A1969: whoa, it's been ages since I last updated!

Miroku: why, we wonder…?

Sango: wait, don't tell us…you were…busy.

A1969: yup! Do I really need to tell you that I was holed up in the abomination known as 'school'?

Miroku: is it really that bad?

A1969: YES! But I don't think you'd find it bad, Miroku…not with all the girls in school.

Miroku: really, now?

Sango: ANYWAY…-glares- the author is very grateful for the reviews you've all given in for the last chapter, honestly, she is, aren't you?
A1969: oh, yeah! Really, thanks a mill for the reviews! Oh, and I found a song for Helen and Toshimaru—Waiting for Yesterday, by David Archuleta!

Miroku: please don't sing!
A1969: -glares-

Chapter Forty-One: Hints and a Song

XoXoXo

Stunned.

He was stunned. Surely…Helen didn't say…yes?

But the cheers of the demons that surrounded him told him otherwise. Beside him, the lords and the ladies applauded, their eyes fixed on the pair in front of them.

Toshimaru stood up from the ground and drew Helen into his arms. Helen didn't know what to think at the moment. A sinking feeling suddenly seemed to rise in her, the same kind of feeling that you get when you know that you've made a wrong choice, a choice that you have to live by with the rest of your life.

Instinctively, she peered over Toshimaru's shoulder. She saw all the demons that were applauding her choice, but there was only one demon she was looking for…

There, she found him. Sesshoumaru was the only person who didn't cheer with the rest. Of course he wouldn't. Amidst the throng of demons that were clapping, he was the only one that stood like a statue, his cold face impassive. What was that look in his eyes? She was certain it wasn't there before…

"You surprised me," Toshimaru suddenly whispered into her ear. Amidst the cheering crowd, she was certain no one would hear.

"Why?" she whispered back, her eyes still fixed on Sesshoumaru, who was still staring at her, his eyes growing colder and colder with each passing moment.

"It doesn't matter," Toshimaru murmured. "You're going to be mine."

Sesshoumaru heard him. Despite the cheering crowd, he heard his cousin's whispered words. Was it just him or…did he just feel a tightening in his chest? Odd…

Helen was still looking at him. She had an almost desperate look in her eyes…

He wanted to charge through the crowd, grab her and make a run for it…then come back and kill Toshimaru. Instinct told him to do just that, but he restrained himself. His desires were childish…

Helen continued to stare at him. She suddenly wanted to break free from Toshimaru's arms and run to him—she was an idiot, she decided. A foolish idiot, with foolish notions…

"Helen." Lady Shinsuke approached them both, a smile on her face, and to Helen's surprise, she was not alone. Lady Takeida was right behind her. Her face was pinched and something told Helen that she was not pleased with her.

Her mother pulled her away from Toshimaru and drew her into her arms. "Was this why you were against me leaving?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at her mother, feigning happiness at her decision.

"Yes," she answered curtly.

Helen smiled. She had to pretend that everything was alright. She had to pretend that she did not regret her rash decision…Besides…even if she did regret it, she had very good reasons for saying yes…

"I suppose I must congratulate you," Lady Takeida said, sighing, as she gave Helen a hug. "It really is a shame that my son has been so stubborn," she whispered in Helen's ear. "And a fool. He has never been stuck up about anything as this before. Trying to stop himself from loving you was immature and foolish." Helen blushed as Lady Takeida released her and looked intently at her then turned her attention to Toshimaru.

Helen turned her eyes on the flock of demons that were pouring down on them, offering their congratulations. But there was only one demon she wanted to find. Her eyes scanned the crowd, searching for Sesshoumaru again.

But he was gone.

XoXoXo

Sesshoumaru calmly walked out of the palace doors and into the gathering twilight. He needed to go away before he did anything stupid, like decapitating his blasted cousin...

Wait, that wasn't stupid—that was a very, very, very smart thing to do...

He stopped at the gates of the palace. The grounds seemed deserted, except for the guards that patrolled the area. The guards that came across him bowed reverently, but he ignored them; he was too preoccupied at the moment.

Without hesitating, Sesshoumaru flew off into the sky, his mind wandering...

Why on earth had Helen said yes? He could think of nothing else as the cool night air whipped past him. He thought that Helen would say no, but instead, she had surprised him and said yes...

What could that girl have been thinking? He was suddenly angry at her. Angry at her for doing this to him, angry at her for doing this to herself...

