"Where'd Abby go?" Tim asks with genuine concern. He may have long avoided working on deepening their relationship since leaving the team – for fear of more of the same from her – but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about what happens to her. Finding out about he and Ziva's relationship, which he's sure she has now, couldn't have been easy for her. Then again, he'd be surprised if she hadn't already known and just never said anything because she'd been waiting for someone to come to her to 'fess up' their MOAS.
"Said something when she first got here about being on her way to talk to Gibbs about nothing being the same?" Tony lazily answered, his eyes still closed as he relaxed under the warmth of the sun's rays.
Tim frowns. That can't be good. Well, there's not a lot he can do about it if she disturbs Gibbs while he's reading what Tim left for him. Then again, it's presumptuous to think the man is still reading it now, anyway. He'd dropped it off hours ago. Who's to say the man's even read it at all. Right?
Internally shrugging it off for now, he sits up and glances at his friends, each in turn as he speaks now. "Who's up for a movie? Your choice - my treat?"
******NCIS*****
Waiting silently until his heart regains its normal rhythm from being startled, Gibbs continues on his way to his coffee maker and fixes himself that much needed refill, his tone quiet as he asks: "Whattaya doin' here, Abby?" Swiping a couple of paper towels off the roll of them that's on the counter while he waits for her answer, he picks his mug back up with the other hand and heads to the table.
Hearing his voice, Abby's head whips up from the letter in front of her. Surprise widens her expression when her eyes dart over to his and despite mascara running down her face and eyes that can barely see, she takes in the somber mood he's in, the serious look on his face and the tone he's just used on her. "Gibbs – what's wrong? Is it this?" She shakes the pages in her hand a little for emphasis. " Did Tim do it to you, too?"
Frowning, he sits down at the table, laying the paper towels where she can reach them as he settles into his chair. "What exactly is it you think Tim's done, Abby? Whattaya mean, 'me too'?" Bracing his forearms on the table, he interlaces his fingers in front of him, leans in and waits for her answer.
"Well, …I mean…I thought I got it, his leaving and him and Ziva dating and everything, but seeing this…" Her voice trembles and even hesitates, as if the letter has rocked her world off its' axis so far that she no longer knows which end is up.
"Think there's a reason it's not addressed to you?" Gibbs dryly asks with that look in his eye that tells her she should have known better than to read what isn't hers. He sits back and lifts his coffee mug up to his mouth for a sip and sets it back down quietly, his eyes never leaving hers.
"I know. And I know I shouldn't have read it…"
Frowning, Gibbs doesn't touch that one just yet. It's probably not a good idea to poke that hornet's nest right now. He picks his coffee mug up again and this time slowly drinks from it, savoring each sip while giving her time to get her thoughts together. After all, she's here for a reason and it can't be the letter she hadn't known about to begin with.
Abby's shaking on the inside and she's not sure why, exactly. Sure, she's upset at the lessons she was handed earlier from Tony, Ziva and indirectly, Tim; but this… well, this is just too much. This is a side to Tim McGee that Abby never imagined existed. She'd never heard him talk to another person the way he ripped into Gibbs with these words. Suddenly, she's feeling vindicated for all the things she'd said to Tony about Tim's lack of respect and loyalty and…
"Don't go there, Abby." Gibbs quiet directive startles her. He's doing that scary 'mind-reading ' thing again and it throws her off kilter. Before she can respond, he's giving her another quiet order. "Stop blaming Tim and start listening to him."
"I don't understand." She whimpers, sounding very much like the scared child she feels like with so much of her world completely different than the way it had been; the way she'd thought it would stay.
"Yeah, ya do. Still one of the smartest people I know, Abbs. Denying what's in front of you doesn't change that. But reading it with some perspective just might." By this time, Gibbs' coffee cup is empty and he pushes it aside.
"You want me to read it again?" She's shocked. It's not what she expected to hear from him. "That doesn't sound like you're pissed at McGee for writing this."
Gibbs huffs out a self-depreciating laugh. "Kinda hard to be pissed at him for doing what I asked him to do, don'tcha think?"
"Wait, you asked him to do this – to accuse you of these things – to talk to you with such disrespect- it's so hurtful and accusatory and…" Abby's staring at him now with abject horror and disbelief.
