After Gibbs' "good job" to McGee the rest of the ride back was completely silent. Even though it was only a five minute car ride back the silence still seemed to eat away at them. Questions were desperately awaiting answers and answers could not be found until they returned back to the motel and could read Ziva's letter. Neither Tony nor Gibbs knew that McGee had a letter addressed to Tony from Ziva and the way that Ziva had handed McGee the note he was pretty sure it was something she wanted for Tony and only Tony. If Gibbs really meant rule number 12 then he was pretty sure that neither Tony or Ziva would currently have a job. All he knew was that they had been leaving work together alot and apparently Ziva was taken from outside of Tony's apartment. Now McGee may not be a relationship specialist but he could pretty much figure out what these two had been up to, or at least he could assume, which Gibbs says to never do...Maybe he should not even try and figure it out. They were two very complex and confusing people and it was most likely better to let them figure it out before he tried to. Next thing he knew they were parked outside of the motel. Circular thinking seems to pass the time.
"She handed you a letter right?" Gibbs questions quietly. His usual growl gone, as if he has just woken up.
"Uh, yeah, I-I have it right here," McGee says a little caught off guard but shows him the letter he had been gripping since he left the building. Gibbs snatches it out of his hand and jumps out of the truck. He walks to his room and uses his key card without even looking back, looking only at the letter.
Tony stares after him in disbelief and seems to even be considering jumping up and going to knock on Gibbs' door repeatedly and loudly. As the anger on Tony's face begins to become appear ant and the senior field agent unbuckles his seat belt McGee decides that it would be a good idea to show him that he had his own letter.
"Ziva passed this to me too. It's, uh for you," McGee says and Tony stares at the letter knowing that it was most definitely from her by the large and beautiful way she had written his name on the front. He looks from McGee to the letter and back staring in the same disbelief he had when Gibbs had stalked off with the other letter. McGee sticks the note practically in Tony's hand before he finally takes it and finally seems to snap back to reality.
"Thanks, Probie," he says and goes to his own room, one he shared with McGee and opening and closing the door. McGee sat in the truck and debates on what to do next. He couldn't exactly go into his room since Tony not only took the key but would probably kill him if he interrupted him. He goes to take the keys out of the engine but decides against it and flips the radio on, leans back and relaxes.
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Gibbs slid his finger through the sealing of the envelope and pulls out two pages of neatly written words. Words that held answers, explanation, and truths. He attempts to read without his glasses but sees no point in holding the paper a foot away from his face when he could just use his glasses. After he slides them on he starts at the top where there is one word written out in pencil.
Gibbs,
As I am sure you have figured out from the Israeli address, this is Ziva. At the moment I still am not sure how I will send this letter to you but if you are reading it then clearly I have figured some way out. The first thing that I need to tell you is that I am sorry. I know how you feel about apologies and I know that it makes what I have done and the mistakes that I have made no better, but I am still truly sorry. What I did, it was irresponsible and inexcusable. I have learned enough from working with NCIS that things such as these are to be discussed to you, not hidden. I trust that Tony has filled you in on what he knows which is honestly not much. I have recently, as of ten minutes ago, been informed on my father's intentions. On the terrorist attack, on how he plans to murder me, they are very much connected. He will execute both plans at once, I am the one who he wishes to use for the terrorist attack. The presidential dinner on the 16th, the one that I had been put on protection duty for the director, is where I am to set off a bomb of which will be strapped to my chest. I suppose you could say that he is taking out two men with one bullet, yes? I have told him that I will accept these duties, of course I do not actually plan to carry out what he wants but he...he knows who you are and can very, very easily kill you. I can still not trust that he will not do so before or after I have done as he asked but after I refused to be his suicide bomber he pulled out photos. Of you and Abby and Ducky, McGee and Tony, all of you with target marks around your heads, completely oblivious that your life could end so easily, so quickly. I could not decline what he was saying when it was all of your lives at stake, mine was one thing I do not care if I loose my life now or in a couple weeks but the five of you, I could not dare it if you all were to die because of me. There must be some way that we can stop this, stop him. We have done it before, yes? This feels eerily similar, a man who I, in the past, cared about but then ends up being a traitor, a commiter to treason, to their country, to their family, to me. Perhaps currently you do not trust me fully. After the information I with held I cannot blame you, had I pulled something such as that back in Mossad I would have been promptly punished, but you did not completely trust me the first time now did you, Gibbs? You had your doubts and worries; I saw it in your eyes. The same way I saw your confusion, anger, hurt and when you asked if I knew of your family, Kelly and Shannon the tragedy that happened to them, I saw the pain and sadness. I trust you, Gibbs. I trust that even though I have nailed up you do not hate me. You are not my father, you are nothing like him and for that reason I know that I can rely, trust and believe in you. I have no reason to doubt you even slightly, yet you have many reasons to doubt me. I should be able to contact you once I return to the states, whenever that may be, thank you. For everything.
