To those I couldn't reply to:
Jamie: Believe me, I completely understand the busy schedule. I've been trying to write this chapter forever. I was either thinking about it when I didn't have the time to write, or when I did have the time to write, inspiration left me. *Sigh* It does suck sometimes to be a victim of such things. Oh well, its done now, right? Thanks for the tip on Kagome's name. I suppose I just skip over her name with spell check because it always counts it wrong. I guess you can't catch every mistake. Hm ... yeah, I hope dragging out her fate didn't overdo it any. And guess what? Her entire fate won't be revealed in this chapter either, although it will hint at it. The next chapter, which is the epilogue, will let you know what really became of her. Glad you're liking it so far.
Through Blood and Tears
Chapter 20: Misery, Pain, and Suffering
It was like a dream.
Everything drifted away. Pain. Guilt. Heartache. Suffering.
Serenity washed over her, like a wave gently lapping against the shore.
Only one emotion became present in her heart.
Happiness.
It felt so long ago since she had felt this way. It was so strange, so foreign.
But as soon as it had touched her soul, it faded away, replaced by darkness.
Kagome blinked repeatedly, opening her eyes to a blinding white light completely surrounding her. Memories were fuzzy and thoughts seemed incoherent. Was she dreaming? Her eyes shifted about the room, trying to grasp a hold of something familiar, something she could connect with what had happened to her.
"Kagome," a man whispered. She felt a hand rub gently against her own in order to bring her comfort. "Wake up, Kagome."
Her eyes found a boy at her bedside. A strained smile was stretched across his lips and his deep pools of amber seemed shallow in her wake. "Inuyasha?" she mumbled, unsure as to why the half-demon looked so sad and concerned. "What ... happened?"
Inuyasha moved closer, trying not to strain her senses. "Don't you remember?" Kagome shook her head slightly in response, but immediately regretted it. Instinctively she brought a hand to her head, trying to soothe the ache erupting from it. "You lost a lot of blood," he continued, watching her actions.
Blood? Why would she have lost blood? Last thing she remembered was the fight in the school cafeteria. Had she been injured during it? Shifting slightly to get into a more comfortable position, she hissed in agony, causing her companion to flicker his eyes over her injured body. Her stomach felt as if it was being torn to shreds. She lifted the covers slightly to glance at the source of her discomfort. A bandage had been wrapped tightly around her abdomen, soaked with blood. No, the fight had nothing to do with her condition. These wounds she had were much worse than a simple punch or kick could do.
She tried to concentrate on the events following the fight, but it only produced more of a migraine and she found herself unable to press onward. "Tell me ... what happened," she mumbled breathlessly, still trying to recuperate from the pain.
Inuyasha shifted his eyes nervously. "I can't do that, Kagome. At least not yet. Not until you're better." His tone gave no room for argument.
But Kagome didn't care whether or not he wanted to tell her. She was injured, practically dead, and she would be damned if someone didn't tell her what was going on. She grasped the half-demon's hand firmly in her own. "Tell me what happened," she spoke sternly.
The half-demon sighed beside her. "Kagome, you're in the hospital." He paused a moment, allowing the information to sink in.
Well, knowing she was in the hospital was obvious. The starch white walls and uncomfortable bedding was evidence of that. Kagome didn't need to know where she was, she wanted to know what had happened. A memory flashed through her vision: The dark corners of a cellar, the walls covered in blood, her teacher torn to pieces in the middle of the room, and Inuyasha's amber eyes offering comfort.
And then, all at once, it hit her.
Detention. Her friends. Her family. Naraku. Her father. All of it came flooding back, causing her eyes to widen with fear and her head to throb in pain. A strangled cry came from her throat as tears overflowed her lids, streaming down her cheeks to drop soundlessly off her chin. "No," she whispered, realization crossing her visage. "Its not right! This can't have happened!" She turned to the man at her bedside. "Tell me, Inuyasha," she choked out, grasping his hand tighter. "Tell me it was all just a horrible nightmare."
He shook his head, his heart clenching at the sight of his beloved crying out her anguish. "I can't lie to you," he mumbled. "I'm so sorry, Kagome. Oh kami, I'm sorry." He wrapped his arms around the injured girl and brought her into an embrace, making sure to steer clear of Kagome's wounded stomach. "I thought I had lost you," he whispered aloud, his ears plagued with her choked cries.
They sat side by side in the blinding white hospital room, the stench of medicine hanging in the air. With Kagome securely in his arms, Inuyasha allowed the girl to cry into his chest, soaking his shirt with tears. He began to stroke her midnight tresses, willing himself not to cry. The fear of losing her still hung in the air. Kagome had died. She was dead. And then modern medicine was able to pull her from the darkness and bring her back to him.
