Ok, so this is the part where I freak you all out… even more than usual! I'll get some content into this chapter, I swear! lol And I'm gonna experiment a bit with the POV for the next few chapters… You'll only know what Cloud thinks, so you'll have to guess for the other characters. Hehehe… should be interesting. Well, I hope!

Doubts

Cloud had been away from home for a few days now. A few deliveries to make, but all pretty close by. For once, though, he didn't really welcome it. Reno had been away on a mission too, but Cloud had become used to it. He didn't think it was that tough to deal with anymore. He still loved him, no doubt about that. It just… had become normal. Since that argument after the night at the club. He thought that was fixed, in a way, and since then, their relationship had become… stable. Not blazing and passionate, not distant and cold. The sex was still as hot as before, but he felt the need for it much less often.

He couldn't speak for Reno, though. He could never guess if the Turk only made believe he felt ok with them not having sex as before or if he really wasn't interested anymore… But since he was still acting nice and as usual and everything, Cloud preferred to think the redhead simply didn't mind. He really loved Reno, and really thought he had been stupid to stay alone all that time… before the redhead made that proposition to him nearly 8 months ago. But he was a little resentful cause Reno still hadn't even offered to take him to his apartment, even after all that time they spent in a relationship.

So maybe… Reno didn't think it was serious between them? Cloud really didn't know what to think…

Four days later…

Reno still hadn't returned from his last mission, and Cloud had to admit it was getting long. But the worse wasn't really his impatience for Reno to return. It was that he had way too much time to think now… and doubt. The Turk had given him reasons to do so, and Cloud just couldn't help himself. He didn't even know why, all of a sudden, he just began doubting Reno's faithfulness. After all, it wasn't as if he'd caught Reno in bed with someone else, or even just kissing someone else. In fact, Cloud had been losing his self-confidence. As for the reason to that, it couldn't be explained. It just happened. So of course he thought he wasn't good enough for Reno, and the guy had begun looking somewhere else…

And the blonde hadn't talked to Reno about any of that, of course, although he thought he probably should. Anyway, tonight, it was probably worse than ever, so Cloud put on a pair of old jeans and a dark grey long-sleeved turtleneck, then did pretty much exactly what he hated Reno to do: go to the bar and drink, drink, drink. Around midnight, Tifa had a little break and decided to sit with the blonde.

- "Hey, Cloud…" she said in a soft voice as she sat beside him at a table along the wall.

The ex-soldier simply downed another glass of whisky and then grabbed the bottle in front of him to fill his glass again.

- "You know you can talk to me, ne?" Tifa told him with a little smile.

Cloud closed his eyes and rested the back of his head on the wall, sighing. He didn't want to answer Tifa, didn't want to see her, didn't want to see anyone. Not… not even Reno.

- "You should stop drinking" Tifa sighed, grabbing the half-empty bottle of whisky on the table as she got up.

But Cloud reached out for it very quickly and held on tightly to it, shooting the brunette a more than serious stare.

- "Ok, ok!" she said in an exasperated voice as she let go of the bottle. "I guess you know what you're doing… well, I hope."

And she walked away to the bar again to take care of a few customers which had just come in. Cloud ran a hand through his hair and sighed as he closed his eyes again. After half a bottle of whisky, resistance to alcohol wasn't really making a difference anymore. The blonde knew if he finished it, he would end up crashing on his bed and forgetting about everything for at least a whole night. So he kept drinking and tried not to wonder too much about what Reno might be doing.

At some point, he had almost fallen asleep as he was leaning back against the wall, so he opened his eyes to make sure he'd stay awake… to finish his bottle. And he found himself face to face with Vincent Valentine. They stared at each other for a while, Vincent with his perfect poker face, and Cloud with a little suspicious and surprised stare. And then the blonde turned his eyes away before speaking.

- "What do you want?"

The raven-haired man stayed silent for a while, then made a hand gesture towards Tifa, who waved and hurried over with a glass of scotch.

- "You should try to teach Cloud how to be this reasonable too…" she told Vincent with an absolutely unsubtle stare at the whisky bottle in front of the blonde. "He usually listens to what you say."