"Full of truth? Too painful to read? Hard to see how the way we treated him really affected him?" He interrupts her with a tone that's iron-clad serious and a glare to match that she knows better than to argue with – under normal circumstances.
"Gibbs, asking him to write this….it doesn't sound like you." She cries in surprise.
"I know. And all of this…" He jabs his finger angrily in the direction of the pages still in her hands, "should NEVER have happened!"
Abby sits back in her chair, shocked to the core.
******NCIS******
The movie buff within Tony is already flipping through the trailers of the movies that are out at the moment, cheering at Tim's suggestion; that is until the big brother within him grasps the reality that this is most likely the only chance he will have to spend time getting Tim to open up; frankly and without fear of reprisals. Besides, Tim is leaving soon and God knows when they'll get to spend time bonding again after that. It's the voice that's louder and comes from much deeper within and so it's heard above the other. "Under normal circumstances, Tim, I'd love to take you up on that."
"But, you've got other plans." Tim surmises with understanding.
"Actually, no. I don't. Well, I mean, I do, but they involve the two of you and talking, if you know what I mean."
Tim looks at him with serious regard for a long silent minute. He can plainly see that Tony really does want to talk and that there's plenty to talk about – even if it does mean yet more trips down memory road. Mentally, he spares a thought to hope the damned thing gets condemned soon. Frankly, he's tired of being on it. But, until that happens, he's, in all fairness, open to doing what Tony needs him to do. "Okay. My place?"
Surprised, Tony takes a minute to search for what Tim's not saying. Seeing the younger man is definitely serious, he quickly agrees. "Sure."
Nodding, Tim turns to Ziva. "Are you okay with this or would you rather enjoy your evening doing something else?"
"If the two of you want me there, I would like very much to be there."
Tony's startled at the possibility of it being just him and Tim talking without a third party. Long over-due brotherly bonding time? Sounds like a once more in a lifetime opportunity. Before he can speak, Ziva speaks for him, seeing the look on his face.
"You two need to talk so I think I will treat myself to that movie." Turning to Tim, she smiles. "I will see you tomorrow, yes?" She knows there's no telling how long the two guys will be up talking and she doesn't want to show up in the middle of it after the movie is over so she'll sleep at her place tonight. She and Tim can use some time apart anyway. Practice for the real thing.
With a frown, Tim reminds her. "You're working, right?"
"Yes, so perhaps not? That is unless you can meet me for breakfast."
With a warm look in his eye, Tim smiles. "I can definitely do that." Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out his car keys and hands them to her. "Be easy with her."
She takes the keys almost timidly. "You are certain you wish for me to drive your car?"
"Can't exactly leave you without transportation, now, can I?" Tim teases. "Besides, I'm sure you'll be careful." Stepping closer to her, he whispers in her ear. "I can't lose you to some stupid accident." As he steps back he kisses her gently on the lips and slips forty dollars into her hand at the same time. "My treat, remember? Dinner too."
******NCIS******
Before anything else can be said, the sound of Ducky's Morgan permeates the air and Gibbs gets to his feet, once again preparing the older man's drink of choice before heading to the door to let him in. Honestly, he's grateful for the M.E.'s rather perfectly timed arrival. He's clueless as to where he would have taken the conversation with Abby; where he should have taken it.
Abby's still frozen with shock. Gibbs isn't trying to make her feel better about this; hasn't made any effort to hug her or dry her tears, like he used to do. He's not raking Tim over the coals for it either. If she didn't know better, she'd have to say he's actually pissed at himself for the picture Tim paints within these pages. Feeling confused, she struggles to figure out how that is even possible.
Ducky's surprised to find that Abby is here; the sight of her beautiful vehicle sitting in Gibbs' driveway warns him of that fact. As he heads up the porch steps to his friend's front door, he ponders the question of what he should and shouldn't say in front of the poor girl who hasn't been the same since all of these changes have begun coming about.
Before he can think about it any longer, the front door is opening and Gibbs is stepping out to greet him. "Duck. Everything okay?"
"Oh, yes. Jethro. Everything is fine. I was simply checking back with you. However, since Abigail is present, I do not believe there is a need to discuss …"
Gibbs moves while Ducky is speaking, stepping back as he pushes the door back open. "C'mon. need your help with somethin'."
