Disclaimer: Oh, this again. No, no, you're right, I don't own Harry Potter – I wouldn't really want to own the boy himself, but I wouldn't say no to some of the other characters…

Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy

Chapter 10 – Summer, Part III – Remus

Previously:

"What?" he snapped, absently glancing across his room. He searched his room again, looking for the source of his name and then his eye caught on the two faces staring at him from on top of one of his bookshelves. His face softened, "Oh, hey… Sirius…and…Peter." He said, somewhat awkwardly, "What's up?"

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Thoughts raced through Remus's mind as he struggled to comprehend why all of a sudden his friends were talking to him. Let alone at a time like this. Rain still spattered against a window, letting out all the cloud's sadness before they thought about disappearing, leaving the sky clear for tomorrow. He was brought back from his frantic scrabbling for understanding by their voices.

"Listen, mate, we're really sorry for doubting you and all –"Peter began with an earnest expression of apology on his rat-like face before Sirius untactfully interrupted him.

"But Prongs – he's gone mental! Something's up and we don't know what it is!" At their nickname for James, Remus's eyes narrowed. He had had enough of James strutting – and yes, Remus thought, Severus was right, he did strut – around thinking he was all that, when really, Lily was right. James could be and was, most of the time, and egotistical prat. Part of him wanted to forgive his friends, after all, they hadn't really done much to him, but they didn't exactly stand up for him either. The other part thought that the Marauders were never going to learn a lesson if he just kept picking them up, forgiving them and correcting their wrongs for them, like he had been doing for the past six years. Ultimately, that lesson might even help James to win Lily's affections… Ever fond of doing the right thing, Remus responded,

"Look, I know you are, and we always knew James was mental, but this isn't the best of times to have a chat." He smirked inwardly to himself as he imagined the shock on their faces if they could see what he was up to now. Sirius and Peter's replies were cut off by a clear cut voice belonging to a girl of high social class,

"Remus, why on Earth are you talking to a mirror?" He spun around, placing the mirror on the window sill, leaning it against the glass so it faced the street. The girl did not check the mirror, obviously supposing it to have held Remus's reflection, but the others managed to glimpse the sight of a pale blonde standing in the doorway. Her hair was set in curls that just fell past her shoulders and she wore something that was made out of the same material as muggle jeans, but as a skirt, with a V neck black top with sleeves that flowed out at her wrists. Peter had the good sense to say nothing; Sirius could not have said something even if he tried. Their bookworm, their studious spoilsport had a veela look-alike in his room.

Remus smiled, "Oh, you know the old thing –"He put on an enchanting voice and half-whispered, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" He gently turned her round to face the full length mirror at the end of the long hallway. She laughed as she saw her reflection and tossed her hair,

"Oh I'm not the prettiest girl in England." She told him whist vainly staring at her reflection. It was as though her eyes were drawn to herself, no matter how hard she tried to look away. But, then again, used to having people do things for her, she did not try very hard.

Although Sirius and Peter could not see anything, their ears were pricked up as they strained to hear every unlikely word in this unbelievable situation. "Hmmm, well let's go and see who else might snatch that title away from you, shall we?" Remus pulled her away from the mirror and led her down the stairs.

Sirius and Peter were still staring dumbfounded into the mirror that only reflected the street. They heard a bang of the front door shutting and saw two figures running out into the rain, laughing. Remus had put his hand up to his forehead as though shading the sun from his eyes, dramatically searching for "The Prettiest Girl in England". The mirror had fallen out of Sirius's hands and was luckily caught by a sofa cushion,

"Did that just happen?" He blinked as thought trying to wake up, not really believing what he had just seen. Peter was just staring, open mouthed, unable to form words.

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"So, did you two have fun today?" Mrs Lupin asked the "veela look-alike" sitting opposite her. Her voice was polite as if she was more interested in folding her napkin than the answer. Inwardly she was relieved that her only son was finally taking an interest in girls. It did not really matter that because of his…condition he wouldn't be able to have what some others had, but as usual, he was doing exactly the right thing for himself. He had chosen someone that, once a month, he could send on a shopping trip or a country weekend without her suspecting a thing.

The girl graciously finished her petite mouthful before answering, "Oh yes, thank you, we had a splendid time, Mrs Lupin."

"Oh, please, darling, call me Amanda."

And so on it went, Remus being obliged to comment occasionally whilst his mother put on a well practised act engaging Caroline in talk for the rest of the evening. By the time he managed to collapse into bed that night, he lay on his back expecting to fall straight asleep after a tiring day. His eyes wanted to close, but they couldn't. Every time he tried to shut them, the image of his three best friends appeared before him.

One time, they were grinning and waving at him, Sirius patting the ground beside him, James trying to teach Peter how to catch the quaffle with Sirius's unhelpful commentary. He walked over to them and sprawled out next to Sirius under the direct path of the quaffle Peter and James were throwing. Peter caught it and the two spectators applauded, he threw it, but not far enough. Sirius rolled out of the way, and shoved at Remus to make him do the same. As he rolled back again and opened his eyes, Remus was back in his spacious bedroom. He stared around at his large desk, bookshelves, TV set with some DVDs piled next to it and finally looked into the empty black fireplace.

