They're gone. The wings are gone. Somehow I feel lighter and like there are no more worries. It has been two days after the surgery and I am heading back to school as a new man. I stand up straighter and I feel confident. I opened the main doors to McKinley high and was pelted with a cold red sticky liquid. I was hit by a slushy. The very slushy that I had thrown into Fang's face earlier this month.
"FAG!" A male voice yelled as it faded farther away.
I was disoriented for a minute till my hand was grabbed and taken into another room. After I heard running water I guessed we were in the bathroom. The person began to wipe me clean. The hands were familiar. They were firm but gentle. "David?"
"Yeah it's me Ig." I can feel the smile in his voice but could sense the concerned look he gave me.
"What happened? Why would someone do that to me?" I was very confused. I mean I was a football player! I threw a slushy into my best friends face! They couldn't found out about me and David. Did they?
"They found out. I don't know how but they did." David's voice cracked. I lifted hand to his cheek and felt the hot tear that escaped his eye.
I looked at him straight in what I thought was his eyes. "We will figure this out."
"That's my line."
A small chuckle came from my lips. "I'm scared." I admitted to him. I would never tell someone I was scared. If I did then I would be seen as weak. I had to be strong for the flock, but with David I didn't have to lie about my feelings.
"Don't worry. We will figure this out." He repeated.
By the end of the month, the bullying got worst. Notes were taped to my back. There was writing on my locker. People would trip me in the lunch room. I started carrying around my backpack with all my books so I'd avoid my locker. I also started eating lunch in Mr. Schue's classroom. David and I started growing apart. Every time we had free time together the football players dragged him off to god knows where.
I have started climbing to the roof when I had a class with the worst of the bullies. My legs would dangle off the edge as I drank a bottle of gin I stole from Dr. Martinez's liquor cabinet. The breeze felt nice blowing through my hair. Everyday I think about what would happen if I just jumped off. I would wonder who would care and who would be grateful. Then I would wonder how peaceful I would be at last.
Though I hate to admit it, I have resulted in self harm. I'm not an idiot and cut my wrist. I cut my waist. Something about it makes me feel better like I'm alive. Its great get away from life and realize how much worse things could be. I mean I could be in the sewer city eating roasted rats from a dumpster.
Dr. Martinez and Max have started getting on my back about grades and my attitude. They keep pestering me about being more social. I wouldn't- couldn't tell them about what really happens. Max would flip out and probably snap all their necks and Dr. Martinez would get the authorities involved. I would hate that. I hate any kind of attention, and I especially hate authority. Then if I do tell them now, they will just get mad because I didn't say anything sooner. Its a lose-lose situation.
A letter. That's what people leave right? They leave a letter. I guess I have had this written in my head about five years ago but never thought I would write it down on paper. I mean I have tried before. I tried pills but that didn't work. I've tried shooting myself but was too scared back then. So this time I'll go to the roof.
It was 3 o'clock on the dot. I left the note on Max's locker and I sit on the roof with my legs dangling off the edge. I can't wait to be gone.