He knew she didn't want to marry Toshimaru. He knew—and it was a bit arrogant of him to think of it, but it was the truth, anyway—that she loved him. Didn't she say that she was far too deeply in love with him to change the way she felt about him? And yet she had said yes...

What was she playing at? He let out a sigh as he sped on, his mind still full of the drowned look in her eyes. He should have stayed, stayed and took her away, stayed and challenged Toshimaru for her hand...

The tight pain in his chest became even more pronounced. He narrowed his eyes angrily. It seemed that Helen's choice caused him pain...

He wanted to turn back, turn back and go back for her and who knew? Maybe Helen wanted him to fight for her...

Sesshoumaru let out another sigh of frustration. A part of him wanted to go back and fight Toshimaru and kill him. He had no illusions about who was the stronger between them. He could easily slaughter Toshimaru. He would enjoy seeing Toshimaru's blood on the blade of Ryuko...

He stopped flying, hovering in midair, feeling the wind blow softly against him.

Should he or should he not turn back?

He narrowed his eyes. What was the use of turning back if Helen had made her choice? She could have said no, but she still said yes.

Sesshoumaru continued flying on, the Northern palace falling behind him.

Helen had made her choice, he had made his.

That didn't stop him from feeling angry, though.

XoXoXo

Helen sighed as she stared up at full moon. She stood underneath the tall pine tree in Toshimaru's garden, a hand on its woody trunk, her mind wandering...

Why did she suddenly feel as though her insides had been turned to ice? What was this strange feeling that welled up inside her? She knew where the feeling came from, of course...

She sighed as she slowly rubbed her hand against the trunk of the tree, thinking about the decision she had made earlier. She had said 'yes' to Toshimaru, and she did have her reasons for accepting his proposal.

She knew what she was doing was the right thing to do—or so her head said. But...why did it feel like the wrong thing to do? There was a part of her that wanted to talk to Toshimaru right now—talk to him and tell him she changed her mind about marrying him, but she knew that was ridiculous. Aside from that, she didn't think she could hurt and dishonour him by changing her mind.

Funny how she didn't want to hurt Toshimaru but she had hurt Sesshoumaru...

But was Sesshoumaru even hurt? Back then, his eyes had appeared so guarded, so cold, so indifferent, so impassive, as though he could've cared less. She sighed again. She wanted to see Sesshoumaru. The need to see him was so strong she was sorely tempted to take to the air and fly off despite the fact that she hadn't mastered flying yet and would probably end up crashing into the ground.

"Deep in thought, I see," a feminine voice commented.

Helen nearly jumped as Lady Takeida rounded one of the trees and stood next to her. She hated it when demons hid their scent and aura. She had yet to master that herself.

"Lady Takeida," Helen said, "good evening." What a stupid thing to say. Lady Takeida was probably upset with her for choosing Toshimaru instead of her son.

To her surprise, Lady Takeida smiled at her, but there was still that pinched look on her face. "Out here on your own?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "Engaged ladies usually stay indoors you know, otherwise"—she smiled mysteriously—"people might think they're waiting for a secret lover."

Helen tried to suppress the blush that crept across her cheeks, but failed dramatically. "I just needed some fresh air," she muttered, her eyes lowered to the ground.

"Indeed."

They were silent for a moment, their eyes fixed on the full moon. Lady Takeida suddenly sighed. "Truth be told, Helen, I wanted to talk to you."

Helen felt her knees turn to lead. "About what, Takeida-sama?" she asked, as if she didn't know.

Lady Takeida looked up at the moon. "About your choice." She did not look at Helen when she spoke.

"My...choice?" she asked, feeling her throat go dry.

"Yes, your choice." Lady Takeida turned her gaze to her, her eyes piercing. "Helen...I may sound very forward for asking, but...why did you choose Toshimaru? You and I both know that he is not the one you want."

"I chose him, didn't I?" She wanted to sound angry, but her voice shook. Lady Takeida was right on the mark.

The demoness smiled at her. "Ah," she said softly. "You may have chosen him, Helen, but you can fool neither me nor Lady Shinsuke."

"My...mother?"

Lady Takeida nodded. "We can see it clearly in your eyes, Helen," she murmured, looking into Helen's eyes as though to prove her point. "Already you regret your decision. Now that she has seen your suffering, even your mother regrets her decision to aid Toshimaru in asking you for your hand."

Helen was silent. She felt like confiding to Lady Takeida, but...

"I do not regret my decision," she whispered, her voice choked, tears threatening at the corner of her eyes. She lowered her eyes to the ground to hide the tears. "I chose Toshimaru, not because he is the one I want, but because...he is...the right one for me..."

