Keroro Gunso
Keroro – What Would YOU Do For a Klondike Bar? …de arimasu.
Author's Note: Hi! BMNC here! Um... okay. This chapter is kinda weird. I came up with the idea late at night while watching T.V. on a sugar rush, and I set the idea, and once I started, I couldn't really figure out where to start and all my friends thought this chapter was too long. So... unless you have a lot of time to spare... ...yeah okay. I'm gonna let you read now. (walks off, whistling Kero to Machi!)
Keroro had never done his chores at this speed before. He knew that if he didn't get down to the base in five minutes that Giroro would surely have some sort remark about him being late all the time. Maybe even Raido would say something. After all, Raido appeared to have better potential for leadership. Keroro scrubbed furiously at the floors. The last spot had been cleaned off.
He wiped his forehead and got up to get to the base.
"Stupid frog," a voice said abruptly. He froze.
"Natsumi-dono…?" he asked quietly. Natsumi approached him.
"Did you even clean the house? You went so quickly…" she remarked.
"I-I cleaned…" Keroro said honestly. Natsumi picked him up by his head and walked around the house slowly, inspecting all the places that he had cleaned.
Keroro grew worried. He was already very late at this point; if Natsumi found a spot that he inadvertently neglected, he'd be kept even longer. He prayed that he didn't miss anything.
At one point, Natsumi ran her finger along a side table suspiciously. Keroro felt his heart stop. Natsumi inspected her finger for dust, but she couldn't seem to locate even a fraction of a particle.
"Well… I guess you did do a pretty good job," she said finally. Keroro felt relief wave over his entire body.
"Eh, yeah. Um, thanks," he muttered. Natsumi began to walk towards the kitchen, "W-What are you doing? We already checked the kitchen; you said I did a good job!" The young Pekoponian girl went in front of the refrigerator and put him down. She opened the fridge.
Keroro immediately grew excited. When Natsumi opened the fridge after he did a good job, she was usually rewarding him with the fruit he loved most – Star fruit. He held out his hands gratefully.
However, to Keroro's sheer disappointment, Natsumi placed a frigid aluminum square-shaped object in his hand. It wasn't Gunpla, it wasn't money, and it most certainly wasn't Star fruit. What kind of gratitude was this?
"Uh… what happened to the Star fruit?" Keroro asked curiously.
"The store was out last time I checked," Natsumi replied, "What's wrong?" Keroro stared at the square. It read, "Klondike Bar" on the front and had a Polar bear on it.
"What is it?" Keroro asked. Natsumi looked alarmed.
"You don't know what a Klondike Bar is?" she asked.
"I'm an alien, not a genius," Keroro said.
"Obviously. A Klondike Bar is kind of like a chocolate coated ice cream bar. They're a big hit in America apparently. Try it," Natsumi said. Keroro hesitantly bit it. It tasted like aluminum.
"Americans like the taste of aluminum?! What the heck is wrong with them? I suppose they eat soup cans and gum wrappers too?!" Keroro howled.
Natsumi stared at him.
"You're supposed to unwrap it, stupid frog," she said exasperatedly.
"Oh. I knew that," Keroro sweatdropped, unwrapping the frozen treat. He took a bite.
It suddenly occurred to Keroro that Klondike Bars were probably one of the most amazing things he had ever tasted.
"WHOA! That's a Klondike Bar?! AMAZUHZUHZING!" he squealed.
"You've never seen the commercials on TV? They're on all the time," Natsumi said, "Come here." The two went to the TV. and Natsumi turned it on. There was immediately a commercial for Klondike Bars. (How convenient.)
A man and his wife were talking at a restaurant. Suddenly, a very attractive woman walked by. The man paid no attention to her. The announcer suddenly pointed this out and said that the man needed a Klondike Bar. A jingle played that went, "What would you do-o-o for a Klondike Bar?"
"That's weird. Pekoponians would really do a lot for a Klondike Bar?" Keroro asked.
"I guess," Natsumi replied. Keroro immediately grew quiet. Pekoponians would do ANYTHING for a Klondike Bar. Keroro's thoughts could be summed up in two words: Invasion Plan.
He took off towards the base. He had to tell the others. Merchandising had never worked for them before, but perhaps it was because they were offering the wrong products. He flew through the doors.
"I HAVE-" he began.
"A perfectly good explanation as to why you are twenty minutes late? Please, do tell," Giroro snarled.
"Okay, so I'm doing my chores, right? And I have five minutes to get down here, right? So, I finish, and then Natsumi suddenly appears and makes me go around with her to see if I did a good job. Then when she realized I did, she rewarded me with the sexiest thing since Gunpla!" Keroro squealed.
"Herself…?" Giroro asked.
"You?" Tamama asked.
"Hikiki?" Kururu asked.
"World Peace?" Dororo asked. (LOLWUT? 8'D)
"Hikiki?" Raido asked.
"Raido?" Hikiki asked.
"Me?" Daikiki asked with a smile.
"A dictionary for what the word 'sexiest' refers to?" Nozizi asked.
"Giraffe?" Eddodo grinned.
"What? NO! This!" Keroro exclaimed, holding up the Klondike Bar.
"Eh, that's sexier than you?" Tamama asked.
"Tch. Raido and I both said Hikiki. We outvoted you, kukuku," Kururu sighed. Hikiki blushed and leaned on Raido with a smile. Kururu glared at the two, but made no action.
