I guess the hospital thought I was insane. Well hell they would be too, if they have been through what I have been through.
I woke to Charlie and Rene talking. I am guessing he called her. But I didn't want either of them here. Its not like they could help. Then I saw someone walk into my room. My heart stopped. Jacob. He was the last person I wanted to see. Not after what happened when Edward left. Him, trying to hit on me. Great. Which I limitedly turned down. I had no intention of liking him that way. Yah, I guess you could say I "liked" him when I first met him in who-know-how-many-years. But that was before I even had heard the name Edward Cullen. I was foolish then, as I put it.
"Hey Bells, you doin better?" Jacob asked walking to stand by my bed.
I just looked at him and shrugged. "Do I look ok too you?" I asked.
"Well no but..." He said, before I cut him off.
"Then there's your answer." I said before turning to lie on my side.
I would of stayed on my side if it wasn't for the buzzer going off when I did. Damn buzzer. I was forced to lay his lay. Joy.
"Uh I was wondering, when you're out of here and better and stuff. If maybe you wanted to come to my place with your dad. I don't know hang?" He asked me.
"I don't know. I don't think I want too. I doubt they will let me out of here, and if they do its probably to send me to a mental hospital or something." I said.
I was fine. Well in general. If I didn't think about them, then I was ok. But it was so hard not too.
"Oh ok. But if you change your mind. Just tell me." He said before leaving.
"Ill sure to get right on that." I said sarcastically.
Jacob walked out and Charlie followed him. Then Rene came and sat down on my bed rubbing my arm.
"Hi baby, how are you?" She asked cautiously. I guess she saw how I was talking to Jacob.
"I'm fine mom. I missed you. How's Florida?" I asked.
She smiled " Its great. I missed you also honey. I'm just worried about you."
"Why are you worried about me?" I said.
"Well Charlie told me. Well everyone had told me since I got here. That Edward and his family left and that it has been extra tough on you. I just want you to be happy. I don't like seeing you this way." Rene said putting her hand on my fist.
Edward POV.
I hated myself. For many reasons. But mainly for leaving Bella. For hurting her. For coming back and hurting her even more. For not being there to catch her before she fell. Or to stop her before what ever happened that caused her leg to be cut. I hated myself.
I was outside of town two minutes after I left Bella, again. I up-rooted two and a half trees in my anger for leaving. I went back to my old home to get my old music collection that I seem to have forgotten to pick up before we left.
I walked through the forest by the house. When I heard Charlie saying to Bella that he had enough and was taking her to the hospital. The only hospital was the one Carlisle had worked at. Before I knew it I was outside Bella's hospital room. I saw Jacob talking to her. She didn't seem happy. Then Rene was talking to her.
"I don't know mom. I'm sorry. I hate anyone seeing me this way. It's just so hard. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Bella said. Her voice cracking. I new she was going to start crying. That's what her voice did before she cried. It was adorable. But it was pain to see her unhappy.
"Bella, baby. It is not your fault. Its ok honey. Shh, just calm down. Just breathe." Rene said hugging Bella tight. Then I saw Rene's shirt soaked from Bella's tears. I wanted to be Rene. To be the one hugging Bella. Getting her shirt soaked from my angel's tears. Which I wanted to kiss away. I hated myself.
Bella sobbed and sobbed into Rene. I was horrible. She was crying. Over me. No one ever should cry over me. I am a monster. A horrible creature.
A while later Bella fell asleep and everyone said their goodbyes and 'See you tomorrow" and when home. Charlie and Rene where the only ones left except the night crew.
"I think it is best that we let her sleep. May I spend the night at my old home?" Rene asked Charlie.
"You may." Charlie said taking Rene by the arm and taking her back to his house.
I went to the front of the hotel and sneaked my way to Bella's room.
Sorry for disturbing you while reading...but i have to apologize. I put of the Sneak peak of chapter 6. and labeled it "Sneak peak of chapter 5. THIS CHAPTER YOU ARE READING IS CHAPTER 5. I am SOOO sorry for the confusion. PLEASE forgive me! I am writing right now, chapter 6. so when you end chapter 4 and read this no...it will make more sense, haha. Ahh my bad! =]
Bella POV.
After an exhausting day I fell asleep. Not having the same dream. Thank god for meds.
I woke in the middle of the night. To find the bronze hair sitting in the bed next to me. My eyes widened. Then I got mad. More then mad. Pissed.
"What do you think you're doing here!?" I screamed quietly.
No answer. I was just getting pissed off more.
"Will you answer me!? Why are you here!" I said again. A little louder. Thinking he couldn't hear me. Of course he could hear me!
"I'm sorry I couldn't stay away. I'm sorry." He said. I couldn't even see his face.
"Please. I can't see you. Come here. Please Edward." I said almost begging.
He stood and walked at human pace to the end of my bed. "Thank you." I said.
"Anything, please tell me why you are upset." He said. Either he was just plain stupid. Or he wanted to hear it from me. Or both.
"You know. You aren't stupid." I said calming down.
"Yes. I want to hear it from you." Edward said. Aha! I knew it.
"The pain, you, Alice, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, even Rosalie. I miss you. I love you. You left. You left me. You left me because you thought it was 'un-safe,' " I said putting up little air quotes with my fingers. " You lied to me. You said you loved me. Then you said that you did love me. It's so confusing. I just want you to come back. To be with me. I love you Edward Cullen. I love you so much. I told you this before. Everyday before you left..." I trailed off.
He sighed and sat down on the chair next to the bed while taking my hands in his.
"I do love you. I am sorry I left you. It's for the best. But now that I have come back twice. I am just going to hate myself more if I leave agai-"
I cut him off. "NO! You are not leaving! No no-"
But before I could he cut me off. "I am not leaving you." He said leaning up and kissing my forehead then pressing his forehead up against mine.
I felt two tears fall down my cheek. Then they where gone. I felt his soft cold lips kissing them away. God did I miss him. Then I did something stupid.
I grabbed his hair and yanked his lips to mine. It lasted under two seconds. Then his lips where gone. His hands where off mine. I couldn't even see him.
"Edward!" I screeched.
"Edward please! Don't leave! I'm sorry! I didn't mean too. I knew better. I'm sorry." I was crying again.
"Shh Bella, its ok. I know you're sorry. I don't blame you. I enjoyed it. I did. I just can't loose control." Edward said back at my side again brushing the tears away.
"I'm sorry. Please don't leave." I said again.
"I know I am not leaving you Bella. I need you to understand that. I just wish I could be around you in till you are out of here. Charlie wouldn't be happy about that. He already wants to have me killed because I hurt you. And I agree with him."
"No. What are you saying? I will never have him hurt you." I reassured him.
He smiled and kissed my cheek. The even beating of my heart sped up, which made him smile bigger. "Bella, my Bella, my angel. Please try to sleep. I will be here when you wake."
I smiled and moved over on the bed. He got the hint and slid on top of the blanket and I pressed myself into his chest, as close as he let me. This was so normal for me. I missed these days. I fell asleep peacefully. Nervous about the next day.
I was going to have to explain to Charlie why I should be able to go home and why.
He didn't know Edward was back.
Ahh...cliffs. Don't fall! Haha. OK so I got bored after watching a movie Sunday night so I wrote some. I edited this for a half hour. This chapter is one of my worse. So I added Edwards POV in it, hoping it would be at least a little better. During this I had an interesting convo with meeranda...about a song and coffee. I am lost in it. =D
Hahaha.
Review and Edward might go to you house. You know you want to.