"The right one?" she said. "So, you chose him not because you want him, but because he is the right one?"

Helen nodded. "And...Sesshoumaru is the wrong one?" Lady Takeida ploughed on, not bothering to be a little more considerate.

Helen's eyes widened as she looked up at Lady Takeida. "Y...yes..." she stammered.

"And why do you think that?"

Helen sighed. "I just...know that he's wrong for me...that's all."

To her surprise, Lady Takeida chuckled. "Helen, you are talking to the woman who raised Sesshoumaru," she pointed out. "I know why you think he's wrong for you. He is stubborn and extremely stuck-up and arrogant...in fact, sometimes I wonder where he gets if from, but once he sets his mind on something...or in our case, someone, there's no hampering him. He always gets what he wants."

Helen sighed. Was Lady Takeida trying to make her jilt Toshimaru? Helen wanted to, but knew that it would be wrong of her.

"I do not regret my decision," Helen suddenly said again, her voice firm.

Lady Takeida raised her eyebrows. "Oh? Well, Helen, you are rushing into things, it seems," she said, smiling. "Marriage is not a spur-of-the-moment thing. You must take your time in deciding and choosing. After all, don't you have a life in your Era? And...what was that? School, I believe."

Helen looked at her, her eyes wide. She hadn't really considered that part yet...

But it was too late to turn back.

"I've made my choice," Helen whispered. She suppressed the ache to see Sesshoumaru. She had to forget him now, despite the fact that it was against her very being to do so.

She faced Lady Takeida. "I've made my choice and there's no turning back."

XoXoXo

Morning found Inuyasha and the others continuing their search for Naraku. Everyone didn't seem cheerful despite the sunny morning. In fact, they were all on edge. Naraku had yet to make a move, which made them think that the hanyou was hiding somewhere—as always—bidding his time and plotting a million new ways to make their lives hell.

"Naraku's been missing in action for quite a while now..." Miroku muttered as he walked beside Sango, his eyebrows drawn together in the center.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Kagome asked. From the corner of her eye, she saw Inuyasha staring at the forest beside them, his pace slowing down.

"Both, I think," Miroku said, his eyes fixed on Sango, who kept an arm around Kohaku. "It's a good thing because it means we can try to come up with a plan that'll thwart any scheme Naraku might throw at us...it's also a bad thing because Naraku can up with more foolproof plans while he's hiding..."

"Do you think Kikyou or Sesshoumaru's having any luck with Naraku?" Kagome asked. From the corner of her eye, she could still see Inuyasha staring intently at the forest.

Inuyasha suddenly turned his gaze to her. "Sesshoumaru?" he sneered. "He's barely having any luck with Helen let alone Naraku."

"Speaking of which," Kagome muttered. "I wonder where Helen is now. After all, that cherry blossom viewing party couldn't have taken all night, could it?" She looked at Inuyasha, but he was gazing at the forest again. In fact, he was staring so intently at the forest with narrowed eyes that, if he wasn't careful, he might have tripped. "Inuyasha is anything wrong?" she finally asked, stopping in her tracks. "You've been staring at that forest for ages."

Miroku and the others stopped to stare at the hanyou, whose gaze was still fixed on the trees. "Anything the matter, Inuyasha?" Sango questioned.

Inuyasha took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar metallic scent in the air. "Blood," he said slowly. Everyone's eyes widened. "Demon blood...but that's not all..." He took another deep breath. Dammit, I smell Sesshoumaru...what is that creep doing now?

"You guys wait here!" he said as he darted into the forest. "I'll be right back!"

"As if we'd ever wait!" Kagome huffed.

"Get on, Kagome." Sango was suddenly beside her, riding on Kirara with Kohaku behind her. "What do you think Inuyasha picked up?" Sango asked as they began running after Inuyasha, Miroku running beside them. The trees appeared blurred as they ran and the wind whipped past them.

"I don't know," Kagome said. "But I hope it isn't anything too serious!"

XoXoXo

"Out of the way."

Sesshoumaru's claws slashed at the oni that immediately fell at his feet, blood gushing from the wound he had inflicted on it.

"Who do you think you are, bastard?" several other oni snarled as they surrounded the impassive lord. "We'll slaughter you for felling our brother!"

Sesshoumaru merely raised an eyebrow as the demons slowly surrounded him, their fangs bared and their claws outstretched. Without another word, a whip of green light extended from the tips of his fingers as the demons lunged towards him. Sesshoumaru spun on one foot, his whip wheeling around him. Blood and pieces of flesh flew around him as the demons made contact with his whip. The scent of blood and the sound of flesh tearing filled his senses and a smirk threatened at the corners of his mouth. Fools.