"Ah, good, Kururu Socho!" Keroro smiled. Kururu looked at him confusedly.
"Huh?" he asked. Keroro recalled the commercial and broke off part of the Klondike Bar, handing it to Kururu.
"You earned yourself part of a Klondike Bar!" he announced.
Kururu stared at the piece of Klondike Bar in his hand. Giroro and Nozizi both clapped sarcastically, snickering at Kururu for getting "picked on."
"Eat it," Keroro said.
"Why, is it poisonous?" Kururu asked.
"Eat it and find out," Keroro smiled.
"Don't eat it, Kururu; that means 'Yes, it's poisonous,'" Raido said.
"Well if YOU don't want me to eat it, then that makes me want to eat it all the more," Kururu hissed.
"Fine then, eat it," Hikiki snapped.
"Well-! Fine!" Kururu barked.
"Fine," Hikiki said.
"Fine!"
"Fine."
"Fine!"
"Fine."
"Fi-"
"SHUT UP AND JUST EAT IT!" Keroro barked. Kururu looked alarmed and put it in his mouth.
He was quiet a moment.
"Well? Do you love it…?" Keroro asked excitedly. Kururu hesitated.
"I… guess it tastes… partially okay without curry…" he muttered.
"Amazing; it's phenomenal," Giroro said sarcastically.
"Yeah! It's phenominimininimin…iminimaman… aminal!" Nozizi exclaimed.
"Just stop talking," Giroro said.
"Okay," Nozizi squeaked.
"Okay, so you discovered a new favorite food. Congrats. So, what's the invasion plan today?" Raido asked. Keroro showed him the Klondike Bar. Raido stared at him.
"Oh, HECK no. You can't expect to rule Pekopon with that thing," he snapped.
"I can and will," Keroro replied.
"Gunso, I've seen you try and dominate with merchandising before. To be really blunt, you're lousy at it," Raido said.
"Well, no one asked your opinion," Keroro argued.
"So, why the heck are we here?!" Hikiki barked.
"You promised to help," Keroro said, "Besides, you don't understand this thing's power… Pekoponians would do ANYTHING for one."
"That's stupid, who would do ANYTHING for a Klondike Bar?" Raido asked. With that, Mois ran in quickly.
"A KLONDIKE BAR?! OJI-SAMA, I'D DO ANYTHING FOR THAT!" she squealed.
"How very well-timed," Kururu commented.
"That's a horrible example; that woman is stupid. Of course she'd do anything for a Klondike Bar," Tamama snarled.
Mois noticed the Raido Platoon.
"YOU'RE BACK!" she squealed, hugging Raido.
"GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME, LADY!" Raido roared.
"Moa-dono…? Could you go… uh… buy more Klondike Bars, please?" Keroro asked. Mois put Raido down and ran off to the store.
"Better?" Keroro asked.
"Quite," Raido and Hikiki replied in unison.
"She's kinda cute…" Daikiki smiled.
"WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Raido yelled.
"FOCUS!" Keroro snapped, "Look, I know that in the past our merchandising plans have been-"
"Failures?" Dororo asked with a sly gaze.
"-less than successful," Keroro snarled, narrowing his eyes angrily, "However, I think the Klondike Bars will be different."
"Oh, really? How?" Giroro asked. Keroro thought a moment. There had to be proof. GOOD proof. He went to the large computer and uploaded Youtube, typing "Klondike Bar commercial" in the search bar. Several videos were brought up. Keroro clicked on one and let the commercial play for the two Platoons. The other nine watched quietly. As the video ended, there was silence between them.
"Don't you see? Pekoponians would even fight an evil samurai for a Klondike Bar," Keroro said. More silence.
"Can you put on a Lazytown video?" Nozizi asked with a smile.
"No!" Keroro barked.
"I still don't understand. I would fight an evil samurai for nothing but peace," Dororo said.
"That's why it's hilarious! Pekoponians would do ridiculous things like that for Klondike Bars! We could have them do that job for you AND get money for it!" Keroro smiled.
"Isn't that kind of ripping people off?" Raido asked.
"N-No!"
"Rip-off artist."
"I'm not a rip-off artist."
"Rip-off artist," Eddodo said.
"I'M NOT! PEKOPONIANS ARE JUST STUPID!"
"That's politically incorrect!" Hikiki snapped.
"YOU'RE politically incorrect!" Keroro snapped back.
"DON'T CALL MY GIRLFRIEND POLITICALLY INCORRECT!" Raido snarled, his eyes reddening as a sign of his dark persona. Hikiki quickly pulled out a box of soybeans and chucked a handful at him.
"Demon be gone," she said. Raido shrieked and fell over as the soybeans pelted him. He went back to normal.
"Why didn't we think of that a few months ago when we needed it?" Kururu asked.
"Who knows?" Daikiki asked.
"Do you guys have ADD or something? NONE of you can focus for ten seconds!" Keroro yelled.
"The author has ADD," Nozizi piped up. I ran in the room angrily.
"I do not have AD-" I began, but was suddenly distracted by a bug on the ceiling.
"BUG!" I screamed, chasing after it.
"…ooooookay," Eddodo blinked.
"She's cute too," Daikiki grinned.
"Do you say that about EVERY female you see?" Giroro asked.
