Arrow chapter 5
A/N Okay., I had a really hard time with this one. I couldn't seem to get the proper emotion out from this chapter. Please let me know what you think? If it's not good enough I will delete it and try to rewrite it. Thanks.
Barry quietly watched the gorgeous blonde in front of him absent-mindedly play with her food. Normally he would have been concerned if a woman he was having dinner with had barely said a full sentence to him but in this particular case he understood. In fact, he understood more than Felicity did. Even through the well done make-up he could see the fatigue that lined her face. To anyone who looked closely enough it was obvious that she had shed more than a few tears recently. When he had asked her if she was okay she simply smiled at him and told him that life in Starling City was just a little more stressful than usual. She told him that she appreciated him taking her to dinner so that she could take a break from everything that was going in her life. Barry could only smile back and say it was his pleasure. There was a time when he would have wanted nothing more than to date Felicity Smoak but even as she came to visit him while he was recovering from the lightning strike it became clear that she would never look at him in the same as she did Oliver. He couldn't blame her. He was a billionaire and a genuine hero and Barry was sure that Oliver felt the same way about Felicity. Why else would he risk it all for her? He had been sure that the two of them would eventually end up together even though they were both to stubborn to make the first move. Yes, Oliver belonged with Felicity and all he needed was the time to realize it.
But it was time that Oliver did not have. In truth, Barry found everything that was going on so tragic that he almost wished that he didn't have to be in the middle of it all. Almost anyway. As soon as Oliver told him what had happened Barry worked non-stop in an effort to help him but so far everything he tried had failed. It didn't help that Barry still had trouble controlling his newfound speed. More than once Barry had broken a vial or spilled its contents because he was not used to moving at such enormous speeds.
It wasn't until felicity had called him to invite him to dinner that Barry finally comprehended the reasoning behind his somewhat cryptic message. It was painfully obvious now that Oliver did not want Felicity knowing that his body was breaking down. Barry didn't know all the details but he suspected that Oliver was doing everything he can to push Felicity away from him. As Barry ate his meal he couldn't help but wonder which of Oliver's sacrifices was more painful. Dying for the woman he loved or pretending that he didn't care about to spare her from the pain of his death. Barry knew that he would never be able to put on his red outfit again without asking himself if he would ever be strong enough to make the choices that Oliver had.
Suddenly the news feed from the TV nearby interrupted his train of thought. In other news, the Starling City Vigilante was back in action today as he foiled a would-be mugger. The lone eye witness, the female victim, claimed that the Vigilante appeared disoriented and a little confused. She also claimed that her attacker had shot the Starling City Vigilante but as no blood or body was found by the police such claims are unsubstantial. As for her claims that the Vigilante was disoriented, it is this reporter's opinion that this confirms that the Starling City vigilante belongs in a mental asylum. More details after the break…..
"Don't listen to him. That reporter was a moron." Barry looked at her sympathetically. "Do you want to call him to make sure he is okay?"
Felicity looked as though she wanted to but thought better of it. "Dig would have called me if something was wrong."
"Don't worry, I know that Oliver isn't crazy." Barry wanted to believe what he had just told her but he knew that the deterioration of his body could quite possibly be affecting his coordination if not his mind.
"Yeah, well that makes one of us." Felicity said in a voice was too low for him to hear.
A few hours later the two friends found themselves back in Barry's lab. It was getting pretty late but Felicity had insisted that she wasn't in the least bit tired yet. With no other ideas of where to go she asked if she could see where he worked.
"It's not as nice as the lab you have under Verdant." Barry said apologetically as he swiped his keycard to open the door to his lab.
Saying that his lab wasn't as nice was an understatement. Unlike the lair, Barry's office was cold and damp. Buckets littered the ground to catch the water that seemed to be leaking from multiple pots in the ceiling. Cold air seemed to drift freely in through the skylight that had yet to be repaired from the lightning strike. A stack of wood that could have only been broken shelves still lay cluttered in one side. The only things that seemed to be somewhat in decent shape was a work table that had numerous vials on it as well as a large white board with a map of Central City pulled over it.
