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Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy

Chapter 7 – Curses

Previously:

Maybe her feelings had changed towards James? After all these years, maybe she was feeling sorry that after tomorrow, the next time she saw him, she would be spending her last year together with James. Maybe she regretted all the time she had wasted. She looked up again and scowled at the offender in question mucking about tearing across the grass like a child.

Maybe not.

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Well, Lily, she thought to herself as she repeatedly tugged a comb through her flame like curls that danced in the refreshing breeze from the tilted dormitory window. This is the last day. This time next year when you go home on that train, it will be forever. Her brushing halted for a moment as she considered that thought. She was almost on the verge of letting herself consider the near despairing feeling she felt, when her automatic response kicked in: - she only had to put up with James for one more year! At this realization, Lily wondered why the negative emotion refused to go away, quite in fact acting in the opposite direction and intensified. However, these dangerous musings were much too much of a liability for so early in the morning. Yes, that was it; she would just change the subject.

As she reached this conscious decision by herself, a deep, cutting physical pain replaced the previous one as she realized that Mother Nature had reached that very same decision for her. It had, however, the desired effect and all thoughts of James flew from her mind. She placed her hand just under the waistband of her jeans and pressed, hoping the warm pressure would alleviate some of the pain. Lily turned to her already packed trunk and realized that her "make-up bag" was at the bottom.

Opening the lid a bit harder than she meant to, it hit the end of her bed with a thud. She started taking out her neatly folded robes, the idea of summoning not forming in her mind. She felt another trickle of blood and frantically clawed in her trunk before her white jeans were ruined. Breathe, Lily, breathe. She undid the fastenings and slid her jeans down just in time before the first wrack of tears shook her body. Kneeling back down and sitting on her heels, she covered her face in her hands and she tried desperately to stop crying. Oh, this is ridiculous! I've been crying practically every other day! The sensible part of her now understood why she had been crying so often, but Lily did not feel inclined to listen to reason.

She felt a soothing hand on her back as she looked up into the bright blue eyes of Holly. They had been friends ever since they found out each other's names after being teased about them together. With her prickly disposition matching the leaves of the bush she was named after, Holly's temper was as red as its berries. Lily felt a tug at the emerald green top she was wearing and obediently lifted her arms as Holly slipped it off her shaking body. Now noticing the situation her best friend was in quicker than a stereotype might have suggested after a glance at her long blonde hair, Holly helped Lily to her feet and walked her towards the bathroom. She turned on the warm jets of water shooting from the shower and turned to find Lily's towel as the girl stepped into the gloriously cleansing crystal liquid.

The clear door now fully steamed up, Lily rubbed a spot clear as Holly returned to sit on the floor facing her leaning her head back against the wall with Lily's towel, jeans, top, bra and new knickers in her lap. She sat there with a smile on her face until she burst out laughing.

"What?" Lily, demanded, perplexed that Holly could find a moment like this amusing. What are friends for, eh?

"I can't believe it's taken so long for you to realize!" She collapsed into laughter again, not even stilled by the look being directed at her.

"Realize what?" Lily was not going to give in without a fight. She had been fighting this for years now and wasn't about to let up now.

"That you like him." Holly replied simply, not wanting to cloud the direct subject with frills, lace or complications.

"I do not fancy James Potter!" Lily retorted hotly, her cheeks now glowing not just because of the heat pouring over her.

"Who said anything about James Potter?" The smile now crept round to hook behind Holly's petite ears, Lily now feeling like she'd been had. Oh, dear, this was going to be a looong train journey.

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James and Sirius pushed and shoved their way aboard the Hogwarts express, managing to scare a few first years into letting them by. However menacing the dark glares James was sharing with his fellow mischief makers, they still wanted to share a compartment with him. Remus knocked Sirius aside and into their usual seats before he could invite whatever girl of the week into the compartment with him. He knew that the only chance of getting James to spill what had been troubling him for days was if they were on their own.

They sat in silence for a few seconds as the rest of the train filled up. Well, when I say silence, I am forgetting the raucous shouts of the rest of the school and Sirius' commentary and whinges as he kneeled up in his seat to watch the show of girls walking passed the locked glass door.

Peter stared avidly at James and Remus as they locked gazes as if he was following a tennis match trying to concentrate on the intensity of their facial expressions. James broke first.

"Where did you go that day?" He had noticed that one of his best friends had been spending more time than usual with the girl who, as James knew Remus was well aware of, had captured his heart. The fact that James already knew the answer did not contribute to his want for Remus to contradict him.

"The library," Remus replied honestly. At a look from James he carried on, "I didn't want to be sociable." This, at least, was partly true; Lily had been made to look for him.

"With Lily?" The noise had quieted now and there was a rumble beneath them as they felt the train start to move. This only enhanced the chill of James' harsh, suspicious tone and cool gaze.

"Yes, James, with Lily. I eventually couldn't hide my "furry little problem" from her any longer. I don't like lying to people like that." Remus etched a warm grin onto his tired face and hoped the use of James' phrase would melt the daggers tipped with ice he was being stabbed with.

"How come we couldn't find you?" James' frown deepened and his eyes narrowed even further. The hurt expression being returned from Remus suddenly didn't matter to him. Something was wrong, and he didn't know what it was.

Before Remus could answer there was a shuffle from outside and a hushed, "Just ask him!" and Lily slid the door open with a small knock. A sexy smile tugged at a corner of James' mouth and he looked up at Lily with a raised eyebrow, assuming that it was him she had come to see. This assumption, however, was cast deep into the dirt as Lily opened those luscious lips of hers to vocalise the request,

"Remus, may I have a word?" With a quick, nervous smile, Remus stood up and walked out behind Lily, not daring to turn to find the murderous look on his best friend's face. James stalked out in the opposite direction, presumably heading towards the men's, when before he could slam the door shut, Holly appeared in front of them and stood aside to let him pass before inviting herself in.

Sirius gaped at her, but then switched his mind onto conjuring the best line he could imagine. His imaginings were put on hold, when the beautiful girl before him opened her mouth,

"Don't even think about it. I'm only here so that Lily can talk to Remus – she says it doesn't concern me and she doesn't say that about a lot of things. Usually my business is her business and her business is my business, but not this time, so don't even let the inkling of grilling the bookworm when he gets back, if it is possible that one drip of a thought could reach your desert-mind." That shut Sirius up sufficiently.

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"Am I about to hear what went on in that Potions class you so gracefully deserted me in?" Remus asked pleasantly as he held the door to Lily's compartment open for her before stepping in himself and seating himself beside her, closing off the possibility of eavesdroppers.

"Yes," she answered, tucking a stray wave of hair behind her ear. "Well, you know I've been doing extra Potions study this year," she began, fiddling with the hem of her top, "I, um, asked Professor Slughorn if he would teach me something next year." Remus put a hand on top of hers to stop her fidgeting and forced her to look at him, his kind, intelligent eyes sensing the direction she was heading in. Lily was a very accomplished Potions maker. "And, um, well, I wanted to learn how to make the Wolfsbane Potion." She gushed out all at once as if saying it quickly would reduce the impact of what she had just said.

Without words, Remus instantly crushed her to him with all the strength he had recovered from the past few days. He had to lean over slightly to do this and his face buried in the hair draped across her shoulders, his face turned down into her body.

"Fucking hell, Moony." A pair of watching hazel eyes disappeared from view.

Ok, so maybe it's not that long, but the events make up for the length... ooooh…

Seeing as 17 people have put this on their alert list, shouldn't I be getting 17 reviews for each chapter? feels unloved and unappreciated x x x

Love,

x Imperial Princess x