"Yes. Including Raido's mother," Daikiki replied.
"WHAT THE HECK?!" Raido shouted.
"DON'T FORCE ME TO USE THIS!" Keroro screamed, yanking out the Kero Ball. The Keroro Platoon immediately backed off.
"You wouldn't!" Tamama gasped.
"He would!" Dororo whimpered.
"Kukuku…" Kururu snickered nervously.
"Wait, why do you have that? Isn't Fuyuki supposed to have that?" Giroro pointed out. Keroro was fed up and didn't want to explain the long story. (Nor do I.)
"What Fuyuki-dono doesn't know won't hurt him," he sighed irately.
"What is that?" Raido asked.
"DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!" Keroro barked, aiming it at him with no intentions of actually using it. Raido and his Platoon fell for the bluff and backed off, Hikiki and Eddodo grabbing onto Raido and Nozizi grabbing onto Daikiki.
"You're very persuasive, Gunso-san…" Nozizi whimpered. Keroro immediately noticed Tamama fume but not act. He broke off another piece of Klondike Bar.
"Tamama Nito. Congrats; you earned it," he called over, tossing the Klondike Bar fragment to Tamama. Tamama grabbed it out of the air as if it were a ticket to a "Dance Man" or "Sumomo" concert. He crammed it in his mouth without hesitation, in contrast to Kururu before him.
"Well?" Giroro asked.
"OMG, THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER! GUNSO-SAN, I WILL FOLLOW YOU ALWAYS!" Tamama exclaimed, grabbing onto Keroro's leg and snuggling it with his face.
"Do you really like it, or do you just like it because Gunso said it was the best thing ever…?" Raido asked.
"Beeessssttt thiiiiingggggg eeeeeeverrrrrrrrrrrr…" Tamama droned, nearly foaming out the mouth.
"Oh, God, I don't think we should be selling these. I mean, look at Tamama…" Raido said fearfully.
"Klooooooooooondiiike Baaaarrrrrrrr…" Tamama droned, drooling.
"And? That just means people will buy more," Keroro said.
"No, that means we're going to end up turning Pekopon into a race of demented and possessed sugar addicts," Hikiki said.
"Sugar Free Klondike Bars," Keroro replied.
"Ew, who likes Sugar Free?" Hikiki asked.
"I like Sugar Free gum," I said. I was then distracted by the bug again, "BUG!" I ran off.
"Think I could get her number?" Daikiki asked.
"GET OVER YOURSELF! SHE'S NOT INTERESTED IN YOU!" Raido yelled.
"I'm baaaaaack!" Mois singsonged, coming through the doors with several bags containing Klondike Bars.
"NOOOOO!" Raido screamed.
"Wow, that was fast. Were you on hyper-shop?" Nozizi asked.
"Hai! Here, Oji-sama," Mois grinned, dropping the bags on Keroro. Keroro felt his body crush under their weight.
"…arigato, Moa-dono…" he mumbled. Digging his way out of the pile of frozen boxes, Keroro tore a few open and tossed Klondike Bars out to the ten; the four subordinates of the Keroro Platoon, the five members of the Raido Platoon, and Mois.
"Perhaps the only way to convince you that this plan will work is if you taste for yourselves," he said, "Try it." Tamama tore his open and devoured it like a wood chipper. Kururu just tossed his in a bored manner, (Tamama gladly disposed it for him.) The others slowly unwrapped theirs and bit off a corner. Keroro waited for their reactions, which were all diverse.
"Not bad…" Raido muttered.
"Wow, this really is pretty good…" Dororo said.
"I LOVE IT!" Mois squealed. Eddodo viciously ate the rest of his, signifying that he was more than content with the treat.
"Pointless…" Giroro scowled, tossing his to the floor. Tamama, Eddodo, and Mois all attacked each other as they went to get it.
"NO! I SAW IT FIRST! IT'S MINE!" Tamama bellowed.
"YOU HAD TWO, DUMBASH!" Eddodo shrieked.
"Hellmageddon 1/1000!" Mois screamed, going into her true form (bloomers n' all.) As her Lucifer's Spear split the floor to the base, Keroro heard nothing but an explosion and he blacked out.
Shortly after, he woke up to notice that the base was a wreck. His hat was replaced with a large black afro. The others slowly rose up, each with large, poofy afros. Mois was back to… (air quote) "normal" (end air quote) and was sitting happily in the corner with Giroro's unwanted Klondike Bar.
"Stupid girl…" Raido snarled trying to pat down his light brown afro so that it would become the spiky style it was supposed to be.
"I think that trying to invade Pekopon this way isn't peaceful at all…" Dororo muttered, comically crying silent tears and trying to hide the large blue afro.
"Who cares? It gets the job done. Right, Giroro?" Keroro asked. Giroro was irritated by his blonde afro that rivaled Daikiki's.
"No! I'm not even going for this plan!" he snarled.
"I'm for you, Gunso-san!" Tamama smiled, his red afro poofy and cute as his expression.
"Hai!" Eddodo squeaked, proud of his reddish brown afro.
"Me too!" Mois grinned (having no afro because nobody likes her so she can't be compared).
"NO YOU'RE NOT! SHUT UP!" Tamama shrieked.
"Gunso, you're making a huge mistake," Hikiki said, locating her hat and trying to fit it over her dark brown afro.
