Okay, so I recently received some negative feedback on this story. Firstly, one commented on the POV change. It will be most likely changing from either the main character(s) POV, and every now and then to 'god's eye'. The first chapter was written in god's eye because the main characters weren't present, so naturally I'd make the second chapter in Emiko's POV. Second, you might view my character as Mary Sue, or think that I've made an attempt to "put my own life into the story". I have done no such thing, nor do I plan on making my character out like she's perfect. She will have her strong points as well as her flaws. I do have a plan guys, I'm not just making this up as I go along... well, for most parts anyway. And, I have not labelled my story incorrectly by adding Hinata and Naruto to the main character slots – it just wouldn't let me have two OC as the main characters, and they are the closest to main characters that I plan on having. But if you read the summary, is only mentions Naruto once. Does that mean that I am "falsely advertising" my story just so I can get views? I could not care less about the views, and write for my own satisfaction and personal accomplishment. So yeah, a bit disappointed that 2 out of the 3 reviews I have received were negative feedback, but I'm glad that people are actually taking the time to read it! Give me a chance to prove to you that this story will actually have some depth to it.
I sat on the porch of my room, staring out at the rain. It was unrelenting. It never showed any signs of seizing, or easing up. It fell in continuous, thick and heavy droplets like an everlasting storm of blood. The eternal grey clouds had always covered the sky – I'm not even sure I knew what colour the sky was supposed to be; orange? Pink? Green? Brown? Not like it mattered anyway, I wouldn't get the chance to see it if I continued to stay in this country that always cries. Amegakure. It was said it began to rain eternally during the third shinobi war, and never stopped since, because the country was always crying for its land that was ravaged by war.
I sighed. I wished that I could even dream about a place far, far away from here, where trees grew in the warm rays of the sun, and the rain never lasted longer than a day or night. A place where war hadn't destroyed most of its landscape, transforming it into a barren, muddy and humid wasteland. A least in the desert you could experience the feeling of dry sand in between your toes, rather than soggy sludge. Where the lakes weren't overflowing with water and paths were actually accessible. If I could even dream of a place like that, imagine it and escape to it every now and then, I would feel as though I were living a tolerable life. But that was impossible because I had never been anywhere else but here, so I wouldn't have a clue what any of these happier sensations felt like.
"Kazuya-sama," a faint voice broke my revelry. Our youngest servant, a six year old girl named Chiyaki, stood behind me in the arch of the doorway, with her head bowed. She was my father's most recent souvenir from war, and the daughter of a feudal lord from Kumogakure. He had claimed the child at the age of five, and after half a year of incessant sobs and failed attempts at escape, she finally realised, like they all do eventually, that there was no hope of returning to their old home. She wore a simple white kimono, symbolizing her purity.
"Your father has summoned you."
I exhaled noisily. I gripped my katana in my left hand, while pushing myself up off my position on the porch. I followed the small girl through the screen doors, and she shut them behind us, to keep the humid air out and preserve the cool, stale atmosphere of our home. The little light that poured in through clear windows fixed in to our roof was still hazy and not very intense due to the thin layer of mildew that covered it, so our home was in a constant state of darkness. Even worse than that, with every room I passed down the dim, narrow hallway all I could hear were soft whimpering and sobs, accompanied by loud thuds and cruel chuckling echoing all throughout the hall. Every now and then a high-pitched shriek would sound through the house, but quickly followed by thunderous thumps and bangs. I grated my teeth, while Chiyaki covered her ears in fear at the sounds emitting from each room. We passed a young girl, probably only a year younger than me, leaning against the doorway to a recently occupied room. Her clothes were tattered, her seemingly youthful painted face streaked with tears. However that wasn't what made my fists clench, my blood boil to the point where I wanted to just annihilate whoever did this. Her cheeks were bruised; her lip had a gash that bled and dripped all over her dark grey kimono and her eye throbbed viciously. Not only that, but through the rips in her clothes I caught sight of several massive bruises covering her body and deep cuts that looked as though they had just missed vital organs. She whimpered violently, shaking and shivering in the doorway as she waited for a medical ninja to heal her, and for the torture to start all over again.
As we crossed into the next section of the property, Chiyaki uncovered her ears as soon as the sounds were behind us. I caught sight of a single tear running down her young face. I felt ashamed. We arrived to a screen door guarded by two men in heavy armour, the entrance barely lit by two single floor lanterns. They slid back the screen, and I stepped through, dismissing Chiyaki.
