AN: Ahh Hello my beautiful cupcakes, LOL. Well anyways, I am so sorry I have not been able to update this story or any others or start a new one. I have been EXTEAMLY busy because it is the end of school, so many things due; planning my trip to California, and many other things. The time I add this it will be probably May 25. So I wrote a lot more on this update. On my computer ( a MacBook ) says 4 pages. I hope it will be that much on here. With school ending in 2 days of when I post this. I will have a lot of time to finally finish this story. Yay! That means new story. I couldn't keep up having to update 3 stories at the same time. I would gladly add this story up today ( May 23 ) but sadly I am at my other home. In a small town. With no Internet connection. Damn. Thanks for reading. Don't forget to read my other stories, and review. I love all my readers! =]
All rights go to Stephenie Meyer. I loveeee her.
Me – Mawahaha. I own Edward.
Meyer – No you don't!
Me – oh yah I do! I bought him off eBay! He is in my room!
* Meyer and I walk to my room. In it stands a cardboard life size Edward Cullen. Though I don't know that. *
Meyer – Stupid, it's CARDBOARD!
Me – in my mind...its real!
Meyer - * rolls eyes *
At first I thought I was dreaming. And if I was, I never wanted to wake.
I felt a rush run through me. But then, I realized.
I didn't feel the cold anymore.
The pain was gone and back again.
Then I panicked. I felt my heart speed up, my breaths shorter and harder. The tears coming back again.
If only they knew how badly I needed them; him.
I felt the whole in my stomach, close a tiny bit. Then was ripped open. Even worse then before.
I wish I could just die.
I felt the tears streaming down my face. Everything was blurry again. I couldn't tell what had just happened. It was too painful to think about.
I was back collapsed on the floor. I felt the nail from the up-right floorboard stab into my leg. I screamed but I didn't have enough power to move. Thank god Charlie had gone to work. The pain in my right leg I eventually got used to. I think I lay there for an hour, maybe even longer. I didn't care. The pain in my leg was not even in close relation to how bad the whole in my stomach hurt now.
After who knows how long. I heard something down stairs. I knew no one was home. So I immediately thought someone broke in.
I carefully stood, not caring about the dried blood on my leg and floor and opened my door silently.
I walked into Charlie's room and grabbed a golf club that was never used. Thinking I could try to attack whom ever it was with it with out falling down.
I slowly walked down the stairs.
I saw someone with bronzed colored hair sitting on the couch staring at the clock.
I froze and gasped, not sure what to do. Was I dreaming again?! Should I say something or yell or cry or ignore him? I felt so pressured.
I felt a tear creep its way down my cheek. Then I remembered my leg. My eyes shot down to my now deep cut on my leg. It didn't hurt, but I didn't know if he would be mad or not able to handle it. But before I could even get the chance to clean the cut, I heard a pain filled voice fill the room.
"Bella?" Edward asked standing slowly.
I only stared at him and nodded. Of course he knew who I was. He was just making sure I was aware of him.
"I am truly sorry. I told you that I or anyone of my family would ever bother you again. But I was just going to get something from our old house and ended up here. I am so sorry." He said.
All while saying this I kept shaking my head. Oh my god. I didn't care if he was here. I was overjoyed. So happy. Shocked mainly though.
I thought he didn't love me. He said he didn't.
He left.
"I just came to apologize. I will leave now. I am truly and deeply sorry for the trouble. Goodbye Bella." He said, but I was shaking my head so roughly and crying that I didn't even make out where he was.
I heard my self-dieing inside then screamed "No. No! NO! You can't leave again! No! Damn it Edward! NO! You can't do this to me again! To Charlie! No Please! Please Edward." I was mumbling the same thing over and over again through my tears. I couldn't help myself though. It was too hard.
He didn't seem to understand though. God was he stubborn. "I'm sorry Bella. I can't. It isn't safe. I can't. I must go." He turned and walked to the door.