Seeing she would definitely not get a word out of either men, she just left, sighing something that sounded like "boys". Cloud allowed himself a little smile… cause he agreed with her.

- "What is it this time, Cloud?" Vincent asked him after a small sip of scotch.

The blonde couldn't find how to answer right away, especially not with Vincent staring at him like that with his fiery eyes. And it was quite unlike the man to ask questions like that anyway… Cloud would have answered, but he was too drunk to explain it all properly even if he wanted to, so he just shrugged and answered:

- "I don't want to talk about it."

And he took another gulp of whisky, not even bothering to pour it into his glass this time, doing his very best not to meet Vincent's stare. It had always had that effect on him. It was as if the man could read through him just with a look. Freaky, if anything. There was a long moment of silence, during which Cloud nearly finished the whisky in his bottle and Vincent refused a refill proposed by Tifa… probably her way to test just how reasonable he was. Then, the raven-haired man spoke again.

- "You never… phoned in the verdict, as you'd said."

The ex-soldier lifted his eyes to look at him, but Vincent was looking away…

- "Are sins ever forgiven?"

Cloud just sat there for a while, as he realized he had never called him. And he had an answer to give him, although it took some time for the blonde's brain to arrange it into a grammatically correct sentence.

- "I believe… they are" he said in a little voice.

Vincent closed his eyes briefly as he made a small head nod in approval, and then he got up, telling Cloud:

- "Till next time."

- "When will that be?" the blonde asked before he could stop himself.

Damn, he thought to himself. That sounded incriminating… Blame the alcohol, blame the alcohol… Vincent had turned around to eye him suspiciously and the blonde was hoping that the dim lighting of the bar was hiding the blushing of his cheeks… After a moment which felt like an eternity, Vincent spoke again.

- "Are you alright, Cloud?"

It really sounded like he cared, thought the blonde…

- "Well…" he began saying. "It's… complicated."

- "It always is…" the raven-haired man said. "I was planning on coming here for a drink tomorrow. If you want to talk… I'll listen."

And before Cloud could even open his mouth to say something, Vincent had left the bar. The blonde sighed and rested the back of his head with a distinct bang on the wall behind him. He'd learned to appreciate Vincent over time, and he dared consider him as a friend. Ok, so nothing wrong there. So far. But the ex-soldier remembered feeling exactly the same when he asked Vincent when they'd see each other again as when Reno had smirked at him and proposed to "spice up his sex life"… That was definitely so wrong… And he remembered blaming the alcohol for his actions back then too…

But even if he doubted Reno's faithfulness, he still really loved the redhead. And that was surely why it hurt the blonde so much to doubt him like that. After another sigh, Cloud closed his bottle of whisky and grabbed it as he got up and did his best to walk straight as he headed for his bedroom. He was really grateful that there were a lot of people in the bar; they kept Tifa busy. Once in his room, he put his bottle down on his bedside table and decided to run himself a bath. He didn't want to sleep just yet, and now he regretted having gotten drunk… because he felt he had some serious thinking to do. So he slipped into a very hot bath and closed his eyes, focusing on chasing the haze from his brain. It took quite a while, nearly an hour, but he succeeded. He was still a little smashed, but at least he could think more clearly now.

So he did just that. And the first thing he questioned was why Vincent had brought up the sins thing. Did he know something about Reno? Or was it just a coincidence? Did he need to see a message there? With Vincent, there was always something you didn't get to know, so it could mean anything. And then… Had it been just cause he was drunk, or was he really attracted to the man? No, no, it was just the alcohol. Definitely. He loved Reno, he didn't love Vincent. Well, he did, but as a friend. Blame the whisky, he repeated to himself. He then decided that, tomorrow, he wouldn't touch a drop of alcohol to say exactly what he wanted how he wanted to Vincent. He knew it'd be easier to speak to him than to Tifa.

The next night…

Cloud had gone out to take some fresh air all day and to make a few local deliveries, but still it hadn't cleared his mind at all. And he'd been anxious all day, until Vincent arrived and sat with him at a table of the bar, in a corner. Then he became really anxious.

- "Not drinking?" the elder man asked in his ever-neutral voice.

Cloud smiled faintly and shook his head.

- "Feeling better, then?"

