Harry was quiet that night as they ate dinner together, but he wasn't upset. It just seemed as if he had something to say but was thinking about how to say it.

"How did your exams go?" Severus tried to open conversation. Harry smiled and nodded.

"I think they went really well, the practical side of it anyway." He chuckled and Snape narrowed his eyes at that. "I'm sure I did ok in the other parts too." He said calmly. It seemed Harry finally gathered the courage to talk to him about what he really wanted to say because he put his fork down and looked up at him. He opened his mouth and then closed it, as if reconsidering his words.

"What is it?" Severus asked, starting to get annoyed at him.

"Severus…" Harry started. "In a week and a half… school will be over, I'd been thinking what I wanted to do, and I really want to go travelling." He finally managed. And there it was, Severus' worst fears confirmed. The other really was so young.

Severus picked up his cup of wine and took a sip. "Go then."

He carried on eating casually, the silence settling over them. When he looked up at Harry he saw him eyeing him confused.

"No, I meant, why don't we both go? I've always really wanted to see other countries… like a long holiday." He said.

"I can't go, Potter." He said. He saw how Harry's lips twitched, as if finding it difficult to keep smiling.

"Why not?"

"I'm headmaster, I can't just leave for a whole year." He said. Harry was unable to look up at him any longer and once more picked up his fork, but merely to push his food around the plate.

"Well then… maybe during the school holidays?" he asked.

"Draco's wedding is this summer." He reminded him.

"…Alright then, it was a stupid idea anyway." Harry said not looking up at him. No, he couldn't do this to him.

"You have to go. It's what you've always wanted to do. It's not stupid." He looked up at this but Harry avoided his eyes.

"Can't you take a year off?" He mumbled. "I thought teachers were entitled for a year off… and you've never taken it…"

"And how do you know that? Did you ask if I had taken a holiday before asking me if I wanted to travel?" Severus asked and Harry's stomach twisted uncomfortably looking up at him with a frown. Feeling as if he'd done something wrong. Well, he did go behind the other's back and ask about him.

"I really want to go with you." He said. Severus' heart clenched. He wanted to say yes, he wanted to take a year off just for him but he had to be realistic, he couldn't just leave the school for a year. And he couldn't keep Harry here.

"I can't go, Harry. You should go." He said with a final tone.

Harry's frown turned into a glare. "I get it. You don't want to spend time with me." He whispered, Harry knew. "You really do believe everything Narcissa told you! Told me!" He exclaimed.

"Have you been eavesdropping too?" Snape asked with narrowed eyes, the image of spoilt, stuck-up Potter returning to his head.

"What does it matter?" Harry exclaimed. "You agree with her don't you! That I'm too young for you, that I'm just a boy! That I can't make you happy!"

"Yes!" Severus yelled back. Harry jumped looking at him shocked. Severus then registered the last one Harry said. He hadn't meant to agree to that one, but what good did it do to take it back now. "I don't want to travel and I don't want to hold you back. So you will go."

"Well I don't need your permission to go! I'm going with or without you!" Harry said glaring at him, not wanting to admit for a second that Severus might be right.

"Good." Severus said. Harry felt his heart break right there. Maybe if he told him 'I love you' it would make everything better.

"I… I love you…" He mumbled. Instead of the wanted effect, Severus looked up at him in anger.

"How dare you try to manipulate me with words you don't feel?" He asked. Harry felt his mouth go dry, unable to find the words to defend himself. "Get out, Potter." He hissed.

"W-wait… Severus I…" Harry reached for him but Severus pulled away from him. Harry flinched when he saw him pull back and looked away. "… Narcissa was right… I'm not a good match for you." Harry whispered.

Severus stilled his anger, almost looking at him with some confusion.

"You should go meet that friend she wanted to introduce to you." He whispered. The silence was deafening in the headmaster's office. The portraits themselves seemed to hold their breath.

Severus came over to him, reaching to cup his cheek and look at him for a long time. Harry looked at him with tear-filled eyes. They both wanted this to work, but how when they were so different? Severus leaned in and pressed their lips together. Maybe… if he gave himself to him… the other wouldn't want to leave him.

It seemed that one time Severus did read his mind, because he looked as horrified as Harry felt at the idea that Harry would force himself to do something he wasn't comfortable with just to keep Severus. It wasn't a healthy relationship.

"Go Harry…" Severus said finally. Harry let the tears roll down his cheeks and shook his head.

"I don't want to…" He whimpered.

"Go." Severus whispered once more, leaning in and kissing his forehead.

Harry sobbed and pulled away, his soul raging against its confinements to not pull away from its other half. But he did. He turned away and walked out of the headmaster's office. Severus watched him go until he was out of sight.

That was that then. That's the second time he lets those eyes leave his life. This time it was even more painful than the rest.

-o-O-o-

Harry made it to Gryffindor tower, going into his bed, pulling the curtains ignoring the questioning eighth years looking at him in shock. Seeing that he was upset most of them left, leaving only Ron. Ron walked over and climbed in through the curtains to find his find crying behind a silencing spell. Once he passed the curtains he heard the other's heart-wrenching sobs. He simply lay down beside him and held him close.

It took a long time for him to calm down, but when he did, he told Ron everything. Ron was angry at the two of them.

"I shouldn't go… I'll apologise to him. I want to be with him." Harry whimpered.

"No Harry. In that at least I agree with Professor Snape. You should go on your trip. You need a breather from the magical world." Ron said gently. Harry sobbed but eventually agreed.

"So after Luna and Draco's wedding then…" Harry said gently. Ron nodded.

"Sounds like a plan, but write to us. Oh, and keep April the twenty second free." Ron said. Harry looked up at him and chuckled.

"Spring wedding huh?" He mumbled.

"Best time of the year, or that's what Hermione says anyway." Ron chuckled. Harry smiled, happy for his friends, but with a throbbing in his head. He himself would have preferred a summer wedding, when all the flowers were already in bloom and the weather was nice.

But now he wondered if that would ever happen, with that thought in mind he started crying again, and all Ron could do was hold him close until he fell asleep.