both Kagome and Sango were incredulous.
Helen sighed and then looked away. Why did she even bother to tell these two?
"And then…Toshimaru kissed you," Sango muttered. "And you said Sesshoumaru's name?"
"Please don't say it again," Helen said, burying her face in her hands. "I feel so guilty for what I did to Toshimaru. Oh…I must have hurt him a lot."
"Toshimaru's strong," Kagome said. "He understands. Wait, are you two together?"
"No…I don't know." Helen drew her knees to her chin and leaned her head on them. "I'm so confused, you guys. I…I don't know what to think. I know I should…stop…loving…Sesshoumaru…but…I can't…and I don't want to. I know Toshimaru would be best but…I can't love him."
"Helen." Kagome placed a hand on her cousin's shoulder. "I know how you feel. But I think…you should just…listen to your heart."
"Kagome, you and Sango both know that if my heart could just scream, it would scream one name," Helen said, closing her eyes. Talking about it all…hurt. "Why? Of all the possible things to happen to me, why this? I would rather Naraku absorbed me than this…I'd rather die than this…I'd…"
"Helen, stop berating yourself," Sango said. "Sesshoumaru turned you away, so what?"
Kagome nodded. "Sango's right," she said. "There are many guys out there who'd treat you better."
"I don't want to be treated better."
"So, you're saying you still want Sesshoumaru?" Kagome snapped. She hated seeing Helen acting so foolish.
Helen was silent. She eventually sighed and raised her head. "I'm going for a walk," she said, standing up. "I need to think."
"You go do that," Kagome agreed, nodding. "Do you want me and Sango to come with you?"
"No thanks," Helen refused then, with a bit of sarcasm, she added, "I might end up crying buckets. Wouldn't want you two to drown now, would I?"
XoXoXo
"Master Jaken," Rin said, kneeling beside Jaken who was sitting on his own. "Lord Sesshoumaru hasn't been himself lately, has he?" Rin glanced around to make sure that her lord was nowhere to be seen. And, as fate would have it, Sesshoumaru just happened to be away at the moment.
Jaken let out an exasperated sigh. He wanted to disagree with Rin, but he knew that the little girl was right. "Be quiet, Rin."
"But, it's the truth," Rin said, her big brown eyes wide with concern. "Ever since…he sent Helen-san away, he's been acting…angry?"
Jaken sighed again. Sesshoumaru was never an easy person to read and, if he was angry, no one would have even known of it. It seemed that Rin was very perceptive.
"He hasn't been acting angry, Rin," Jaken reprimanded. "Now, watch your tongue!"
"But, he is, Master Jaken, he is!" Rin persisted. "And if he's mad because he sent Helen-san away, then why doesn't he just go and get her?"
"Rin, where do you get such foolish notions?" the imp demanded.
"I watch, Master Jaken. And I'm sure you do too." For a seven year old, she could be quiet surprising at times.
Jaken looked around then he lowered his voice and leaned close to Rin's ear. "Fine…I'll admit—he is upset about what he did, Rin."
Rin's eyes widened. "So…it's the reason why Lord Sesshoumaru has been kicking you around a lot lately?"
Jaken sweat dropped. "That's beside the point!" he said indignantly. Though, it was quite true that Sesshoumaru had been kicking him a lot as of late. "The point is, Rin, we don't need to make him any more upset than he already is—meaning, you shouldn't mention Helen or anything that might remind him of her, got it?"
Rin sighed. "Master Jaken," she began. "Why is it that Lord Sesshoumaru can't get over his pride?"
"That I do not know."
XoXoXo
Helen stood, leaning against a tall spruce, her eyes were closed and she was silent, neither moving nor feeling. She didn't want to feel at the moment. Too many thoughts were running through her mind. For a moment, she wondered what made her tell Kagome and Sango everything—why she was so upset, why she felt so guilty, why she wasn't with Sesshoumaru…
It only seemed to hurt even worse than before. But Helen knew that she had to snap out of it eventually—she wasn't going to be some sort of lifeless zombie all because some guy (demon) turned her down…
She sighed. But it was so hard to do. It was so hard to pretend that everything was fine.