Sesshoumaru stopped turning and surveyed the blood around him. There was nothing like slaughtering fools such as these to rid himself of the torment that seemed to rage within him. He inwardly growled as he kicked a lump of flesh aside. She was all he could think about; she invaded every thought he had.

Last night, he had not bothered to return to the West; instead, he had gone off on a killing spree, hoping to distract himself from thinking about her…

Damn her. What had she done to him? Since he had met her, he had found himself slowly changing…growing soft, one might have said. Growing weak…

"Sesshoumaru!"

Sesshoumaru glanced behind him just as Inuyasha burst through the bushes and the trees.

Inuyasha glared at his elder brother, his eyes narrowed as the scent of blood filled his nose. "Bastard, what're you doing, slaying all these demons? Are you planning to have another demon sword made, hm?"

"None of your business." Here was a good idea—why didn't he just attack Inuyasha? His idiot half-brother provided the perfect form of distraction for one who needed it. He was about to rush at Inuyasha, but then his companions burst through the trees.

"Sesshoumaru!" Kagome gasped. Her eyes took in the blood and the corpses that lay scattered around him. What on earth had he been doing?

"He's the one slaughtering all the demons?" Miroku asked.

"Looks like it," Sango said.

Sesshoumaru's gaze was fixed on Kagome. The miko…

In the blink of an eye, Sesshoumaru was suddenly in front of Kagome, his cold, golden eyes looking down at her.

"Kyah!" Kagome gasped, staggering backwards, hands held protectively in front of her. Miroku and Sango stepped backwards, their weapons held tightly in their grasp.

"Get away from Kagome, bastard!" Inuyasha roared, pulling out his Tessaiga and rushing at his brother. Sesshoumaru glanced over his shoulder at Inuyasha. He spun around and parried Inuyasha's Tessaiga with his Ryuko. Their swords clashed in midair, each trying to push the other back.

"I have no business with you, half-breed," Sesshoumaru hissed, glaring.

"And neither do you have any business with Kagome!" Inuyasha snapped, trying to push his brother's sword back but to no avail.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't I, little brother?"

"Inuyasha, sit."

"What the he—!" Before Inuyasha could finish his words, the enchanted beads around his neck glowed and pulled him to the ground, sending a spray of dust into the air.

Miroku and Sango both looked at Kagome with openmouthed surprise.

"What do you want, Sesshoumaru?" Kagome asked. She knew before he even opened his mouth. Of course, it would be about Helen, as always.

Sesshoumaru rounded on her, the look in his eyes unfathomable. "Did you know, miko?" he asked softly, his silken voice deadly.

Kagome blinked as he took a step towards her. Okay…he looked scary…

"Know what?" Kagome said, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. Really, Sesshoumaru looked as though he wanted to kill…in which case, he probably did.

"KAGOME, WHAT THE HELLWAS THAT FOR?!" Inuyasha roared, standing up and glaring.

"Helen," Sesshoumaru said, ignoring Inuyasha.

"What about her?" Kagome asked, automatically worried.

The look in Sesshoumaru's eyes was frightening. "She has accepted Toshimaru's proposal…his marriage proposal…"

"WHAT?!"

Everyone stared at Sesshoumaru, their mouths hanging open.

"Helen…didn't…surely?" Kagome stammered, recovering herself.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes menacingly at her. "But…that's impossible," Kagome muttered, blinking. "Helen likes…you."

Sesshoumaru growled at her as an arrogant thought filled his head. He was the one that Helen loved, not liked. Wait…what was he thinking?

"Maybe that was why Toshimaru was so persistent about asking Helen to come yesterday," Sango spoke up, snapping out of the shock. Beside her Inuyasha and Miroku were still staring at Sesshoumaru. Was it pity in their eyes or was it something else entirely?

"Judging from the look in your eyes, you want me to do something, don't you?" Kagome asked, raising an eyebrow at Sesshoumaru.

"…"

"Don't you?"

"…"

"Well?"

"…No."

Kagome's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "No?" she asked, taken aback.

"No." Sesshoumaru turned around and began walking away.

"Wait, Sesshoumaru!" Kagome shouted. He stopped in his tracks and glanced at her from over his shoulder. "Why? Why don't you want me to talk to Helen? Are you giving up on her so easily?"

"Perhaps," Sesshoumaru said as he left.

