TheDarkestShinobi: Thank you Thenchick for the review. No, thank you all for your reviews! I got the review while I wasn't doing anything and viola the chapter appeared, so ty and review, it could end up with another chapter!
Oh and thank you leslie grace for agreeing to Beta my story!!!!
Chapter Start
I had, for the better part of two hours, been explaining what had been happening to me recently to the nerd herd.
My Goddess, I'm starting to sound just like Aphrodite. When did I start calling my friends the nerd herd anyway?
I had told them about everything, not leaving anything out. After all, Neferet already knew that I knew, so I didn't have to worry about that particular issue any more. It felt good to have it all out in the open at last.
**
I was sitting underneath my tree when I felt it. I don't know what it was, but it made my skin shiver and my mouth dry out. I could feel the adrenaline flowing through my veins as I stood and jumped up onto a nearby bench.
"Come out here!" I shouted, letting my voice carry in the night.
Nothing came, but the feeling lingered. It started to intensify, and I hopped off the bench nervously, walking forward. I knew that something was here. I heard the sound of bat wings. I turned around to look behind me and then turned back quickly. I still didn't see anything.
Then I smelt the blood.
Only this blood was foul and made me want to puke. I jerked my head around, trying to identify the source. I heard something awful. It was a high pitched cry; caw! I turned instinctively towards the offensive noise only to discover the ugliest creature I had ever seen looking back at me. My hands shot up to my face, trying to block the vision out, and I fell back, a searing hot pain burning up my arm.
I couldn't tell you what it looked like after that. I only remember the blackness. The dark emptiness.
When I opened my eyes again, the feeling was gone. The night above me remained untouched, and the pain in my arm had faded into a dull throb. My chest heaved as I stared up into the sky. I lay there in the grass with closed eyes, panting until I sensed a presence above me.
"All sorts of things seem to happen to you under this tree, don't they?" I looked up to find Erick Night looking back at me in all of his glory, and it almost took my breath away.
"Erik?" I asked, dazed. He knelt and gave me a swift assessment.
"You look alright… What happened?" I didn't answer him, not yet at least. I looked down to my arm. There wasn't anything there.
I probably could've convinced myself that nothing had happened, that it was all just my imagination, but my Goddess-given sixth sense told me otherwise. There was no sense in making Erik worry about my sanity by trying to explain that particular weird phenomena though.
"Nothing. I was just sitting out here."
"I know you well enough to know what "nothing" means Zoey." He stood and offered me his hand, which I took gratefully. We started walking back to the dorm. It reminded me of the times when it had been just he and I. Just us. Together.
He turned to me abruptly, his eyes boring into mine with compassion. "I was a jerk Zoey."
I shook my head at him, suddenly feeling guilty, but I couldn't let Erik try to take another one of my screw-ups onto his shoulders. "I cheated on you." I said bluntly, feeling awful.
"Loren had powers of manipulation, not to mention he had it all planned out. But he's dead now." I froze, was rigid. He stopped walking completely, looked me full in the face. "Yes, you heard right. Loren Blake is dead." He tried to say it nicely, but I caught the edge to his words. Then as they registered, I almost fell to my knees.
"Why do you care so much about him?!" The clear jealousy and menace of his harsh voice struck me.
"Because it's my fault! He went looking for me and then my step-dad killed him! I just know!" I turned my face from him, a few tears escaping. Erik grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him. He knew I was trying to hide my crying face from him. Why does everyone always know when I'm trying to hide something and then make me face them head on with it anyways?
"You have enough pressure already. You can't blame yourself for everything!" He was still incredibly gorgeous as I returned his gaze through watery eyes. He pulled me in to his chest, trying to hug me, and a certain kind of fervor hung in the air. I didn't wrap my arms around him; I just stood there obtusely. Though I didn't outwardly react, I felt a little better.
The numbness eating away at my heart remained, and guilt pounded against my consciousness.
Heath blamed himself for my almost-death, and that was completely my fault. Loren had actually died, and it was just as much my fault. I was certain that my step-dad had killed him. I shook my head without any real reason and took a deep breath, shuddering from it. When I finally glanced up, Erik let go of me, his sympathetic eyes watching my every moment.
I felt the first drop of water land on my forehead. Within what felt like only a moment, it was lightly raining. He tugged at me, trying to get me to follow him inside, but I shook my head and turned away. I chose to look at a tree instead of his heart-breaking orbs that I'd seen so much pain in as of late, most of it my fault as well. And now I'd cause more.
"I need to mourn, alone." I said flatly, emotionlessly.
"Zoey…" He started, softly.
"I'll be fine."