"How so? Tamama and one of your own comrades are both against your statement," Keroro spat.
"Well for one, Tamama and Eddodo both have the minds of eight-year-olds, so of course a little sugar will hype them up. (No offense to either of you," she added,) "Besides, imagine someone REALLY getting hyper about this! What if they destroyed the entire planet JUST for a flipping Klondike Bar?"
"Her logic is perfect," Kururu said, not bothered by his red orange afro. He looked over at Hikiki who gave him a suspicious look, "And no, I'm not trying to be a kissup. Think about it; if someone irresponsible, say 556, got his hands on a Klondike Bar and went even more insane, like Moa, using his Adhesion on the world. It would be completely destructive and eventually leave Pekopon in a state of ruins."
"…there goes my vote," Nozizi said, poking at his black afro curiously.
"I didn't want to have to do this…" Keroro said. He immediately put on a pathetic "Guilt Trip" face; complete with teary eyes and a trembling lip. Some were affected, others weren't.
"S-Stop it. Gunso-san, I said I'd help…!" Tamama muttered, growing very upset.
"We're supposed to go for that?" Giroro asked.
"What is that supposed to be anyway?" Daikiki asked.
"He's gonna make me cry…" Nozizi murmured.
"You look like an idiot; stop it," Kururu said bluntly.
"You're very cute, but no one is going for it…" Hikiki said.
"I'm sorry; I can't take him seriously…" Raido grinned, snickering at Keroro's expression. Dororo was unaffected as he looked in the opposite direction. Eddodo twitched.
"OJI-SAMA! DON'T BE SAD!" Mois bawled, going back into her true form and yanking out her Lucifer's Spear, "I'll destroy this entire planet to ease your pain and to deplete the ones who don't care!" She held her Lucifer's Spear high above her head and attempted to drive it into the ground.
"H-HOLD ON! HOLD ON!" Giroro said quickly.
"Okay! Okay! We'll help you with this invasion plan…" Raido said.
"We're completely for you…" Dororo added.
"Those bloomers make you look fat," Hikiki said bluntly to Mois. (PWNAGE) Daikiki smacked her over the head.
"Will you shut up?!" he snarled nervously. Raido smacked him over the head and Kururu kicked him in the back, "Ow! Hey…"
"Arigato, Shotais! You won't regret this!" Keroro smiled happily.
"Somehow, I get the feeling we will," Giroro said.
"I got that same feeling," Raido said, rubbing his head wearily.
"Who cares about that? How many times have I been right and you wrong?" Keroro asked. The others glared at him exasperatedly, "Well… anyway, let's get the 'Invade Pekopon with Klondike Bars Operation' underway."
It was only hours after launching the plan that Keroro had transformed his burger shop into a Klondike Bar store. The room was particularly frigid due to the installation of several freezers. It didn't necessarily bother him or the others; the summer heat outside was harsh. The nine stood around in their Pekoponian suits, waiting.
"What now?" Eddodo asked.
"We just have to wait for our first customers," Keroro replied. He was growing worried. He had Hikiki and Kururu print out several flyers and Dororo was out putting them up. How could Pekoponians resist what they advertised so famously?
"Maybe we're charging too high," Giroro said.
"Moa bought Klondike Bars for 400 yen," Keroro said.
"Not single bars. She bought a pack for 400 yen. We should lower the price to 200 yen at least," Raido said.
"Oh, come ON. We have to EAT, y'know," Keroro snapped.
"…we eat for free, genius," Tamama pointed out.
The bell on the door jingled. Keroro looked over quickly, but was disappointed to see that it was only Dororo in his Pekoponian suit.
"Taicho-dono, are you sure this plan will work?" he asked.
"Don't doubt me, Dororo-kun. Since when have I let you down?" Keroro asked.
"The numbers are so high, I can't count on my fingers, toes, sticks, stones, rocks, bones, my neighbors' toes, OR any of yours," Dororo replied exasperatedly.
"Who cares? Just trust me; Pekoponians will come flying in at any moment," Keroro replied.
The bell jingled again. Two men in black outfits with dark shades walked in.
"Ooh! Are you men interested in purchasing a Klondike Bar for a mere 400 yen?" Keroro asked sweetly.
"400 yen? Are you nuts?" one man asked.
"Sirs and ma'am, we're from the Klondike Bar company," the second man said.
"…Keroro… don't tell me that you didn't ask permission to sell these…" Giroro snarled.
"Eh… no…" Keroro muttered.
"Oh, that's just peachy…" Hikiki snarled, leaning over the counter in a sickly fashion.
"Um, I apologize, sirs," Keroro muttered, "It slipped my mind."
"He has a brain of SOAP," Dororo replied, then he paused, "Only not clean." Keroro threw a fake Klondike bar from the display at him. It conked him in the head. Dororo merely rubbed his head and glared at Keroro.
"We won't press charges," the first man replied. Keroro was relieved.
"Oh, thank you! You won't regret-" he started.
"Of course, we do expect a portion of your profits," the second man interrupted. Keroro felt his heart drop. For some reason, he had the odd feeling that his teammates were glaring holes into the back of his head.
"…a portion of our profits…?" he repeated.
"That isn't a problem is it?"
"N-No! No! Of course not, sirs! A portion of our profits will be just fine!"
