As soon as Felicity's lips touched his own Oliver Queen was ruined. The sweet taste of her strawberry lipstick had engulfed him so completely that for a moment he lost all sense of who and where he was. All that mattered was the sensation that those lips brought out in him. More than once he had fantasized what it would it be like to have Felicity wrapped in his arms and now all of a sudden it was a reality. He couldn't help basking in it.
When they finally separated Felicity looked up at him with a glowing smile. She reached up and affection ally traced her hand on cheek. Oliver did his best to hide the whirlwind of emotions that were swirling in his head.
"Wow." She said breathily. "That was even better than I imagined."
Oliver cupped his hand over the hand she had against his cheek. Whatever else he felt, Oliver had to admit that the kiss was good. Better than good in fact. It was probably the first time in his life that he had completely let himself get lost in the person he was kissing. In the past he had always kept his guard up, always keeping a part of himself reserved and hidden.
Even with Laurel had only seen the part of him that she wished to see. Granted she always saw the best in him even when no one else could but it was only one facet of himself. Perhaps that was one if the reasons he had panicked when she had suggested they move in together. He had been afraid to let her see all of him. His relationship with Sarah was more about lust and self destruction than anything else. He knew his father was right when he had told him things would not end well for either sister or himself. He supposed he half expected that. Even Shado knew little about him. The Oliver she knew was the one the island had created. Circumstances forced him to be a weapon, a weapon that she and Slade helped forge.
With Felicity things were vastly different. He had approached her because he had needed her help. He was worried at first his ridiculous lies and excuses would alienate her but instead she continued to help him. Even before he had finished doing his homework on her he had already felt that he could trust her. He couldn't explain it completely but he knew that she would be there for him. That was one of the reasons he knew he could trust her with his identity although Felicity would probably argue that he didn't have much choice since his own mother had shot him.
She was unlike anyone he had been with. They were vastly different. Her blonde hair, short skirts, bright lipstick and finger nails were a stark contrast to his normally dark attire. He was always quiet and brooding while she could never seem to stop speaking even when her ramblings sounded like sexual innuendos. She always seemed full of life while he death seemed to constantly circle him. Despite all their differences they became fast friends. Everything just seemed to be easier with her.
She had originally said that she would only be a part of their team until they rescued Walter. She stayed long after that and even went as far as air dropping into Lian Yu with Diggle in order to bring him back. She had said that the city needed him back, that Queen consolidated needed him back, that Thea needed him back. For some reason he could almost hear her say that she needed him back. How he wished that, even in the middle of his grief, she had said those words out loud.
In the months after his return Oliver could sense something change in how he saw her. It was gradual and at first he didn't quite understand it. When that pesky kid Barry showed up from Central City, Oliver was surprised to find he was actually jealous. In the time he had know. Felicity he had almost always had her for himself. He never had competition for her attention before and he immediately realized that he did not like it. Oliver said that Barry seemed suspicious when he had Diggle investigate but it was only because Felicity was smitten with him. Even now Oliver could remember seething while he watched Barry and Felicity dance together. He couldn't help to think that it should be his arms around Felicity, twirling to the sound of the music. Her voice saying yang she did not want to dance with him had echoed in his head for days.
But now things were different. Here they were finally in each other's arms. It was perfect. Perfect Exocet for the fact he wasn't being honest with her. He was setting her up for a lot of heart ache. It didn't matter if he survived for weeks or months because eventually Felicity would lose him. He knew her well enough to realize that such a loss would destroy her.
"Earth to Oliver." Felicity said softly. "You still with me?"
Oliver nodded. "Why don't we go have some dinner?" He hoped that a change of scenery would at least give him a break from the inner turmoil.
Felicity feigned some shock. "Is Oliver Queen asking me out on a date? Are you sure you want to have dinner with me? There is probably a long line of models who want to spend time with a billionaire like you."
Oliver laughed. "Yes but none of them are as pretty as the blonde IT girl standing in front of me." He realized belatedly that he was digging himself into an even deeper hole.