Kagome watched him go, honestly feeling sorry for both him and Helen. If Sesshoumaru had overcome that blasted pride of his sooner…

"Have you all known anyone colder than him?" Sango suddenly asked as soon as Sesshoumaru was out of earshot.

They were all silent.

XoXoXo

Lady Shinsuke stood at the veranda and sighed as she stared at Helen who was sitting on the stone bench underneath the cherry tree, her eyes fixed intently on the lake in front of her. It had been five days since they had come back from the North, announcing Helen's engagement to Toshimaru. Naturally, there had been general rejoicing in the castle, but there were rumors that flew—rumors such as why Helen was marrying the Northern Lord and not the Western Lord; rumors about whether or not Sesshoumaru was planning to attack his cousin's lands in retaliation.

Lady Shinsuke did not have time for rumors, for she had noticed that there was something wrong with Helen. During the past few days, Helen seemed so distant, so reticent…

Lady Shinsuke knew why, of course. Helen—though saying she had made the right choice—was clearly regretting her rash decision. The Lady of the Eastern Lands was certain that her daughter had a reason—and it had better be a good one—for accepting Toshimaru and turning away from Sesshoumaru. She sighed, regretting the fact that she had helped Toshimaru. Helen looked so miserable, sitting on the stone bench, her eyes no longer silver, but gray—a dull, dreary gray.

"Helen?" Lady Shinsuke quietly made her way to her.

Helen looked up, surprised. "Oh," she said simply.

Lady Shinsuke smiled at her then gestured to the stone bench. "May I sit?" she asked.

Helen nodded, somewhat reluctantly. She watched warily as her mother sat down next to her. "You've been quiet lately," Lady Shinsuke pointed out.

Okay, that was direct to the point. Helen shrugged, her eyes fixed on the lake in front of her. "You should be a little more jolly, you know," Lady Shinsuke said, smiling. "Otherwise, people are going to think you're dreading the next three weeks!"

At the mention of the words 'three weeks', Helen felt as if an ice cube had dropped into her stomach. Three weeks from now was her wedding day…Toshimaru wanted to marry her as soon as possible.

Helen was silent, staring intently at the lake. She turned to her mother. "I—"

"You still love Sesshoumaru, I know," she said, sighing. "I also know that you are reluctant to marry Toshimaru, aren't you?" She gave Helen a knowing look.

Really, what was with people and trying to make her jilt Toshimaru? "N-no," Helen stammered. "I…I…really do wanna marry…Toshimaru…"

"I may not have raised you," Lady Shinsuke warned. "But you're a very easy person to read, Helen."

"But I really do want to…" Helen stopped, her eyes settling on her mother. Her silence was all Lady Shinsuke needed.

"You can always back out…though it is quite unheard of," she said, sighing.

Helen shook her head. "Toshimaru…he may not be the one I love, but he's the one I need. Sesshoumaru…I don't know…He's just…I can't…He always hurts…" Helen did not bother to finish her sentence.

Lady Shinsuke nodded knowingly. "Helen, you have to make a choice that will make you happy," she said slowly, choosing her words carefully.

"Lady Takeida already gave me the 'marriage-is-not-a-spur-of-the-moment-decision' lecture," she said flatly.

"Oh, then I should thank Takeida," she muttered, more to herself than to Helen. Helen sweat dropped.

"Helen, let me ask you one more time," Lady Shinsuke went on. "Are you sure about your choice? It isn't too late to turn back, you know."

Helen was silent.

"I'm sure."

XoXoXo

"Kagome, just leave her alone, for crying out loud!" Inuyasha complained as they hid behind the bushes. In front of them, the gates of the Eastern Palace loomed ahead. "First you make Miroku and Sango wait at Kaede's; when I ask you why you make them wait, you say you had something you had to say to me, something important, and then you drag me here! Yeesh! Helen's made her choice, let her be."

Kagome was silent as she stared at the gates through a gap in the bushes, grasping a fistful of leaves out of sheer nervousness. "Please be quiet," she said to Inuyasha as she thought of what she would say to Helen.

"I don't understand why you're helping Sesshoumaru, though," Inuyasha muttered. "He didn't even ask you to talk to Helen! So why are we here?"

Kagome shook her head. "Listen," she said, turning her gaze to Inuyasha. "I know Helen, okay? I'm sure she wasn't thinking straight when she made this choice. She was heartbroken, Inuyasha. People tend to make stupid decisions when they're pretty down. Besides, she's not even ready to get married yet! I mean…she has a life in our Era, for crying out loud!"