Helen slowly opened her eyes. In the distance, she heard the crickets singing, announcing the coming of dusk. In the gathering shadows, she could slowly make out tiny pinpoints of green light. Fireflies, she realized, sighing again. They were fireflies…
She felt a slight tightening in her chest. She had once pictured, she admitted, being together with Seshsoumaru amidst the fireflies…
How stupid of her.
The darkness gradually fell and the fireflies flitted between the blades of grass. They darted in and out of the trees, throwing their soft green light all around. How different their light was from the stars, from the moon…
Helen let out another long sigh. She had better return to Inuyasha and the others before they thought she committed suicide. Stifling another sigh, she turned to leave.
"Helen."
Helen stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening, the blood running fast through her veins. She slowly turned around just as Sesshoumaru emerged amidst the green light of the fireflies.
XoXoXo
"Demon!"
Kagura sighed as she stared at the shrine keepers in front of her. They were holding sutras in their hand. Very funny. "Step aside," Kagura ordered lazily. "I don't have time to waste on you."
The men, some three of them, narrowed their eyes at her. "We will defend this shrine with our lives!" one of them declared.
Kagura shrugged. "Your lives, eh?" She waved her fan and her wind blades sliced through the air and through the men's flesh, sending flecks of blood on the cobblestones of the courtyard. The men didn't have time to scream.
The wind witch sighed as she made her way through the corpses and through the blood. Why was she still doing Naraku's dirty work? This was just point blank stupidity. She made her way up the shrine steps and through the double oak doors. Inside the small shrine was a raised dais and on this dais was a table. Behind the table, hanging on the wall, was the scroll Naraku told her to retrieve.
She wrinkled her nose as the smell of incense became stronger. Really, why was she still doing Naraku's bidding? I must be crazy, she thought as she hopped onto the dais and looked, for a second, at the scroll. It was yellowed and ancient, covered in mold in some places, mildew in others. It was also covered in old Chinese characters which she, unfortunately, couldn't read. She rolled her eyes. Leave it to Naraku to want something as enigmatic as an old scroll.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Do you have it?" Naraku's voice sounded eager. He was sitting against the wall of his chamber, near the light of the low burning brazier.
Kagura sighed and tossed him the scroll she had acquired. Really, she was already free—she had her heart—but she continued to do his dirty work? That was just so wrong. "Of course I have it," she said, her tone nonchalant. "I had to kill a couple of shrine keepers to get it, but there you go."
Naraku's eyes gleamed with pleasure as he slowly unrolled the scroll. A wicked smirk tilted the corners of his lips. "I knew it."
Kagura looked sharply at him. Naraku sounded pleased. Too pleased.
"What is that thing, anyway?" she asked.
Naraku held the scroll closer to the brazier's light and his smirk turned into a wicked grin. "A saying," Naraku murmured, his eyes caressing the characters written on the scroll. "I had to know if what I heard all along was true—and it turns out it was."
Kagura looked puzzled. "Come, and read it," Naraku invited.
With some trepidation, Kagura knelt in front of her former master and he tilted the scroll towards her so she could read. "I can't read that," she said. "It's Chinese."
"Of course you can't read it," Naraku said, sounding amused at her ignorance. "This scroll is ancient—it goes back to the time of the first four demon lords of Japan."
"And what does it say?"
Naraku frowned slightly. Kagura was his ally now, not his minion, something he would have to get used to. "Listen, Kagura."
"And so, the four corners of the rising sun were blessed
Onto the North was granted wealth,
Upon the South was entrusted wisdom,
To the West was assigned absolute power,
And time upon the East."
Kagura raised her eyebrows. "It doesn't sound like much," she pointed out.
Naraku resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Do you not yet see the reason why I wanted to absorb Helen when you first told me of her?" he asked.
Kagura frowned. That had been so long ago…
"Well, let me explain," he went on. "Have you noticed that the north clan, Toshimaru's clan, the Hitoshi clan, is wealthy, as stated in this saying?"
"They're all wealthy," Kagura pointed out.