Felicity loved hearing him laugh. If there was anyone who deserved happiness it was Oliver. "Okay let me grab my tablet and coat."
Just as Felicity was leaving Oliver's office his cell phone rang. She turned just in time to see his the terrified look on his face when he checked the caller id. It was gone so quickly that Felicity was unsure if she had really seen it.
Oliver smiled at her. "I need to take this. I'll meet you at the elevator."
She almost walked back to ask who was calling but she didn't want to sound like a nosy girlfriend when they haven't even had a first date yet. The thought of being called Oliver's girlfriend borough butterflies to her stomach. She mentally cautioned herself not to get too much ahead of herself. It was just a date. It was just one kiss. One amazing kiss. A kiss that she probably would never forget. She felt her cheeks start to flush so she nodded to Oliver quickly and went to retrieve her things while he finished his phone call.
"Barry?" Oliver had been dreading this call. Barry had been working day and night to figure out how much longer Oliver had. While he tried to be optimistic and hope for a few months, he had his doubts. He needed as much time as he could get to put his affairs in order.
"O-Oliver." Barry sounded like he was choking on his own tears. "I finished with my analysis."
Oliver did not like the way Barry's voice sounded. He knew he's was about to get some bad news. "It's okay, Barry. I know you are doing all you can. Even it's only a month I-"
Barry didn't let him finish. "You don't have a month, Oliver."
The color drained from Oliver's face. "What do you mean?"
"I'm sorry Oliver. I'll keep working nonstop of course but it's just not enough time."
"How much time?!" Oliver shouted.
"Days. Two or three weeks at most. I'm so sorry." Barry said, haltingly.
Oliver was in shock. He knew he didn't have much time left but this just wasn't fair.
"What's wrong?" Felicity had heard him shout and had come running back into the room. When she saw how pale he was she immediately dropped all her things and rushed towards him.
"Thank you. Do whatever you can please." Oliver said as normally as he could as he hung up the phone. "I'm sorry Felicity but I'm going to need a rain check on dinner."
"Okay but what-" before Felicity could finish new question Oliver was past and through the elevator doors. As the doors closed she was certain she again saw the terrified look on his face. She couldn't help but wonder if it was her Oliver was running from.
The Starling City was out with a vengeance that night. Nothing escaped his notice. He had stopped three muggings and a robbery. He had intended to be lenient with them but that changed quickly once the punches started flying. He disregarded the fact that physically he was now stronger than any normal human. With little or no effort the Hood punched, kicked, and through his victims into unconsciousness. He could literally hear bones breaking when he hit them. It didn't bother him at all. In fact he almost reveled in it. He took out his anger and frustrations on the would be criminals. Most of them would not be walking again anytime soon much less pulling off any crimes. He left them bloody and broken. They were fortunate to be even alive. The only things that really stopped him from killing that night was the knowledge that Felicity would know from the news if he took a life.
But even the carnage of the nights events did not ease his frustrations of life. He sat silently on a random rooftop, sheltered by the shadows. He watched people go about their business and he was jealous. How lucky they were that they had time to do what they needed to do. How lucky were they that they could go home to the people they loved and tell them how they felt. It didn't help that his cell phone would ring almost constantly. He knew his friends were looking for him. By now the news crews would have reported on the Hood's exploits so his friends would know that he was out on patrol. They would search for him but he had disconnected the tracking device in his boot before he left. He did not want to be disturbed this night. He did not want to hear the voice of the woman he now knows he loves.
He would never get that chance to tell her now. He had all but decided that Felicity can never know how he really feels about her. No good could come out of it. He could not give her the life she deserved. He couldn't give her any kind of life at all. All he had to offer was misery and heart ache. He already knew what he had to do. A plan had formulated in his head. A plan to ensure that his friends were well taken care of even after he was gone.
As much as it hurt him to do so Oliver had to act quickly. There was no telling how or when Barry's prediction would come to pass.
His passing would certainly hurt his mom and Thea but at least financially they were well taken care of. His trust fund would immediately pass on to Thea. She, of course, would take over Queen Consolidated once she came of age. That is provided that Isabel Rochev didn't gut the company before then but he he had a plan for that as well.