I ran and grabbed him and jumped onto his back. I couldn't let him leave me again. "No Edward. Please! PLEASE. No. I need you. No. Edward. Edward no. I can't take it. The pain. It hurts so bad." I choked through my tears. 'Ple-ase. Edwa-rd. I..I can-t. No! The-pain!"
He froze after I said the word pain.
"Pain?" He asked. Having hurt in his voice.
I sobbed through my words. "Ye- yes! The damn pain. Damn it Edward. It-it hurts. Please! For me! Come b-back." I bet I was slurring my words.
"Bella, I left because I didn't want to danger you, me, or my family. I can't come back. Please live your life to its fullest. You deserve better than me. Please be safe. Don't do any thing stupid. This is for Charlie of course again. Now I really must go... Bella! What happened!? " He said looking down at my leg. I just ignored what he asked about my leg. Why would he care. He didn't care about me. He left me.
"Edward! Please no. I love you. Oh well about my leg! I love you so much. More than I should. More than you ever had said to be loving me. But please don't leave again! You don't have to love me! I don't care! I am surprised I can even refer to you or your family by their names now. Not by them or him. " I screamed at him.
He looked confused and in pain.
"Bella, I wish I could. I truly wish I could. It has been hard for me also. But it isn't safe and who said I didn't love you?"
"You did! I don't give a shit if it isn't safe. I know you would never hurt me!" I screeched.
"Bella, my Bella. I do love you. I love you more than I should. I was lying. I am sorry for that. My kind needs to be good liars. To hide the truth. I can't test my limits with you. Or with anyone. I could never live with myself if I hurt you. I can't be around you. I must now really go. Please get off of me Bella."
Don't care! You are not leaving me! Not again! We can work this out. Please. I love you Edward. I love you. I love you so much! I can't go on longer without you!" I didn't care.
"Try. You are alive still. That's all that matters." He said with a stern voice.
"Barely!" I said going to let the water works start again.
I clenched his shirt tighter, then he finally gave up and took is shirt off lowering me down to the floor still holding on to it with dear life.
"Goodbye Bella. I love you." Edward said walking out. I collapsed to the floor. The whole was being ripped by its little stitches wide open. Even deeper then before. I held his shirt up to my face breathing in my scent. Then stopped thinking if I did, the sent would leave the shirt. I stayed and cried on the floor and hugging the shirt in till Charlie came in and gasped.
"Bells! What's wrong! What happened? Who hurt you?" He asked kneeling next to me and trying to help me up. He didn't even take off his gun or jacket yet.
"Nothing! Edward. Go away!" I shouted at him and running...well more like stumbling up the stairs, in to my room. I slammed the door and laded on my bed. I held the shirt up to my face and laid my head on it. I fell asleep after a while. I had the same dream night after night. The flashback. Again, I woke screaming and this time I was shaking and crying. Charlie burst through the door and yelled, "That's it Bella! We are taking you to the doctors, the hospital. Anywhere! I can't take it."
Charlie picked me up. I was still holding the shirt. Charlie tried to claw the shirt out of my hands I but yanked it away and screamed still crying my eyes out, "No! It's Edwards! No!"
He gave up and carried me to his cruiser. Placed me in the back and drove to the hospital. It was the same exact hospital that Carlisle worked at. How was I expected to forget them if everything in this stupid town reminded me of them. My eyes where still wet from crying so much.
Some nurse brought me a wheelchair and put me in it, while trying to take the shirt away. I only held it tighter and screamed. Why was everyone trying to take everything I have ever had, away from me!?
The next thing I new I was in a bed; eating, and hooked up to a million different wires and needles. I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit.
I don't know what I was turning into. I was becoming a monster. I didn't want to do anything. Or eat anything. It was just that the pain was becoming unbearable.
After a while I fell asleep to the sound of my broken heart, surprisingly, slowly beating. Breaking even more with each second that passed.
Ahh, read the Authors Note up top!
I NEED ideas. I don't know how to end this with out making it a 65-chapter story!!!!
I would like the ending to be sweet, though sad. And this story not to go out of the limits of 'New Moon.' Thanks a million and one! =D