A/N: Sorry for not updating in forever! I will be updating every Saturday from here on out. I'm not entirely happy with Hermione's list, so suggestions for improvement are very welcome! I am looking for a Beta for this fic, so please let me know if you are interested.
For Aaya123Woods and witchynadeen.
1. Ask Hermione if Ron has ever come home smelling like lavender.
2. Announce that Death Eaters burned down the Hogwarts library in a loud voice.
3. Tell her that the library is closed for an indefinite period. Then announce that you are headed to the library.
4. Proclaim that studying, and school in general, is worthless.
5. Call her "Mudblood."
6. Claim that House Elves don't need rights.
7. Butcher her name into "'Mione,' and 'Hermy.' Ignore her attempts to correct your pronunciation of her name.
8. Tell her and Ron to get a room whenever they start arguing. Repeat with anyone with whom she gets into an argument.
9. Ask her if there is a difference between a ferret and a weasel.
10. Show her a M-rated fanfiction involving her and Bellatrix. Then tell her that the pairing has a really cute name, "Bellamione."
12. Call her Hermione Snape and correct anybody who says Granger. Especially Professor Snape.
13. Repeat with Draco Malfoy, Sirius Black, and anyone else you can think of.