I accepted his silence as his agreement and heard his footsteps fade away.
I felt like the dark sky would consume me if I kept gazing at it. I closed my eyes and my mind in one motion. Heath had once given me a piece of advice I'll always remember in times like these. Don't think. You think all of the time. Feel, feel the things you take for granted. Pain meant I was alive.
I couldn't cry though. If I cried, I'd never stop. But I wanted to cry for Loren, for the piece of myself that I'd lost to him, for the love I lost with Erik, for the pain I continually caused Heath. I wanted to give up. I wanted to let Neferet win. I wanted to the ground now and return to the Earth, let the world pass me by.
So I let the rain be my tears. I let the world cry for me. I had to be strong.
I could hear thunder, see lightning behind my closed eyelids.
I knew that Loren never loved me, that what we had was only physical, and for him it was only because of Neferet. That didn't matter to my soul. My heart ached. I had Heath, but I had lost Loren, and there was no way to say goodbye to him now. I had let him slip right through my fingers like sand. He was only something I'd thought I could have and hold.
I lifted my hands to the sky with closed eyes, held my palms upwards and smiled in an act that was more symbolic for letting go and starting again than anything else. I thought of my life, of all the betrayal and pain, of everything, and all I could do was smile.
The wind swirled around the school, chilling me to the bone. I stopped thinking and felt, just as I had with Loren, only this time I felt the burden of the world acutely instead of freedom from it all. I felt it all crashing down, and I welcomed it, I welcomed it all. I let my old world crash. My old self and my old life fell out of me, they didn't belong there anymore.
I would be the high priestess I was supposed to be, I would be strong. I will stand, never to fall, never to bow to anything.
The way I stand in the rain now is the way I will stand through all of the fights. The rain washes my past away in a flood; the wind blows my fears away in a storm. I let my elemental powers out, and smiled at the lightness it gave me. Harder the rain beat down, harder the wind whipped about my face and I knew Nyx was cleansing me of my sins, my previous life. A fire warmed my soul and I knew that she approved. The Earth allowed me to take root and fortified me, made me sturdy. I knew then that no matter what, Nyx would help me.
I felt his cool arms around me in an embrace. I felt his heart beat and could see him perfectly although my eyes stayed closed. I turned, my eyes still shut to the world, knowing that if I opened them the image would be broken and I would still feel empty.
Loren…
I needed to say goodbye; this was my gift from Nyx. It was my closure. I took a deep breath. He knelt before me, his head bowed and fist across chest in a salute, the salute of a warrior to a high priestess. In that instant I forgave him for everything. He was Loren Blake, Vampire Laureate. He was a wonderful man with the gift of language. I forgot how that language was used to ruin my life, how he'd used it to use me. I forgave him with a type of love I didn't know I possessed, one for life and the simple miracles of it, so to speak. It was Nyx showing me these things.
Before me I saw Loren, a new man to me now. I saw someone loved and respected. I saw a brilliant man who was caring and fiercely competitive and passionate. I saw into his soul as he'd seen into mine while alive. He stood, slowly disappearing from my sight. I let him go like sand through my fingers instead of holding him like I had before. Instead of holding onto the tiny parts I could have, the memories that would've haunted me, I let him go into the wind and water and fire and Earth. I freed him from me and in turn freed myself from him.
I opened my eyes. The wind softened to a breeze and the rain lightened so that I was surrounded by a sweet smelling mist. I smiled and whispered up into the night sky, My voice flowing in the wind to the moon, to my Goddess.
Thank you Nyx. Thank you for letting me let Loren go.
--
It was light out by the time I entered my room. Nala was on my pillow, too deep asleep even to wake and mee-ow-uff at me. I peeled off my soaking clothes and slipped into a pair of sweats before falling into my bed. I pulled my drowsy cat into the crook of my arm, and for once she didn't protest grumpily. I sighed, relaxing and falling asleep against the wall.
--
"There's a Dark Daughters meeting tonight," Erin started.
"Neferet called it, and Shekinah wants to watch." Shaunee finished diligently.
"Oh great. More pressure." I muttered. I put my forehead against the cool wood of the table.
"Not to be the bearer of bad news, but you need a consort." Damien said hesitantly.
"But Loren's dead!" Jack said unconscious of his slip-up. I flinched.
"Oh! I'm sooooo sorry Zoey!" He squeaked out when he saw my reaction. I shrugged it off and stood, leaving my unfinished tray and untouched brown pop.
"It's okay Jack. I've gotta go talk to Erik." Once I was out of the cafeteria I took a deep breath and steadied myself with the wall. The world stopped spinning just as I saw Erik about to leave. I waved him over.