"Toshimaru's wealth exceeds the other three clans put together," Naraku said, sighing. "The south clan, the Iwamura clan, possesses wisdom. Sesshoumaru's clan, the Taisho, have absolute power—"
"And…the East clan…the Shirogawa, Helen's clan…have time?" Kagura asked, perplexed.
"Yes." Naraku's grin widened. "Four traits that characterize the clans from one another—wealth, wisdom, power and time."
"I don't get where this is going."
"The Shirogawa are time keepers," Naraku said. "They have the ability to twist time to their will. Lady Shinsuke used that skill of hers when she created the Bone Eater's well."
The pieces were slowly connecting in Kagura's mind. "You wanted to absorb Helen…because she has the same skill as her mother?"
"Yes, although she does not know of it, ignorant girl that she is," Naraku said. His eyes held a wicked gleam in them as he continued to gaze at the scroll.
"So, you intend to absorb her?" Kagura asked.
"Yes."
"Why don't you just go for her mother? Lady Shinsuke is more powerful," she pointed out.
Naraku raised an eyebrow. He hated it when he had to explain himself. "I will not choose lady Shinsuke because she is far more experienced that Helen. She may not look like it, but she is a very formidable opponent. Fighting against her would be like fighting against time itself."
"Why time, though?" Kagura wondered. "Why not go for the absolute power of the Taisho clan?" Even now, it still gave her a little thrill to say even part of Sesshoumaru's name.
"You don't think I've tried absorbing your precious Sesshoumaru?" Naraku raised an eyebrow at her.
Kagura suppressed the blush that threatened to tinge her cheeks and growled softly. "Shut up."
Naraku smirked. "So, Kagura," he went on. "Be prepared—there is something I want you to do. Soon."
XoXoXo
"What are you…doing here?"
Helen felt a catch in her voice even as she just tried to ask him a simple question. Really…what was he doing here? A million possibilities raced through her mind, each more unlikely than the next. Looking at him, she felt the pain in her chest worsen. Did he just love making her suffer?
Sesshoumaru inwardly sighed. Was it his fault that he just happened to be passing by when her scent reached him? Lately, Rin and Jaken had taken to talking about him—while he was there—in very hushed voices, thinking that he wouldn't be able to hear them. Most of their conversation was centered on none other then Helen and he couldn't stand it, thus he left them so they could talk without him having to hear.
But, really, if he had known that he would run into the young woman in front of him, he wouldn't have chosen to go wandering off.
"What are you doing here?" she asked again, her tone strained.
"I was merely passing by," he said. There was a part of him that said that today he was either lucky or misfortunate. He could see pain in her eyes, pain caused by him. He didn't like the fact that it was he who caused her so much pain.
"Oh." She tried to sound and look nonchalant, but unlike he, she had a lot to learn about the art of hiding one's emotions.
Sesshoumaru sighed again as he felt his newly awakened emotions conflict within him again. He wanted her, but at the same time, he had to deny himself. Hadn't he promised himself that the only thing he would care for was power?
He stared at her for a moment. She looked very pretty, standing there amidst the soft light of the fireflies…Wait…what the heck was he thinking? Besides…he was still seeing her in Toshimaru's arms…
At the thought of Toshimaru, he unknowingly let out a growl of anger.
Helen's eyes widened. "What are you growling at me for?" she demanded.
His eyes snapped to hers. Damn it. He could still see her with Toshimaru. He was actually feeling very, very, very, very, very jealous.
Helen bit her lower lip. What on earth was he so mad about? He looked mad…and enraged…and annoyed… To think that a menagerie of emotions would actually appear on his face was quite astounding.
Sesshoumaru glared at her for a moment then he turned on his heel and walked away. It was best not to tempt these blasted emotions of his.
"Wait, Sesshoumaru."
He stopped in his tracks and glanced over his shoulder at her.
Helen looked hesitant. "Did you…did you…ever…care about me?"
He was silent for a moment. "No."
Helen lowered her eyes to the ground. "Oh."
"Anything else?"
"No," she whispered, almost to herself.
Sesshoumaru stared at her for a moment and then he walked away.
