Ok, bear with me for the moment, there will actually be a chapter, but I would like you all to read this first. I have re-read the previous chapters and I really am not that fond of it. I thank you all for the positive reviews so far. During the months that I have not updated (sorry), I hope my writing has got better. I wanted to delete this story and re-write it, but I need to prove to myself that I could improve. The plot line has changed dramatically, as I saw I was just rambling on in no particular direction. I would (again) like to thank Mei Queen for helping me with the earlier chapters, because without her help, you cannot imagine how revolting they would have been. As you may have noticed, it now has a title: Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.
Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy
Chapter 5 – Revelations
Previously:
Lily's voice whispered in his ear, her breath tickling the back off her neck. James burst out laughing as he broke his glare on Malfoy's' eyes to notice his hair. When prompted by Professor McGonagall, the Slytherins stalked out the door unscathed. James was still chuckling as he collapsed onto the sofa in the Gryffindor common room.
He hadn't realised pumpkin juice stained
Sirius was howling with laughter, rolling around on the floor of the common room, overcome with sensations of mirth wracking his body. James tried unsuccessfully to stifle his amusement, as the cuts on his face were still mending (thanks to Fawkes) and extreme emotional facial expressions still shot jabs o pain into his body. Peter was chortling quietly to himself (because James and Sirius were laughing) although he did not fully understand what had happened.
Remus had cracked a smile at Malfoy's inventive new use of pumpkin juice for hair dye and then disappeared to the library, no doubt, with a large, heavy book in his hands. The previous night had unsettled him and, although he knew his friends would eventually find him, he knew that, for the moment, they would be too preoccupied in the misfortunes of their nemesis to remember why he had had pumpkin juice thrown at him and why they had not been there to stop the crime he had committed.
Although Lily was still shaken, she felt that she had got revenge on her captors and, however sweet that revenge tasted, she felt that if she consumed any more, her good nature would get the better of her and she would start to feel guilty. Lily had learned that revenge was better dished out in small quantities every now and then. She would no doubt be serving some up on Malfoy's plate for the rest of his school days. This musing made her feel slightly better as she slipped silently out the common room while James was not Lily-watching as he so often had been recently.
Hardly guessing where her feet were leading her, she meandered down the corridors, finally halting her wandering at the tall doors of the library. She pushed open the right door and held it back after she went through so that it wouldn't slam behind her. This action concealed her from all the studious glares of swatting students when unthinking youths slammed the door, but it did not stop the iron hinges squeaking as she opened it. The new, young librarian, Madame Pince, looked up and smiled at Lily as she entered, then looked back at her papers with one quick, sad glance at a sandy haired boy sitting with his back to her hidden from public view behind the shelves, gazing out of the window. He had one pale hand propping up his cheek while the other held a book open, but his head was not turned towards the table.
"Remus?" Lily whispered. The boy jerked at the call of his name and Lily noticed scratches on his forearms and at the opening of his collar that she had not previously observed at breakfast. She elegantly sank into the chair opposite from him on the small, round table. The corners of his mouth turned up into a weary smile and his eyes drooped slightly again. "Remus," she said again, but this time, it was as though she was going to divulge something important to him, "is there anything you want to talk about?"
He looked at her, trying not to let shock or suspicion bordering on amazement show on his face. How could she know? She had never paid much attention to any of the Marauders, let alone their conversations unless she was rowing with James or studied with himself in their library corner. When they spoke together, he had never mentioned his "furry little problem" and talking with her about the illness of his family had made it easier to lie to everyone else about it. He felt that if Lily believed him, the story was good enough for anyone to hear. She had always listened sympathetically to him and gave him encouraging smiles.
This time, however, as he built up his simple tale of his unfortunate family, he thought he caught a flicker of impatience in her gaze, something he had never seen directed at him before. He had stacks of patience and being around him seemed to have a calming effect on most girls in his presence. He sighed tiredly and broke off in the middle of his sentence. It had been a long time that he had been spinning these tales, and she was unusually bright. He silently thanked her for giving him to tell her himself rather than have the truth forced out of him then and there like when the Marauders had smelled a rat.
