Thank you to "Saissa" - Hope this does you proud.

Thank you to all my readers/reviewers

"Okay. I'll bite. What's not here that should be?"
"Mexico."
"Funny, that's exactly what I said to Tim."

"Anthony!" Ducky greets him with both pleasure and concern, although he remains by Abby's side on the couch. "You've spoken to Timothy about this?"

"Yeah, Ducky, I have." Tony answers the older man seriously, his eyes finding the older man's across the room, letting him see for himself, just how serious Tony is about what he's letting them in on.

"Well, what'd he say?" Abby demands as she sits forward eagerly, obviously keen on hearing every detail.

Looking at straight at her, his eyes steel orbs of dark anger, Tony's answer is eerily calm and obviously one there'll be no arguing with. "Not mine to tell."

"DiNozzo." Gibbs quietly tries to intercede, knowing whatever the Senior Field Agent's heard from Tim about this, it's not good but it's the truth and that makes this far worse than he'd even realized at this point. How could he have forgotten the unmentioned mess that was Mexico? Nevertheless, he'll have to deal with that later because right now, Tony's his concern.

"Boss?" Tony looks over at the man as he answers him with the same quiet tone laced with a layer of anger that he's just used on Abby.

"He talk to you about it?"

Tony knows that what Gibbs is really asking here is did Tim really lay it all out there - the entire sordid mess that was Mexico or did Tim just give him a brief summary before shutting it down. Keeping it simple, despite his yearning to rip these two apart on Tim's behalf, Tony sighs heavily before giving the man his answer. "Yeah."

With a short nod, Gibbs accepts that Tony's tone leaves no doubt that he's really pissed. He knows that it's because he's heard the whole story from Tim's perspective and knows where the blame is to be laid. Obviously, the guy's not here to openly discuss what he's been told. So then why is he here? "What's on your mind?"

Glancing apologetically at Ducky, Tony looks back at Gibbs. "Got a minute?"

"Let's go get some coffee." Gibbs offers as he heads to the doorway.

Abby's objection stops him in his tracks. "Wait! Tony! Talk to us, damn it!"

Turning sharply at this rare form of Abby, Tony glares at her from across the room "Excuse me?"

"What, did he hold you to some 'don't tell' confidentiality or something?"

"As a matter of fact, Abby; he didn't."

"Then tell us! What did McGee say? We have the right to know since it affects us too!"

Actually relieved that Gibbs is still standing in the doorway behind him, Tony asks her the question that's been on his mind about her since leaving Tim's place. "You give a damned about Tim at all, Abby?"

"What? Of course I do!" She's outraged that he'd even ask such a thing. Everyone knows she loves McGee. She loves him like she loves puppies and she's always been very public about it.

"Then don't ever ask him about this." Tony orders her almost coldly before he turns on his heel and follows the now retreating Gibbs out of the room.

******NCIS******

Waking from his short nap, Tim discovers he's been covered by his spare blanket from his bed. With a soft smile for Tony's thoughtfulness, he sits up and glances around, wondering if the older man is still here. Spying the note left for him on the coffee table, Tim reaches over to pick it up.

McGoo:
Go back to sleep.
See you tomorrow.
Thanks for letting me in.
T.

Getting to his feet, he sets the note back down on the table and heads for the kitchen. He's not even sure what time it is, but he's hungry and in need of some caffeine. The hours he's just spent with Tony were unexpected and certainly didn't turn out the way he'd thought they would but Tim is actually grateful to the older man. He's missed having him in his life more often - like old times.

Until today, Tim's never realized just how deeply Tony really holds their friendship. Finding out it means just as much to the older man as it does to Tim, has warmed him and given him hope - hope for them to trust each other completely - somewhere in the future. It's sad that it's not that time yet. But hearing Tony earnestly encourage him to let everything out into the open the way he had - certainly puts everything in a new light.

As some of what he felt while talking to Tony, comes back, he begins to feel the need for an outlet. Feeling the need to purge some more, Tim sits down at his typewriter and inserts a sheet of paper into the carriage. When it set in place, he closes his eyes and does something he hasn't done in years. He free-writes.

******NCIS******

Abby gets up from the couch and begins pacing as Gibbs and Tony head out for 'a coffee run'. It's obvious Tony's got a burr under his butt about something. And he's just admitted that Tim told him about what happened in Mexico. The math's grade school simple on this one - but yet it's not adding up right. Why would Tony tell her not to ever talk to Tim about it?

"Abigail, come, sit. Calm yourself." Ducky encourages as his own mind whirls around what Tony's just said to the woman at the core of the issue they'd been discussing.