Inuyasha was silent, staring up at the castle.

"You there!"

Kagome and Inuyasha spun around. Several guards stood behind them, swords pointed at them.

"Dammit!" Inuyasha said, placing a hand on the hilt of Tessaiga. "I told you we shouldn't have come here!"

Kagome held up her hands. "Er…we…come in peace?" she said sheepishly.

The guards glanced at each other. "Kill them!" the captain ordered.

"W…wait!" Kagome said just as Inuyasha drew out his Tessaiga. "We came here to see Helen!"

"Insolent human!" the guards snapped. "How dare you refer to our lady so familiarly!"

"Stand aside, Kagome, I'm going to blow these bastards to bits!" Inuyasha said, shoving Kagome out of the way. "Wind—!"

"Sit!" Kagome screeched, sending Inuyasha plummeting to ground.

The guards looked at one another uneasily. "We came here to see He…Lady Helen," Kagome explained. "I'm Higurashi Kagome and Hele…Lady Helen knows who I am."

"As if our lady would know humans!" one of the guards scoffed, pointing his sword at her.

"If you harm me, Helen will…er…get really angry!" Kagome threatened.

"And why will Helen get really angry?" a familiar voice asked.

Kagome spun around, a smile spreading on her face. "Helen!" she said, relieved.

"Kaggy!" Helen ran to her and gave her a hug.

"Ow! Helen!" Kagome gasped. "Can't…breathe!"

"Oops," Helen said, releasing Kagome. She turned her attention to the guards. "This girl is a friend," she said. She felt like an idiot while she said it. Really, by now she should have been good at giving orders, but that wasn't the case.

The guards bowed and slowly fell back, but Kagome could feel them hiding nearby, waiting to see if they would try anything funny.

XoXoXo

"So what brings you guys here?" Helen asked. They were sitting on the veranda that faced the garden. Inuyasha was sitting on Helen's right while Kagome on her left. The hanyou was stuffing rice balls into his mouth as though they would immediately vanish.

"Inuyasha," Kagome said, sighing as Inuyasha took another rice ball.

The hanyou turned to face her, his mouth stuffed with rice balls. "Worsh?" he asked.

Helen giggled and Kagome sighed, turning her attention to Helen. "The truth is," Kagome said, choosing her words carefully. "We've come here to talk to you…" Her voice trailed off.

Helen narrowed her eyes slightly at her. She had a sneaking suspicion of what her cousin wanted to talk to her about. "About what?" Helen asked.

Kagome gave her a meaningful look. "About…please don't get mad, Helen…it's about your engagement to Toshimaru…"

She knew it. "Did he ask you to—?"

Kagome shook her head and thought she saw a look of disappointment on Helen's face.

"So congratulations," Inuyasha spoke up.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome snapped, glaring at him.

"Aren't you gonna congratulate her, Kagome?" Inuyasha asked. "After all, she's getting what she wants, isn't she? She's marrying Toshimaru."

Kagome looked at Helen who was silent, her head bowed. "Thanks," she suddenly said, in a voice that barely sounded alive.

"Helen," Kagome said. "I don't get it…Why would you marry Toshimaru? I mean…I thought…" She didn't bother to finish her sentence.

Helen smiled weakly at her. How many people had already hinted that she should jilt Toshimaru? "Lady Takeida and my mother already beat you to the 'marriage-isn't-a-spur-of-the-moment-decision' talk," Helen pointed out.

Kagome sighed. "Still," she said. "Why are you rushing into something I know you don't want to do? Why do you want to torment yourself? I mean, I'm not saying that you should jilt Toshimaru, no…It's just that I was wondering…why? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I have my reasons," Helen said quietly, her voice low.

"Helen…I'm sorry to say this, but—"

"But after you marry Toshimaru, you're gonna be the most miserable person on the face of the world," Inuyasha said.

"Sit!"

Inuyasha cursed as he crashed face first into the tray of rice balls. He sat up again, glaring at them both, daring them to laugh at the rice that covered his eyes, his nose and the vast majority of his face.

"You're wrong, Inuyasha," Helen said as Inuyasha began wiping the rice with his sleeves.

"Wrong?" Inuyasha sneered. "Wanna bet?"

Helen smiled weakly at him. "I know that I'll be unhappy for a while," she admitted. "But…sooner or later…I'll learn to love Toshimaru…"

"So you're saying you're willing to make both you and Sesshoumaru miserable until you learn to love Toshimaru?" Inuyasha asked, raising his eyebrows. "And then when you learn to love Toshimaru and you guys start a nice happy family, Sesshoumaru'll be the one left that's miserable?"