"Oh?" Ducky asks with surprise and uncertainty.
"Tea's on." Gibbs offers as he leads the way back to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, he silently points to Abby and the sad picture she presents; her fingers still trapping the pages of the letter between them while her expression is nearly vacant with distance, despite the still visible tears on her face.
"Oh, dear."
******NCIS******
"I'm surprised at you McGentleman." Tony teases with a slice of seriousness as they head back to Tim's apartment. "Letting your woman go to the movies alone like that." Glancing away from the road as he drives, the older man grins at his friend to soften the sting of his rebuke.
"I'm not, Tony." Tim replies with a straight face. "What'd you think I was doing when I sent that text message?"
"Wait, that's what you were doing on your phone while we were watching Ziva drive away back there?"
Tim smiles. "Yup. Sarah and her date should get there 'bout the same time as Ziva.".
"You sneaky dog, you!" Tony muses with admiration. "Way to go, McGee!"
Chuckling at Tony's embellished praise, Tim leans back against the headrest of the passenger seat and closes his eyes. Sure it's barely two in the afternoon, but for some reason he's dog tired already. Maybe he'll take advantage of Ziva's night out and catch up on some sleep. It's probably a good idea, but he's not banking on it happening with this upcoming talk with Tony on the horizon.
"I'm hungry." Tony unexpectedly announces a few silent minutes later.
Shaking with silent laughter, Tim remains quiet. Tony's always hungry and it's a good sign that everything's pretty damned close to being alright that he is. Still, Tim's feeling the need to shake things up just a tad bit. "Still my treat, Tony." He offers.
"Real-ly?" Tony's enjoyment is contagious and soon the two are outright laughing at each other's play into the conversation. It's been a very long time since they've been able to interact like this and truth be told, it's been sorely missed.
******NCIS******
"You want me to read this? Why on earth would you want me to do such a thing, Jethro? Timothy did not write it to me, nor did he address it to me." Ducky exclaims on the heels of Gibbs request that he do exactly that, mere moments ago.
"Duck. Did you or didn't you say you wished he hadn't let you off so easy because it didn't give you two the chance to get things out? The Team Leader asked pointedly.
Effectively ignoring that they weren't alone for the moment, the M.E. answers his friend with complete honesty. "Well, yes. I had hoped Timothy would allow us to openly discuss that dreadful incident that led him to stop trusting me with his welfare.
"You plannin' on askin' him about it again?"
"Good heavens, no!"
"You read this, you won't have to wonder anymore, Duck. If he's still bothered by it…if you really do need to bring it back up with him."
"Jethro, I'm…"
" I'm asking you to read it for your own good, Doctor Mallard. And Tim's." Gibbs bites out in frustration. He understands Ducky's point but he needs the older man to see it from his perspective as well. His main concern is Tim. It's imperative that nothing be left unfixed before that young man leaves the nest. He deserves that much from all of them.
"Still, I'm loathe to violate the young man's personal space in such a way." Ducky digs his heels in.
Gibbs' loses some of his patience as he tries harder to make his point. "Ducky! It's not a state secret!"
"I don't understand why you were so angry with me for reading it then." Abby pipes in petulantly. "You just got done saying it's n…."
Presented the perfect opportunity to read her the riot act, Ducky lets it rip, willingly interrupting her to do so. "Abigail, I still do not understand why it is you would do such a thing! It most certainly is not addressed to you! What on earth would lead you to violate Gibbs' privacy in such a way?"
"Been wonderin' that myself." Gibbs mutters as he glares at his Lab Rat.
"I can't really explain it, it's like it called to me when I was walking to your basement stairs. It caught my attention and once I saw that it was from Tim, I couldn't help myself." Abby 's whining answer isn't a complete surprise by any means.
"Why am I not surprised?" Gibbs remarks dryly.
"Why did you just tell me to read it again if you're pissed that I read it in the first place, Gibbs?" Abby asks angrily as she finally sits up straight and looks back at him. "You usually make sense and that doesn't make sense at all!"
"Because, Abby – the first time you read it – you weren't thinkin' straight." Gibbs remarks knowingly, his tone colored with enough anger that it's unmistakable even though it's not raging - yet.