It was a moment later that Helen realized that the pain in her chest was getting worse. It was as though someone were ripping her heart to shreds. Sesshoumaru didn't care about her. Maybe, that was why he was constantly hurting her, because he could care less about what she felt…
And I've been stupid enough to continue hoping, she thought bitterly. All this time…I've been hoping for nothing.
XoXoXo
"Helen sure is taking long," Sango muttered as she stared at the forest, her eyes narrowed.
"Yeah," Kagome said, sighing. "Do you think something might've happened to her?" She sounded worried.
"Why'd you let her go off on her own, anyway?" Inuyasha muttered, keeping his golden eyes on the fish that was grilling by their camp fire.
"She really looked like she needed to think," Kagome answered. "Now I see we shouldn't have let her go off on her own."
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "If she's left to cry buckets, she'll be back soon enough," he scoffed.
"But she still looked so upset."
"Sesshoumaru's no great loss," Inuyasha said. "She'll get over him soon enough…I still think we should hack off his head, though."
"Inuyasha," Kagome sighed.
"What?" The hanyou didn't look at her as he eagerly helped himself to one of the bigger fish.
"Inuyasha that was mine!" Shippou snapped, throwing himself at Inuyasha who swatted him with his free hand, sending the poor fox flying against Kohaku's chest.
"You okay, Shippou?" the boy asked as he caught Shippou in his hands.
"Yeah, thanks, Kohaku." Shippou turned his gaze back to Inuyasha. "Inuyasha!"
"Get your own fish!"
"That was my fish!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
There was a loud thud as Inuyasha's bare fist made contact with the top of Shippou's head. "Kagome!"
"Helen."
Inuyasha and Shippou looked up from each other. Helen was coming out of the trees, looking both defeated and resigned.
Kagome and Sango threw worried glances at each other. What could have happened to make Helen look so down again? And she was just getting better too.
"Are you okay?" Kagome asked cautiously.
To her surprise, Helen gave her a smile. "Oh, I'm fine, Kagome," she said. Kagome could easily see that she was trying to act cheerful. "I just ran into Sesshoumaru, that's all."
"What?!" Everyone turned their eyes on her. Each was thinking what the impact this would have on their friend.
"It's no big deal," Helen said nonchalantly.
"Wow, she's suddenly miss sunshine," Shippou muttered.
Helen shrugged. "I don't really see the point of moping," she said.
Kagome narrowed her eyes in concern. Oh, Helen, she thought, no matter how much you try to hide it, we can still the pain in your eyes…
XoXoXo
"Naraku's getting lazy," Inuyasha said. It had been three days since Helen's encounter with Sesshoumaru and they were on the move again, seeking out Naraku. Helen had been nothing but cheerful during the entire trip, much to Kagome's dismay. Though, she really was trying to get over it, Kagome and the others could still see the pain in Helen's eyes.
"Isn't that a good thing?" Helen pointed out. The smile on her face was just…not genuine enough.
"It would be if Naraku were really lazy," Miroku said. "But, as always, even during periods of inactivity, Naraku is constantly planning something."
"Right," Sango agreed. "He always has a trick up his sleeve."
Inuyasha suddenly stopped in his tracks, his eyes narrowed at the sky. "Inuyasha, what's wrong?" Kagome asked.
Inuyasha sniffed the air. "Look up there!" He pointed to the sky where a dot of glowing blue light grew bigger and bigger as it approached them with inhuman speed.
"What is it?" Kagome asked as Inuyasha drew out his Tessaiga.
"I dunno, but we're about to find out!" Inuyasha said, pointing his sword at the light. Besides, that orb of light looks like Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha thought, glancing at Helen. I can't let her see him—who knows how she'll react?
"Ah, wait, Inuyasha!" Helen said, grabbing Inuyasha's arm. "Don't!"
"Helen, let go!" Inuyasha said, trying to shake her off.
Helen raised her eyebrows. "That's not Sesshoumaru, if that's what you're thinking," she pointed out. Everyone glanced at her, surprised. Kagome inwardly sighed. There it was again—the look of pain in Helen's eyes.
"Then who is it?" Inuyasha.
