Now presenting the most sophisticated woman alive: Ra'Zara.
Fuck yeah! 100 Reviews! *Confetti, fireworks, streamers, noisemakers; all that shit*
I'm so fucking happy! Chase! Get in here and say something to your fans!
"Help us! She's crazy! She keeps us locked in cages and drags us to her boring job to write on her breaks! Worse: She only has one book in her car. I've read Marlfox 51 times!"
Lying little...this punk's dressing room is bigger than my house.
"It's definitely bigger than my dressing room."
"Mine, too."
Donald, Douglas: Shut the fuck up. No one asked you.
"And when are we getting those cupcakes you promised last week?!"
Adam -
"And I remember you saying something about us going to Europe."
"I've always wanted to go to Paris!"
Leo, Miss Tasha: You're not going to Paris on my meager funding!
"Why does Bree have shiny things when I don't?!"
Damn it, Oly, just go steal them!
"Stay away from my things, imp!"
"I'll help you keep her away, if Master lets me."
*Repeatedly slams her head into the desk.* Damn it, Chase! You riled them up!
"Mua ha ha ha ha!"
Well, I have to go shoot everyone with a tranquilizer gun.
"What?! Everyone, scatter!"
Crap.
Well, while I hunt them down: Thanks for all your reviews. :D I'm feeling the e-love! Hybrid wouldn't be here without ya'll! I'd just get bored and leave it to write something else gnawing at me. I have the attention span of a squirrel sometimes. :3
gg18000: Let's explore that. *Writes chapter seventeen* ...You might be on to something there...*Starts building an anti-Adam bunker*
AllAmericanSlurp: Normal parents: "Stop or you're grounded!"
Douglas: "Quit your shit or I'll pet your ears!"
DisneyXDGirl: :3 Eddy amuses me.
StealthySerpentineShadows: Isn't KAB entertaining? :D
Beverlie4055: A) Thank you. B) You're exactly review #100! Yay! (::) There's a cookie. :3
Vampire Girl: Dear God! Did her Majesty step on your kitten or something?!
Okay, caught everyone now. Anyways, with the reaching of 100 reviews, I decided to do something fun!
So stay tuned after the chapter for details! 'Make sure you read the bottom before you review!'
Sadly, this chapter is mostly filler. :(. But it's here.
Meanwhile, you're the only one not sleeping at the moment, Evil Voice. Would you do the honors?
"Zara does not own Lab Rats or anything you recognize. If you don't recognize it, it's probably hers."
No quotes today. This is written on my iPod, and finding them is complicated enough without fighting Siri and Safari. Sorry.
Chapter Seventeen - Con Artist
Leo
"Oh, what about this?" Adam began. Everyone either rolled their eyes or groaned, including Leo. Well, almost everyone. Oly, Yahn and Chase were all ears, staring at Adam eagerly like he was about to reveal the secrets of the universe to them. "Hear me out," he protested, glaring at everyone. "What if we put a sign on the gate for an evil meeting? This Lovett guy will show up, and we can grab him. Especially if we offer free snacks." Adam held his arms wide, grinning like he had just saved the day.
Douglas looked ready to smack his eldest son to see if it would knock common sense into him. Leo literally dropped his head to the table with a sigh. Bree and Tasha just stared at him, pitying expressions on their faces. Mr. Davenport was pinching the bridge of his nose. Chase, however...
"That's an awesome idea!"
Yahn, who was sitting in Adam's lap, nodded vigorously while Oly started jumping up and down excitedly on the table. "It's perfect! It's so simple that it has to work!" she declared.
"Guys, he wants to post a sign advertising an evil meeting and hope Lovett comes," Bree sighed, shooting them a look.
Chase blinked several times before wrinkling his nose. "Wait, that's not a good idea."
"Seriously, why would you do that, you idiot?" Oly sniffed, crossing her arms.
"Adam, he won't come," Yahn said more gently, patting Adam's hand. "He doesn't like meetings."
Adam furrowed his brow and was quiet for a second before he slowly nodded. "Makes sense."
Leo resisted the urge to roll his eyes as the demonic trio nodded with Adam. The more time Chase, Oly and Yahn spent around him, the more entranced they became, as if they were slowly growing drunk, one can of beer at a time. In fact, where Chase and Oly had disagreed with Adam when the family conference kicked off that morning, they and Yahn had now approved a total of four ideas Adam had put forth, the most intelligent of which was the most recent. Leo could tell that the whole "Charmer" thing that Douglas explained the day before was going to get out of hand at some point.
Because it was Adam, and even if he was a half-watt short of a candle, he was good at turning things to his advantage if he had the free time to think of how to do so.
"You know, if these three are agreeing with Adam," Douglas pointed out, "then it's probably time to take a break until they clear their heads."