- "Not really…"

Vincent then got up, making a sign to Cloud with a finger to tell him to wait a minute. He walked up to Tifa at the bar and, a moment later, came back to the table with a beer in each hand.

- "Treat" he said simply as he sat down and handed one to the blonde.

How could someone say no to that? Cloud offered a little smile and took the beer. And he downed nearly half of it in one gulp. Fuck what he'd decided earlier, he knew he wouldn't be able to open up at all without a little help. Vincent was drinking much more slowly… They both finished their beer without a word, and it was a while after Tifa brought them some more before there was a beginning of a conversation going on between the two men.

- "Why do…" Cloud tried asking as he leant back in his chair and avoided Vincent's stare. "Why do, all of a sudden, you decide to appear and… want to… hell, I don't even know what you want!"

After a moment of silence, Cloud brought himself to look at the raven-haired man, but Vincent wasn't looking at him. The blonde couldn't quite understand what it was that was off about his expression, but there was something wrong… Before he had time to ask, Vincent took off his cape and hung it on the back of his chair. The ex-soldier had seen him do so only twice before in the bar, and on those nights, the raven-haired man had stayed and drunk until the bar had closed.

- "So you're… staying tonight?" Cloud asked, trying to conceal the happiness he didn't even know why he was feeling.

- "I'm staying tonight" Vincent replied, taking a gulp of beer.

Another long moment of silence. Well, between them. The bar was jam-packed and noisy. That was a good thing though, no one would hear them. It was only after the fifth beer that Cloud decided he could talk… and blame any mistake on the alcohol, even if he barely felt its effects so far.

- "Why tonight?" he asked.

- "Didn't you want to talk?" Vincent asked back, his poker face returning.

- "Vincent, I… I may be naive at times, but I'm not an idiot" Cloud replied, sustaining his stare. "You're not feeling alright either, ne?"

After a long sigh and another gulp of beer, the man lowered his eyes to the table and kept tapping on the beer bottle with one of his clawed fingers. Cloud wouldn't push. He knew Vincent wasn't the type to open up easily, not even to his friends. The blonde could understand that better than anyone… So he waited.

- "Lucrecia" Vincent suddenly said, his stare meeting Cloud's again in a daring manner.

The ex-soldier couldn't answer anything to that… Lucrecia was the last woman Vincent had loved… She had died and he wasn't able to save her. The blonde could understand the man's feeling of guilt, having felt it himself, for so long.

- "That should answer both the questions you just asked me."

Cloud finally lowered his eyes and finished the bit of beer left in his bottle.

- "How long… since…?" he asked in a little tentative voice.

- "Too long" his friend answered, finishing his beer.

It was a quality Cloud didn't entirely possess… Vincent could be talking about anything and it would all be in this same, neutral voice, as if nothing ever affected him.

- "So what's bothering you?" the elder man asked after a moment.

- "It's… well, I… I don't really know where to start explaining…" Cloud said, keeping his eyes on his empty bottle.

Vincent wasn't really of help… he just sat and waited. So the blonde took a deep breath and took his time to find the right way to put it. In the meantime, Vincent made signs to Tifa for her to bring two more beers, and once she'd brought them to the table, she mumbled something that sounded like "I knew he wasn't reasonable either…" as she walked away, and Cloud smiled faintly at this. Some things never changed… Anyway, back to the conversation.

- "If… Let's say there's… a person" the ex-soldier began saying as the man in front of him took a gulp of beer. "An important person… to you… and… you can't trust that person anymore… Would you say it?"

- "Reno" Vincent said, more as a statement that a question. "The Turk."

- "So you know too?" Cloud asked in a little voice, not lifting his eyes but allowing himself a little smile.

- "The whole city knows."

- "Well?"

Vincent breathed in deeply and drank from his bottle again, while Cloud anxiously waited for the man's advice. It had always been useful and helpful to him, so far…

- "Why don't you trust him?" the elder man finally asked, now staring straight into Cloud's eyes.

- "I… um… well, I… uh…"

- "Hn."

Cloud felt so stupid… He had nothing really solid to prove Reno was cheating. Just suppositions, conclusions. But he had nothing to prove the opposite either. He was glad though, Vincent wasn't making fun of him.