Still pacing, Abby finally begins speaking. "I just don't understand what's going on with this, Ducky! Why would Tim tell Tony about it but Tony not tell us since he didn't promise not to?"

The M.E. is saddened by the sight in front of him. Having always thought fondly of Abby's child-like view of the world around her that's not wrapped up in her science lab - he finds it now to be less endearing and much more concerning. She has the complete picture of what's going on painted right in front of her and she's refusing to see it. Perhaps she just needs a fresh view on things.

"Let's go enjoy the night air a little, shall we?" Ducky encourages her as he leads the way out Gibbs' porch doors, watching to be sure she's following behind. Together, they traverse the porch steps and begin meandering the well-kept back yard, their attention soon caught by the wildlife as it comes to live around them as Ducky waits for Abby to speak her mind. He can't help her until she does.

******NCIS*******

Tim's fingers freeze on the typewriter keys as his brain screams at him; a reminder of something he'd briefly admitted to himself earlier in the day. Not sure where the thought is coming from, he lets it run free.

He's been avoiding Abby out of fear that she hasn't changed and will still treat him like she used to. What the hell is up with that? Why does anything that Abby says or does matter to him anymore? It's no different than working things out with Tony. That has fallen into place without all of this hiding, right?

I just need to say, "Abby, you really shouldn't do this, but if you insist, if you want to go ahead and get yourself killed- well, then I won't be going with you. The minute you make that choice, you won't be my problem any longer.

"I can't do that." Tim mutters to himself. "I should have back when it would have mattered, but I couldn't. But I can stop deliberately avoiding her, now. And why am I talking to myself?"

Still, questions keep coming; though silently parading through now: What the hell's up with not pushing his voice to be heard better than this for all this time? Where's his own sense of being responsible for his own well-being been hiding all this time? Why has he allowed himself to become such a coward? What the hell ever happened to "No!" or "Not in this lifetime!"?

Damn, Maybe this is why the others never understood how things could have gotten to the point they did? How is it, he can be rational and reasonable about everything else in his life, but when it came to how he allowed himself to keep going back for more when he was being treated so badly by the team, those parts of his brain seemed to function at half-capacity?

This rationale certainly doesn't excuse how the others treated him! Shaking his head at the realization that not only is he talking to himself, but now he's arguing with himself, too; he shuts off his thought process and goes back to free-writing. It takes a little longer this time, but still it's not too terribly long before he's soon once again losing himself in the tranquility that comes from the repetitive tapping of the keys. The other stuff can certainly wait for another day.

******NCIS******

Some twenty minutes have gone by since leaving Gibbs' house and Tony has yet to say a single word. This in itself would normally concern the alert Team Leader, but he knows this time it's because the younger man's got a hell of a lot on his mind. Still, he came to Gibbs to talk. Apparently, he needs some encouragement. "Talk to me."

"You're not gonna ask me?" Tony turns the tables for a minute.

"Nope."

"Because you don't care...or...?"

Gibbs' glare can easily clean paint off furniture as he bores into Tony's brain with it now. "Not gonna pry it outta ya, DiNozzo!"

"I can appreciate that." Tony recovers quickly, even as he swallows hard.

"Damned sure doesn't mean I don't care!" The Team Leader snaps angrily. Damn it, does everyone think he doesn't care about Tim?

"So what he had to say has rattled you." Tony remarks with a quiet seriousness that lets Gibbs know he's far from poking fun about it.

With a sharp glance, Gibbs remains silent.

"Yeah. Me too." The younger man admits quietly. "Guess that's why I'm here."

"Go on." Gibbs encourages him now; ready to be the voice of reason - as much as he can be, for his Senior Field Agent.

"Okay, but first, just to answer the question you're not asking, lemme ask you a question."

Gibbs' silently waits for whatever it is that's on Tony's mind.

"You ever talk about Shannon and Kelly with just anybody?"

Gibbs' gut seizes up as Tony's well-aimed point hits home. They may not be the same situations the loss of his girls and what Tim went through in Mexico - but the ability to share the pain of a deeply personal and traumatic experience with someone - is just as rare. Finding someone you feel connected enough to - to open up and let them in, is damned hard to do. Hell, as completely outstanding as Ducky is as a friend and confidant, Gibbs' hadn't even attempted to let him in. And yet, it's obvious that Tony's been trusted to be that person for Tim.

"You're a good man, DiNozzo." The older man finally quietly offers. He respects Tony's strength of character that's brought him here while preventing him from going all out on Abby or himself.

It's gotta be tough, facing the very people who've put your friend through hell, and not say a word on his behalf. Not divulging the facts as he now knows them - whatever they may be - so they'll 'get it' has to be tough, too. It's obvious that Tony's respecting Tim's privacy and his right not to have something he won't talk about - aired with anyone else, no matter who they might be. Gibbs can't help but respect him greatly for that.