"At least we agree on something today," Mr. Davenport mumbled. The two had been poking holes in each other's ideas on where and when Lovett's and Krane's plan was going down and what could possibly be done about it - often with entertaining reasoning such as "that would get us at least three misdemeanors and a felony charge" or "might as well invite them over for a tea party and politely ask them to surrender" - all morning. And while they seemed to be getting along over the past two days, there was no shortage of tension in the air when it came to Douglas being allowed to stay in the house rather than outside on a leash, where Leo thought the man belonged.
Douglas might be on their side now, but would that change?
At the moment, no one bothered to bring that up. It seemed like a small detail floating in the wake of Krane's plotting. But Leo was sure as hell thinking it. Just because Chase trusted the guy didn't mean he did.
By her edgy demeanor all morning - she'd gotten the express privelage of sitting beside Douglas - Bree agreed.
Tasha frowned. "What do you mean, 'clear their heads'? They still seem reasonably fine."
Leo had agreed with his mother when he saw this the first time yesterday, as she was now; she'd had to do a "hard-hitting report" on the dangers of undercooked meat the day before. Although agreeing with Adam, all three had seemed to be perfectly coherent.
But they weren't. Not completely.
Douglas sighed. "Hey, Chase? Can you do me a favor?" Chase looked at him, his cat ears perked up. "Can you recite the alphabet backwards?"
Chase grinned. Leo had found out on the first day he ever met Chase that the genius could say the English alphabet backwards without stopping. He was very proud of that little trick, even if a lot of others could do it. Adam and Bree couldn't, making the feat unique to him in comparison. "'Z'..."
As he trailed off, Chase frowned and laid his ears back.
"Wait, wait: 'Z'...then...Then 'y'..." Trying to concentrate, Chase furrowed his brow and sat back in his chair. After a few long seconds, slight mortification crossed his face. "Yeah; it's time for a break," he declared, standing up and walking away from the table.
Not wanting to be left behind, Oly jumped down to the floor and ran after him. "Don't leave me with this silver-tongued bastard, damn it!" Tasha snapped out a warning about the language, but Chase and Oly were out the front door before she finished.
Bree frowned. "Where are they going this time?"
Douglas shrugged. "Who cares? They'll be back."
Leo resisted the urge to remind Douglas that he had panicked when Chase was "missing" the night before last. Of course, Eddy hadn't been out in the alleyway.
Then again, Douglas had run about a mile injured to "save" Chase, too, so Leo grudgingly cut the guy a little slack. Like, barely any. No one knew what said injury was, anyways, because no matter how many times Davenport asked - and no matter how obvious it was that he was in severe pain sometimes - Douglas always denied that something was wrong. Some sort of pride thing. For all they knew, he could be overexaggarating a paper cut.
"They better hurry," Adam muttered, appearing malcontent at the loss of his backers while rubbing Yahn's ears.
"I'll be happy if we just avoid a repeat of yesterday," Davenport sighed. Leo found his eyes drawn to the deformed spoon - shaped scorch mark that was now a permanent stain on the kitchen counter. Chase had demonstrated that he could create fire by melting a spoon, and Leo had lost five dollars.
Tasha didn't think it was a nice trick, but Leo sure did.
The door flew open. Chase bolted into the room - dragging a confused Oly by her arm - and slammed it shut, releasing her. His eyes panicked, Chase leaned against the door, his ears pinned and tail lashing, his arms thrown wide as if to hold back a flood. Oly started poking his leg. "What the hell, Half-Breed?"
"What's wrong?!" Davenport asked instantly while everyone stared.
Chase gave a one - word answer: "Perry."
Chase
Sometimes, you just know your day's going to suck.
Usually - for me, anyways - it involved the arrival of Wicked Witch of the West's more badass aunt: Principle Terry Perry.
I mean, there I was with Oly, sitting on the doorstep and reciting the alphabet backwards multiple times until I wasn't hesitating or forgetting letters anymore - By the way, Adam was a serious head trip; I found out that he was like catnip for demons - and freaking Perry had to go and ruin it!
Upon seeing her in a new red convertible at the gate, I decided to be the warning bell. If we hurried, maybe we could take cover! I seriously expected us to go down to the Lab and wait it out for a few days, just in case she brought a tent again.
But Oly, Douglas, and Yahn slowed our evacuation with questions.
"What's a 'Perry'?" Douglas asked, frowning.
"I'd like to know why it warranted me being dragged inside," Oly added.
"School principle," I explained. Good god, I did not want to see her. I pointed at Yahn and Oly even as I was making my appearance human. "You have to hide."
Mr. Davenport sighed and pulled out his checkbook, muttering about exploitation while Oly and Yahn changed forms themselves. Oly turned into a white cockiteil and flew to land on Douglas' shoulder while Yahn vanished into some kind of small insect, no doubt. A gnat or a fly, I was guessing. "So why are you scared of this woman? And why are you writing a check?" Douglas went on, still confused.
"She knows about our bionics," Bree explained. "We had to save her life." She rolled her eyes. "Stupid electric wires."
"And now," Tasha continued, "she's exploiting it for money."
"Smart lady," Douglas responded.
I almost got out a smart-assed response to that, but the door flew open, effectively throwing me to the side like a ragdoll. Rude much? I caught myself before I fell over and suddenly found papers shoved nonchalantly against my chest without her once looking at me.
Douglas did not look happy about that.
"I went through your mail, Don," Perry declared, her raspy voice grating against my eardrums. "Nothing entertaining."
Tuning out the no-doubt incredulous reaction of Davenport and Tasha, I looked down at the papers in my hands. Sure enough, they were torn envelopes and unfolded letters. It was mainly junk or business, but one did stand out to me.
A letter printed on parchament, a lovely gold border around the edges.
An obvious invitation, if I ever saw one. It was asking Tasha to do a report on the opening of some new government building - sounded dull - but the part that stood out was the part that shouldn't have been there. Especially in that kind of letter.
We wish to get families more involved in politics, so we encourage you to bring yours.
Red flag! Red flag! Major red flag! Families were rarely invited as a whole to a reporting thing-a-ma-jig.
I had to bite back an exclamation of discovery. We might have gained a new lead!
I was snapped from my semi-hopeful thoughts by the sight of Perry poking Douglas in the chest. Poor guy; he just couldn't catch a break with his ribs.
No pun intended.
"Who are you?" Perry asked. "The family pedophile?"
Don't pick that fight, Perry; he's already pissed at you...
"I'm that one uncle no one likes to talk about," Douglas answered calmly. "I'd just love to waste my third strike on you."
Don't respond, don't respond -
"You're only on your third strike?"
I tried to save her. You all saw me! Time to sit back and enjoy it!
"I'm on my fourth," Perry gloated, grinning.
Douglas gave a wicked smile. "What did you have to bribe the judge with to get out that time?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing a few faces to redden and some muffled snickering from Leo and Bree, but none more than Perry's.
Perry huffed. "I've never -"
"That explains why you're so uptight," Douglas interrupted smoothly. This time, I had to bite my fist to keep in a less-than-manly giggling fit. Oly hid her beak under her wing, Leo and Davenport were using both of their hands to cover their mouths, and Bree had to speed out of the room. Adam just frowned with confusion while Tasha looked mortified and ready to kill at the same time.
Perry gaped for a few seconds before, upon failing to think of a comback, she punched his shoulder - he rubbed it a bit, but was still wearing his shit-eating grin - and started walking back towards the door, her check in hand. However, she stopped just outside the door and pulled out a wrinkled twenty dollar bill. "Got change for this, Lady Locks?" she asked me, obviously going for an "easier" target.
Game on.
I laid the mail down on the floor and fished around in my pocket, finally producing some money. "I have fourteen dollars and twelve cents. And this," I said, quickly scooping up a useless cat figurine from beside the couch, "is about six dollars." I smiled. "Don't worry, though: I can do money magic. Bionic talent and all." As I spoke very rapidly, I took and gave her the corresponding amounts. "I'll give you the fourteen and the cat. Now, you give me eleven back. Okay, now here's $5.12 for you. Let me see the cat. Here's another two dollars. Now you give me your $30.12. And here's the cat!" I pushed the figurine into her hands before slamming the door shut, locking it.
It took a solid ten seconds for her to realize what just happened. Howling with rage, she started banging on the door. "Eddy, get her out of here," I hissed.
"Yay!" The program cheered, showing up on screen. I rolled my eyes. He loved to send people packing.
As Perry's attempt to break down the door abruptly stopped, I scooped up the mail again. In the dining area, Douglas started laughing and clapping, a one-man sitting ovation. Mr. Davenport found his voice after a second. "I thought you didn't -"
"I didn't know he could do that," Douglas defended immediately. "Don't blame me. He learned it somewhere else. By the way, that was nicely done," he complimented.
Unable to resist, I gave a bow.
Adam started poking Leo. "What just happened?"
Leo - who had been staring at me with wide eyes like I was a miniature Krane - pointed at me. "Did you just...He just took Perry for twenty bucks!"
I shrugged, assuming that we'd just drop it now, and opened my mouth to draw attention the suspicious letter I was holding when Tasha - sweet, sweet, oh-so-terrifying mother of mine - turned her full wrath on Douglas and I.
It was a very dark, loud, angry blur.
People may tell you that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but trust me: They've never incurred the wrath of Tasha Davenport.
Sucky ending, but it was getting long. Can't give ya'll the whole story all at once. ;)
Besides, it's time for my 100 reviews fun thing.
Chase got a lot of demon powers.
Adam can charm demons.
So guess who came to me and asked for another ability, too?
Miss Bree.
It seemed fair, but I couldn't decide on what.
So you, my fine review trolls, get to take a crack at it.
Suggest an ability for Bree. We'll pick the two we like the most and list them next chapter so you can vote.
Bree will love you forever. :3
Anyways, with Perry sent packing, I better roll out as well.
Enjoy.
*Bows and exits*