"It's—"
Before Helen could even finish her sentence, the orb of blue light landed lightly in front of Inuyasha, raising a small cloud of dust as it touched the ground. The orb slowly diminished in size and took on a humanoid form. The light slowly subsided to reveal none other than the lord of the north.
"—Toshimaru," Helen finished.
He raised his hand and smiled at her. "Hello."
XoXoXo
"Cherry blossom viewing?" Helen raised her eyebrows at Toshimaru. Once again, they were sitting underneath the sprawling branches of an oak. Helen was sitting next to Toshimaru who, in turn, was sitting next to Kagome. Kagome thought he looked amusing, sitting cross-legged on the ground. He was just so different from his cold, impassive and aristocratic cousin.
Toshimaru smiled and nodded. "Yes," he said. "During this time of the year, I am proud to say that the Cherry blossoms at my castle have the ability to eclipse your own mother's blossoms—which is miraculous."
Helen frowned. "I don't know if I should go," she went on, sighing. "I mean…it seems pretty…pointless."
"You got that right," Inuyasha muttered. "Who the hell would wanna waste their time watching flowers?"
"Inuyasha!" Kagome reprimanded.
"Keh!"
"Anyway," Helen went on, as though uninterrupted. "I'm really afraid I can't—I'm helping Inuyasha and the others with Naraku."
Toshimaru frowned. "A well-born lady such as yourself shouldn't get involved in petty half-demon quarrels," he said. Before Inuyasha could react, he added, "I meant no offense, Inuyasha."
"Whatever."
Kagome smiled to herself. Really, he was just so different from Sesshoumaru. For a brief instant, she wondered how Helen could have fallen for the latter and not for the former.
"I still don't know," Helen said quietly.
"Do come," Toshimaru said. "All the lords and ladies will be there—a chance to show you off, in my opinion. You have become the topic of gossip among lords and ladies, you know."
Helen made a face. "All the more reason not to go," she grumbled. "Besides, I don't think I'm worth showing off. And…you mentioned that…all the lords and the ladies…"
Kagome immediately understood and so did everyone else. "I did invite Lady Takeida," Toshimaru said, getting what Helen meant. "But…I didn't invite anyone you wouldn't want there. Of course, Lady Takeida may choose to…ask him to come, but I don't think she will—she knows he is preoccupied with Naraku."
Sango noted how Toshimaru avoided saying Sesshoumaru's name. A wise move, thought the slayer. He certainly is tact, I'll give him that.
"I still don't know," Helen said doubtfully.
For a moment, Toshimaru looked disappointed, but then he smiled. "Well, if you do not wish to go, then it is alright with me."
"Oh, come on, Helen," Kagome suddenly said. "Go. You could use a little distraction."
"But—"
"Kagome's right," Sango said. "A nice little party is exactly what you need."
"But, Naraku is—"
"Naraku won't take over the world in one day, Helen." Inuyasha rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest.
"Whoa, if Inuyasha wants me to go, you guys must want me to go pretty bad," Helen muttered. "Still, I don't think—"
"It is just for a day, Helen," Miroku said.
Helen sighed. "Oh, all right," she said, defeated. "I'll go. But I swear—if everyone starts talking about me, I'm bowing out!"
Toshimaru smiled, delighted.
XoXoXo
"Ridiculous."
Sesshoumaru frowned at his mother who was sitting across from him. "You interrupted my search for Naraku for mere Cherry blossoms?"
Lady Takeida rolled her eyes. "You were never one to socialize," she said, sighing. Then, in a lower voice, she added, "If that's the case then why are so many demonesses in love with you?"
He would have rolled his eyes. "Is that all you wished to say, Mother?" he asked, nearly impatient.
"Oh yes," she replied, smiling. "Of course, you are coming with me."
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"Why not? Pray tell," Lady Takeida said.
"It is pointless and useless," Sesshoumaru said. "I have more important matters to take care of."
"All the lords—"
"Not interested."
"—and the ladies of the lands—"
"Not interested."
"—will be there," she finished, amidst her son's interruptions. She narrowed her eyes meaningfully at him. "As well as Lady Shinsuke."