She was so pure, so innocent. She always looked for the best in people, always put others before herself. So why did she have to be put through so much terror and agony? To realize that her father, the only man she had trusted during her childhood, was to come to her like that, kill her loved ones, make her feel like dirt, and then try to take her life ... Inuyasha couldn't imagine the burden of loss Kagome had on her shoulders.
So they sat there, each feeling the pain of death, each suffering from the guilt, and both wishing it had never happened.
It was quiet as the afternoon sunlight streamed softly through the windows. Muffled footsteps drifted through the closed door, accompanying the soft turn of a page. Rin sat in a wooden chair beside a patient's bed, reading yet another article about the school incident. It seemed as though the press refused to stop mentioning it. However, she wasn't sure if it was the publicity the newspaper companies pined for, or if it was their desire to cause heartache to those that were involved. They continued to describe every minute detail as if they had seen it through their own eyes, had witnessed the fear and heart-pounding terror each time a fellow classmate was found dead or injured.
She was disgusted.
Although Rin was always optimistic about everything, knowing lives were threatened caused all promising light to wane. She was sure the remaining survivors would be okay, at least physically. However, for the past week, she had found herself waking up in a cold sweat, her breaths labored, as she endured another nightmare. It had only been a few days, but she could no longer bear the agonizing horror. Tomorrow she would meet with a psychiatrist.
The woman in the bed stirred slightly, her brow furrowed as slumber was pried from her mind. "Oh, Ms. Higurashi," Rin exclaimed with a smile, setting down the newspaper on the couch by the window. "I'm glad to see you're finally awake. You've been unconscious for quite some time."
Her brown eyes, still fogged over with sleep, glanced around the room in a daze. They settled on the young woman's face and blinked repeatedly, trying to register the girl in her mind. "Rin?" she asked hesitantly, her voice hoarse from lack of water.
"Let me help you." Rin stood and helped the older woman to readjust her pillows and sit up into a more pleasant position. Satisfied that Ms. Higurashi was comfortable, she walked over to a nearby table and poured some ice cold water into a paper cup. "Here, drink this," she stated softly, placing the cup into her hands.
Kagome's mother smiled appreciatively before downing the refreshment in a single gulp. "Thank you," she mumbled.
"It's no problem at all." The small woman took the cup from her hands and sat down once more.
She peered about the room a few moments as Rin watched carefully. It was the first time Ms. Higurashi had regained consciousness since Saturday night and, although she should fetch a doctor, the teenager refused to allow this opportune moment to pass. "Am I in the hospital, Rin?" the woman asked softly, noting the white walls and smell of medicine.
"Yes, you are," Rin confirmed, her smile seeming to strain. "I'm not sure if you remember-"
The patient turned to look at her. "The house," she mumbled, almost incoherently. "A boy was there. Naraku. He ... he had a knife." It was all the woman could say before she pressed a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes to block out the painful memories.
"Ms. Higurashi," the young girl began, placing a comforting hand upon her arm. "I know you've just woken up, but I need to ask you something."
Kagome's mother opened her eyes, looking rather tired after sleeping for so long, and rested her head against the pillows. "Of course, dear," she replied, although she desperately wanted to know the fate of her father and son. They had all been attacked that night and she had given herself to the darkness with Souta wrapped in her arms. And what of her daughter? Surely she had known something was wrong when no one appeared home. Why was Rin here, of all people, and not Kagome?
Rin breathed a sigh of relief. "I apologize for being so upfront about all of this, but we need to know," she said softly, pausing a second to see her reaction. When the woman only stared, she continued. "Ms. Higurashi, what was your relationship with Naraku and that demon?"
In all of her years of knowing the kind hearted woman, Rin had always seen Kagome's mother as a cheerful and down to earth person. Never had she seen her eyes darken and her lips purss at the mention of her husband and a fellow student. "I suppose my daughter would have found out eventually," she replied quietly, her gaze moving to the opposite side of the room, focusing on the pale walls. She took a deep breath before continuing.
"My husband and I had met long ago, before Kagome was born. It was at a business meeting for the corporation I worked for as an intern at the time. I knew he was a demon from the very start, but he was charming and sweet. I was young and naive then. It was no wonder I fell for his tricks." A breath shuddered from her lips, followed by a stream of coughs. Rin quickly filled the paper cup with more water and handed it to her, receiving a small thank you in return.
