A Father's Hate Chapter 7, a ncis fanfic

Ziva walked into the apartment complex and began climbing the stairs to the third floor where Tony's residence was. She sighed as she reached his number and opened the door without bothering to knock. The warmth of his apartment quickly embraced her pulling her from the cold, poorly lit hallway. She set her bag down on the kitchen counter but made no move to take off her coat, still recovering from the below freezing weather outside. Her eyes darted around the room searching for him but finding no one. She had not seen his car in its usual parking spot but had not thought much of it, perhaps he just stopped somewhere before coming home. She took the opportunity to look around. She had been at his apartment many times before, they usually alternated back when they used to have their frequent movie nights, but she never had the chance to really look at it.

It was messy yet in a neat way and she could tell that he had been in a rush this morning since the milk and frosted flakes box were still out. Ziva laughed, only Tony would have the family sized box of frosted flakes. She looked in at the bedroom which she had previously only caught glances of. There wasn't anything spectacular or special about it. It was your average bachelor's bedroom. Scattered clothes, unmade bed, box of pizza on the bedside table, wait no, that was average Tony. On his table next to the pizza there was the picture of Abby he had up in his room back on the ship, there was also one of the pictures of her in the bikini which she had figured he still had. He had one of the whole gang, including Jenny, that had been taken under mandatory reasons. Ziva took notice of the way Abby's eyes showed there usual joy, the way McGee was partly blocked, how Ducky looked as though he had been talking when the picture was shot. Gibbs looked liked his usual self only more unhappy since he was forced to have his picture taken, Palmer was only half in the picture since he had been at the edge of the lineup. She had to blink back a few tears as she looked at Jenny who was laughing at something someone had told her, she didn't look like the director but more so a part of the family that they had created. She saw how Tony had his arm around her own waist. Ziva found it surprising that she didn't remember that, she didn't even remember a good portion of the day that the picture had been taken.

She changed her line of vision from the pictures on his bedside table to the ones on his dresser. There were only three, the first she recognized as Paula Cassidy Ziva had nearly forgotten about her but when she saw the picture she remembered that day, that moment, she suddenly remembered a whole lot. The next was of Jenny smiling, looking happy and so alive, Ziva wondered how long she knew she was dying before she gave her life up to protect them. The next was of someone Ziva had known of yet never had the chance or the privilege to meet, it was of Special Agent Kate Todd. She's very pretty, was one of Ziva's first thoughts. The next was of how she died, it was from the man who was supposed to of been her brother, the man who had previously been her hero, the man she had killed. Ari was still a frequent visitor to her thoughts, sometimes it was of when they were younger and happier, when he would protect her and look out for her. Other times it was of when he was older how angry he got after his mother died, after their father killed her. She would remember what a monster he became, and then she would remember the words she had heard him say that day in Gibbs' basement, the ones that revealed questionable truths to her. Questions which she was beginning to find her own answers in.

Ziva had always wanted to know more about the special agent. She had heard mentions of her and she remembered the night of which she had gone down to Abby's lab only to find the usual peppy and happy forensic scientist curled up in a corner with Burt held close to her. Abby's mascara had turned into black streaks and her hair was in pig tails even though earlier that day it had been in two braids. When Ziva had approached her and asked her as to why she was so distraught Abby informed her of what had happened exactly one year ago; of the phone call she had received and how it had been the last time she ever got to see her best friend. Abby told Ziva that night of exactly why she didn't like Ziva when she originally came to NCIS and then continuously apologized sobbing all the harder. They had then sat there for well over an hour. Ziva was surprised that no one had been down there, especially Gibbs since he was always the one who would come and sit and comfort Abby. Then she remembered that everyone was affected by this day that everyone had lost a partner and even more, a friend. Ziva remembered that day and it became tradition for her and Abby to sit in that same spot. The second year Abby had cried but not the third or the fourth, those years they were silent and Ziva even wondered if Abby even wanted her there but that was quickly answered when Abby told her how glad she was that Ziva came every year even though one year they weren't even supposed to be at work.

Ziva had always wondered about Kate but she never asked. If her name was brought up she would listen intently and would register the looks everyone seemed to have. Sadness, happiness, and pain. Ziva always felt sad about what had happened to Kate but then felt such happiness that the result of it had brought her to where she found her peace. She would hate herself for such selfish thoughts, such terrible truths.

Ziva walks out of the bedroom and over to Tony's famous DVD collection. There are hundreds of DVDs stacked against the wall next to the television. Everything from the original King Kong to the I Love Lucy DVD box sets to the third or fourth remake of The Incredible Hulk, along with all of it's predecessors of course. She spots Spiderman and slides it out of it's slot examining it.

The door opens and she looks over at Tony who has a pizza in one hand and microwavable popcorn in the other. "Make yourself at home why don't you," Tony says when he sees Ziva sitting on the couch Spiderman in hand and her coat off and bag placed on the counter.

"It sure took you an awful long time to get a pizza," Ziva comments. She had been there well over ten minutes and she had stopped at her place before to pickup her things.