"Here." Barry said pulling Felicity in by the hand. "This is what I wanted to show you." He tugged her towards the white board and pulled back the map. Underneath was a massive collection of newspaper articles. Some of it was about a murder that took place many years ago but some of it Felicity recognized quickly. Scattered around the whiteboard was article after article about the so-called Hood and the enemies he had faced. There were articles about his battles with the huntress, the Count, Malcolm Merlyn. Even his battles with Blood and Slade were there.
"I've been following Oliver's exploits for a while now. It 's amazing what you guys have accomplished together." Barry said without thinking.
"Yeah, together." Except that they weren't together. Not really. Oliver claimed that they were a team and she was his partner but it was obvious now that she wasn't. She was just an employee to him after all.
"I didn't come all this way just to be reminded of Oliver Queen. He could shoot himself with an arrow for all I car-"Felicity stormed off into another corner of the room to get away from the articles that were reminding her about the time she and Oliver had spent together when she noticed a small refrigerated container half hidden in the debris.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." Barry said as he pulled back down the map. He turned back to speak to her but found her crouching over the container he thought he had hidden. "That's nothing. Please don't touch that."
But it was already too late. Felicity had already moved away the debris and opened the case. She held a vial of blood in her hand.
"Oliver Queen. Sample 34. Result: Unsuccessful." She read the label as she stood up. "What's this?" Felicity demanded as she turned back to face him.
Barry was speechless. About a hundred different excuses ran through his head but each was more ludicrous than the one before.
Felicity, on the other hand, was seething. She wondered now if Barry had only wanted to spend time with her in order to get close to Oliver? It didn't make any sense. These sample she was holding seemed to be fresh and that means Barry would have had to draw it from Oliver fairly recently. "Why do you have his blood?'
"I, uh-I can't tell you." In truth Barry wanted to tell her everything. Even before he had met Oliver, Barry had somewhat idolized the Arrow. For Barry, he became someone to look up to, to aspire to. It was gut wrenching for him to see their team in so much strife. He wanted to tell her and the only thing that was holding him back was that it was not his secret to tell.
"When did you even see Oliver to take some blood?" Felicity's voice was now louder and angrier than Barry had ever seen before.
"A few days ago. I needed more of it to analyze." Barry knew he was now tuck between a rock and a hard place. He realized belatedly that he should have never agreed to bring her to his lab in the first place.
"Analyze it for what?" Barry's tone suddenly had Felicity frightened.
Barry could only lower his head. "I want to tell you, I really do but you have to ask Oliver."
Felicity did not know what to make of everything. She was angry, confused, and frustrated. She had a half a mind to just turn around and forget all of them. What good were friends that pushed you away or hid things from you?
"Felicity?" Barry called to her. "You should hurry."
Despite everything that had happened when Felicity heard Barry urge her to hurry she turned and ran.
Barry stood there for a while looking at where Felicity had just been standing only moments before. He could only hope that he would one day meet someone as amazing as Felicity. Then in a blink of an eye he was speeding back to trying to find a cure for Oliver.
"You need to take it easy, man." Dig said as helped Oliver up onto the metal table. "That's two nights in a row that you almost-"
"Died?" Oliver finished for him. "I don't think that matters now, does it?" Just like the night before, the Arrow had gone on patrol only to find himself weak and disoriented. He sustained injury after injury but still he kept going. The only thing reason that he had come back was that a low life smuggler had slashed his chest when Oliver tried to break up his operation. The cut was deeper than Oliver had thought. The blade had sliced through his green outfit, through flesh, and drew blood.
"You know as well as I do that the knife would never even touched you had you been healthy." Diggle helped Oliver rip open his tunic. He had prepared some alcohol and warm water to clean off the injury but just like the night before it was already healing on its own with blood still trailing fro, the healing wounds.
"If I have to go out then at least I will do it fighting." Oliver said weakly.
'is that what this is all about?" Diggle asked angrily. "You want to die a soldier's death, is that it?" that was the last thing Dig wanted to see. He had seen enough of his brothers fall in combat and it was the last thing he wanted for Oliver.
Oliver cracked a smile at how Dig spoke to him. It was like an older brother giving him a lecture. "I just want to do as much as I can."
"And what about your mother and Thea? What do you think they will have to go through when they are called to identify your body in the morgue especially if you are still wearing that outfit?" Dig was just as frustrated as anyone. He knew Oliver was no longer thinking clearly but he also knew that he did not have any chance of swaying his Oliver's decisions. There was only one person who could do that. "What about Felicity? You are really going to die letter her think that you don't care for her?"