"Of course… that is if you can actually sell any. If not, you'll be expected to turn in money from your own pockets," the first man said quietly.
"Eh?! Out of our pockets?! But if we didn't sell any, why do we have to give anything to you?!" Keroro whined. Giroro shoved his face into the counter.
"That's fine," he said. Keroro's face was so squished that he couldn't protest.
"Good. Thank you for your cooperation," the first man said. The two bowed and took their leave. Keroro pulled himself out of Giroro's hold.
"Well, I hope you're happy!" he snapped. Giroro glared at him.
"You have no room to talk! You got us into this!" he yelled.
"Great. Now we have to sell all these, and STILL won't get all the profits," Daikiki snarled.
"This is stupid. I wanna go home," Nozizi spoke up.
"No! We've come this far! We can't back down," Keroro snapped.
"Gunso's right. We'd might as well keep going…" Raido said. Keroro felt himself grin.
"That's my Raido-dono, de arimasu!" he exclaimed, putting his arm around Raido.
"Eh? YOURS?" Hikiki asked with a glare.
"You can have him," Daikiki grinned to Keroro, sidestepping up to Hikiki and taking her hand. She frowned and slugged him.
"In your wildest crack dreams, dingbat," she hissed. Kururu cackled.
The bell on the door jingled again. Keroro turned around immediately and noticed Natsumi, Koyuki, and a couple of their friends from school come through the door. Raido slowly slipped out of Keroro's hold and lowered himself behind the counter nervously. Keroro felt sick as Natsumi looked up at him and her face expressed a mix between shock and rage.
"You know, Yayoi… maybe it was a bad idea to come here," she said.
"What are you saying, Natsumi-san? You had your heart set on it too. If it's getting fat that you're worried about, then that's no excuse," Yayoi protested.
"Hai! Natsumi-san has a very nice figure!" Koyuki squeaked. Natsumi's face expressed utter disdain, but she gave in.
The group of teenage girls approached the counter.
"Hello!" Yayoi smiled.
"Hello, there! Would you girls be interested in purchasing a Klondike Bar for a mere 400 yen?" Keroro asked.
"No thanks, I lost my appetite," Natsumi snarled.
"Oh, come on, Natsumi-san. 400 yen isn't all that bad," the fourth girl said.
"Satsuki's right. It's hot today; we can afford a little overpriced treat," Yayoi agreed.
"Yeah, yeah. Klondike Bars of every kind. Take your pick," Keroro grinned. He was still concerned. Would Natsumi tell the others not to come?
"Dororo? What kinds of flavors are there?" Koyuki asked.
"You know him…?" Yayoi asked.
"Uh-! Hai! He's my… second half-brother… twice removed!" Koyuki exclaimed. Everyone was quiet a second.
"…I see the resemblance," Satsuki said finally. Dororo sweatdropped.
"Yeeeeeeeahhh… um, Keroro-kun?" he asked. Keroro suddenly became aware that he had, once again, forgotten to inform Dororo of the flavors of Klondike Bars.
"Um…" he started.
"You guys don't know your own flavors? And yet you work here? That's real smart," Natsumi said.
"There's traditional chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, mint, orange, butterscotch, double chocolate, cherry, sushi, and sugar-free," Kururu replied. Keroro sighed in relief; Kururu was a life-saver.
"Sugar-Free? Ew! Who likes sugar-free?" Yayoi asked. Hikiki shot Keroro a smug smirk. He shot a dirty look back.
"Shut up, Hikiki," he hissed. Raido kicked him from under the counter and Kururu glared holes into the back of his head. Keroro yelped and held his leg in pain.
"Do you sell drinks here?" Satsuki asked.
"Uh… no; this is a Klondike Bar store. So, what flavor?" Keroro asked.
"What about fries?" Satsuki asked.
"No… this is a Klondike Bar store…"
"How about regular ice cream?"
"NOOOOO! Look! I'm going to make this REALLY simple: we only sell Klondike Bars! Okay? Comprende?"
"…so… you don't sell… ANYTHING else…?"
"No."
"… …what about just chips?"
"No, no, NO!" Keroro howled, "What kind of people are you?! It's a KLONDIKE BAR; the most fantastic thing known to Pekoponians! Why are you asking for every alternative?!"
"Peko- what? What on Earth are rambling about?" Yayoi asked.
"Natsumi-dono, you said it yourself! Pekoponians would do anything for a Klondike Bar!" Keroro blurted.
"Shut up!" Raido hissed frantically.
"Wait- you know HIM?" Yayoi asked, "How many of them do you two know?!"
"Yeah… he's my third uncle, twenty times removed and once replaced," Natsumi said, "He's done time. They had him in solitary confinement; he's kind of a loon. He escaped Alcatraz."
"Wooooooooow… I didn't know Natsumi-san had weird relatives…" Satsuki awed.
"I'm not weird," Keroro retorted, crossing his arms. The other nine incognito Keronians conspicuously stifled laughter. Keroro frowned at his comrades, "Shut up, you."
He turned back towards the girls.
"So are you going to order or not?" he asked.
"For 400 yen? For you? No," Natsumi replied bluntly.
"I'll take a traditional chocolate," Yayoi said.
"What do you recommend, Dororo?" Koyuki asked.
"The sushi; it's very healthy. It's technically just a rice square and maguro with seaweed wrapped over it," Dororo replied. (See, it's not as gross as you guys thought.)