The fireplace was slowly shimmering, reflecting silver waves. Remus blinked and found himself facing the Black Lake. He looked down at himself and found himself dressed all in black, right to the tips of his polished shoes. He felt a hand clap on his shoulder and saw that Sirius was dressed exactly the same as him. He felt a sudden lurch in the bottom of his stomach, had one of the Marauders died? What if they had? He had never gotten to make it up with them. His fears were quieted when he saw Peter kneeling at the edge of the lake, his head in his hands, James beside him, holing his wand to a small, ornament sized ship. He set the ship into the water with its load wrapped. Remus rummaged around in the back of his mind as to what was on the ship. James set a jet of light at the sails and they caught alight. The ship suddenly rocked to one side with the force, but stayed upright. However, a slick dead weight fell over one side; it looked almost like a piece of sting. Then Remus remembered – Peter's beloved rat was dead. He would never forgive that young caretaker's boisterous cat. Remus watched as the flames sent the body to its next life.

The flames were flickering less, now. They were motionless, and brighter – almost white. Remus opened his eyes next to find himself staring at the moon, full and round. A cloud drifted across it, making it look more like an axe blade, and he immediately wished he hadn't opened his eyes. He could feel it happening again, he was changing; his blood blazed and rushed through him like fire. It was getting too hot to handle, he couldn't think straight, he could feel his body changing. He heard tearing, ripping, snarling. His breath was becoming laboured; his gasps for air sounded more like growling. Who was he? Why was he here? A scent infiltrated his powerful snout; a slightly metallic, calling scent; the scent of blood.

He raced through trees, following it, scampering faster and faster. As he got nearer, the scent changed; this was no ordinary blood. He found his prize, lying dead on the forest; the creature's body had collapsed, contorted in pain. The werewolf stalked the clearing, his powerful paws treading on sticks, making them snap like cracking whips in the silence. He moved closer and closer, avoiding the sharp horn and picked the silvery white body up from the floor by its neck. He dragged it over to a stump, pools of silver trailing after them. He couldn't wait any longer; his teeth sank into the flesh, cruelly ripping it apart and the unicorn's blood flowed from his brutal muzzle. An icy sensation crawled through the werewolf as he lapped the blood greedily. A clattering behind him and he whipped around, still with the limp corpse dangling from his mouth. It fell to the floor with a thump as yet another bright light scorched through his eyes.

"Remus, Remus!" He jumped back with a start, feeling around him, checking this was not another vision, but was actually real. His lights were on and his mother was shaking him awake, worrying etched into her face. "Remus, you were yelling, what's wrong?" All her pretences of the evening had vanished and he was grateful to have his own mother back again. He smiled wearily at her, she was constantly worrying about him; about his situation, his work, his books, his social life – he felt it would be a bit pathetic to be spilling his bad dreams to her now that he was going to be starting seventh year soon.

"Oh it was just another, um transformation thing, I'll be fine." That, at least, was part true. She knew he didn't like to talk about his "furry little problem".

A few minutes later, her muffled footsteps were pattering down the hall and Remus sighed to himself as he lay back among his pillows. He was debating with himself intensely. If what he was about to do got back to the Marauders, they'd definitely think that Caroline was a ruse, but then again, how could he have made it so that Sirius and Peter saw her then? He couldn't; he doubted they'd believe him though. He doubted they would have believed him about Caroline at all if they hadn't have seen her. Yet, he felt that he could trust Lily to be discreet; after all, if she hadn't even told Holly about her "little extracurricular project" as she so termed it, she could keep things to herself without the Marauders knowing what was up exactly.

But, he argued, they knew that something was going on. What's more, they got it wrong and thought that something else was going on. What would happen if that occurred again? Wild thoughts crossed his mind of the Marauders sending him hate mail through muggle post. What if Caroline read them? She'd hate him! Besides, it was Lily that Remus was thinking of introducing Caroline to first. That way, Caroline would feel part of his life and Lily wouldn't be asking her odd things about muggles. Then again, Caroline might find it odd that Remus hadn't introduced her to any male friends and then think –

Remus let out a frustrated growl. He was just confusing himself further. Why confuse himself about things he didn't need to when he could be unravelling his vision like dreams? Okay, so he knew divination wasn't Lily's best subject, but she knew more about it than he did. Come to think about it, she knew a lot that he wanted to know about; girls, friends, balancing the two out, his transformations. His first argument was winning out. Logic only had a small amount of time to convince him otherwise…

That time had just run out. Remus kicked off his duvet and grabbed his wand. He pointed it at his fireplace and flames shot up. He winced slightly at the brightness and link to his disturbing scares but carried on regardless. He sent a silencing charm at the door to soundproof his room and then turned towards the flames. His next spell set the flames momentarily purple; he waited until they had returned to the flickers of orange and red before sending another cautious look at the door.

He crouched down next to the flames and whispered despairingly into them,

"Lily?"

I thought you deserved an update, so here we are. Tell me what you think? Please?

Love,

x Imperial Princess x