- "I… know I'll… I'll look stupid, talking to him about it, and he'll make a big fuss out of it" Cloud told the raven-haired man. "But… at the same time… well… I'm just… -sigh- I really don't know what to do."

The blonde grabbed his beer, closed his eyes and took a few gulps. Then he sighed loudly and put the bottle back on the table, leaning back in his chair and wishing things could be simple for once…

- "And then…" Cloud began saying, running a hand through his hair. "This should be the type of question you can answer much more easily than I… Do you think… you can love two persons at the same time?"

He knew it wasn't subtle, he knew he was blushing like crazy, and he knew this should be the last thing to do to Reno, even if the bastard was cheating on him. But even if it was just cause of the alcohol, Cloud's mind still told him Vincent was attractive. Dangerously so. And Cloud loved dangerous things…

- "You're wrong" Vincent finally said. "It's not an easy question."

- "You've… never loved anyone? After Lucrecia?"

- "I don't like to think about things like that."

Cloud's hopes pretty much died right there. He wasn't gonna get anything from the man. No help, no advice, and nothing close to physical intimacy. But at least it seemed that Vincent hadn't caught all the meaning of the blonde's words, even if it hadn't been subtle at all. A long silence followed the elder man's answer…

A few hours later, and quite a few beers later too…

- "You want an honest answer?"

Cloud was pretty much taken aback, first because Vincent hadn't spoken in hours, and then because he had forgotten the question he'd asked earlier. Well, temporarily. It quickly came back to him.

- "Y-yeah…" he said, leaning in a bit closer, expectant.

Vincent finished the rest of his beer, then set it down in front of him, staring at it for a long while before lifting his eyes to meet Cloud's and talking to him in a low voice, almost a growl.

- "I think you can really love just one person. The rest… it's not emotional, so much as physical."

It wasn't the kind of answer the ex-soldier was expecting… Well, ok, he hadn't been expecting much, but anyway, he didn't know how to react, what he should say. And then came the really unexpected.

- "I'm not stupid either, Cloud" Vincent said, voice lower than ever, a forearm on the table, stare more intense than ever. "I recognize the way you look at me. But forget it, it's not love. It's alcohol, male hormones and basic, animal instincts."

It was very apparent the red-eyed man was drunk, as Cloud had been the night before, or he wouldn't be talking openly like that. Weird to think how alcohol could change people… The blonde saw his chance there.

- "I… I just want-"

- "The same I want" Vincent finished, his stare evasive now.

Cloud just sat there for a moment, while the meaning of those words sunk in. And then he felt an incredible wave of heat all over his body as his mind had a lot of fun extrapolating and forming mental images…

- "Just once can't hurt, I guess…" Vincent said, looking at the ex-soldier again.

The speechless blonde gulped at being stared at like this and he didn't move a bit… until he gathered up some nerve and said:

- "Really, I... I wouldn't want… This is just-"

- "A one-night thing. To relieve tension."

- "Right. And I still… I don't want to lose you as a friend, and… well, I guess it's weird from the start, but… And being attracted… that way to a friend-"

- "After tonight we forget everything."

- "Ok… Sounds… sounds alright…"

Cloud, at that moment, was: 1. utterly embarrassed, and 2. impossibly nervous. He really couldn't believe this was gonna happen. Definitely wrong… but Reno didn't seem to care anyway… And what proof did he have that the redhead had really been on a mission for these past two weeks? He'd left without a word, he hadn't called… Cloud still felt that bit of guilt and shame, but the doubts and his body's needs were overcoming those.

- "There's a motel on the limits of the city, towards Midgar. I'll leave now, you leave in a while or it'll be too obvious. Room 21. In an hour I'll consider you changed your mind."

With those words, Vincent got up, grabbed his cape to put it on and then left the still full to the brim bar. Cloud stayed put, hands trembling, as his heart raced and beat hard against his ribcage, and he kept his eyes on his beer. Every sane part of his brain told him not to go, and to trust Reno, to be faithful… but this urge… His body (and the drunk parts of his brain) were all set to go. He sat there for a good while, trying to answer one sole question: should I go or not?

Do you think Cloud's gonna go? Muahahahaha!! lol I'm so bad… XD