"I guess this is about tonight." He said quietly.
"Erik…" I wasn't entirely sure how to start.
"I was on my way to find you. I just heard."
"Ditto… Which is why I need your help." I hoped he wouldn't make me spell it out.
"I'll be your consort. That is, if you'll have me." He stepped closer, taking my hand in his and rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. I was shocked by the sudden realization of how close we really were.
"You almost died." He said suddenly, darkly. All I could do was nod.
"You were going to leave us. You were going to leave me." He met my eyes and then kissed my hand. I wanted to tell him to stop, that I had Heath, and I wasn't going to let him go. But then I felt that something in my gut telling me not to. I'd done horrible things to Erik; we could talk about us later. Just not now. I looked down guiltily.
His hand pushed my chin up, and he searched my eyes.
"It made me realize how important you are." I could feel my lips tremble and I bit the lower one to make it stop. I looked from his lips and to his eyes.
"I…"
"You have Heath. But Heath will fade, and he will die. We will live for hundreds of years. He's not a vampire, love. You are. I am."
I wanted to kiss him. I forgot how much of a jerk he had been. I was giving him a clean slate. His lips drew closer to me and I froze.
Heath… Erik… Heath… Erik…
His cool lips touched my forehead and his hand released mine.
"I will win your heart."
--
His words kept playing over and over in my mind after that, throughout all my classes.
Drama in particular was a double-edged sword for me. I had never really liked it; I had my own problems, and I didn't need to take on the personality of another person with even more problems. At the same time I loved being able to leave my own problems behind. I idly wondered who was going to replace our teacher.
And then my sometimes personal superhero and distraction of the day walked into the room.
Erik Night. Of course he'd be the temporary teacher.
He smiled at me and I knew he was my Erik again. The sweet, caring one, not the possessive jerk.
He spoke smoothly and with a commanding humor.
"I'm taking over your class, and I must admit, I don't have anything planned at this point." A few girls giggled and he smiled. I sighed, just as dreamily obsessed with his good looks as them. He continued in his 'professor' voice. "I do, however, want to do some Shakespearian improv. Any suggestions?" He gestured to the person in the row behind me to approach the stage. I didn't hear any groaning, so I suppose that person had raised their hand.
"I want to do A Midsummer Night's Dream." A pretty girl walked up. I couldn't remember her name, but I think she was one of the actresses involved in the competition Erik had won.
His calm façade faded into one resembling resignation more than anything else.
"Okay then, pick your cast." He told her. Then I remembered her as one of the applicants for the new Dark Daughters. Lisa, I think.
"Um… Zoey…" I groaned and he smirked. She smiled eagerly at me, clearly in admiration.
"You," She said, nodding towards Erik. I smirked at him now.
"and Marcus." The latter winked at her and she blushed.
Marcus and I got up onto the stage and Lisa directed us.
"Zoey you're Hermia, Professor Night is Demetrius, Marcus is Lysander and I'm, uh, Helena, I guess."
"Do you want to switch?" I asked her politely, figuring she must not like that part. Marcus shook his head at me.
"Too late, you're mine." He grinned playfully, always a flirt, and Erik handed us copies of the book.
"Which scene Lisa?" Erik asked. She picked a random page and we all turned to it. I read the scene nervously, my blood pumping faster. In this scene Demetrius wants to force Hermia to marry him, when she is clearly in love with Lysander. It was so ironic. Two more kids were called up to be Thesues and Egeus. One of them started.
"Take time to pause, and by the next new moon
The Sealing day betwixt my love and me…"
Demetrius and Erik, men in love with women they can't have… Erik's voice broke through my train of thought.
"Relent, sweet Hermia..."
He took my hand softly and I looked to Marcus who walked over like a jealous lover.
"…and Lysander." He turned to Marcus with a look of suppressed fury. I knew in my mind that Erik did not see Marcus, but Heath.
"Yield Thy crazed title to my certain right."
Marcus pushed himself between us so that Erik had to let go of my hand
"You have her father's love Demetrius. Let me have Hermia's. Do you marry him." Marcus recited poetically.
The class was silent as I looked over to Will, whose face was contorted in anger. How come I was the only one who couldn't act this class?
"Scornful Lysander, true, he hath my love; and what is mine my love shall render him. And she is mine and all my right of her I do estate unto Demitrius."
I looked back to Erik and played my part well. Marcus walked towards Paul and Erik moved closer to me, took my hand again. We became the center of the play as the others quieted themselves.
"Why choose him?" He demanded.
"I have already chosen him." I stepped back and he followed. Now he stood intimately close, though he did not touch me.