"How would you know that?" She asks defensively. Certainly, his mind reading's not gotten that sharp.
"The very fact that you continued to read through it enough to realize it was written by Timothy, suggests you were too caught up in what you were reading to be thinking clearly enough to reason that you should not have been reading it in the first place." Ducky offers before Gibbs can reply.
"I'm not following you." At this point, Abby looks at the M.E., startled that he's the one that answered her question.
"Enough!" Gibbs barks. "Read it again, Abby! Matter of fact, read it out loud!"
"What?"
"Jethro, certainly, not!"
"You heard me." Gibbs gets up and retreats to his basement, suddenly needing the space to breathe more than he needs to hear the pain filled words again.
He knows that Tim never meant for anyone except himself and Tony to see what he'd written, but truth be told, this whole sordid mess affected; is still affecting all of them and for that reason alone, they all need to know what Tim went through – what part of it he poured out into those pages. Picking up the sander once again, he murmurs "Hope you understand, Tim."
*****NCIS*****
"Pretty quiet on the way over here, Probie." Tony remarks as they settle comfortably into Tim's living room; Tony choosing the couch while Tim takes up the arm chair beside it.
"Lots to think about."
"Lemme guess: what's left to pack; where you're gonna stay; how soon you can come back for the weekend with Ziva….need I go on?"
Tim shakes his head. "No, you pretty much covered most of it."
"What'd I leave out?" Tony's curious now and on the most serious of levels, as Tim's friend and surrogate older brother – not the class clown trying to tease him yet again.
Sensing Tony's sincere concern, Tim gets to his feet. "Remember telling me that you'd take any suggestions from past incidents so you won't repeat the less than desirable incidents?"
"Uhm. Sure. I think." Tony answers hesitantly. "Hell, Tim, it's been what, six, seven months?"
"Longer. But the point is; are you still interested?"
"In not repeating anything that played a part in losing your trust, damned right I am."
Tim nods in silent understanding. "Okay. Well, I wasn't going to give you this until I was on my way out of town; didn't want to actually pick it apart with you, but since we've come back to this subject now and we're both ready to dive in and get it out in the open once and for all – I mean that is what you meant by us talking tonight, right?
"Yeah." Tony admits quietly.
"Well, then you might want to read this." Tim walks over to his desk and pulls out a folded letter and hands it to him: a literal carbon copy of the letter he'd dropped off at Gibbs' place earlier that morning.
"Is this…did you do this with carbon paper? What is this – from the dark ages?" Tony pokes fun while trying to calm his inner worry-wort. "If this is the copy, that means there's an original somewhere, right?"
Smothering a grin at the older man's shocked slip that he knows what carbon paper is, Tim answers him with complete seriousness. "Read it and see. I'll be in the kitchen getting some coffee."
Tony settles into the couch more comfortably and begins reading. His breath catches in his throat as he sees who it's addressed to and on down to where his name is mentioned. Wow. Ziva was right. Unable to look away, Tony reads it through – completely and without stopping.
Once he's done reading, he lets his hands fall to his lap, the letter still within his grasp. Closing his eyes for a minute, he opens them back up and re-reads through the pages, from start to finish. When he's finished, he lays his head back against the back of the couch with a sigh. "God almighty, how screwed up is this?"
Suddenly, he's not the righteous Senior Field Agent with the power to treat the newbie however he pleased, but the pissed off older brother ready to kick ass and take names later. The only problem is the person who's ass needs kicking – is his own! To make matter worse, the time for it to do any good – is long gone. Crap! How could he never have seen this much turmoil going on with Tim from how Tony was treating him and Gibbs was letting happen?
Remembering Tim's words about this from the first night they'd talked, Tony sighs.
"…I hate digging, Tony. It's messy, uncomfortable and doesn't erase anything."
So, this is why Tim's mood changed earlier this morning. This was a hell of a kick. Tony can't help but wonder what Gibbs thought of it. He hopes like hell that something good can come out of it between those two. Goodness knows, Tim's long over-due for a show of concern from the older man.