After she had downed the ice cold liquid and her coughing had ceased, Ms. Higurashi continued. "It wasn't long after that we married, but even then I felt as if something was missing from my life." A smile spread across her lips as her eyes lit up. "And then I met Ryo Nakamura. Oh, he was such a lovely man."
Rin grinned at the love sparked in Ms. Higurashi's gaze. "Where did you meet him?" she asked eagerly, always a sucker for a romance story. "Did you love him?"
She nodded. "I was out shopping for some things to spruce up the house we had just bought and I couldn't decide on a paint color. He was looking as well and we just sort of started talking. It was much later that I realized we had been standing there for nearly an hour." The woman closed her eyes in remembrance as Rin aided her in readjusting her pillows so she was laying down, staring up at the ceiling. "We met quite often after that, mostly when my husband was at work. And then one weekend, Mr. Higurashi was on a business trip and Ryo came over. He took his leave before the sun rose over the horizon, but he left me with a very special gift. Nine months later, Kagome was born."
The teenager's eyes widened in shock. "I understand now. That explains why he said they weren't related and she isn't a half-demon like Inuyasha. Ms. Higurashi, what happened to Kagome's father?"
A sigh escaped her lips. "After she was conceived, Ryo disappeared. I didn't know where he went or why, but I later learned that he had been drafted into the army. It was dangerous for him to send letters to me in the risk of my husband finding out, so we had no contact with each other for years. It was only after he served his time that he came back to visit me and my daughter."
"Such a romantic story," Rin commented, placing her chin in her hands. "Let me guess, when he came back, you conceived Souta?"
Ms. Higurashi chuckled. "Yes, Rin," she stated with a yawn. "He is Souta's father as well."
The young girl shook her head slightly and sat up straight. "I'm confused," she admitted. "If you loved this man so much, why didn't you divorce and remarry? And where is he now?"
A smile fell from her lips. "Oh dear, I had every intention of doing just that. But only a few months after he returned, he was involved in a car accident and died instantly. I never told my husband why I was so depressed the days following a stranger's death or why I seemed so detached from him." Her eye lids drooped as sleep once more dragged her into its depths. It was quite tiring to speak of her past after undergoing such a life-threatening situation. "I wanted to leave my husband, but there would be no possible way for me to care for both Souta and Kagome on my own. So I stayed, and as the years passed, he learned of my affair and was absolutely furious."
She sighed, wondering how Ms. Higurashi had kept a secret for so long and continue to live with a man she didn't care for. Perhaps it was the love for her children that kept her rising each morning. "How does Naraku fit into all of this?" she asked, knowing she was pushing her limits.
"He was my husband's son from his first marriage. Although most don't know it, Naraku is a venomous half-demon who lived only to commit vile acts towards others. It is why I never truly loved him like a son. Although he was a few years older than Kagome, it wasn't until after Souta was born that he moved in. Of course, with such a horrid outlook on life, he had to be held back repeatedly through school. If I guess correctly, he is already nineteen. But he was rarely around. That's probably why Kagome doesn't remember him."
Rin nodded in understanding. She knew the rest of the story, as Sango had mentioned it to her earlier. "I see," she mumbled, the explanation clearing up any questions she might have had.
Ms. Higurashi looked at her through tired eyes. "Rin, now that I have told you of Kagome's father, would you do me a favor?"
"Anything," she promised with a smile.
"Can you tell me what happened to my family?"
Sango glanced at the man across from her, sipping her tea gingerly. It had been almost an hour since they found out Kagome had regained consciousness and they hadn't heard from Inuyasha since. "Do you think she's alright?" she asked, her eyes peering down the hallway which led to their friend's room.
He watched her place her cup down before taking one of her hands in his. "My dearest Sango," Miroku began, a smile on his face. "Kagome is one of the strongest people I know. Physically, she'll be just fine."
"What do you mean?" the brunette asked, swiveling her eyes to his in confusion. She paid no heed to their entwined fingers, focused only on her best friend's health.
The lecher sighed. His expression darkened and his smile vanished. "Her wounds will heal, perhaps only leaving a few scars. My concern is her mentality."
"Her mentality?" Sango echoed, a bewildered look overtaking her facial features. "What do you mean? She's going to go insane?"
He cocked his head to the side, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "Its a possibility. She watched as her father killed her classmates. And if my guess is correct, she believes its all her fault."
She shook her head. "That's silly. Kagome wouldn't feel guilty over something she had no control over."
"Wouldn't she, though?" Miroku retaliated. "Mr. Higurashi was after her. If she hadn't been in detention that day, perhaps her house would have been attacked and only her family harmed. Which is what her father and Naraku wanted in the first place."