Sesshoumaru gave her a look. If Helen was going, then it was best if he wouldn't go. Besides, the host was his bastard cousin whom he might just kill if he were to see him.
"No."
Lady Takeida raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you avoiding Toshimaru?" she asked.
"No." Technically, he was avoiding both Helen and Toshimaru, so he wasn't lying.
"Sesshoumaru, you are not being accommodating."
"I never have been."
She raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Such disrespect from you, my son? I never thought you were capable of it."
Sesshoumaru scowled at her. "I do not wish to waste my time, Mother," he said in a somewhat more respectful tone.
"One day is no great waste," Lady Takeida said dismissively. "Naraku will not dominate the world in one day, my son."
"This gathering is not important," Sesshoumaru said.
"You have been absent from many a gathering because of Naraku." Lady Takeida frowned at him. "Besides how will it look—you turning down an invitation from your dear cousin?"
"He invited you."
"Stop being so negative!" Lady Takeida exclaimed. "Now, come with me, please. I do not wish to go alone."
"Lady Shinsuke will be there."
"Oh, Shinsuke is doubtful about going," Lady Takeida said, shrugging.
"You said she was going."
"I only said that because I hoped that Helen being there would make you go," she said, sighing. "How very wrong of me."
Sesshoumaru stared at her for a moment. So Helen wasn't going?
"Very well," he said grudgingly. "I shall accompany you."
XoXoXo
"I think I'm going to leave," Helen muttered to Lady Shinsuke who only smiled in amusement. They were in Toshimaru's garden. All around them other youkai talked among themselves, a few ladies laughing loudly while fanning themselves. Every now and then, one of them would throw Helen a curious look much to her dismay. It seems that Toshimaru hadn't been lying when he said that she was a topic of gossip in certain circles.
"But aren't the cherry blossoms lovely?" Lady Shinsuke asked. It was true. The cherry blossoms blew all around them, sending sprays of pink everywhere, their scent permeating the air.
"Hmm…" Was all Helen could say as she glanced around. "I really do wanna leave," she went on. "I look ridiculous in this outfit." Lady Shinsuke only laughed. For the occasion, they had forced Helen to wear a kimono. In truth, it was a very lovely kimono. It was white in color with black lining. The kimono had a silver dragon from the hem all the way to the thighs with a black obi tied with a silver chord.
"I look like an idiot," Helen went on, rolling her eyes. "Can't I leave yet?"
"And disappoint Lord Toshimaru?"
Helen inwardly sighed. Ever since she and her mother had arrived, she became conscious of the fact that everyone seemed to be talking about her…or maybe she was just paranoid.
"You mean the young lady in white?" Helen tilted her head to the whispers. The owner of the hushed voice was a young woman with blue hair and startling green eyes. "The one with Lady Shinsuke?"
"Yes, that's the one." Helen threw her mother a furtive look. Lady Shinsuke gave her a small smile and shook her head.
"She was the one who was supposed to marry Lord Sesshoumaru?" the owner of the first voice whispered. Helen felt her blood run cold and Lady Shinsuke frowned. "Well, she isn't that beautiful and there's something a bit unrefined about her…"
"Not so loud, Momitsu!" her companion warned.
"Come," Lady Shinsuke whispered, making her way amidst the falling blossoms.
Helen, who still felt rooted to the spot, had to be dragged by the arm by her mother who led her to the very edge of the garden, away from everyone else.
"Please, please, can I go now?" Helen begged, her voice low.
Lady Shinsuke glanced around them. A few ladies were looking at them but they hastily looked away. "Not yet," she said.
"But they are talking about me!" Helen hissed, her eyes frantic.
"That was only Momitsu," Lady Shinsuke said dismissively. "She is the daughter of a lesser courtier in Lord Sesshoumaru's palace." She suddenly smiled. "Before you came along, she hoped that she would be the one to marry him."
For some strange reason, Helen felt the jealousy well up inside her like a spring. "Really?" she said, trying to be nonchalant.
Lady Shinsuke only smiled. "Yes," she said. "Everyone knows how spiteful she is towards her rivals and no one really takes her seriously."