Says the pot calling the kettle black. Tony's logic throws in, twisting the knife even further. Even a blind man can pull from these pages that it's something just as long over-due between himself and Tim. Well, no, Tony has been trying and he intends to keep at it – for as long as he can before Tim leaves. And even after Tim's gone, he'll stay on it – staying in touch with Tim and making sure he keeps an eye on Ziva for him, too.
None of what's in these pages really comes a surprise. Well, the part where Tim asks Gibbs if he even knew about Tony's awful prank with telling the women in accounting that the probie was gay – that certainly shocked him. But' it's not as if he can argue with the truths that Tim's laid out here and frankly, he wants Tim to know that. It'll be nice to finally have everything aired out between them.
Yet, with all of what Tim's laid out in these pages, there's one glaring omission. Suddenly, Tony's gut twists. Here the young man had been given the opportunity to lay every single thing that had ever been done to him by someone on the team – out for the Team Leader to see - for him not to lay what happened in Mexico out – to rip into it….yeah, something's wrong with that.
Terribly wrong. Why would Tim remain mum about something as huge as whatever happened between him and Abby in Mexico? Hell, for that matter, why hasn't he ever said a single word about that trip? The bigger question, of course, is why Tony had never asked him before. There's no plausible explanation for that huge screw-up. But this thing just won't let go and Tony's determined to make it his mission to find out why.
Because if it's for the reason he thinks it is and Tim's buried it deeper than everything else because it just hurts too damned much – then as his big brother, Tony's job is to let him know he doesn't have to leave it there to fester. He's not alone with it anymore. He's got people who love him and care enough about him to help him shed it – ALL of it.
Of course, the hard part's going to be convincing Tim to let him in.
*****NCIS*****
Sitting together on Gibbs' couch, Ducky coaxes Abby to think on everything she's just confided in him about and the contents of the letter – what pertinent parts that pertain to her, that is – which Ducky is now reading to her aloud. Rather than allow her to traipse back through the personal aspects that weren't meant for anyone's eyes, save Jethro's, the M. E is spoon feeding her only what pertains to her; what she needs to hear as he skims the pages for his own name at the same time – finding it in just one place.
Having read that, Ducky can only agree with his friend. It is certainly better knowing where the issue lies without having to push Timothy for the discussion he obviously does not desire. Perhaps now, he can approach the young man in regard to rebuilding, or strengthening their relationship before he departs in some way that does not include a long drawn out discussion. Somehow, he'll find a way to incorporate some reinforcement that will help re-establish a link forged with that crucial trust between Timothy and himself. The idea of Timothy leaving for his new post without them having that is just too sorrowful to imagine. The thought of it breaks Ducky's heart.
****NCIS****
Surprisingly enough, Tony realizes as he looks over at the now sleeping young man, getting Tim to let him in hadn't been nearly as hard as he'd had expected it to be. Once the Tony had sought the younger man out, joining him in the kitchen over a nice big mug of hot chocolate, all he'd had to do was what he did best – talk.
****Flashback****
"You were right, Tim. Every bit of it. And I'm sorry."
"I know, Tony. Just like I know, you'll take from it what you need to so that none of it happens to someone else." Tim offers quietly as he hands Tony a cup of hot chocolate.
"I'm glad we're still okay." Tony admits with quiet seriousness that leaves no doubt this is no joke to him.
"Me, too." Tim smiles softly. "What about you? Anything else you need to air?"
"Well, actually, there is."
"I'm listening."
"I read through this twice." Tony says as he hands the letter back to Tim. "And there's one thing I don't understand."
"And that is…?" Tim leads, letting him know he's free to say whatever it is that's on his mind.
"There's not a single word in there about Mexico."
Quietly from Tim, "No, there's not." The younger man takes a long slow drink of his hot chocolate, not attempting to elaborate on the subject.
Watching him closely, Tony can see the haunted look in his eyes and he doesn't like it. It's proving to him that his haunch was right – and that's it's way past time for big brother to step up to the plate and make things right – even if it gonna hurt little brother at first.
"Talk to me, Tim. Why haven't you ever said a word about Mexico?"
***End Flashback****
One scrutinizing look from Tim, obviously looking for the soul-deep sincerity in Tony's words and the stopper had just fallen out of the jar – with every single thing Tim's ever wanted to say on the subject, pouring out like water from the biggest river. It'd been obvious that the poor guy had just been waiting for someone to care enough to seriously ask. It broke Tony's heart to realize just how long it had taken for that to happen.