"So, you're saying she'll blame herself for the deaths of our classmates because of her father's actions?" He nodded in agreement. "But it isn't her fault!" Sango released his hand and stood up from the table, her eyes blazing. "You can't honestly believe she would subject herself to such nonsense!"
Miroku stood quietly and rounded the table so he was standing beside her, slipping his hands into his jean pockets. "It does not matter what we may say to her. Our words of encouragement and denial will only strengthen her beliefs. She could possibly think that we are only trying to cover up her faults, to shield her from the awful truth."
"But she knows we would never lie to her!" she argued, trying to grasp onto something that would keep Kagome's sanity intact. "We're her friends. If she did something wrong, we'd be the first to tell her." Her vision blurred with tears as they began to slowly spill down her cheeks.
He silently wrapped his arms around her in an embrace, cradling her against his chest to offer comfort. He sighed. "I'm not saying that she will lose her sanity. I'm only trying to look at the possible outcomes that may be just over the horizon."
"But ... but ... " she stuttered, choking on her tears and unable to form a complete sentence. "S-she c-can't do that! Kagome i-is my f-friend. I c-can't lose h-her!" Without another word, Sango's knees buckled beneath her as her cries echoed through the hospital's cafeteria, causing mournful gazes to turn their way. Miroku sat on the tiled floor and held his girlfriend to his chest, his eyes fogged over with unshed tears. There was little hope that Kagome would make it through this. But he wouldn't dare allow her to give up without a fight. As long as he was breathing, along with the rest of her friends, they would not let her slip through their fingers.
The monitors beeped quietly, almost echoing in the small room. A small boy lay in a hospital bed, his eyes closed in sleep. His facial expression spoke of peace and serenity, but beneath that false facade lay a dark truth. Labored breaths came from his lips, slow and hesitant. The air stilled around him. If it weren't for the life-support machines, he would have drowned in silence.
Kagome sat next to him, tears burning the back of her eyes as she gazed at Souta's face. Her hand was entwined with his, rubbing soothing circles in order to bring him some sort of reassurance. It had been several days since she had woken from her unconscious state and a few hours earlier, Dr. Kaede had allowed her to roam around the hospital in order to visit her friends and family. She had exchanged words with her mother just moments ago, speaking of the reason why her father had wanted revenge on them. It hadn't been easy.
"Hey Souta," she spoke softly now, smiling slightly at her younger brother's face. "It's me, Kagome." She wanted him to know she was here, that he needed to come back to her. Dr. Kaede has said that speaking to a comatose patient sometimes helped them recover faster. "I know you want to sleep, but you have to wake up, okay?" she pleaded, her voice thick with tears. "You have to come back to me and mama."
She couldn't bring herself to mention her grandfather's death to the young boy. He needed to listen to hopeful words, not ones that would cause him to stay locked within his mind forever. It was hard to accept the deaths of him and her classmates, but knowing that Souta, her mother, and Hakkaku still had a fighting chance kept her mind busy with hope instead of despair. She needed the distraction.
"You know, last month, I spoke to your school's soccer coach. I persuaded him to let you on the team next year. Me and mama were going to surprise you." She got no response, not even a twitch of his fingers. "And she had you all signed up for camp this summer, too. You want to go see all your friends again, don't you?"
The young woman ran a hand through his hair, stroking it in a gentle manner. "Inuyasha is waiting for you to wake up. He misses someone looking up to him as a hero. He just doesn't want to admit it." She smiled at her spoken thought, bringing her hand to her brother's cheek and cupping it softly.
"Please wake up," she began to beg, a frown marring her lips and tears spilling over her flushed cheeks. "Please, Souta. I need you to wake up." When there was no response, she returned her hand to the bedside and rested her head on the matress. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice muffled by the sheets. "Its all my fault. You got hurt, mama and gramps. Everyone was hurt and its all my fault."
She wept quietly in the hospital room as the machines continued their rhymatic pace, keeping tabs on her brother's heartbeat. His breathing continued slowly, but he never moved or made a sound. He was so far gone into the depths of his mind that she was afraid she wouldn't be able to reach him. "Its all my fault, Souta," she repeated, not caring that the door had opened and Inuyasha had stepped into the room. "Kami, its all my fault."
A/N: Phew! Sorry again for the late update, but for some reason this chapter was giving me some trouble. You can see that its kind of on the long side. That will make up for my lack in updating, won't it? Anyways, I've got the epilogue planned out so it should be up within the next few days. Thanks for sticking by this story so far. Its much appreciated and please review!