Oliver laid back down to rest his head. "Please don't talk about Felicity. I already see her everywhere I go."
"You're having hallucinations?" Dig asked more concerned than ever before.
Oliver grunted his answer. "It's getting worse too. At first I was just seeing her but now I can even smell her perfume."
"Oliver?"
Despite the weakness that was spreading through his body, Oliver Queen sat up from the cold table he was lying on. He tried to pull his torn shirt together to cover up the fresh scars that lined his chest and abdomen but he knew it was already late. Felicity had already and seen them and she was already moving towards him.
"I thought you were in Central City?" Oliver asked as he found a fresh shirt and slipped it on.
His question reminded Felicity why she had rushed back to Starling City in the first place. "Why does Barry have several vials of your blood? What is he analyzing? What are you keeping from? What the heck is going on?" The frustration had been building in felicity for quite some time and question after question rolled off her tongue.
Still Oliver remained silent and resilient in his decision. He turned to Diggle for help but his friend simply shook his head and stood up to leave the room to give them some privacy.
As he was leaving he looked in Oliver's direction in an attempt to offer him some reassurance. "She deserves to know."
Silence filled the lair as Diggle's footsteps faded. Oliver knew that Felicity was still staring at him even if he refused to meet her gaze. He closed his eyes when he heard Felicity start walking towards him. The echo of her heels against the stone floor was deafening to him. He knew exactly how many steps it would take for her to reach him. He prayed silently that she would just stop and turn away from him but he knew that any such prayer would be in vain. There was no way Felicity was leaving without getting the answers she so desperately sought.
Finally Oliver heard the heels come to a stop in front of him. He felt a soft hand reach up and cup his cheek. Oliver had to catch himself from letting out a sigh at the touch of her warm hand. Since he had found out he was dying there was nothing he craved more than to feel the touch of her skin. With that touch Felicity begged him to look at her. How could he refuse such a request. He slowly opened his and found himself face to face with the woman he loved. The same woman he had spent so much effort in pushing away.
What he saw there surprised him. He didn't see anger, or resentment, or even a hint of the hate she had said she felt for him during their last fight. Instead her eyes glistened with tears as she nudged him to meet her gaze. "Will you tell me what's going on, Oliver?" The way she said his name made him shiver.
"I can't." His voice was a little more than a whisper.
Felicity placed her other hand on Oliver's shoulder. "Whatever it is you are going through we can deal with it together, Oliver. We are a team. "
Oliver slowly shook his head but Felicity could already feel his resolve ebbing. "If you care for me at all you will tell me. We can survive anything if we work together.
Oliver stood suddenly and pulled away from her touch. "That's just it! We can't. I won't!'
"Nothing that you can say or do will push me out that door." Felicity said with a tone of finality in her voice. They both knew then that Oliver had lost. The only way for him to get rid of Felicity now would be to get physical with her but Oliver would sooner jump of a bridge. It was almost ironic. Despite all his strength, speed, and skill this one person, who probably less than half of his weight, could force him to back down.
With a sigh Oliver nodded, giving in. He walked towards the table holding his quivers. From one of the many cabinets Oliver pulled an empty syringe and handed it to Felicity.
She recognized it easily enough. It was one of the syringes that held the mirakuru. But the ones they had taken from Blood had been full. The syringe she held now was empty.
"I don't understand." Felicity looked up at him.
"It's what I've been keeping from you. From everyone…"
"You injected yourself with this?" Felicity thought she understood the depth of what Oliver was trying to tell her. "It's okay. If Roy learned to cope with it and so can you."
Oliver ran his fingers though her hair, just above the ear. He tried to memorize the feel of it all. "Slade was too strong, Felicity. I had no choice."
Suddenly understanding hit Felicity like a fist into her stomach. "Oliver, where are the other syringes?"
He just watched her silently for a moment before answering. "I gave them to Barry when he took samples of my blood."
Felicity's hands went to her mouth as she let out a gasp. "Tell me you didn't inject yourself with all of them."
His silence was answer enough.