Kagome stared at him. Was he concerned about his elder brother? But she didn't have time to ponder, because she noticed that Helen's eyes were starting to water.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome snapped.

"What?!"

Kagome shook her head angrily then placed an arm around Helen's shoulder. "Can you please take a stroll in the garden?" she requested. "I need to talk to Helen. Alone."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, hopped off the veranda and made his way to towards the garden.

"I'm sorry about Inuyasha," Kagome apologized. "He's just tactless, as always." Helen was still silent. Kagome let out a sigh. "Helen…be honest with me," the miko said. "Do you, or do you not want to marry Toshimaru?"

Helen bit her lower lip; it was a moment before she answered. "No," she admitted, letting out a breath. "I…don't. I don't want to marry him…"

"Then why…?"

"I already told you guys, didn't I?" Helen said. "Well, let me tell you in detail then…When Toshimaru proposed to me…Sesshoumaru was there"—Kagome was about to open her mouth in surprise, but Helen raised a hand—"the moment I saw him…I thought no…I wouldn't marry Toshimaru because I love Sesshoumaru…but then…what was the use of my love if he didn't feel the same way? What was the use of me hoping and hoping when all he does is push me away? So I decided—I would marry Toshimaru. In time, I would learn to love him…in time, I would heal. I know there's a chance that if I loved Toshimaru, that love wouldn't exceed my love for Sesshoumaru but…still…" She shook her head and closed her eyes. Kagome had a sneaking suspicion it was so that she could hide her tears.

"You need to talk to him, Helen," Kagome said.

Helen looked at her. "I…can't…do that…" she said.

"Just talk to him," Kagome insisted. "Helen. Even if you marry Toshimaru and found a way to love him, you'd still be miserable…We both know that. Just talk to him and let the chips fall where they may."

Helen shook her head. "Even if I did talk to him," she said. "He…Kagome, I bet he hates me right now."

Kagome remembered all the demons that Sesshoumaru had been slaughtering out of sheer frustration.

"Helen, I don't think he could ever hate you," she said, sighing. "Just talk to him, okay? Settle things. If you guys don't…then…" She shook her head.

"Are you done yet?" Inuyasha was back and he looked annoyed.

Kagome sighed. "We've got to go," she said as she hopped off the veranda. "We left Miroku and Sango at Kaede's village. I'll come back as soon as I can. I promise."

Helen watched them leave. She wanted to accompany them to the gate, but she didn't feel up to it. It was though her heart was being twisted slowly and painfully in her chest. The pain grew and she placed a hand over her heart.

"Is something the matter, my lady?" Helen nearly jumped out of her skin. A maid was kneeling behind her, a worried look on her face. "Forgive me my lady, I did not mean to startle you."

"It's okay," Helen said. Boy, isn't this funny—a demoness who can't hear the sound of anyone approaching. I must be going deaf.

"Um, listen," Helen said. "Could you please get me my violin?"

XoXoXo

Was that how she actually felt? Was that the reason why she had agreed to marry Toshimaru—because of him?

Sesshoumaru was incredulous.

Eavesdropping on people's conversations wasn't exactly something that he was fond of doing but, in times like these, it was necessary. He had been hiding in the room just along the veranda where Helen and Kagome had been talking. It had been more than easy to sneak in to the castle undetected (besides, if he was detected, it wasn't as though Lady Shinsuke would have him punished). It had even been easier to hide his scent and aura from his half-brother and from Helen herself.

Helen…

Did she really agree to marry Toshimaru all because of him? Him? The fact that he might have brought this on himself made him feel like an idiot. And it wasn't every day that he, of all people, felt like a fool. He suppressed the sigh that threatened to escape him. He was sorely tempted to bang his head against the wall, but thought better of it.

Of course Helen would decide that enough was enough; of course she would decide to accept a proposal from someone who could heal her ruined heart…

Damn it all.

Why had it taken him this long to realize that everything he had done to her would eventually be too much? Why had it taken this long for him to set aside his pride and his insatiable lust for power? Where did he inherit his stubbornness from? Of course, his mother…who else?

Suddenly, a familiar melody reached him. It was a melody he had not heard in a long, long time. A melody that had first drawn him to Helen in the first place…

Helen was playing that violin of hers.