"Okay! One sushi, please!" Koyuki squeaked.
"…and you're SURE you don't sell drinks…?" Satsuki asked. Keroro slapped his forehead and ran his hand down his face slowly.
"For the flipping love of Gundam…" he snarled.
"Never mind, I'll just take a butterscotch," Satsuki said.
"Thank you. That'll be 400 yen from you three," Keroro sighed. Satsuki looked into her purse.
"Um… I'm 100 yen short," she said. Keroro stood quietly for a moment. Finally, he walked over to a wall and banged his head against it for awhile. After that entire argument, she's short a quarter of the price? How could Pekoponians be so stupid?!
Finally, Natsumi sighed.
"Fine, I'll pay for it," she said, taking some money out.
"Thank you-" Satsuki started.
"You're so nice, Natsumi-chan!" Daikiki said abruptly. Giroro slapped him over the head. Satsuki slowly looked over at Natsumi.
"Are there any others that you know…?" she asked. Natsumi was quiet a moment.
"Her and him," she said, gesturing at Hikiki and Giroro. Tamama, Eddodo, and Nozizi looked irritated. Kururu expressed nothing. Raido looked relieved.
"Thank you, Natsumi-dono," Keroro smiled, accepting her money.
"Don't get cocky," she snarled, "You're doing the laundry for me tomorrow to make up for it."
"It's not my fault that you have ditzy friends who can't bring enough money," Keroro replied bluntly as he rung up the sales.
"Will you shut UP?!" Giroro hissed, slamming his face into the counter again.
"Thank you for your patronage," Nozizi smiled, handing the three girls Klondike Bars.
"Arigato, Nozizi!" Koyuki smiled. Yayoi and Satsuki looked exasperated.
"Him too?" they asked.
"…no. I read his name tag," Koyuki said nervously.
Nozizi looked down at his chest, looking for a name tag.
"What name ta-?" he started.
"Oh, look at the time! We'd better be going! Bye!" Natsumi said loudly, grabbing Yayoi and Satsuki by the arms and dragging them out the doors.
"Bye, everyone! Good luck!" Koyuki squeaked and followed her friends.
Keroro pulled out of Giroro's hold once more.
"Finally! I'm glad THAT'S over with," he snarled.
"This was YOUR stupid idea! Remember?!" Giroro barked. Raido came up from behind the counter.
"I don't think this plan is going to work anymore. Actually, I never thought it would," he said angrily.
"Like you helped! You just hid behind the counter!" Keroro snapped.
"Come on! You know that I'm afraid of you-know-who! Cut me some slack, will ya?!" Raido argued back.
"Get over it!"
"Fine! I quit!"
Raido started to walk off, but Keroro clung to him quickly and put on a guilt trip.
"Nooo! You can't leave me! After everything we've been through?! Don't end this, please!" Keroro sobbed.
"You make it sound like he's your secret lover or something…" Giroro said suspiciously.
"Would it really surprise you if he WERE?" Kururu asked with a mischievous grin.
"Kururu-senpai... What did the five fingers say to the back of the head?" Hikiki asked. Kururu turned his head briefly, and Hikiki smacked him over the back of the head, finishing, "Slap."
As Giroro and Daikiki laughed, Keroro heard the bell on the door jingle again. Fuyuki and Masaru walked in.
"Well, hi!" Keroro grinned, "More familiar faces!"
"Gunso? You run this place?" Fuyuki asked.
"Masaru-dono, did you come to visit?" Raido asked with a smile.
"Yeah! It's pretty cool to see you work here!" Masaru replied. Keroro decided to have some fun.
"Uh, actually… he just quit," he smiled.
"What?" Masaru asked.
"N-No; I was only kidding," Raido chuckled nervously.
"Sounded pretty convincing to me," Keroro said. Raido rolled his eyes.
"Am I rehired?" he asked.
"Yes. IF! …you give me a hug," Keroro grinned. His friend looked at him quietly.
"Excuse me?"
"No hug, no hire," Keroro replied.
"This is blackmail!" Raido complained.
"Fine then. You can hug Kururu if you'd rather," Keroro said.
"Say what?!" Kururu asked. Raido and Kururu looked at each other. Kururu frowned, "Get away from me."
"I wasn't gonna hug you anyway, sicko," Raido replied bluntly. He sighed and gave Keroro a light hug.
"Come on, give me a bear hug," Keroro insisted.
"YOU'RE PUSHING YOUR LUCK, GUNSO," Raido snarled. Fuyuki and Masaru laughed.
"Come on; don't fight. We'd like to buy a Klondike Bar," Fuyuki said.
"Really?!" Keroro squealed.
"Um, duh. Why else do you think they'd come here if they didn't know we worked here?" Hikiki asked.
"Two please, Hiki-chan," Masaru smiled handing her 400 yen. Fuyuki also placed 400 yen on the counter. Hikiki, for once, looked pleased to be part of the operation as she went to the back room to retrieve the Klondike Bars.
"Thank you so much, Fuyuki and Masaru," Keroro smiled, joyful tears rising in his eyes, "This is so nice of you!"
"Well, come on; you're all our friends," Fuyuki smiled. He glanced at the menu prices, "And if you had been just anyone, we wouldn't have bought such overpriced treats." Keroro sweatdropped at the repeatedly pointed-out flaw.