Remus began again, this time with a different story. Lily did not say anything, but merely smiled gratefully at him and held her hand out, palm up on the table in an offer of comfort in their friendship. He placed his larger hand into hers and drew his cloak around him with his other hand. The glorious cloudless sky of yesterday had given way to a grey dreary horizon. Filled with unusual summer chills that whipped in outlined of smoky grey clouds stemming the rain threatening to fall.
"I was young. Augamenti." He conjured a half-filled glass of water and took a sip to soothe his fry, hoarse voice, placing the simple crystal in the center of the table so it would not be knocked over and lifting their precious books out of harm's way. Remus continued, "Approaching my year of turning double figures, I had been trusted to take my new book down to the park with me. All the family was round and I had been sociable with them for a couple of days and my mother felt I needed a treat. She packed a cold roast beef and mustard sandwich along with a salad and a rare slice chocolate cake and bottle of milk into a basket for me. She said that Grandpa would go along with me. I got on well with him; I used to laugh with him, he taught me my alphabet, chess and the ways of the world in our frequent times together." Lily tightened her grip on his hand, observing his use of the past tense. His Grandfather had never before been mentioned, let alone been included in his list of ailing relatives.
"We strolled along in companionable silence until we reached the foresty park about four roads down from my childhood home. I walked patiently next to him; waiting for each step he took while he good-naturedly tolerated the slow progress of his silver-tipped walking stick aided movement. Although it was late afternoon, I was still warm enough in only my jumper, my coat tucked protectively under his arm as we reached my clearing. As usual, the park was deserted and Grandpa pointed to the tree he taught me to climb, tapping a seat-shaped branch with the roughened end of his wooden stick.
"There boy, look." He wheezed to me, "That up there looks like a good perch, don't ya reckon?" He held my book for me while I scaled the tree effortlessly and he passed it back up to me, returning to sit on and old, rickety bench nearby. Those were the last words he ever said." Lily's breath hitched again, but again, her lips only parted slightly for her to breath and no sound emerged from them. As Remus gulped some more water.
I was absorbed in the ancient pages of ancient muggle fiction for a good half an hour; absent-mindedly swinging his can he had left hooked upon the branch I was sitting on between my legs. The sound of a snarl broke my reverie and I looked around me. Amongst the now dark green leaves in the dim light, I glanced down to see a figure below me. I was squinting to see that much. It was hunched over, seeming to be wearing a fur cape with some kind of strangely shaped hood; the dreadful snuffling and snarling was coming from behind that hood." Remus paused for a moment to rub the bridge of his nose, then carried on in a monotonous, unemotional voice.
"The head turned, it had caught sigh of the cane. It suddenly brought his eyes upward to reveal that what I thought was a hood to be a snout and ears and what I had seen to be a cape, real fur skin with a tufted tail. I looked into those gleaming eyes of the werewolf, and, without any sign of warning, he pounced, crunching his powerful jaws into the flesh of my leg. I hurtled to the ground, grabbing the cane, the force of my fall wrenching me from his mouth. I shoved the book in his face and watching get torn to threads as I yelled, my loud voice echoing back to me. I had time to see lights flicker on in houses before I turned back to duel with the werewolf.
"The duel, I can now only see as a blur, however, I vividly remember how he howled when I thrust the silver end of the stick into his bleeding mouth before the flickering light of many torches flamed around me. The wolf retreated into the forest-like trees that backed onto the surrounding countryside. The few men who had come and aided me paused where they were, each holding out what I now know to be wands, but looked like twigs then. I turned to Grandpa, the light flickering now on a shiny liquid seeping onto his collar. I looked more closely at the gap between his still, cold, ashen face and his old, bony shoulder to see tears and teeth marks. I looked at his lap to see my coat still clutched on top of the empty meal basket in his lap.
"I began to cry, hot, painful tears as I stared around me at the wooden twigs clutched in their hands and their sorrowful faces. I heard my mother's soft scream as she arrived. She held me close, cradling me against her breast. I don't remember any more until a week later; I passed out from my own blood loss."
Lily's free hand was now clutched to her mouth, her own tears leaking out of her sparkling eyes to dribble down her now pale cheeks. Remus hung his head as Lily walked around to sit in his lap, holding him and shushing him, his own tears soaking her top. When Madame Pince came round to switch the lights off that evening after telling the Marauders the pair were not in the library at lunch, that was how she found them.
So, I hope that was ok… No, do not worry, Lily and Remus are just friends.
Reviews would be appreciated x x x