"Am I too late? Have you lost your heart to that mongrel?" Marcus approached me, and I too saw him as Heath in my mind.
"He hath always had my heart."
"As you hath had mine." We all looked to Lisa who had taken Erik's hand.
"I have never loved you." He told her without taking his eyes away from mine.
"As Hermia has never loved you!" She told him. Erik truly looked heartbroken and the other actors snuck off stage in the background, their parts being over.
"No, you are wrong, she has always loved me, she belongs with me! You will not take her away. I have others, many women of beauty after me, but none could ever compare to the fair Hermia!" He shouted back to her.
I almost forgot that we were acting, and that Marcus, not Heath was beside me. I watched them argue until Lisa led me to a different section of the stage for our part.
"You're really good." she whispered into my ear and then she turned back to the crowd, acting her part again. "Why must he give you his love?"
"I wish he didn't." I saw Erik smiling over my shoulder, but all I saw in him was pain, a pain that I had caused him. I could hear some people whisper, but I couldn't quite make out their words.
"His love… it's not my fault he loves me!" I insisted.
"It is! He loves the way you move, act and speak, and the beauty of thou." She retorted.
"Ha! All things I would do without!" I had to remind myself that I was playing Hermia, who had never led Demetrius on, had never broken Lysander's heart. She was only responsible for one heart break, which was not her fault, and regardless, had healed.
Erik cleared his throat, interrupting us, and addressed the class as teacher again.
"I'm afraid we have to end this because time is up, but get Macbeth for next Monday and we'll do a reading of it. Now a big round of applause for our A Midsummer Night's Dream cast."
The class cheered as actors and actresses took turns bowing. I did a quick one and then watched my classmates file out. I stayed on the stage and sank to my knees.
I knew Erik was watching me from the shadows. At least this was the last class of the day.
What happened to being strong and starting over?
I wasn't keeping the vow I'd made. I had to be stronger. What kind of high priestess fell at the feet of her problems like a coward?
The dull and rhythmic thuds of his footsteps grew louder as he approached through the aisle. He lifted himself onto the stage, a good five feet up.
"Demetrius could've made Hermia's life easier." He said to me quietly. I choked back a sob.
"Go on Demetrius, find your Helena." I told him weakly.
"Demetrius never wanted to find his Helena." He stated plainly.
"What if Demetrius had many Helenas at his feet?"
"Even then, Demetrius would always love his Hermia."
"She doesn't deserve him."
"He doesn't care, he loves her." He sat beside me, shoulders heaving with deep breaths.
He should be with someone else, should leave me behind like he tried to do before. He shouldn't stay here next to me. He makes things harder for himself.
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"It would be easier for Demetrius to choose Helena." I said.
"Even if he did not love her? When his heart beats only for Hermia?"
"Even then."
"It would be easier for Hermia" He said sorrowfully, shifting beside me. Now I faced him and his bluer than blue eyes looked so beautiful; he was on the verge of tears. Here I was, hurting him again.
"She doesn't want to hurt Demetrius, but she truly loves Lysander." His eyes darkened with a dangerous power I had seen only in Loren before. It was possessive and fiery and made me shiver.
"And Lysander's love faded until he threw himself at even Helena."
"Lysander broke the spell, Demetrius never did." He shook his head never breaking eye contact with me.
"Hermia abandoned Demetrius's love." Was I abandoning him? Was that how he truly felt?
"She had Lysander…"
"Even when Lysander betrayed her."
"Lysander fell under a spell."
"A spell of human betrayal." I clenched my fists as a tear escaped my eye. Human…
"It faded with time."
"Time takes everything away. Especially human things." His voice resounded throughout the empty auditorium as if he was delivering an undeniable truth I didn't want to accept, which, in a way, he was. The teardrop rolled down my cheek and fell to the floor.
"Hermia won't lose Lysander!" I scrambled to my feet shakily. He stood as well, much more graceful and quick than I had been. We locked gazes again and nothing else in the world existed. I looked into his blue eyes, unforgiving and cold as ice. My eyes scanned his face, stopping on the now full blue crescent. I looked down, not wanting to see the truth.
"She won't," I felt his arms around me "But you are not she, nor I he"
I wasn't Hermia. In Hermia's life everything worked out for everyone in the end. In the end Lysander stayed with Hermia. In the end Helena and Demetrius were happy. I wasn't Hermia, but was it wrong to hope for a similar ending?
Chapter End
TDS: Hello! What do you think? I tried to not make it an ErikxZoey chapter but it ended up that way, how was my improv scene? Should I attempt another one?
Review please
If/When you do, tell me what your favorite scene in the story has been so far and maybe, a scene you'd like to see
C ya!