He closed his eyes, leaning his head against the wall, listening to her playing. This melody was not like the usual tone she played—this one was different. It seemed, at first, slow and demure, but then, as she continued playing, the music seemed to swell…Funny. The music seemed to mimic his feelings for her. Just like the melody, his feelings had started out as…small, minute and miniscule but, like the music, over time his feelings had grown…had swelled into what it was now…

He quietly opened his eyes and, taking a deep breath—which was strange—he opened the door to the veranda and stepped out.

XoXoXo

Helen needed to think.

And when she needed to think, she usually took refuge somewhere quiet. But what was the use of the quiet when she still felt so trapped? So she played. Playing her violin was one way for her to express her emotions without words and the music also comforted her.

She sighed as she played. The piece that she played was…something new, actually. Something she herself had composed during winter when she had had nothing better to do than sit and watch the snow fall…

She sighed as she let her thoughts wander, losing herself in her music. The days that had gone by after her engagement to Toshimaru were both amusing and depressing, in her opinion. Amusing because several people had already hinted that she jilt Toshimaru; depressing because she herself felt trapped about her decision…

Was she, as she so reasoned with Kagome earlier, making the right choice? After marrying Toshimaru would she, as she believed, actually heal? Or…would she be even worse than she was now…?

The door behind her suddenly slid open and a familiar scent permeated the air…

Helen's eyes widened and her heart raced. She spun around on the veranda, her wide eyes frantic.

"Sesshoumaru," she whispered.

Sesshoumaru stared at her, his eyes impassive.

What was he…doing here…? Here, of all places?

Helen felt a barrage of emotions. She stopped her playing and looked into his eyes. The last time she had seen him was at Toshimaru's gathering…

"What are you…doing here?" she asked. Wait…had he been hiding in that room the whole time? Had he been there long enough for him to hear her conversation with Kagome?

Sesshoumaru stared stoically at her. "Congratulations," he said, raising an eyebrow.

Helen stared at him, her eyes perplexed. "Wh-what?" Why was he congratulating her? Did that mean that he had…given up on her? The thought sent a stab of pain through her.

"You heard me."

For a moment, they stared at her each other. Helen bit her lower lip, wondering…

Sesshoumaru stared at her. He could see the sadness written clearly in her eyes. He had come here to congratulate her, it was true—though, it was somewhat out of character for him to do so. He had come here to let her go. After all, she had made her choice, he had made his.

"Th…thank you…then." Each word she said sent a spasm of pain through her. Why did he even come here?

He continued to stare at her and realized, with a shock, that he was going to lose her—that she wouldn't be coming back to him anymore, like she usually did…

"Helen," he suddenly said, taking a step towards her.

She looked wearily up at him, her silver eyes guarded. She still loved him…too much. "What?" she asked in a defeated tone.

"Are you happy with Toshimaru?"

The question caught her off guard. How many people had hinted that she jilt Toshimaru today? But that was beside the point…

"What?" Helen asked, hoping to avoid answering his question.

He took another step towards her. "Are you happy with your choice?" He had hurt her too much, and only now—after eavesdropping on Kagome and Helen—did he realize it. If she was happy, then…he wouldn't interfere anymore. He would…let her be.

Helen wanted to say no. She wasn't happy, but she couldn't. To say no would only mean more pain for her, more hoping for nothing. But she couldn't lie to him—he would see right through her.

She sighed, positioned her violin and began to play. Sesshoumaru stared at her. It was the same tune she had played earlier—the melody that seemed to match his emotions quite well and he realized, as he listened, that the music must also mimic Helen's feelings…

She stopped playing and looked up at him. There was sadness and regret in her eyes. "That would have been…our song," she said softly, her eyes on the boards at her feet.

He stared at her. Their song…?

"Would have?" he asked. Why couldn't it be…?

"Yes," Helen said, looking up at him with determination in her eyes and in her voice. "I am happy with my choice…with Toshimaru…" She looked at him with a small smile on her lips hoping that her mask was enough to convince him.

Sesshoumaru nodded slowly. She was happy…that was all that mattered now…

"That's all I needed to know."

Repressing a pang of defeat, Sesshoumaru turned and left.

XoXoXo

A1969: finally, I'm updating!
Miroku: at last. You've been procrastinating lately.

A1969: oh, don't worry, I'll try to update regularly now…I'm not that busy anymore!
Sango: finally!

A1969: sorry for the late update, though. I was updating my other story! Oh, and I'd like to give my heartfelt gratitude to everyone who reviewed! Thanks for all your emotion-filled reviews of the previous chapter! Oh, and please review this one!