Tony's perplexed. While it's great to hear; completely awesome, actually - he's not too sure what that's got to do with...oh. He gets it. He's relieved that Gibbs gets what he hasn't said - the example he's given doing its job in painting the picture he needed the boss to see. With his tone still quiet, the younger man replies. "Thanks.

"That's not why you're here. So what is?" Gibbs pushes as they begin walking back to the car.

"Yeah, well here's the thing, Boss. We owe Tim - you and me. We owe him big. Ziva, too."

"No argument here." Gibbs opens up his car door and looks across the top of the car over at Tony.

"Really? Good. 'Cause here's what I'm thinkin'..."

******NCIS*****

"Ducky." Abby quietly speaks for the first time since they've come outside.

"Yes, Abigail?"

"What's wrong with me? I never used to be this complicated."

"Oh, my dear, you have always been complicated." Ducky quietly chuckles. "You've just never noticed it before."

"That's not funny. " She replies, although her voice hasn't risen any.

"No, Abigail, it certainly isn't - especially in light of this situation. However, you must learn to relax and allow yourself to adapt more willingly without lashing out at others around you - most especially those who care deeply for you and care about your well-being. It is the only way you will come to terms with all that's changing around you - and still hold onto those who are dear to you."

"You think that's my problem, don't you? That I hate change?"

"I do believe it is a great deal of your problem, yes. The rest of it being, as I've said, how you treat others around you when you are stressed."

"Well, at least I know where to start." She replies. "Again."

******NCIS******

"No."

"Boss, c'mon!" Tony rebuts earnestly. "This is important!"

"Tony, job burnout is a serious problem and I won't let you set yourself up for it. I appreciate what you're offering here, but I can't let you do it."

"But, thi..."

"One or two. Days - not weeks. That's the limit. No more."

"Okay. Good. I'll take it."

A few moments of silence settles between them as Gibbs drives them back to the house. Pulling into the driveway, the Team Leader finally speaks again. "That's a good thing you're doin' DiNozzo."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't feel like much - or like it's even close to good enough, but..." Tony admits ruefully.

"But donating some of your leave to Ziva is as close as you can get to helping them while he's at his new post."

"Something like that. That and keep an eye on her for him."

"Honorable." Gibbs praises as he gets out of the car. "Now, you just have to get Vance to sign off on it - before you take it to HR."

Tony's eyes grow large. "Crap."

*****NCIS*****

Feeling his phone vibrate on his hip, Tim stops typing and pulls the device out to look at. He smiles at the text Ziva's sent him. 'Thank you - it was nice to see Sarah again. You and Tony still talking?'

He dials her number, suddenly keen on hearing her voice. It's only two rings before she picks up. "Hi."

"Hey, Zee. How was the movie?"

"We did not go. We chose to go bowling instead. It was very...challenging."

Tim laughs. "Lemme guess. Sarah won."

"Yes. But I had a lot of fun letting her win."

Tim hooted. "I'd love to have seen that."

"Maybe soon we can go again. You are done talking already, yes?"

"A while ago, actually. He left out and I slept for a while and I've been free-writing

"Good. You needed that. All of that. "

"Yeah, I guess I did.

"Something is wrong, yes? You sound...angry."

"No. just frustrated...I think." Tim answers, deliberately downplaying just how frustrated he is. He doesn't want her to feel his rising tension. It's not her problem and she deserves a night to relax without having to deal with his stuff.

"Re-telling of old hurts is not easy." She sympathizes.

"That's for sure." He gives back.

"Are you certain that you are alright?"

"Yes, Sweetie. I'm fine.

"I will let you get back to whatever it is that you are doing to relax. Goodnight, Tim."

"Night, Ziva. I love you."

"I love you too. Do not forget - breakfast in the morning. "

"I'll be there." Hearing the click on the other end as Ziva hangs up, Tim sighs. He really does need to relax but the weight of his troubled thoughts from earlier hasn't eased, despite his hours of free-writing. If anything, he's more keyed up now with the realization that he's screwed things up for himself almost as badly as the ones who treated him wrong. Suddenly, he needs an outlet - one that's a hell of a lot more physical than tapping away on a typewriter.

Picking up his keys, wallet and phone, he heads out, not even sure where he's going.

******NCIS*****

Turning back to face the car and Tony, Gibbs puts his arms up on the roof, stretching his back to relieve some of the stiffness he's feeling. "Tony."

Hearing not only the quiet tone but also the usual significance in the use of his first name, Tony responds in kind. "Boss?"

"Abby needs to talk to Tim about what she put him through."

