Ziva shows her ID to the gate keeper outside of NCIS and he flips the switch, granting her entrance to the building. She drives through swerving suddenly into the parking garage and scanning each space for an empty slot. She passes one but just puts the car in reverse and expertly turns into the spot. She takes the keys out of the ignition, the engine falls silent and the warm air that had previously kept her from onsetting frostbite stops. Ziva sighs her eyes scanning the parking garage checking to see if the one who followed her constantly was here. If her worst enemy was present. She finds no one, although it was not as though he could follow her into the building. Between all of the security and the fact that Michael was not stupid made Ziva sure that he would not enter the NCIS building. However he would, most likely, most definitely, be watching her. She was never alone, never safe. Not for a moment could she relax or let her guard down. Her storyline had to be more real than the truth to her and her responses, to every question and every word directed to her, had to be perfectly said. No slip ups, no mistakes. Or it could be the end, before they could stop it, prevent it, end it. She had to be perfect.

Finally she makes the decision to go in knowing that she could not stay out there forever. For one they would be expecting her and secondly it was fifteen degrees, not the kind of weather where you sit in your car and ponder on every thought. Ziva grabs her back pack from the passenger seat and slings it over one shoulder. She walks into the building once again showing her ID to the security guard and then removing her weapons into a few plastic bins before proceeding through the security gate. The guard gives her a strange look as she begins to strap all of her weapons back on. First holstering her gun, then her backup and next her knife. Finally she takes one more knife and places it on the leg opposite of her extra fire arm. The security guard still stares at her with one eyebrow raised, apparently trying to decide whether he should let her enter the federal office or not. "Newbie," she mutters while walking into the elevator. Ziva takes a breath and selects the office floor. Slowly the elevator begins to move each number passing by the farther up she goes. One. Two. Three. She flips the emergency brake just before the fourth and final floor is reached. She paces in a circle once before giving the door a good kick and a single hit with the heel of her hand. She lays her head against it and slowly slides down. She sighs and burys her head in her hands fighting the urge to kill. Kill what? She did not know but she was angry and she was sad. All of her sadness was being channeled into anger though, therefore anger all but consumed her.

Ziva had been desperately wanting to return to America the entire time she was in Israel but now that she was in America she wanted to go back to Israel. In Israel she could not harm one of her loved ones. In Israel it would not be her fault if an injury or death fell upon one of her partners. In Israel she was not a danger to her friends. The only people who cared about her. The ones who had been doing everything in their power to protect her. Now she was not only a danger to everyone in the entire country of America but also to the ones who had been protecting her and of whom she had also strived to protect. Why could her father not just kill her? Why did he have to take an entire country along with her. He was killing her for discovering his intentions and now he was using her to carry out his plans. She was a puppet to him. The perfect addition to complete his sick play. The one character that he needed in order to bring it all together. It was her own father that wanted her dead. Something she had come to terms with, something that had not taken as long as it should have to come to terms with. He had done nothing to protect his wife, her mother, and he destroyed Ari. He knew that Tali would be killed in that bombing yet he did nothing to stop that. Ari's mother was also killed from this man. He had taken each and everyone of his family members life. Executing them all, slowly but surely and now she was last. Perhaps she should have been expecting it, preparing for the inevitable.

She still wondered why she had said those things to Tony months ago when they had had that conversation. One of which they had been very open with each other. Just raw feelings and emotions, no barriers. She had once believed those words, but the more she thought about what she had said, deciphered their very meaning. That is when she realized that a few years ago they would have been some of the truest words in her life, but now, at this time of her life they were so very far from the truth. Maybe she had not yet let go of her past. Because those demons still haunted her today, one was watching her every move at this very moment, but she knew, for once one hundred percent without a single doubt in her mind, that she was not alone, that things were inevitable. Sometimes things were just...Meant to be. Like soulmates. Ziva remembered that conversation very well. What the African woman had told her and how Ziva had wholeheartedly believed her. That was until they were there, at her soulmates house, and out he walked with an entire family. His 'soulmate' forgotten. It was things such as these that made Ziva question everything. Once she had thought that she had found the answer to something there was another thing that happened contradicting her belief.

Was there such a thing as safety? All her life she did not believe so and then once she started to trust in security she was shown just how wrong she was.

Was there such a thing as freedom? America was known for such a thing but no matter where you may be in the world, in your life, there seemed to always be some sort of chain that would hold you at a certain length, allow you of certain things.

Was there such a thing as hate? Ziva had been raised to hate, had lived hate, and yet she was still not certain if it was true. If your most despised enemy was about to walk into oncoming traffic would you not stop him?

Was there such a thing as love? Ziva used to love. When she was younger and slightly, ever so slightly, more carefree. Then when she lost that tiny bit of childful innocence she lost her last belief in love. She did not feel it existed, between couples, between parents and children, between anyone. Love did not exist. Then she met Tony and that same child like innocence was still there in him. He was goofy and could have fun, but, when need be, could be serious and so...Real. She believed in love again once she had met him. All of them, in fact. Abby was willing to pull anyone at any moment into a hug if she felt they needed it, regardless her feelings towards them or if she even knew them. The first time Ziva had ever really seen McGee show a powerful love towards anyone was when his sister was suspected for murder. Ziva had never seen such love and commitment between family members. Jenny showed love in her smile. She was tough when need be and she was sincere with her emotions. Ducky was so polite and kind to every soul that may cross his path. He showed love through his words, hidden meanings of caring. Such as when he would use their full names or offer them to have tea with him or if he would tell them a story of his past. Gibbs loved them all very much. He may not admit it with words but with his actions. When he smacked them on the back of the head or risked his life to save one of theirs. Tony shows his love with every gesture he made. Just the smallest thing could be interrupted in so many ways, at least for her. But the one thing that made her so sure that there was love was when she saw it. With her own eyes. Whether it was being exchanged by other or happening to her. When she would see Gibbs give Abby a hug when she was freaked or have Ducky sit her down and talk to him. When Tony would give McGee a compliment, or at least something that was not an insult, or see Jenny and Gibbs exchange a look. Those things made her believe in love. That it was, in fact, real.