"Tell me you didn't!" She repeated loudly. When he still didn't answer she questioned him again. "Why would you do that? You know how dangerous it is!"
Oliver steeled himself. He was about to tell her what he had promised himself he would not. "You were in danger. For me there was no choice to make."
She had heard him say those exact words once before when he had to kill the Count to save her. Back then she had cost him to break his vow to not kill again. She dreaded what she had cost him now.
"What did Barry say? What did the blood analysis show?" Felicity berated herself mentally for not insisting that Barry show her the results of his tests.
"He's doing the best he can. As soon as he figures something out he'll call." He tried at sound as reassuring as possible but he failed to convince even himself.
"Answer my question!" Felicity screamed at him. Her tears were falling freely now.
"I'm dying, Felicity." Oliver finally admitted. The mirakuru, it was too much for my body..."
Felicity couldn't believe what she was hearing. It had to be some sort of bad joke or another attempt to push her away but the fear that tinged his features told her otherwise.
"How long?" Felicity meant to ask how long before he died but she could not bring herself to say those words.
"How long, Oliver?!" She repeated when he refused to answer.
Oliver drew her into his arms as he whispered to her. "It's hard to be certain. A few days to a few weeks."
The color completely drained from Felicity's face as she sobbed into his shoulder. It all made sense now. Why he had stood her up. Why he gave her a promotion. Why he kept pushing her away. He was just trying to look out for her and for his trouble Felicity had told him that she hated him.
"I'm sorry." She grabbed onto his shirt tightly. She suddenly found it difficult to breathe.
Oliver pulled away a little so that she could see the sincerity in what he was about to say. "This isn't your fault. If I had to do things over again I would make the exact same choice."
Felicity shook her head vigorously. He had given up everything for her and all she had been thinking about was herself and her stupid feelings. The knowledge that he would die thinking that she hated him broke her heart. "I didn't mean what I said about hating you."
Oliver tried to lighten the mood. "I tried to get you to."
She didn't know if she wanted to hug him or strangle him for trying to protect her. "You should have told me. We are supposed to be partners. I want to be there for you as much as you are there for me."
"I know." Oliver brought his hand down to rub the bare skin of her arm. "I just wanted to give you a chance at a normal life after…."
"And I love you for that but it is my life, Oliver." The words left her mouth before Felicity had even realized she said them. She knew Oliver had heard though. His hand suddenly stopped where it was on her arm.
"I didn't mean that! Not the part about it being my life but I—uh, I meant I love spending time with you, no I mean I love working with you because I have a great job and it just so happens that I enjoy your company at night too." Felicity shut her eyes tightly. She couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth at a time like this.
"Felicity." She had started to count backwards when Oliver's soft voice urged her to open her eyes and look at him. When she did she found his face hovering inches from her. It seemed Oliver had decided that he would try a new method to stop her rambling.
Felicity became painfully aware of his hand on her arm. His grip tightened a little as if bidding her not to pull away. The distance between them seemed to be shrinking. She could almost feel his lips on hers…..
Then without warning the alarms on the consoles went off. The computer screen flashed on and transcripts of a 911 call started appearing on the screen. With a grim look in his eyes, Oliver dropped the hand that had been holding her.
"Oliver, you can't" She whispered as she placed her hand on his chest. The image of the fresh scars were still etched in her memory.
"I have to go." He slowly moved away from her and walked toward the casing that held his bow, the same bow the Felicity had given him after she and Diggle brought him back from the island.
"You're already hurt. Let someone else handle this." She pleaded with him.
Oliver pulled his outfit over his shirt. It was still torn from his previous fight. She struggled to find some way to keep him from going out there again. She couldn't lose him. She needed more time. "You're already dying! Don't go out there. I don't want to lose you."
"I'm sorry but the work doesn't stop just because I'm dying. People need me." With final glance in her direction, the Arrow disappeared from view.
"But I need you too." She said to the empty room. She did her best to compose herself and then rushed over to her computers. She quickly attached the headset.
"Oliver?' She asked, hoping that he hadn't turned off his coms.
"I'm here." He replied almost immediately.
"When you are done come home. I'll be here waiting." She said as she prepared to guide him to the origin of the 911 call. "I'll always be waiting." She said again too softly for him to hear.
A/N What's the verdict? Should I rewrite it?