"I told you we should lower the price," Raido said.
"And I'm your manager; I can still sack you," Keroro replied. Raido sweatdropped.
"You won't sack him or else I'll quit," Hikiki said, coming back with their Klondike Bars.
"Arigato," Fuyuki and Masaru smiled politely.
"Anytime, Fuyuki-dono," Keroro smiled back.
"Well, see you guys at home! Good luck with the business!" Masaru called.
"Thanks, Masaru! We'll see you guys later!" Raido called after the two boys.
The bell tingled as the two left.
"Nice to see so many familiar faces," Keroro smiled.
"Yeah, but that came close with Natsumi. If we're not careful, we'll blow it with someone else, like Saburo," Giroro said.
The bell jingled. They looked over to see a young man and his girlfriend.
"Hello," the man said.
"Hi! Would you like to purchase a Klondike Bar for 400 yen?" Keroro asked.
"Yes; two please," the man said.
Hikiki went back to retrieve the Klondike Bars.
"So, uh… you just started this business?" the woman asked.
"Yes. Yes we did," Keroro smiled.
"Are… are you trying to get the money for… medical attention…?" the man asked. Keroro was alarmed.
"What-?! No! Why?!" he asked nervously.
"Uh-! No-No reason!" the woman replied.
"Noooooo. WHY?" Giroro asked irately.
"Well… you guys do realize that… um… your faces are uh… unnatural colors…?" the man asked. Keroro's cheeks went red. He had to think of something quick.
"Ugh! Racist!" Tamama blurted. Keroro had never been so proud of Tamama's quick thinking. It made him want to give him a hug or something. (…Some…thing… -w- -brick'd-) The woman looked mortified.
"I-I didn't mean it like that!" the man stuttered.
"Excuse me, Gunso? Can I see you in the freezer for a second?" Hikiki asked from the freezer.
"Whatcha gonna do in THERE?" Nozizi asked, a smug grin on his face.
"None of your business. That's what," Hikiki snapped. Daikiki wolf-whistled. Raido and Kururu shot him a dirty look. Keroro rolled his eyes and went back.
As he got in, Hikiki closed the door behind her. Keroro decided to have some fun with her too.
"So, uh… what DO you want to do in here?" he asked, leaning against one of the shelves in a sexy sort of manner. Hikiki gave him a cold glare and crossed her arms angrily.
"Okay, okay. What?" Keroro asked.
"What's on those shelves?" she asked him. He looked over; several Klondike Bar boxes were stacked on them.
"Klondike Bars," he said.
"You sure?" Hikiki asked.
Keroro felt his blood run cold, but the freezer didn't help that. Quietly, Keroro lifted a box. It was light. He looked it over; it was open. The other boxes were also open.
"They're gone?!" he asked.
"Yep! We just gave out the last two!" Hikiki snapped.
"Well, don't yell at me! I didn't take all of these!" Keroro barked.
"Well who else would?!" Hikiki barked back. They stopped a moment. Hikiki went to the door.
"TAMAMA! EDDODO! GET YOUR BUTTS IN HERE!" she yelled.
"Oh, because THAT won't get the customers' attention!" Keroro sighed.
"You make it sound like we're packed!" Hikiki snapped.
Tamama and Eddodo shuffled in quickly. Hikiki slammed the door behind her.
"Tell us and tell us honestly! Did you or did you not eat all of the Klondike Bars?!" she hollered.
"What-?! No! Why would you think that?!" Tamama asked. Hikiki narrowed her eyes. Tamama narrowed his, "I don't have a problem."
"You know, admitting is the first step to solving," Keroro grinned.
"NEVER!"
"Gunso! No! This is serious!" Hikiki snapped at him, then turning back to Tamama and Eddodo.
"Are you absolutely positive that you didn't get into these?" she asked.
"Yes!" Eddodo shrieked, "Tamama tell you, no?"
As they spoke, a man walked into the freezer. He was neatly dressed and wore rubber gloves.
"Hey, this area is for authorized personnel only," Keroro scolded. The man reached into his pocket and held out an I.D.
"Sir, I'm here from the health inspections unit. Apparently some jokers from the ice cream factory decided to release several of their products that they made with spoiled milk," he said.
Keroro fell very quiet.
"…spoiled milk…?" he asked.
"Yes. For the next week, all cow milk products will be put on recall. We've already cleaned out the contaminated sources from the freezer," the man said, "I would suggest closing down for the next two weeks or so." Keroro frowned.
"Two weeks is all we have," he said.
"Oh. Well… sorry," the man shrugged, "Good luck to all of you."
After that, Keroro had to apologize to the costumers for the inconvenience. The ten spent the rest of the day cleaning up the shop and shutting it down. They all returned to the Hinata's house late that night.
"Working late?" Natsumi asked, "How's the business?" The ten glared at her. "Not so good huh? I didn't imagine you would last long."
"Well, you didn't help!" Hikiki snapped. Natsumi sweatdropped. The ten softened their glares.
"It's probably better if you didn't…" Giroro said.
"Why?" Natsumi asked.
"Well, APPARENTLY all milk products are on recall because they went out spoiled," Daikiki replied irritably.
"Ah… that would explain a lot…" Natsumi replied.
"About what?" Keroro asked.