She had probably been in the elevator for about twenty minutes now thinking all these thoughts through. Perhaps she should have just done so in her car. She stands up and flips the switch to its usual position. The elevator has once again lit up and the movement is felt. She braces herself as the doors open and she immediately glances around the room to see who is there. McGee is the only one there and he looks up at her, smiling and holding his hand up in a wave. She smiles when she remembers their conversation in the closet, or more so when she remembers what McGee had looked like. A mustache was not for him, simple as that. She begins to make her way out of the elevator and over to McGee but turns when she sees Gibbs walking her way. She smiles at him as he comes to a stop in front of her. "Hello, Ziva," Gibbs says The tiniest bit of anger in his voice. Ziva should have known that he would not be happy with her. After all that had happened she really could not blame him.

"Hello, Gibbs."

"How was your trip?" he questions.

"It was fine. Much warmer in Israel than it is here," she tells him. Ziva had suddenly felt uneasy around Gibbs, the way she did with her father. Perhaps she did not actually believe that he would be angry with her. How could she expect him to forgive her after such things had happened though?

"Well next time could ya do the courtesy of letting me know before you up and leave. I was short one agent all week," Gibbs says and Ziva can not help but smile when it dawns on her that he was not angry with her. He was angry at the Ziva she was being for up and leaving town. Gibbs could certainly act.

"Ah, yes it was a bit of an impromptu trip. I apologize, Gibbs."

"Well it's good to have you back, Ziva," he tells her and briefly pulls her into his arms. "It's a lot harder to get any work done with only two agents."

"I am sure it is hard. I am glad that I am back," she tells him. Hidden words with hidden meanings, it was the most that could be done while this microphone was on her. "Anything I can do to help get caught up?"

"There's some paperwork on your desk. Maybe unlike DiNozzo you can actually do it," Gibbs says and walks away leaving her and McGee together.

"Hey, Ziva. Was your, um, trip good?" he asks. Kind of like a question of a question.

"Yes, Tim it was rather plea sent." Aside from the handcuffs and being help against my will and having a strange man staring at me. Oh ad having guns pointed at me all day. Besides that very pleasent. Ziva adds in her mind not caring that Tony would tell her to slit the sarcasm.

"Glad," he says and then decides it would be for the best to not say anything else. He didn't want to blow her cover or whatever you wanted to call it.

Ziva looks down at her desk and sees three letters placed on it. One from Gibbs, one from Abby, and one from Tony. She smiled, never had she received such great "paperwork". Just as she is about to open the first one the elevators doors slide open revealing the usual upbeat Anthony DiNozzo.

"Good morning boys and girls," he says and flashes a DiNozzo smile to each of them. McGee does not even look up from his desk and Ziva gives him a strange look.

"You are rather hipper."

"Chipper, Ziva. Chipper," he tells her and she rolls her eyes at him as he takes his seat at his desk.

"It is close to the same, yes?"

"Not even close," Tony says and smiles a bit more at her. It amazed him just how quickly the two of them just fell into such peace so easily.

"Does it matter that much?" she asks and just as Tony is about to respond yet another ding from the elevator is heard followed by a certain forensics scientist's excited voice.

"Ziva!" she exclaims and doesn't even give Ziva the opportunity to stand up before engulfing her in a hug.

"I was only gone a for a week Abby," Ziva says but happily returns the hug.

"Well a week is a long time."

"Yes, I suppose it is," Ziva says as Abby finally releases her death grip on Ziva."

"I missed you. It's not as much fun when you're the only girl around."

"Yes, Abby I have missed you too," Ziva tells her and looks down at the letters, her impatience getting the better of her. Abby smiles at her and walks over to McGee's desk and starts to talk to him about their online fight from the other day. One of which she beat him at, of course.

Ziva lifts the first letter but is once again interrupted by her cell phone ringing. She sighs taking the letters from her desk and placing them in her back pack. They would just have to wait until later. "Shalom," she says into her cell phone as she walked over to the corner of the staircase. A place that had become a common conversation place for the A team.

"Ah, Ziva. Good to see that you are wise enough to answer your phone."

"I am at work," she tells him in a sharp tone.

"I know I can see your location. I just thought I should remind you what is at stake if you reveal what is to be kept between us."

"It is hard to forget when you see everyone you care about with gun targets around their heads."

"Just remember, bat, a mistake will cost many lives not just your own."

"A mistake from me? No, these are your choices."

"Careful what you say, Ziva. I am not appreciating your tone." That was close to as much as Ziva could take. She opens her mouth to give him an earful of just what she thought when Gibbs came around the corner.

"Back to work, David," Gibbs tells her and she smiles thankfully at him.

"I am ever aware, Director David," and with that Ziva hits the call end button. A rather long minute and forty-eight seconds of her life. She walks back to her desk and sits down. Ziva sighs and lays her head in her hands. She wanted this to end. Enough for her was enough. This had been much more than enough.

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A little shorter than I had anticipated but besides that I think I am actually fairly happy with the outcome of this chapter. Weird huh? Thank you all for the reviews and alerts and favorites that you have been sending me. I appreciate a lot. So review and tell me what you thought :)