"Yeah well I was half way home with the pizza when I remembered I was out of popcorn so I had to go back," Tony explains. "You can't watch a classic like Spiderman without popcorn."

Ziva gives a nod, her eyebrows slightly raised. She makes her way into the kitchen and opens the cupboards searching for something.

"I know I said to make yourself at home but you could just ask." She finds what she wants and pulls it out of the cupboard along with two glasses. Tony gets a glance at what it is, whiskey. "You trying to seduce me?" Tony asks and sets down the pizza and popcorn on the counter next to the sink.

Ziva walks close to him, so close she can feel his breath on her face. "I do not think it would take any alcohol to seduce you, Tony," she says with a sly smile. She twists off the cap of the two-thirds full bottle of whiskey and pours herself a glass taking a small sip. "We are going to watch a movie, yes?" she says and walks over to the couch, taking her drink and a slice of pizza with her.

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Of course neither of them had stayed awake for the whole movie, Ziva barely stayed awake through the opening credits. So once again they crashed on the couch, Ziva's feet curled up on the side next her, her head resting on Tony's chest who had his feet up on the coffee table and head slumped to the side. Tony opened his eyes slightly and noticed that Ziva was no longer next to him and that the TV had been turned off. He sat up and looked around and he saw her sitting at the table, glass of whiskey in hand. He watched as she tipped the cup back taking a long pull from it, he watched her eyes how they were shut tight as she drank and would open when she set it down. She looked at the empty cup in her hand and frowned she then picked up the whiskey bottle and poured a good amount more, her hand shaking so much that some misses the cup in the process. Ziva lifts the cup up to her lips again and takes more to drink than it looks like she can handle but she somehow swallows it all. Her breathing is heavy, he notes, and it looks as though she could just start sobbing at any second. She doesn't though, he can almost see thoughts racing through her mind and he watches as a pained expression crosses her face and then she picks the glass up again draining all of the liquid that was left in it.

Tony wants to say something, tell her everything is alright, but he doesn't. Tony wants to do something, pull her close to him and let her cry if she wants to, but he doesn't. He watches.

Ziva looks over at him and notices that he is awake. Her eyes linger on him and then her eyes linger on his; not moving not hiding anything, talking so she doesn't have to. "He is trying to kill me," Ziva says quietly and then laughs. "He is trying to murder me!" She says this loudly as if proclaiming it and laughs more. Tony notes that even though she is extremely drunk her words are barely slurring. She picks up the whiskey and pours another glass full and then drinks a good portion of it. "My father, the one who raised me and taught me everything I know. The one who taught me how to kill!" Ziva tells him. "The one who taught me how to kill is trying to kill me. That is funny, yes?" she says and laughs again as though someone has just told a particularly funny joke. Another drink. "Because I know too much! I know what he is going to do," she laughs all while she talks. Like her laughing is her breathing.

"Besides kill me that is. He wants to bomb them!" Ziva says pointing her finger in a random direction and then slapping it back down on the table. Another drink. "And I, I know that, and I will tell. I can not tell if I am dead though. So I need to tell before I am so that he doesn't blow everyone up like Tali." Ziva rarely mentions Tali or Ari or her mother or her father but tonight she does not even know the words she is saying, the truths she is revealing. Another drink. The glass is empty. She pours more. "I know why you did this now," she says taking a drink and laughing. The laugh causes some to spill from her mouth and onto the table. Tony watches her, his heart breaking as he listens to everything she has been keeping inside, all the secrets she couldn't reveal no matter how desperately she wanted to. "He was right," she whispers and he sees her blinking back tears. Even in a drunken state Ziva David will not show her tears. "Ari was right." It is as though she is confessing this to herself. "Our father is nothing but a bastard and a monster." A tear finds its way down her cheek and then another. Soon she is silently crying. Ziva does not even seem to be aware of this though.

Tony's heart breaks even more as he watches her drink more trying to get rid of the feeling that are so clearly written in her eyes. All the pain, anger, hurt, sadness, she wants to forget it all. Drink every bit of it away. Tony knows what that's like, how she feels. It never worked for him. He may have forgotten about Jenny but never about her, the one who sat a few yards away from him. He watches as the strongest person he has ever known, next to Gibbs, breaks down. Ziva does not break down; she gets angry, she snaps back at everyone, but Ziva David does not break down.

Tony notices that she is shivering, she doesn't seem to be aware of it thought. Tony, unlike Ziva, doesn't have a blanket just laying around so he slowly gets up and walks over to her and carefully pulls her to her feet. He keeps an arm wrapped around her and guides her to the bedroom laying her down on the bed and covering her with blanket that was rumpled in the corner of his unmade bed. Tony lays down next to her and just holds her hand. He listens as she begins to snore, even louder due to the alcohol. But Tony does not sleep he just wonders how her own father could kill her. How her own father was betraying not only his alliances but his daughter. Tony couldn't let that happen, he couldn't let someone murder her, not Ziva.

Well the secret's out. I hope that this chapter was okay. I had a bit of a hard time writing it and I just hope I was able to keep them in character. Please review and let me know what you thought. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter :)