For Red Furry Demon, my amazing Beta!
1. Repeatedly claim that you have no idea who he is in a loud voice.
2. Ask him how much time he spends in front of a mirror every morning.
3. Announce in a loud voice, in the Great Hall, at breakfast, that he spends more time on his makeup in the morning than Cho Chang.
4. Repeat Number Three with the fact that he slept his way to success.
5. Ask him if he had enough magic to be accepted at Hogwarts.
6. Dye his hair black, and ask if he 'has some blonde under there.'
7. Change the title of 'Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pests' into 'Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Hair Curling'.
8. Replace all of the pictures of him in his classroom with pictures of Filch. Comment on how cute he looks, how absolutely darling.
9. Ask 'him' why he likes to dress in drag, we can all tell that he is female.
10. Send an anonymous Howler to him during dinner asking just what he had to do to become a professor.