Ahavah,
Ziva
Gibbs sighs as he sets the letter down. How could a father ask his own daughter carry out such sick and disturbing plans? She was right, they would figure it out and they would stop it. Together he would be stopped and somehow she would be saved. Too many of the ones he cared about had been killed, murdered, she could not be another.
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He held the envelope in his hand, running his finger over his name that she had beautifully printed. He had been waiting to hear from her, hoping she could contact him, praying that she was still alive. Relief flooded him when he heard McGee say her name and joy ran though him when he saw the letter being flashed in front of his face. He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he opened the letter pulling it from the envelope and opening the page.
Tony,
First of all I know how stupid it was for me to go for a run that morning. I never should have been so naive. You were right and I was wrong, now if you are finished relishing in the moment I have more I need to say to you. The details of what is going with me and my father have been supplied to Gibbs in another letter so you can just ask him about it; this letter is for me to explain some things, say the things that have been left unsaid for much too long. You and I, we are stubborn and strong-headed, outspoken and honest, hurt and broken. I have hidden so many secrets from you, none as serious as this but still many. Yet with all those secrets you are still the one I have opened up to the most, the one I am most comfortable around. I should have trusted you from the beginning with everything that was going but I did not and for that I apologize. I realize that it was in fact a mistake and I realized that even as I kept it from you but please understand. My father threatened to kill you if I told. I would not, could not, risk such a thing. You are my more than my partner, Tony. You are my best friend, my comfort, my security, I have come to need you over the past few years. I hate to admit it but it is true, the few months when we were separated were unbearably hard. I was alone. Do you remember that conversation we had shortly after Jenny's death? I told we are all alone and than nothing is inevitable. I was wrong. Those months in Israel I realized just how much I relied on seeing everyone, spending time with them, and, if it is concerning Abby hugging them. Since I have joined NCIS I have not been alone. Alone is when you have no one to turn, no one to seek shelter and safety in or if you are taking the definition from a dictionary it means, seperate; apart. I have not been alone in years and as long as I am with NCIS, with you, I never will be. The inevitable part I was wrong on also. The inevitable is unable to be avoided, evaded, or escaped; certain; necessary it was inevitable that this would happen, it was inevitable that...that I would fall in love with you. There is no denying or avoiding that, Tony. Whether I want to admit it or not, whether you feel the same or not, I could very well die and I know from experience that leaving things unsaid can eat you inside until it completely consumes you, so that is why I am telling you this. Please forgive me for my mistakes, I have made many. I know that, but I also know that you will never give up on me.
Ani ohev otach,
Ziva
Tony slowly lowers the note on to the table and blinks a few times as if to come back into focus. She loved him? She had said it, well wrote, that straight and clear. No beating around the bush, no masking it with a joke. Well that would have been something he would have done but Ziva has never been any better with the honesty of feelings than he had and yet she had just told him. Just like that, and now he knew, now more than ever, that they had to get her back because she could not leave something so important unsaid and neither could he.
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Once again I apologize for the shortness of the chapter and the amount of time it took for me to post it. I am still insanely busy with everything but things should hopefully calm down soon. As for the chapter, it was okay I suppose but definitely not my best. Things should start getting slightly resolved in the next chapter, maybe. Have a good day :)