"Well, Yayoi told me that her stomach was hurting, Satsuki was complaining that she felt nauseous, and-"
Just then, everyone heard a heave and a splatter.
"And I think Fuyuki just threw up," Natsumi said quickly, running to his aid. Keroro and Raido shrieked.
"We gave those to Fuyuki and Masaru!" Raido screamed.
"SH**!" Keroro shrieked. He ran to help Fuyuki and the Raido Platoon went back to Masaru's house.
Thirteen days remained.
Alternate Ending Exclusively for readers!
Author's Note again: Okay, now you see what I mean by how this dragged out? Well, I had a few ideas for how this would end. In fact, I'm going to share the one that I now WISHED I had used. ...because it would've made more sense. And it would've been shorter. ...and it it's more Keroro-like. ...so... uh... enjoy.
As he got in, Hikiki closed the door behind her. Keroro decided to have some fun with her too.
"So, uh… what DO you want to do in here?" he asked, leaning against one of the shelves in a sexy sort of manner. Hikiki gave him a cold glare and crossed her arms angrily.
"Okay, okay. What?" Keroro asked.
"What's on those shelves?" she asked him. He looked over; several Klondike Bar boxes were stacked on them.
"Klondike Bars," he said.
"You sure?" Hikiki asked.
Keroro felt his blood run cold, but the freezer didn't help that. Quietly, Keroro lifted a box. It was light. He looked it over; it was open. The other boxes were also open.
"They're gone?!" he asked.
"Yep! We just gave out the last two!" Hikiki snapped.
"Well, don't yell at me! I didn't take all of these!" Keroro barked.
"Well who else would?!" Hikiki barked back. They stopped a moment. Hikiki went to the door.
"TAMAMA! EDDODO! GET YOUR BUTTS IN HERE!" she yelled.
"Oh, because THAT won't get the customers' attention!" Keroro sighed.
"You make it sound like we're packed!" Hikiki snapped.
Tamama and Eddodo shuffled in quickly. Hikiki slammed the door behind her.
"Tell us and tell us honestly! Did you or did you not eat all of the Klondike Bars?!" she hollered.
"What-?! No! Why would you think that?!" Tamama asked. Hikiki narrowed her eyes. Tamama narrowed his, "I don't have a problem."
"You know, admitting is the first step to solving," Keroro grinned.
"NEVER!"
"Gunso! No! This is serious!" Hikiki snapped at him, then turning back to Tamama and Eddodo.
"Are you absolutely positive that you didn't get into these?" she asked.
"Yes!" Eddodo shrieked, "Tamama tell you, no?"
As they spoke, they heard a loud laugh. It was familiar to Keroro. Tamama and Eddodo looked nervous and they shuffled out quickly. Suddenly, he realized what it was.
"LOOK OUT!" he shrieked, grabbing Hikiki to protect her. With that, the wall of the freezer burst open.
"GDOOOOOOOOOOH!"
"Are you okay, Hiki-chan?!" Keroro asked.
"Uh, yeah," Hikiki blinked, alarmed by the abrupt event.
"What happened?! Giroro demanded, running in with his gun at the ready. Raido ran in.
"Hikiki! Gunso! Are you oka-" He stared at the way Keroro was holding Hikiki, "Uh... what are you doing?" Kururu poked his head in immediately, trying to make it look like mere curiosity, but the defensiveness couldn't be hidden.
Keroro looked down at her. He had her leaned against the wall, making it appear more like assault. Immediately, he shoved her away.
"Ew! Hiki-chan, how could you!" he exclaimed.
"SHUT UP! YOU GRABBED ME!" Hikiki screamed.
"Haaaaaah hahaha..."
The group looked around the cloudy freezer for the source of the explosion and voice.
"Keroro!"
Keroro looked up at the ceiling. Kogoro stood at the top of the feezer with the missing Klondike Bars.
"Um... hello, Kogoro-san. Uh... okay, what the heck, I'll just ask. Why are you on the ceiling with our Klondike Bars?" Keroro asked him.
"I wish to make a purchase!" Kogoro exclaimed animatedly, "And I wish to purchase all of your Klondike Bars!"
"I'm so sorry my brother keeps causing you trouble! Sumimasen! Sumimasen!" Lavie cried, coming out of nowhere and bowing quickly.
"Uh... no! No! It's no trouble at all! We needed to sell those all anyway! Great!" Keroro grinned.
"I have left your payment out back! Until we meet again, Keroro!" With a final triumphant "Haaaah hahaha!" Kogoro flew out of the freezer, with Lavie trailing quickly behind.
"...ooooooookaaaay. Does anyone want to explain what just happened here...?" Raido asked. The entire Raido had never met Kogoro prior to that moment.
"That Kogoro! He's so crazy, but you have to love him as a man!" Keroro wept, smiling graciously.
"Oh my God! Gay!" Daikiki exclaimed. Eddodo hit him.
"Well, I'll close up shop. Looks like you did something right for once Keroro," Giroro said. Keroro grinned.
"And y'all laughed at me," he cackled, going out of the gaping hole in the freezer to collect the payment.
As he got outside, his eyes fell upon their profits and his heart sank.
"You've GOT to be kidding me," he muttered.
"What?! What happened?!" Giroro asked, rushing around him. As he saw it, he glared at Keroro.
"We should have known..." he growled.
The total had been paid in many colored boxes.