He would reward Diggle by giving him half of the ownership of the club. He would also stay on to protect his family and Felicity. There was no telling if anyone of the plethora of villains he had taken would seek retribution against Felicity and his family should they ever find out who the Hood truly was. It was strange how often he used Felicity's name in the same sentence as the rest of his family. He supposed that's who she was to him now. Family.
Felicity. He wanted to make sure that she would have no issues once he was gone. Tomorrow he would call a meeting and promote Felicity to VP of applied sciences and Research and Development. This probably would not sit well with Isabel who was not shy about voicing her disdain for Felicity. Isabel would waste no time in getting rid of Felicity once he was gone. To combat that Oliver would have to make more additions to his will. It would read that should anything happen to him then Felicity would inherit his position at Queen Consolidated in addition to her duties as VP until such a time that Thea was ready to take over. He would ensure that Thea knew how important Felicity was to him and that she should be allowed to keep her VP position as long as she wanted it. He didn't know how much Thea knew about his feelings for Felicity but he suspected that she already had some inkling. How could she not when Felicity spent all day with all Oliver at work and then seemed to come and go at will when we Oliver was at the club as well.
His thoughts had preoccupied him so much that Oliver eventually fell asleep right where he was perched. His illness and the exertion both taxed him more than he thought. In his dreams one thought still haunted him. How was he supposed to say goodbye to his friends and family? How was he suppose to let go of the woman whose lips he could still taste?
He woke up suddenly to the sound of cars honking angrily at one another. The sun was just beginning to rose over the horizon. He was so startled that he thought all of last nights events had been a bad dream but the dried blood that trailed from his mouth said otherwise. Before he even left the rooftop he sent out an email calling for a meeting of QC executives.
Instead of going back to the club Oliver made for the car he had parked nearby. He was glad he had some spare clothes in there because he suspected that his friends may have been waiting for him at Verdant. He changed quickly and tried to look as presentable as possible. It wasn't of his best suites but it would do for now.
Oliver had to wait at Queen Consolidated for quite awhile before the company's officers started arriving. Belatedly he remembered that Felicity may not show up at work if she had been waiting for him at Verdant. He quickly switched his phone back on long enough to send her a message to meet him at the office. Oliver hoped that the promotion would at least alleviate her anger at him for not telling anyone where he was. She had never wanted to be his executive assistant in the first place so he was glad he could reward her with a proper position. One that used her knowledge and skills properly.
The meeting had already been well underway by the time Felicity came running into the conference room. She looked tired and disheveled. Her eyes immediately went to Oliver's but he barely acknowledged her. She tried to keep a straight face on but internally she was seething at Oliver for not letting anyone know he was okay. She hoped that no one noticed that she had the a name clothes on as the day before although Isabel probably already had. She was about to take her usual seat when Isabel spoke up.
"Well if it isn't the woman of the hour. I suppose congratulations are in order." Though her voice was cordial both Oliver and Felicity could make out the spite and sarcasm that lined it.
Felicity scrunched up her eyes in confusion as the other executives walked up to her and shook her hand in congratulations. More than offered to help her in anyway they can in her new position. If anyone of them suspected something was going between her and Oliver then this all but confirmed it. They realized that Felicity was a permanent part of Oliver's life now and they wasted no time in ingraining themselves.
"New position?" Felicity looked at Oliver again, still confused at what was going on.
"Yes." Oliver said, standing. He smiled at her but it was a weak one that did not reflect in his eyes. "I just informed everyone that I have decided to promote you to Vice President of applied sciences and the head of our new Research and Development Division. There was no way I would have been able to return this company back to being a profitable one without your help. I'm sure with your new division the company's market position will soar."
A round of applause filled the room but Felicity barely heard it. Her heart was pounding. She was confused and angry but she hid it in check.
After a few more medial comments from the other executives Oliver called the meeting to a close and headed out the door, avoiding Felicity's gaze the entire time. She followed him to the elevators and held her hand up as others were trying to get on the elevator with them. Her stare did not prompt any arguments.