Watching as Tim took a deep breath and slowly let it out, pushing a hand through his hair as he sat down at the bar and looked over at him. It only took a minute before the words were coming out, his tone so quiet, Tony'd had to strain to hear him at first.
It had taken an hour or so; strewn with emotional stopping points here and there as Tim relived the heart-wrenching fear that came with believing that his life was over or worse that all of those people, Abby included, were about to become hostages for the Reynosa Cartel to use for their own sick purposes or shot to death in front of him while he stood by helplessly and did nothing.
Explaining to Tony how visions of the women being raped and the men being brutally tortured had sickened him almost to the point of hurling, right there in front of that ruthless band of law-breaking Mexican bandits – had sent tremors through the young man's frame to the point, Tony had reached out and grounded him with a supportive hand on his shoulder and a quiet voice next to him, urging him to calm down and take it slow.
The worst- after the cartel had let them go - Tim had finally admitted, had been the soul–deep conviction that Gibbs would only blame him for getting Abby into this mess – and never forgive him if she hadn't made it out alive. By the time Tim had admitted that, it'd been clear he was wrung out and badly in need of some space. It had taken some coaxing but Tony had finally gotten Tim to relax on the couch – where, only moments later, Tim had fallen asleep sitting up, prompting Tony to propel him sideways and settle him more comfortably.
Watching the sleeping young man now, Tony frowns. He hates that he was right – that it had long been festering. But, he hates even more, how much pain and angst Tim kept locked away – while carrying on like everything was okay. Hell, the things Tony'd put him through after that… damn! Above everything else about this, though – it's the haunted look in Tim's eyes while letting all of it out that isn't something Tony will be forgetting anytime soon
Getting up, he heads to Tim's room and pulls the extra blanket off the bed and carries it back to the living room, covering Tim with it so he won't get cold through the night. The kid's been through hell and back and all because he worked for a boss who never acted like he gave a damned and a Senior Field Agent who'd made it clear as day that he considered the probie to be a second class citizen who know one ever worried about. Now the kid's career and personal life is being kicked in a direction he'd never wanted and he's having to roll with the punches yet again. Crap, what a mess!
Racking his brain for some way to help ease the pain this next career move is putting his probie and Ziva through, his mind returns to the question he'd jokingly asked Tim earlier in the evening.
"… how soon you can come back for the weekend with Ziva…"
That's it! That's how he can help! Picking up the phone, he puts it in his pocket and scribbles a quick note for Tim. Slipping out, he gets in his car and drives. His destination, he knows by heart so it's a good thing he can function almost on autopilot since his brain is still stuck in the thoughts that won't let him go.
*****NCIS*****
"Duck?" Gibbs' quiet voice is heard from the doorway. "You alright?" It's been a couple of hours since he escaped to his basement, knowing the older man needed time to process what he'd be reading. The Team Leader hadn't expected Abby to still be here and practically wrapped up in Ducky's comforting arms, no less.
Looking over at him, the M.E. sadly shakes his head. "No. With this fresh reminder of my short-comings and the price Timothy paid for them, staring me in the face, I am most definitely not alright."
"Ducky, c'mon! It's Timmy – he's already forgiven you. We all know that." Abby tries to comfort the M.E., despite still being shell-shocked herself. It's the only thing she's said in the last half hour and she goes eerily silent as soon as she's said it.
"That is not the point, Abigail!"
Walking further into the room, Gibbs sits down on the edge of the coffee table closest to his friend. "Duck. Calm down. There's somethin' else botherin' you here. What is it?" Gibbs reins him in, anxious to hear what the older man's not saying.
"It's what's not here that's bothering me, Jethro." Ducky replies sadly. "In fact, it not only bothers me; it concerns me greatly."
"Okay. I'll bite. What's not here that should be?" Gibbs' tone is just as quiet and serious as Ducky's because he knows the older man doesn't worry without good cause and therefore whatever he's about to say bears hearing.
Glancing at Abby briefly, Ducky looks back at the younger man. "Mexico."
From the very same doorway Gibbs has just walked through comes Tony's voice now. "Funny, that's exactly what I told Tim."