Wow, Helen thought sarcastically. First Kagura, now this Momitsu person…who else is in love with Sesshoumaru?
"Still," Helen said. "I can't stand gossip! Please, I have to go."
"Not yet," Lady Shinsuke said. "Please, wait a little while for Lord Toshimaru."
Helen sighed and turned away. At that exact moment, the wind picked up speed, sending a spray of cherry blossoms around them. Helen looked in another direction and her eyes landed on a young man at the center of the crowd whose eyes were fixed intently on her.
Her eyes widened. "Sesshoumaru."
XoXoXo
What was she doing here?
Sesshoumaru felt Helen's gaze on him and wanted to turn away, but found it utterly impossible. In that instant, when their eyes found each other, time seemed to stop. Amidst the crowd of noblemen that surrounded him, Sesshoumaru couldn't hear or see them—it was as though his mind was fixed wholly on the young woman whom his gaze found.
She was staring at him, he realized. He could easily make out the look of pain that clouded her eyes—pain and longing. He realized then that she was still hurt about what he did and, much to his surprise, he wanted to go to her. He wanted to go to her and, despite the crowd, take her in his arms. He wanted to erase the look of pain in her silver eyes…
Looking at her from across the crowd, he realized one thing…
He couldn't go on anymore.
He couldn't continue this way. He needed her, he realized. Despite the fact that he vowed power and nothing else, he needed her…
He had to have her.
"Sesshoumaru." Even from across the noisy crowd, he could hear her voice. Her voice did it. His mind made up, Sesshoumaru made his way through the crowd and towards her.
"My lords and ladies." Toshimaru's voice cut through the air, stopping all chatter. Sesshoumaru stopped in his tracks. His bastard cousin had made his way towards Helen and he stood next to her. "I have something very important to say." To his surprise, he drew Helen with him towards the center of the crowd. Her eyes never left him despite the fact that she was embarrassed about being made the center of attention. Really, what was Toshimaru up to?
"There is another reason I called you all here today," Toshimaru went on, smiling. Sesshoumaru inwardly growled. That smile was so fake.
"To taste your excellent saki!" one of the lords proclaimed, holding up his cup of saki. A couple of demons laughed at this.
Toshimaru only smiled patiently at the man as the laughter died down. "Yes, that too," he admitted. "But there is something else. My lords and ladies, I have a question to ask today—the most important question I will ever ask in my life."
Toshimaru turned to Helen and, much to Sesshoumaru and Helen's surprise, he knelt in front of her…
"Lady Helen, will you do me the honor of marrying me?"
For the first time in his life, Sesshoumaru felt the wind knocked out of him. He was so shocked, he wasn't even angry…
His eyes found Helen's and she looked just as shocked as him. All around them, everyone was silent, their attention fixed on the couple in front of them.
Helen didn't know what to feel. Should she feel shocked or flattered? But no, she searched the crowd with her eyes until she found Sesshoumaru. He was looking at her with a look in his eyes. And she recognized what the look was—desperation.
The moment Toshimaru's question finally made sense to her, her mind was ready with an answer—no. She wouldn't marry him. Why on earth would she? She loved Sesshoumaru but…
Was this love worth it? Was her love worth all the hurt and pain he had inflicted on her? As she continued to look at Sesshoumaru, she realized that her love for him did her no good. Why must she continue to love him if all he did was hurt her?
Sesshoumaru himself was still stunned. His first instinct was to carry Helen off—then come back and kill his blasted cousin. He was halfway through deciding whether he would or not, when Helen's gaze suddenly left his.
She looked at Toshimaru.
"Yes."
XoXoXo
A1969: once again, I'm such a sloppy updater and I'm sorry for that. Truth be told, I was supposed to update my "Last Moon Demon" fic, but I couldn't since this chapter has been on my mind since like forever…
Kagome: you're rambling.
A1969: oh, sorry about that. Anyway, thank so to those who've read and reviewed the last chapter!
Inuyasha: yeah, yeah, they know how grateful you are already!
A1969: oh, and don't forget to review!