The elevator ride was filled with tension. She wanted to reach out and touch him. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and explain to her why he was hurting her like this. He said nothing.
Once they were back in his office Felicity could. It hold it in any longer. "What's going on Oliver?"
He feigned confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Why are you trying to get rid of me? I thought we had a great thing going here?" She closed the distance and placed her hand on his arm. She wouldn't let him avoid this conversation.
"Isn't this what you wanted? You were always complaining the executive assistant position was below you." Oliver tried to reassure. "This is for the best."
"Was it because we kissed? Was it too much?" A hundred different thoughts ran into her head. "You don't have to push me away. I mean we can just forget-"
Oliver stopped her right there. If there was one thing he was sure of it was that he never wanted to forget that kiss but he had to ensure that it also never happens again. "I just think that it's better if you spend your time dealing with normal everyday problems. This way you won't have to worry about how I spend my nights."
"But our nights together are my favorite part of this job." Felicity shook her head quickly and tried to ignore yet another sexual innuendo.
"I refuse to risk your life anymore Felicity. This is for the best. Trust me." Oliver tried to move his arm away from her but she held firm.
Felicity couldn't hold her anger in any longer. "No. It's more than that. I saw how scared you were after we kissed last night. You're just afraid to admit that you feel something for me so you are pushing me away instead. I won't let you, Oliver."
Oliver tried to steady himself for what he was about to say. He knew her enough to know that she wouldn't let this go easily. He had to say it for her own sake. "Last night was a mistake Felicity."
The words cut her into her very should. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes.
"We don't belong together. You need to find someone else, someone good for you." Oliver pointed at her and himself. "This. Us. It was never in the plan."
Felicity couldn't bear what she was hearing. After all that they had been through together she couldn't believe that he would her like that. "You know what?! You are right! I'm going to find someone who isn't scared to admit their feelings for me! You're running away from me just like you ran away from Laurel when you took Sarah on your god forsaken yacht."
Oliver did his best to not react to what she said. He stood as still as statue. His face blank and passive.
Felicity ripped her arm from him and walked to the door. "Maybe I'll go spend a few days with Barry. How about that? Its time I took him up on that standing invitation for a date."
The image of Felicity in someone else's arms brought out made him clench his fist but still he held firm. "If you think that's it's for the best. You have plenty of vacation days available."
Felicity searched his face for any sign at all that he wanted her to stay. There was no jealousy, no feeling at all. She had enough. "I hate you, Oliver."
It was the last thing she said before storming out. She was trying to wipe the tears out from under glasses as she ran from the office and almost ran right into a smiling Isabel.
"That's no way for a new Vice President to talk to the CEO." Isabel looked so smug that Felicity thought about punching her right then and there. She would have loved to try a few of those moves that Diggle fought her.
Instead Felicity just pushed her angrily out of the way. Before the doors closed to the elevator she could Isabel speaking to Oliver. "I have a lost of potential replacements for the executive assistant position."
Felicity hung her head low. She was already being replaced.
Oliver listened as the elevator doors closed as he say down on his chair. That conversation was more painful to him that being shot with an arrow. He heard Isabel speak to Felicity but he did nothing to intercede. He hated not standing up for her.
"So." Isabel said as she sat seductively on his desk. "Got any plans tonight?"
The glare on his faces stopped Isabel from saying anything else. Oliver let her see a little behind the care free facade he had always shown her. In his eyes Isabel saw unbridled anger and rage. She read them clearly enough. "Get out while you are still able to walk out."
For the first time in as long she could remember Isabel was taken aback and intimated. She wasted no time in leaving his office.
Oliver sat alone on his desk, staring through the glass to where Felicity used to sit. He would never again be able to see her sitting there, scrunched face at her tablet as she tried to work out whatever problem she was fixing. In the silence of his empty office Oliver Queen wondered if dying would at least full the pain of a broken heart.
a/n please review and let me know if you like it. Is it too much? Keep going? Sorry for all the drama and angst but Oliver and Felicity are my favorite pairing.