"Kinda think that's Tim's call, don't you?"

"Maybe. Why would you tell her not to?"

"Because she still loves him like puppies."

"There a reason that matters?"

"Boss, until she can look at this from his perspective, she'll only hurt him more trying to pry that conversation out of him that he doesn't want to have with her." Tony insists. He knows the bottom line in all this is that Tim not get hurt any more by any of them - for any of this.

"He tell you that?"

"Believe me; he didn't have to." Tony replies, his tone chock full of the sadness he's been feeling at Tim's expense over this.

Gibbs nods. He gets it. Not only that; he's grateful that Tony's safeguarding his little brother from further hurts in this mess. Unfortunately, it sounds like Tim won't be talking to anyone else about what happened and that means as Team Leader, Gibbs will be stuck remaining in the dark on Tim's perspective. And while he only has himself to blame, the old man wishes like hell, he'd handled this right from the beginning- wishes he'd handled all of this a damn sight better..

With nothing further said, they walk into the house together, glancing at each other as the sound of Abby's voice tells them they're walking into a conversation already underway in the living room.

"...still don't understand why Tony said for me not to ever talk to Tim about it, Ducky." Abby's quiet tone resonates through the even quieter space between herself and the pensive M.E.

"Because you don't care enough about him to do it right." Tony answers her from the doorway as he and Gibbs stop there.

*****NCIS*****

Almost on autopilot, Tim finds himself driving to the Navy yard, despite the mileage and the time it takes. His mind has settled already on a destination and it's not long before he's standing in the employee gym. As he stands still, staring down the boxing bag as if the glare he's giving it will do any good, the thought processes that have driven him to need this outlet, return on full throttle and without even realizing it, he begins to take it out on the bag.

His own culpability in the messes he's tried to clean up; his former teammates' behaviors towards him that helped shove things in this new direction; the lack of proper training; the physical dangers, risks and dangers he's faced - all of it pours itself into his punches aimed at the bag. Before long, he's venting the fact that he has to leave Ziva as well as the team he never really wanted to leave in the first place, too. The list seems endless and the punches keep finding their target.

*****NCIS*****

While Tony's answer for Abby sinks in, silence settles in for the duration. Gibbs retreats to the kitchen to rustle up some snacks for them. He's back a short ten minutes later. He's a bit alarmed when he walks into a silence so thick he could cut it with a knife.

It's a few minutes later when the Senior Field Agent has a question for the rest of the group. His eyes lock on his boss as he puts it out there. "Why is it none of us have seen the case report? This was an actual case, right? The body that was shipped back to us for Ducky to examine? There should have been a case file that would have included what happened down there between these two. Right? I mean why would Vance say nothing was ever done about it?"

"Not necessarily, Anthony. " Ducky replies quietly as he looks meaningfully at Gibbs.

Gibbs, on the other hand is looking directly back at Tony. "It got lost in the mess with the Cartel."

"Ah. I get it. One of those messes. One so big, all repercussions get nullified for the sake of state secrecy, right?" Tony remarks almost sarcastically as his anger resounds through the room. "So, Tim's ordeal gets shoved under the rug to satisfy everyone higher up in the food chain - and even in our own agency. Jeez, no damned wonder he's never said anything!"

"Never meant to leave him behind in that mess." Gibbs says regretfully, his eyes still locked on those of his Senior Field Agent, needing him to understand that the Team Leader truly regrets the way Tim got left behind.

"But, it was easy to do since he wouldn't rat on you and you never planned on fessing up." Tony surmises almost too calmly as he turns to stare at Abby.

Abby's head bows and her shoulders begin to shake with the effect of her tears. She can't hold the guilt in any longer and the time of trying to blame Tim to hide her own guilt is long gone. Hearing the truth of what she did from Tony's perspective puts it in a new and horrible light - one that blinds her with rays of guilt and regret.

Unfazed by her tears, Tony has one more thing he wants to get off his chest and doesn't look away from the guilty party in the room as he lets it rip. "You deliberately focused on the issue of who the body was to Gibbs - instead of taking a single minute to come clean about what you did to Tim while you were there - how close you came to getting him killed- getting all of you killed."

"Tony." Gibbs calls him off. The Senior Field Agent's made his point and there's where it needs to stop if they're going to preserve Tim's right to privacy and keep this from spiraling out of control. Before he can say anything else, the ringing of his cell phone disturbs them all.

Picking it up out of his pocket, he answers it in his typical way. "Yeah. Gibbs."

"Agent Gibbs. I think you should come down here."

Don't worry - Tim's not forgetting that he did try to speak up on his own behalf, time and time again. He's just temporarily set that back - he'll be reminded again soon. How that happens - just might surprise us all.