The room yielded no light at all, the windows and screen doors having been reinforced to purposely keep the light out. The rough carpet was a light beige colour, and the walls were painted with murals of cherry blossom trees in full bloom. It was pitch-black room, so none of these qualities that would separate it from a torture chamber were seen. My eyes that were so naturally adjusted to this darkness that I saw the figure at the end of the room straight away, sitting in his throne of gold while two women in chains cowered at his feet. I approached him directly, stopping only a few metres away from the frightened, snivelling women.
"Must you treat them like this?" I demanded of the figure, though I knew my attempt was futile.
A deep, menacing laugh echoed through the room. "Like what? These women must know their place in our world, Kazuya. They must know what it feels like to suffer as our ancestor suffered. They must learn to respect the darkness, to obey it." He replied curtly. "I have no time for your silly ideals today. I have called you hear because of an important matter. As you know, tomorrow is your sixteenth birthday. Tomorrow you will inherit the legacy that our great ancestors left behind specifically for you. If the prophecy is correct then you will be the end of our plight, the very final one. You will be the one to lead us into a new era."
I stared at the katana in my hands, churning the thought around in my head. I wasn't sure if I was ready for such a... big fate. Was it really what I truly wanted? I knew it was what I was born, what I was created for; I could feel it resonating deep within my bones. The undeniable urge, the flaming desire, the burning hatred... it was the reason I lived, I knew that much. Or did I? It had been programmed in to me since I was a mere baby, still crying out for a mother's embrace that would never come. Suddenly I was very doubtful of my ability to lead our clan to its destiny.
"I-I don't know father... I don't think I can do this. Can we not get someone else, maybe Takeshi, or-"
My father stomped his foot thunderously, causing the floor to vibrate. The women whimpered even louder. My head snapped up immediately, and I could feel the waves of hatred and pure darkness that rolled off my father and hit me with full force. I gasped as memories washed through my brain, images that were incomprehensive yet very familiar. A hazy image of a woman's smiling face, the colour of blood, the high-pitched screams coming from various rooms, and a dark emptiness consuming me. I yelled at my father to stop, but he continued to focus his black, piercing eyes on me to the point where I was the one moaning on the ground, begging for release from this cursed genjutsu. He shut his eyes, ending the spell. I struggled to my feet, not being able to find the right words to say to my spiteful father. My rage engulfed the room in a cold, nothingness. I tried to control it by reeling back in the feelings of hatred and malice, but my body trembled intensely, radiating rays of darkness and filling the air with a cold chill. My father laughed to himself, and the sound was like a slap in the face to a person having a hysterical fit for me, and brought me back to reality. I calmed myself down, slowly urging the darkness to return to its dwelling within my body. He snapped his fingers, and a flame appeared. Though small and not very bright, it filled the room with radiance and I gasped in horror. The walls were not painted with murals of cherry blossom trees in full bloom, but hanging in chains around the room were around twenty or so women. All were naked, bruised and bloodied. Some were to the point of starvation, nothing more than bones protruding out of flesh. Some looked as though their injuries were fresh. The areas where they were bound by chains – their necks, wrists, and ankles – were bleeding because the metal had cut deep in to their skin from the force of gravity pulling them towards the ground while the chains tried to keep them suspended there. Most were unconscious, save for the few who were breathing very shallowly.
"This is the fate of women. They may be the givers of life, but we still control their death. This is how it always was, since the beginning of mankind." He paused, reaching for one of the girl's faces. She stared up at him with frightful eyes, silently pleading with him to let her go. With a sharp twisting action, and a crack, father broke her neck, and then chuckled. I wished he would extinguish the light, to hide the mangled bodies around him.
"Your destiny is to lead us in to a new era of darkness, after generations and generations of bloodshed. You will finish this mission, whether you want to or not, and trust me, you will definitely want to."
I was at my limit and shouted, "what do you know about me?! You don't know if I will want to kill or not!"
My father looked up at me again, this time with an amused expression, an evil humour glinting in his soulless eyes. An insane grin crept on to his dark face.
"Tomorrow, on your sixteenth birthday, you will develop a blazing yearning that will set your blood on fire and give you the strength to complete your duty. This desire can only be satiated by one sensation."
"What?! What is this duty and destiny that I must complete?"
"To usher in a new era of darkness, we must extinguish any light that may create hope. To satisfy your incurable longing... you must kill the descendant of the light."
Okaaaaay, chapter three is posted! I finally got around to establishing the initial plot, so everything from here should run smoothly. I have already began chapter four and am about a quarter of the way through, so expect an update tomorrow :) Please leave your thoughts in a review!